We Need to Talk About Kevin
This morning on BBC, as part of the coverage on the horrorific murders in the peaceful Amish country of Pennsylvania, they interviewed Lionel Shriver, author of the award winning book “We Need to Talk About Kevin.”
This is not a recommendation. Shriver’s book, which has won several awards for literary excellence, is not for the faint-hearted. It is a tough, muscular, bleak examination of a similar, fictional incident, written after the Columbine High School massacres.
My best friend and I read this book at the same time – it was a book club selection, paired with another book on a similar theme, “Early Leaving.” We ended up exchanging horrified e-mails every morning, discussing events in the book as if they were a part of our daily life, and speculating on where this was all going.
It is from a mother’s point of view, written to her husband, from whom she is separated after . . . .something . . . We don’t know what that something is. The book unfolds steadily and relentlessly. You want to stop. Truly you do, I am not exaggerating. The book rolls on, so dark, so ominous, you know it is leading up to something truly horrible. You don’t want to look. And you can’t stop reading.
“Why are we reading this???” we asked each other in agony. And we didn’t stop.
“Why did you want me to read this?” your friends will say, as you pass this book along, and then, shell shocked, they will come to you to discuss it. Most often, I didn’t even recommend the book, but friends would overhear other friends talking about it in hushed, horrified voices, and would insist.
The book is the scariest, most real book I have ever read. It hits at the heart of every mother’s secret fears – what if we have done something wrong while raising our child? What if our child turns into a monster? Do we ever really know anyone – our children? Our husbands? Ourselves? We are all so vulnerable in our mothering skills, so quick to blame ourselves for our children’s failings, and this book bravely explores that fear, that vulnerability, without taking the easy way out and giving easy answers.
If you read this book you will find yourselves talking about it months – even years – after you read it. It is a terrifying book.
And after you read it you will understand why my heart is breaking for everyone involved in this unthinkable killing in Pennsylvania. Were I some superstitious person, it would be so easy – it is clearly the devil’s work. I can’t imagine what this man could have been thinking, but he chose his victims – young, innocent girls – with purpose. My heart aches for his wife and children, who will bear this shame for the rest of their lives, and for his parents, who will wonder where they went wrong. My heart breaks especially for the peaceable Amish, revered throughout America for their simplicity and commitment in living their faith, who must try to find a way to forgive the man who took their innocent daughters’ lives.
Oklahoma Speed Trap
I was driving near sunset along the major east-west interstate highway in Oklahoma, with my son, sound alseep beside me. It was a gorgeous evening, and I had driven all day but wasn’t tired. Driving conditions were excellent all day, and I was so thankful. Perfect time for prayer. So I was praying all kinds of thanks when I hear a siren and see the lights in my rear view mirror.
I pulled over, not without reluctance. I had just made it past a whole line of big trucks.
“Lady, didn’t you see me??” the State Patrolman asked.
“No, I didn’t, where were you?” I asked.
“I was between those trucks you whizzed by! I can’t believe you didn’t see me! What were you thinking?”
I felt really sheepish. “I was praying,” I said, hoping the cop was feeling kind-hearted.
He wasn’t.
For the only time in my life, I had to leave my car and go sit in the highway patrol car while he ran my license and my son’s car license plates. As we waited for the results, he kept asking me questions.
“Where are you going?”
“We’re driving back home from my son’s college.”
“Where’d he go to school?”
“Florida”
“And where are you going?”
“Home” (A Western state)
(How long can it take to run plates and a driver’s license???)
“What year is he?”
“He just graduated.”
“What did he graduate in?”
I felt so humiliated. Tears started running down my face. I could see my son watching me in the rearview mirror.
“Criminology” I sobbed.
True story. Our plates and license came back clean, but it didn’t make any difference. It was the most expensive speeding ticket I have ever had to pay.
Dolphins in the Gulf
For the years that we have been living in the Gulf, we have heard people talk about seeing dolphins, but we have never seen any. Most people say “we used to see dolphins.”
My husband and I pray together every morning before he leaves for work. This morning, as we were discussing my father and my upcoming trip home, before praying, he said “are there dolphins in Kuwait?”
“What a weird question in the middle of all the serious things we are talking about, ” I thought to myself, and asked him why he asked that.
“It must be a log,” he responded, “but I am watching something appear and re-appear, and it reminds me of a dolphin.”
We got the binos, and to our unimaginable delight, it was a pair of dolphins, lazily swimming along, grazing on the fish who have been jumping the last few days.
In the midst of sadness and daily responsibilities, God smiles. It felt like such a blessing, seeing these graceful creatures going about their dolphin business. Our scripture readings for today remind us that there are miracles happening all around us, if we have the eyes to see them. We had a little miracle this morning. Thanks be to God!
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