Today’s Jargon Watch
Jargon Watch: Satellite Sheik, Spitterati, Locasexual
Jonathon Keats
Today, 07:00 AM
(From Wired News Feed
Satellite Sheik n. A televangelist for Islam. These media-savvy religious leaders broadcast moderate Muslim beliefs on satellite TV and social networks, appealing to Arabs alienated by traditional imams.
Spitterati n. Celebrities who attend posh soirees organized to collect saliva for genetic sequencing. Power players like Rupert Murdoch and Harvey Weinstein have hosted spit parties to provide convenient venues for dispensing the requisite half teaspoon of drool.
Sea Grape n. Pet name for the newly discovered Gromia sphaerica. This grape-sized relative of the giant amoeba leaves an animal-like trail as it rolls itself along the seabed. It may be responsible for tracks in Precambrian fossils that were previously attributed to more complex organisms.
Locasexual n. An environmentalist who applies locavore logic to affection and, on principle, will date only locally. Refusing long-distance attachments and coolly calculating “sex miles,” this carbon-conscious canoodler makes love as romantic as a spreadsheet.
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Those are some good definitions. Thanks for the laugh
I am highly concerned about the spiteratti………
Spitterati?!!?!??!
Ewwwwwwwww
is there such a thing!?!??!? and WHY is there such a thing????
I so do not want to work at that spit bank!
The spit thing is gross…yech
Thanks, Davis.
LOL – these words are coined to define new phenomena; they don’t make the list until they are in use. I don’t know about the gene sequencing, but the elite often get taken with the thing of the day – back in the plague years, they had those dances, remember, to keep the plague away? Who knows what this is about??!!
“Satellite sheik” and its definition makes me a bit uncomfortable. First, because it encourages misspelling – its “sheikh”, not “sheik”. Second, because it lumps together “Muslims” and “Arabs”, ignoring both Arab Jews and Christians and non-Arab Muslims. If Mr. Keats had been a bit more careful in his wording – referring to _Arabic_ satellite television, for example – I would like this bit of jargon better!
Yeah, “Satellite Sheik” is not my favorite. Why can’t it just be Muslim televangelist/tele-preacher? I’ve seen both words used several times in this context and it makes more sense. It’s less “otherizing”.
Locasexual and otherizing?! LMAO!!
I prefer the commingling of my smegmalicious locasexuals with the hemisexual demisexual in me.
LOL, BL, you are reading back in 2009!