Re-Igniting the Romance with Date Night
Good news – doing new and exciting things together help keeps a relationship fresh and intense. AdventureMan and I have always wanted to take dance lessons together, but have never had the time. I can hardly wait! Snorkeling in a new and exotic site . . . an African safari . . . trying a new restaurant, a new cuisine . . . finding new places to explore . . . novelty helps keep a marriage fresh and engaging.
From The New York Times. You can click this blue type to read the entire article.
Long-married couples often schedule a weekly “date night” — a regular evening out with friends or at a favorite restaurant to strengthen their marital bond.
But brain and behavior researchers say many couples are going about date night all wrong. Simply spending quality time together is probably not enough to prevent a relationship from getting stale.
Using laboratory studies, real-world experiments and even brain-scan data, scientists can now offer long-married couples a simple prescription for rekindling the romantic love that brought them together in the first place. The solution? Reinventing date night.
Rather than visiting the same familiar haunts and dining with the same old friends, couples need to tailor their date nights around new and different activities that they both enjoy, says Arthur Aron, a professor of social psychology at the State University of New York at Stony Brook. The goal is to find ways to keep injecting novelty into the relationship. The activity can be as simple as trying a new restaurant or something a little more unusual or thrilling — like taking an art class or going to an amusement park.
The theory is based on brain science. New experiences activate the brain’s reward system, flooding it with dopamine and norepinephrine. These are the same brain circuits that are ignited in early romantic love, a time of exhilaration and obsessive thoughts about a new partner. (They are also the brain chemicals involved in drug addiction and obsessive-compulsive disorder.)
Most studies of love and marriage show that the decline of romantic love over time is inevitable. The butterflies of early romance quickly flutter away and are replaced by familiar, predictable feelings of long-term attachment.
. . . . . .
Dr. Aron cautions that novelty alone is probably not enough to save a marriage in crisis. But for couples who have a reasonably good but slightly dull relationship, novelty may help reignite old sparks.
And recent brain-scan studies show that romantic love really can last years into a marriage. Last week, at the Society for Personality and Social Psychology conference in Albuquerque, researchers presented brain-scan data on several men and women who had been married for 10 or more years. Interviews and questionnaires suggested they were still intensely in love with their partners. Brain scans confirmed it, showing increased brain activity associated with romantic love when the subjects saw pictures of their spouses.
It’s not clear why some couples are able to maintain romantic intensity even after years together. But the scientists believe regular injections of novelty and excitement most likely play a role.
Rape in Kuwait – the flip side
By now you know a lot about who I am – what I laugh at, what I treasure, and what makes me break out in a storm of fury. Rape is one of those issues; the sheer entitlement that goes with stripping another human of choice and violating flesh as if the victim were nothing more than a piece of meat, it energizes me to a white rage, whether the victim is man, woman or child.
And then . . . and then . . . there are very strange cases of reported rapes in Kuwait that I have a hard time imagining exactly what happened here. I am not being flip, in a flippant sense; I am perplexed. We sometimes get so little of the story, and once you have a key piece of information – which we often never have – things make sense.
This is from today’s Kuwait Times:
Minor Raped
Police said a minor girl told Salhiya police that while she was sitting on the beach, a young man approached her and told her that he belonged to a well-known family. He then took her to an apartment in Sharq where he raped her before returning her to the same area. Later, another man approached her and took her to another apartment and raped her as well. She provided police with their mobile phone numbers. The case is under investigation.
Does this not sound peculiar to you? For one thing, is she sitting alone on the beach? Does she know these men? She goes with them – alone? By choice? Twice, with two different men? They give her their phone numbers?? To me, there is a lot of information missing in this report. It sounds like a very strange case of rape. I almost wonder if the minor has a mental incapacity, but it doesn’t say that.
Man, Woman arrested
A police patrol traveling in Sulaibiya recently suspected a young man and woman as they were driving. (Note to self: remind Kuwait Times that you do not use “Police suspected. . ” without specifying which behavior they found suspicious) Police asked to see their civil IDs and discovered that the young woman had run away from home one month ago. During interrogation, she confessed that the man and his three friends had raped her several times in a flat. The case is under investigation.
The following one is not about rape (nor am I sure the above cases are about rape) but is a case that makes you go “hmm. . .. what??”
Runaway Woman
A Filipina woman recently told Sulaibikhat police that she abandoned her sponsor’s home in Bneid Al-Gar before going to her Pakistani friend’s flat in Doha. Two months later, the woman became pregnant. She then reported the matter to the police.
She went to the police and said “I am a runaway, and I am pregnant” knowing she will be charged with absconding AND with immorality, maybe adultery? Knowing she will go to jail? What, exactly, is she hoping to gain? What is she reporting?
The crime news is full of mysterious glimpses, and we rarely know the rest of the story.
Expecting Too Much?
The newspapers in Kuwait have gotten better. Really. They are using fewer hackneyed cliches, their spelling is better, their use of photos is getting better – mostly the captions match the photo.
This, however, is inexcusable.
A headline featuring the Emir of Kuwait – a big story.
Sew, my newspaper friends, is what you do with a needle.
Sow is what you do with seeds, or grains, as in “as you sow, so shall you reap.”
Oh, Arab Times, the shame!
AMIR WARNS IN RUN-UP TO POLL CAMPAIGN; ‘Prosecute bids to sew disunity’
KUWAIT CITY, April 12, (KUNA): His High-ness the Amir Sheikh Sabah Al-Ahmad Al-Jaber Al-Sabah on Sunday called on the relevant national authorities to take legal action against persons or establishments that target national unity in the run-up to the electoral campaigns. The Amir made the call during an extraordinary session of the Cabinet that he chaired. The meeting was attended by HH the Crown Prince Sheikh Nawaf Al-Ahmad Al-Jaber Al-Sabah and Minister of Amiri Diwan Affairs Sheikh Nasser Sabah Al-Ahmad Al-Sabah. Following the session, Deputy Prime Minister and Minister of State for Cabinet Affairs Faisal Mohammad Al-Hajji Bou-Khaddour stated that HH the Amir, during the meeting, expressed his dismay and regret at those who are fomenting discords and hateful factional disputes, as part of their campaigns for the upcoming elections for the ninth legislative term of the National Assembly.
Facebook Hurts your Grades?
From CNET News
Yes, researchers at Ohio State University have delved deep into the habit that is Facebook and concluded that those who express their membership regularly do worse in school tests.
In fact, they say, the majority of those who Facebook daily do worse by as much as one whole grade.
Aryn Karpinski, one of the Ohio State education department researchers, was quoted in the Times of London as saying: “Our study shows people who spend more time on Facebook spend less time studying. “Every generation has its distractions, but I think Facebook is a unique phenomenon.”
Ms. Karpinski will be presenting her findings this week at the annual meeting of the American Educational Research Association.
Some 68 percent of the Facebookers among the 219 young things questioned enjoyed a significantly lower GPA than those who eschewed friending and poking.
Prison Security Inspectors Attacked by Somali Women
I don’t know why this makes me laugh, but it does. Like if you are visiting a prison, don’t you just take it for granted that your bags, your person may be inspected? Why would you object – unless you are trying to smuggle something in to the person you are visiting? And can’t you figure out that if you ATTACK a security person, you are likely to get arrested? I don’t know why, I guess that life throws you curves and this is a situation that jumped from zero to 100 on the intensity scale in a very short time. You have to wonder – well, I have to wonder – what the participants were thinking?
Staff Writer
Al Watan
Kuwait: Security authorities in the Central Prison arrested two Somali women after they assaulted four female Kuwaiti inspectors and refused to submit to search while they were passing through Gate B in the prison.
The incident started when one of the female inspectors asked the two Somali women to submit to search procedures. However, the two women refused and attacked the inspector. Although the other female inspectors tried to save their colleague, they were also assaulted by the two Somali women. The prison authorities interfered and arrested the two women. The injured inspectors were taken to hospital to receive medical services, in addition to issuing a medical report that described their injuries.
Schools Start Date 23 September 2009 in Kuwait
School year to begin on Sept. 23
Staff Writer
Al Watan
KUWAIT: The Council of Undersecretaries at the Ministry of Education has officially announced the next academic year’s schedule. Intermediate and secondary stage students are scheduled to resume their classes on Sept. 23, while kindergarten and primaryـone schoolchildren are expected to return to school on Sept. 27, while children in the other primary stages are due to resume later; on Sept. 29. In another development, the council has also decided to cancel retests for students of all stages and announced that the new intermediate evaluation system will be introduced from the next academic year.
I am guessing that this is after Ramadan, and after the Eid al Adha?
Last updated on Monday 13/4/2009
Monday, 13 April 2009 Sunrise
Good morning, Kuwait.
Forecast for today – hot – and humid. Aarrgh.
In Florida, this is the weather that makes the flea eggs start hatching. When it hits over 30°C or 85°F, to me, that is hot. I always hate it when I have to close up the windows and have the A/C on 24/7, but I also hate sweating . . .
Early mornings are nice . . .
Easter Sunrise and Noah’s Ark
Today is the most beautiful day in the church year, Easter Sunday. Mary and Mary go to the tomb where Jesus was laid, only to find the 2 ton stone rolled away from the entrance, and angels waiting there, telling the women that Jesus was not there, that he had arisen. If you have been reading this blog for any time at all, you will know that it delights my heart that women were the first to know, and that Jesus, resurrected, appeared first to a woman. In the Bible, she tells the men and they don’t believe her. LLOOLL.
It is a glorious Easter morning:
As part of her Easter greeting today, a friend sent the following, which I love. Since all three traditions, Jewish, Christian and Moslem, celebrate Noah (Noh) I thought I would share it with you.
Noah’s Ark
(Everything I need to know, I learned from Noah’s Ark. )
ONE: Don’t miss the boat.
TWO: Remember that we are all in the same boat!
THREE: Plan ahead. It wasn’t raining when Noah built the Ark.
FOUR: Stay fit. When you’re 60 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.
FIVE: Don’t listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.
SIX: Build your future on high ground.
SEVEN: For safety’s sake, travel in pairs.
EIGHT: Speed isn’t always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
NINE: When you’re stressed, float awhile.
TEN: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.
ELEVEN: No matter the storm, when you are with God, there’s always a rainbow waiting.
Have a great day, a blessed day, Kuwait.
Kuwaiti Men and the Women’s Vote
What is not to love about Kuwaiti men? Most of the Kuwaiti men I know are strong proponents of the Kuwaiti woman, sometimes, just as in my own country, the men are stronger proponents of women’s rights than the women are. Saw this editorial cartoon last week and intended to publish it, but somewhere, it got lost. No longer.
Kudos on you, Ahmed. Great cartoon!
New Study Links Oral Sex to Throat Cancer
No, this is not an April fool’s joke. The article is found in Thursday’s BBC Health News, you can read the entire article by clicking on the blue type here.
Oral sex linked to throat cancer
A virus contracted through oral sex is the cause of some throat cancers, say US scientists.
HPV infection was found to be a much stronger risk factor than tobacco or alcohol use, the Johns Hopkins University study of 300 people found.
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