Insecure
How can I be this ripe old age and still suffer from insecurity? Thanks be to God, it isn’t often, actually only a couple situations. I always joke that when I visit my Mom, I gain ten pounds on the way, and feel huge as I waddle off the plane. Flying back home, those new pounds miraculously disappear. I know it is all in my imagination, and knowing that doesn’t help.
There is a competition coming up, a quilt show, and I am trying to get a couple entries ready. One design I knew would be a snap, I’ve done all the various parts a hundred times before (well, many times anyway) but this time I am painfully aware if points don’t match up or placement is not perfect. It is costing me time, crucial time for the preparations, as I rip out and re-do, sigh, rip out again and re-do. Just when I think I have it licked, I see something else that needs a re-do.
I know that the problem is that I am looking with a critical eye of the most critical judge. Most of the time my quilts are for babies, or friends, or family, and while they may be flawed, my family and friends love me and love my quilts, and they live happily ever after. It’s only when I know the quilts will be compared to other quilts, other, more painstaking and meticulous quilters, that I start to quail and flounder.
When I teach, I tell my students “this is supposed to be fun! Have fun with it! If you struggle too long, set it aside and come back; a solution will appear.” I teach tricks to cover flaws, I build their self-confidence, I show them how to attain ‘good enough’.
I am my own worst critic. I just have to fight discouragement and defeat at the hands of my inner critic.
(The quilt at the top is not one of the entries; it is a quilt I did for an earlier competition.)
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aaah! π dont be too hard on yourself! or atleast for too long! π
I think the best part is the huge sense of accomplishment we experience in creating something, that boosts us tremendously. So dont let that part be overshadowed by being too critical. But ofcourse I understand, putting in something for judgement is a different matter altogether. Anyways, I am sure you will do great, and nothing is going to be out of place! Best of Luck!! π
I understand completely. My latest discovery is very large rick rack. It covers a multitude of sins and people think you planned it that way!
Thank you, Onlooker. π You are right, the best part is the process of creation, but when we start second guessing ourselves, nothing gets completed. Keep me in your prayers!
LOL, Momcat, you DO understand completely. π
I so enjoy seeing your needlework. On this piece I’m drawn to the golden threads radiating from the center sun. Brilliant, just brilliant.
Thank you, Saladsnail, thank you for noticing. That was a new technique I experimented with, zigzag quilting; learned from a friend and quilting instructor in Kuwait. I wanted a crackly, lightning kind of effect. We were doing a year studying Isaiah in the local BSF, and that piece was called End of Times.