Saying Goodbye to Al Marai Coffee Cups
All my nomadic life, I have had to sift, sort and weigh the value of my belongings – literally. As an Army wife and later a corporate wife, I had a weight allowance as we moved from country to country. My life was full of leaving things behind – friends, churches, social groups, jobs, my identity – as well as belongings.
Unlikely items made the cut. In 2003, when we moved to Doha, Qatar, I discovered a nearby store, the LuLu (which means lovely large pearl), where a gallon of Al Rifai milk came with a free coffee cup sturdily taped to it. I was delighted. I’ve always believed good design does not necessarily correlate with price – and these cups were a perfect size and had these wonderful scenes from Doha life, where there was a dhow harbor in the center of town, dhows in the harbor, and camel races with human riders on Saturdays. Look! The dhow coffee cup even has a wind tower in the background.
So yesterday, Christmas Day, as I opened two beautiful new coffee cups, one from Giverney and one from Barcelona, my husband looked at me sorrowfully, and approached the subject gently.
“It’s time we give up the Doha coffee cups,” he said.
“They have served us well. They are over 20 years old. They were free, probably made in China from materials we don’t even want to think about. I use them all the time, and even as I do, I wonder what might be leaching into my drink.”
I know he is right. There is no marking of any kind to indicate origin. After all these years, marks are appearing where we have stirred for twenty years. And yet – these cups have served me loyally. They are still bright and unmarred. I love their memorialization of a slower time in Doha. And I have options.
At Christmas breakfast, I have the cups out on display and offer them to my son. He is a discerning collector of first editions by selected authors, first edition Legos from the space exploration collections, edged weapons, and selected items that catch his attention. He also knows how to buy and sell on the Internet when he wants to refine his collections.
He expresses interest but does not take them with him. Their departure, however, is Christmas Day chaotic – bags full of presents, the food divided to be used for quick meals in the coming week (even our grandchildren contributed to our Christmas Eve dinner, my grandson a crab dip and my granddaughter a wreath made of crescent roll wrapped little smokies. My son, who was never interested in cooking, astonished us with a baked Brie!) and last-minute check-ins on upcoming family plans.
I am a patient woman. I know those cups deserve to find new appreciation in a new home. I believe my son will get involved but if not, I have other options.
Update: This is what it is like to be me. It is not that I am getting older, it is that I will tell you things I believe to be true, and they are close, but not the same.
My friend Yusuf, below, said he thought it must be Al Marai, and that sounded familiar. AdventureMan said maybe really we should keep the cups, and as he handled them, He found Al Marai logos on the cups. Not just one. Two on each cup.
In our family, we are all very very sure we are right. When we are not right, we are required to humbly state it. I was wrong, so very very wrong; the cups were labeled, Al Marai, not Al Rifai, and YOU, Yusef and AdventureMan, were RIGHT.
And we are keeping the cups!
Thank You, Montana
A moment of clarity and good will brought to us by one of the manliest, reddest states in the
USA. Every family has individuals with gender issues. We’ve learned not to demonize our brothers and sisters, not to punish them for the way they are wired. Thank you, Montana for a breath of fresh air and good sense. Thank you, Washington Post, for a lucid exposition of the actions taken.
With GOP help, Montana lawmakers vote down transgender bathroom rule
The measure would have barred Rep. Zooey Zephyr from using women’s bathrooms near the House and Senate chambers.
Montana state Rep. Zooey Zephyr (D) stands in protest on the House floor on April 24, 2023 at the state Capitol in Helena. (Thom Bridge/Independent Record/AP)
Several Montana Republicans joined Democrats on Tuesday to block a measure that would have barred transgender lawmakers from using the state Capitol bathrooms that aligned with their gender identities.
The proposed measure would have banned Rep. Zooey Zephyr, a transgender Democratic lawmaker who was reelected in November, from using the women’s bathroom outside Montana’s House and Senate chambers. Last year, Zephyr was silenced in the House after speaking out against her Republican colleagues for their support of a ban on gender-affirming care for transgender children.
Weeks ahead of her return to the House floor, Zephyr’s colleagues in the chamber rejected the bathroom measure in a 12-10 vote. Three Republicans joined Democrats in voting against it, characterizing it as a rule that would not add value to their work while also noting they didn’t necessarily disagree with the ideology driving it.
Zephyr told The Washington Post on Wednesday that she was grateful to her GOP colleagues who voted “no.” She said she has a “good working relationship” with them, adding that their votes against the measure showed they were “able to recognize this for the distraction that it is.”
(Created with Datawrapper/The Washington Post)
Anti-trans bills have doubled since 2022. Our map shows where states stand.
“I hope that it serves as a signal to other Republicans across the country that there are more important things that governments should be focusing on besides targeting transgender people,” Zephyr said.
Montana’s measure paralleled a resolution introduced by Rep. Nancy Mace (R-South Carolina) last month that proposed changing House rules to ban trans lawmakers and visitors to the U.S. Capitol from using bathrooms associated with their gender identity. Mace’s resolution came two weeks after Sarah McBride, a Democrat from Delaware, became the first openly trans person elected to Congress.
Ahead of Tuesday’s vote, state Rep. David Bedey (R) said he would “reluctantly” cast a “no” vote, describing the measure as “a distraction.” Bedey, though, also made clear that he still had his “own opinion” on gender dysphoria, which he said was a “scientific issue actually that needs to be resolved.”
“This particular action will have the effect of making people famous in the national news and will not contribute to the effective conduct of our business,” Bedey said.
The Montana legislature made headlines across the country in April 2023, when the House was discussing four anti-trans bills — one of them a ban on gender-affirming care for trans children.
During an April 18 debate on the House floor, Zephyr said restricting access to care for trans minors was “tantamount to torture.”
“This body should be ashamed,” she said.
Later on in her remarks, addressing colleagues supporting the ban, Zephyr said: “I hope the next time there’s an invocation, when you bow your heads in prayer, you see the blood on your hands.”
Afterward, GOP leaders in the House silenced Zephyr, declining to recognize her during debate for days. Protests ensued, and about one week later, Zephyr’s Republican colleagues voted to formally punish her, saying that her comments were derogatory and that she had violated decorum in the legislature.
Zephyr was no longer allowed to debate and could only vote remotely.
Montana’s legislature did not meet this year, meaning Zephyr’s reelection last month opened the door for her to return to the House floor in January for the first time in 19 months.
On Tuesday, the Joint Rules Committee met to discuss amending rules ahead of the new legislative session, including the bathroom measure.
State Rep. Jerry Schillinger opened the discussion by saying that the proposal put forth a “relatively simple rule change.”
“It says what probably shouldn’t need to be said and puts into rules what probably shouldn’t need to be put into rules,” Schillinger said.
Multiple Republicans agreed with him.
State Rep. Jedediah Hinkle (R) said he knew multiple lawmakers who did not use the women’s bathroom outside the House and Senate chambers, adding that they walked across the Capitol to use a different one because they were uncomfortable “being in the same bathroom with a man,” an apparentreference to Zephyr.
He urged his colleagues to help Montana set an early precedent as lawmakers around the country are beginning to confront the same issue in legislative buildings.
Hinkle did not call out Zephyr by name but indirectly referenced her in his argument supporting the measure.
“We have one representative right now, but in the future, we could have many,” Hinkle said. “This could be an ongoing thing, and I think it’s time that this body addresses this issue now, as they are addressing it nationally.”
During the last legislative session, Hinkle said, lawmakers had installed locks on the doors leading into multi-stall bathrooms to permit individual legislators to use them alone if they desired.But that accommodation did not work, he said, adding that it kept lawmakers from their duties. Bedey, one of the Republicans who voted against the measure, later countered Hinkle’s point, saying that there was no evidence that lawmakers had missed votes.
Otherwise, Bedey said, he “might have a different opinion.” Following about 12 minutes of discussion, the measure passed in the Senate committee, 11-7. But the House voted it down, aided by the Republican votes. Zephyr commended her GOP colleagues who voted against it.
“I think those Republicans are likely talking to people in their district who are also saying, ‘Listen, people of Montana are struggling right now,’” Zephyr told The Post.
She said Wednesday that there were issues — including housing and health care — to address in the months to come, and a measure about the Montana Capitol bathrooms “is not helpful for the work that we were sent here to do.”
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