Here There and Everywhere

Expat wanderer

Peeking Inside

You are a blessing in my life.

You think you are just blogging, but for me, you allow me to get a little bit beneath the surface of what your lives are like here in Kuwait.

I have to assume that most of you, like me, protect a lot of realities in your life, and that I am just getting the surface, just getting what you feel comfortable sharing with me.

And yet . . .no matter how superficial the “peek,” it is better than nothing.

Over time, we build a body of work. No matter how discreet we are ( Little Diamond I almost wrote “discrete,” and thinking of your pet peeve, checked it, thank God!) we reveal how we think, and what is important to us.

I love having some Kuwaiti friends. You teach me things I could never learn in a million years, just looking from the outside.

True story: I am having breakfast with my Kuwait friend at the Al-Kout Mall and she shivers. This friend is very special to me; it’s as if a flame burns inside her, keeping her pure and true from the inside out.

“I feel so out of place here!” she says.

I am truly bewildered.

“You are Kuwaiti! This is a Kuwaiti Mall!” I cry. “What is it that makes you so uncomfortable?”

“It’s like another world,” she says. “I’m not dressed conservatively enough.”

She is dressed in jeans – not tight. A t-shirt – not tight. And has a long sleeved shirt to go over it tied around her shoulders. She is entirely modest.

“I don’t see it,” I say. “Please, let me see through your eyes. What are you seeing, how is it different, why are you uncomfortable?”

“You’ve been to Marina Mall,” she responded. “You can see the difference?”

Of course. But Marina Mall . . . it is kind of a la la land to me, sort of bizarre. It almost looks Western, but there are things that are just not quite right . . .

“Yes,” she said. “You’ve got it.”

I still don’t know what I’ve got. So she starts explaining . . .”Look, you can see how the thobes are cut differently down here, tighter around the chest.”

(Uh . . . no, I can’t see!)

“. . . and the cuffs, the way they button. And the shoes are different, less . . . . ”

all of a sudden, I am thinking of my friend who taught Arabic, and the hours she labored, trying to get me to hear the difference between the light “t” and the hard “t”, I am trying and trying, but I don’t get it and then one day – I do!

I thank God for you, my friends, letting me see through your eyes, helping me understand, giving me new ways of seeing the world.

March 20, 2007 Posted by | Adventure, Blogging, Communication, Cross Cultural, Eating Out, ExPat Life, Friends & Friendship, Kuwait, Language, Living Conditions, Random Musings, Relationships, Women's Issues | 7 Comments

You All Look the Same to Us

“Which one is Noriko?” my instructor asked me.
“She’s Japanese, ” I responded, “She sits between Katrina and Joyce.”

She looked up at me and grinned.

“We can’t tell you apart, you know,” she laughed. “You all look the same to us. It takes us weeks, even months, to be able to tell you apart.”

Maybe I should have been offended, but I wasn’t. My class was made up of Europeans, Americans, Asians – people from all over the world who wanted to learn Arabic. It was funny to me that she couldn’t tell us apart, but I often have the same problem – I’m bad with faces. When you’re the teacher, looking out at a sea of faces – it takes a while.

But it has become a family tag-line, a joke – “You all look the same to us”.

March 19, 2007 Posted by | Adventure, Cross Cultural, Doha, ExPat Life, Friends & Friendship, Humor, Language, Qatar, Random Musings, Relationships | 2 Comments

Kiss the Kuwaiti Police

In the middle of the night last night, I was wide awake. The Qatteri Cat and I watched a police stop outside our window for about an hour.

I am guessing it was a combination traffic stop and training session. There was one guy who would gather the rest together when there were no cars and give additional techniques to the less-experienced traffic policemen. I am guessing, because there is no way on earth I would go out and ask!

Policeing in Kuwait is SO different. These young men are very professional. They were looking for people without driver’s licenses and / or without registrations. They had very cleverly positioned themselves so once the car was on the road, there was no way out but to go through them. Very strategic, very professional.

“So what is so different?” you might wonder, if you live in France, or Germany, or China or the US. “Isn’t that what police do?”

Yes. And no. One of the last people caught in the web was an old man traditionally dressed in thobe and gutra and egal, and he tried to get through by pretending he didn’t see the police. He didn’t have the right papers.

In my country, just trying to get through would get him into trouble.

He had to park, and get out of the car. Then, he went to each policeman and reached out with his right hand to take the policeman’s left arm, then he kissed them, on the nose or on the right cheek, and greeted them, still holding their arm or hand.

And the police treated the old man with deference, and kindness – and firmness. He still didn’t have the right papers. At one point, he pushed a policeman lightly, and the policeman didn’t go ballistic, but he gently pushed the old man back, out of his face. Finally, it was time to move the traffic stop, and they let him go, but I am guessing that, as the Kuwait Times always says “a case will be filed.” It did not look like he was getting off scot-free; the old man looked very unhappy.

I went back to bed happily, thinking how shocked our police would be, how they would react to someone holding their hand and kissing their nose, and drifted back to sleep with a big grin on my face.

March 14, 2007 Posted by | Adventure, Bureaucracy, Crime, Cross Cultural, Customer Service, ExPat Life, Generational, Kuwait, Living Conditions, Middle East, Relationships, Social Issues | 3 Comments

Risk Taking Men Found Less Attractive

Risk-taking men ‘not attractive’ from BBC Health News.

Women are not attracted to dare-devil men, US researchers believe.
Men thought the opposite sex would be attracted by risky stunts such as bungee jumping and fast driving, a study of 48 men and 52 women found.

But in contrast, women said it was a turn-off, claiming they preferred more cautious people for partners.

However, the team from the University of Maine in Orono said those who took risks for the thrill were likely to be respected by fellow men.

Lead researcher Dr William Farthing said: “Men thought women would be impressed by pointless gambles, but women in fact preferred cautious men.”

However, Dr Farthing said women were attracted to men with a high-status, so if the risk-taking meant a man was respected by his friends they could then become attractive.

During the research, reported in New Scientist magazine, the young people were all given a series of scenarios to choose from, including saving someone’s life and fast driving.

The participants were asked to decide which they found more attractive.

The majority of women choose an altruistic action, rather than a thrill-seeking scenario.

Dr David Lewis, a member of the British Psychological Society, said in many ways the findings were not surprising.

“Previous studies have show that women are attracted to someone who acts in an altruistic way. Saving someone’s life shows a degree of empathy and sensitivity, and this is an attractive trait in men.

“On the other hand men see risk-taking as a particularly macho characteristic.

“Social norms are important and our society attaches weight to men expressing their macho qualities.

“But I think what you would find is that as men get older, they become less prepared to take risks.

“When you decide to do something you attach a cost-benefit to it, and when men are older the priorities they place on things change.”

March 13, 2007 Posted by | Adventure, Family Issues, Health Issues, Marriage, Mating Behavior, News, Relationships, Social Issues, Women's Issues | 7 Comments

Jet Escort

Less than a minute ago, outside my window, a plane departed Kuwait with a THREE jet escort. Who could that be?

February 28, 2007 Posted by | Adventure, Counter-terrorism, ExPat Life, Kuwait, Middle East, News, Random Musings | 4 Comments

Facets of Oman 4

The pit loom weaver spins his threads:
00pitloomweaver.JPG

The Batinah potter; one of the last who handmakes clay water pots:

00batinahpotter.JPG

Muscat Souk on a rainy night:

00muscatsoukrain.JPG

Indian Mosque near Muscat Souk:

00indianmosquemuscat.JPG

February 28, 2007 Posted by | Adventure, Arts & Handicrafts, ExPat Life, Geography / Maps, Living Conditions, Lumix, Middle East, Oman, Photos, Travel | 3 Comments

Facets of Oman 3

Nizwa mosque shot from Nizwa fortress – even more gorgeous in person. This isn’t the best photo, but I like the bird in it:

00nizqamosque.JPG

The desert weaver had cuffs she had embroidered herself. Cuffs everywhere were a work of art:

00weavers-cuff.JPG

The women welcomed photos – this desert woman was the mother-in-law of the weaver. She was delightful.

00desert-woman.JPG

February 27, 2007 Posted by | Adventure, Arts & Handicrafts, Cross Cultural, ExPat Life, Geography / Maps, Lumix, Oman, Photos, Shopping, Travel, Women's Issues | 5 Comments

Facets of Oman 2

The Mountain Weaver’s Brother, Jebel Shams:00mountainweaversbrother.JPG

The Indigo Grower:

00indigodyer.JPG

The Nizwa Fort at night:

00nizwafortnight.JPG

February 26, 2007 Posted by | Adventure, Arts & Handicrafts, ExPat Life, Holiday, Lumix, Oman, Photos, Travel | Leave a comment

Facets of Oman

At a mountain pottery making village:
00omanpottery.JPG

The Omani weaver in Jebel Shams:
00omaniweaver.JPG

The Jebal Shams weaver’s grandchildren:

00omanichildren.JPG

February 25, 2007 Posted by | Adventure, Arts & Handicrafts, Cross Cultural, ExPat Life, Geography / Maps, Living Conditions, Lumix, Middle East, Oman, Tools, Travel, Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Global Terrorist Incidence Map

My husband told me about a website, Global Incident Map.com where terrorist events are entered on the map and refreshed every 300 seconds (sometimes a little faster and sometimes a little slower.)

You first see a map of the world with flashing incidence icons – explosions, planes, some I am still figuring out. You can click on any one incident to get more information. You can also zoom in and out a la Google Earth – same kinds of controls, to get a closer look at any one part of the globe.

As you scroll down the page, you find a listing of the 25 newest events, listed by country. Scrolling down a little further, you find a search feature, and just below that, events divided into categories (airport/aviation, arson/fire, biological incidents, threats, bomb threats, chemical events, etc.)

The one drawback I have is that every now and then as the maps and incidents refresh, the program hangs up for a matter of seconds to a minute. It clears up faster if you just sit there and do nothing, but I am not good at sitting and doing nothing.

The map is worth a slot on your favorite places list, just for it’s astonishing relevance. Today, for example, in Kuwait, it says:

Kuwait increases security alert

“Officials said authorities did not rule out the prospect that Al Qaida insurgents from Iraq would seek to infiltrate Kuwait and conduct attacks during Hala.”

During HALA????? Strike the desperate bargain and entertainment seekers in Kuwait? We’re that dangerous???

On Wcities.com, HALA is described thus:

“Tourists flock to Kuwait during the period of Hala February. This month-long shopping festival celebrates the beauty of the spring season in the majestic deserts. Whether you come to enjoy the lush springtime greenery and animal life or to purchase items like spices, jewels and ornaments at great discounts, Hala February has it all. The city comes alive with its annual parade, cultural celebrations, entertainment and various organized events. Experience the true, warm Arabian welcome and make your stay a fun-filled experience.”

I don’t think life gets any sweeter than February in Kuwait, but I have a real hard time buying into tourists flocking here for the shopping experience. And a harder time imagining Al Qaeda crazies targeting bargain-crazed shoppers.

February 19, 2007 Posted by | Adventure, Counter-terrorism, Cross Cultural, ExPat Life, Geography / Maps, Kuwait, Living Conditions, Middle East, News, Political Issues, Shopping, Social Issues | 3 Comments