Americans Sing for the Liberation of Kuwait
My sweet Kuwait friend sent me this today. It made me cry.
We all have memories of the invasion. I remember it well. We had just moved to Tampa, AdventureMan was working with CENTCOM. He had just brought his very old grandmother to visit with us, and the next day, Iraq invaded, and his grandmother and I didn’t see him again!
We have had a long history with Kuwait, longer than our time living there. Kuwait matters to us. This song makes me cry; the effects of this invasion linger on, resonating and affecting so many lives:
New Cat in Town
“It’s like bringing a new cat into the house,” I tell people when they ask about how I move so often, and how I have learned to survive, “You keep a new cat in a separate room while the other cat(s) get used to their smell, then you allow a little interaction, then a little more and it all works out. One cat may never warm up to a new cat, another cat will welcome it immediately.”
I’ve been that new cat. You walk carefully. You try to figure out how things work. You sort of walk around the edges of things. Occasionally, there will be a cat that doesn’t like me. I try to stay out of her way.
So on my way to church on Sunday, I was thinking about this move, and about how people and communities have rules they don’t even know they have. Like in Kuwait, I learned, when you make a condolence call, you are supposed to dress very simply and wear no make up. You keep your voice low, you stay only a certain amount of time. These rules aren’t written anywhere because, well, everyone who matters pretty much knows what they are . . .
You don’t think about going through cross-cultural experiences in your own country, but every community has its own uniqueness, its own differences.
I think about my home town of Edmonds, WA, where you never NEVER cross the street if the light is red, even if there are no cars visible for miles. It just isn’t done.
Even going to church can be a mine field. You would think that it would be a safe place, all these people of God, people of good will, gathered together. You would think that until you happened to sit by mistake in someone else’s place, a place they have sat every Sunday for forty years. Some people might handle it with grace, another might handle it with spite and malice.
There might be local customs I don’t know, like you don’t wear earrings during Lent (I made that up; it isn’t a rule, it is just an example of the kinds of things that can become custom) or you don’t park in this spot because Old Miss Rickety needs to park there. Every church passes the peace differently; even the liturgy, done in every church, has its quirks from congregation to congregation. Like the new cat, I kind of creep in to church quietly, look for an inconspicuous place, do my worship thing and leave quietly.
They need to get used to my smell, LLLOOLLLL. 🙂
Fun Packed Thursday
Who knew?
Who knew when we got up this morning what kind of day we would have? Our sweet daughter in law has been up most of the night with our sweet grandson, who is a little confused about day and night and other things. He was also a little bit jaundiced, so we wanted to take him in to the pediatrician, and at the same time, AdventureMan and I needed to get a H1N1 shot (Swine flu vaccine) which is recommended for all people in contact with precious new little babies.
We were confronted with the worlds “easiest” car seat, and trying to get the base installed. After a couple phone calls (and a rescheduling of our appointment) we got the car seat firmly established, and discovered little Grandson LOVES sleeping in his car seat. Who knew?
Our good friend and realtor lady comes by after lunch to help us write up two contracts – one buying, one selling – and it took hours, with three people in three different phone conversations at one time getting it all glued together.
During all this, our son gets a text message: the government offices in Pensacola will all be closed tomorrow for a SNOW day. A snow day in Pensacola! Pensacola, FLORIDA. LLOOLLLL!
Now, it is late afternoon, AdventureMan is back with little grandson, son and daughter in law are trying to get a little sleep – ah! remember those days of early parenthood? The effects of sleep deprivation?
We feel so blessed to be here at this time, to be able to help our son and his wife.
I was telling my daughter in law about how it works in Qatar, and how it works in some cases still, in Kuwait. When a woman has a baby, her husband takes her to the hospital, but he is not allowed in labor and delivery. If a woman has someone with her, it might be her Mom, or her sisters, or an aunt. She is expected to be very vocal, and the L&D ward is noisy with women vocalizing their “discomfort.”
The baby is born, and all the women’s family and friends visit. A family often brings big tankards of tea and coffee to the hospital, and little cups, to serve to all the visitors. A new mother can entertain, literally, dozens or even hundreds of visitors, because a hospital visit is expected.
When it comes time to go home, the woman and baby go to her parent’s home, where they take care of her and the baby for forty days. The husband visits, and he and his wife can play with the baby but the woman stays in bed most of the time while her family takes care of her and the baby. At the end of the forty days, the wife and baby go back home with her husband.
We agreed, that is a great way of doing things. A new Mother needs a lot of help. A new baby is kind of a shock; you can’t really tell anyone ahead of time what it is like to bring your first baby home.
It’s been a long day – and it isn’t even over.
Life Intrudes
Yes, I am sorry. I left you with no indication that I wouldn’t be able to blog for a while, but – as it does for you – life intrudes. AdventureMan and I are on a GREAT adventure, a baby was born, and thus we became Grandma and Grandpa! We didn’t intend to be here for the birth, but babies have their own schedules, and we got here in time to spend time with our son and his wife AND to be able to see our new grandson before he was even an hour old.
Who ever thinks the thrills in life are over once you hit ‘grown-up’ is SO wrong. Life just keeps getting better and better, and is full of thrills – if you have the eyes to see, and the ears to hear, and the heart to know a miracle when you see one.
Every new baby is a miracle. We can’t make them happen – or not happen – by wishing. Babies, each and every one, are a miracle.
Photos? This was a mixed up trip. We have been on the run ever since we hit the ground. I have photos, but I left my card-reader in Doha. As soon as I can hit a store, I will show you a photo of the newest prince. 😉
Thanks for your patience with me.
First Things First
“I have some WONDERFUL news for you!” I gushed to AdventureMan when he picked up the call, “I found a third of the last fruitcake in the refrigerator!” I knew he thought he has finished off the fruit cake and that we didn’t have any more.
Pause. Pause. Pause.
“Hello? Hello? Are you there, AdventureMan.”
AdventureMan comes on, his work-a-day brisk, official self.
“When you start a conversation with ‘I have some wonderful news for you'” he says, “the next words out of your mouth really need to be that I am a grandfather.”
LLLLLLOOOOOLLLLLL.
I can’t make that happen any faster than it is going to happen. Baby grandson is now almost a week overdue, and we are waiting, waiting, waiting for him to show up. This is an eagerly awaited arrival.
I guess he is also happy about the fruitcake, but he really wants a grandson! 🙂
Mac and Cheese Weather
I was visiting my sister, and our children were all very small. It was a cold day, a very very cold, snowy, icy day in Iowa and I told the kids I would make macaroni and cheese like my Mom used to make.
Their eyes got big and round and all day they went around saying “she’s making Macaroni and Cheese like Mom used to make!”
When I finally dished it out – there was utter silence as they stared at the macaroni and cheese – made from real macaroni and REAL CHEESE in a real, home made sauce!
They didn’t look delighted. They looked horrified, and like they didn’t want to embarrass me, but something was terribly wrong.
My sister started laughing.
“I think they all expected it to be orange,” she said, and I started laughing too – orange is also what my son grew up on, it was so quick and easy.
Mom’s Mac and Cheese was not a big hit.
But with the semi-chilly weather of January, I found this fabulous recipe for Macaroni and Cheese that sounds like it greatly ups the taste factor. I found it on allrecipes.com, one of my favorite recipe websites and it is called Kicked up Macaroni and Cheese:
Kicked Up Macaroni and Cheese
1 1/2 cups rotelle pasta
4 tablespoons butter, divided
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
3 cups whole milk
1 teaspoon dry mustard
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground white pepper
3 teaspoons hot pepper sauce
1 cup shredded pepperjack cheese
1 1/2 cups shredded sharp Cheddar cheese
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1/3 cup dry bread crumbs
2 teaspoons chili powder
Directions
Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).
Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Add pasta and cook for 8 to 10 minutes or until al dente; drain.
In a large saucepan over medium heat, melt 2 tablespoons butter. Whisk in flour and cook, stirring, 1 minute. A little at a time, whisk in milk, mustard, salt, pepper and hot sauce. Bring to a gentle boil, stirring constantly. Boil 1 minute, then remove from heat and whisk in pepperjack, Cheddar and Parmesan until smooth. Stir in cooked pasta and pour into shallow 2 quart baking dish.
Melt remaining 2 tablespoons butter. Stir in bread crumbs and chili powder. Sprinkle over macaroni mixture.
Bake in preheated oven 30 minutes. Let stand 10 minutes before serving.
Gotta go now. My tummy started rumbling when I read the recipe!
The Snowflake Man
From a wonderful website on Parenting, iMom, full of ideas, comes this lovely video on a man who photographed snowflakes:
Snowflake Man from Family First on Vimeo.
With thanks to my wonderful daughter-in-law, EnviroGirl, for the reference. 🙂
Where to Start a Difficult Conversation?
“Mom,” my son started out, “I have some bad news.”
My heart sank. They are expecting a baby in late January. Please Lord, let this baby be OK.
He starts into a long story, which has to do with an old friend who lost a job, who is staying with them temporarily, who has been very helpful, and on and on and on; I live in a family where nuances are important, and details help understand the conclusions, but it is hard to hold your breath that long!
Then he gets to the point. While he and his wife were at work, the friend was in the house recovering from jet-lag and it started raining hard. His friend thought he heard drips in the attic, and upon exploration, they discovered a small leak in the roof. He will call the contractor we work with, but he wanted me to know.
Bad news?
“Son!” I said, laughing, “when you start a sentence with ‘I have bad news,’ it needs to be followed immediately with ‘I am OK, my wife is OK and the baby is OK’ so I don’t have a heart attack!”
We both laughed. He said “yeh, I thought about that about halfway through the explanation, but I didn’t want to break the train of thought.”
When you have bad news, get it out on the table. Start with “I have bad news, (fill in the blank.)” Then go into the background, and the proposed solutions. My son did everything right, except for the part about I was scared for him and his wife and the baby.
On the other hand, after all that build-up, I was so happy that it seemed like such a small problem, compared to the possibilities.
My husband tells a joke, the point of which is to build up gently to bad news. Not to start with “the cat is dead” but to start with “the cat was on the roof . . . ” The day came when I had to call him with some very bad news, and because I am wired to laugh in the face of the worst things that can happen (it is a sort of hysterical reaction, I have to work hard to control myself at funerals and weddings, I cry at weddings and want to laugh at funerals. The big things are just too overwhelming for me so I react inappropriately. Our family joke is that “inappropriate” is the grown-up word for “stupid”) I had a very hard time not starting off with “the cat was on the roof,” which would have been totally inappropriate but I was overwhelmed, knew I needed to let him know immediately, and you think when you get to be a grown-up you will have all the answers, but we don’t. We really don’t. Like you, we do the best we can.
What I really like was that when our son gave us the bad news, he also had a proposal for how to handle it. Wooo HOOO.
Then he told us they are planning their Halloween costumes. First, because his wife is now very visibly pregnant, they were looking for a cheap doll to take apart and glue some appendages coming out of her little basketball-tummy, but now they are looking for tentacles, a la “Alien”. LLLLOOOOLLLLL! I thought it would be the perfect occasion to wear her wedding dress, our son could wear a tuxedo and the friend could go as the angry-Papa, carrying a shotgun. Yes, we are a little weird in our family, but we have a great time.
Recent Comments
ExpatAlien on What Country am I Living … intlxpatr on Yellowstone: Old Faithful to C… Michelle on Yellowstone: Old Faithful to C… Cathy on No Grown-Ups in Charge intlxpatr on Waiting for Snow Wikipedia Donate Button
Amazina
Early Voting in Florida
Here There and Everywhere 