Here There and Everywhere

Expat wanderer

Give to Those Who Ask

Yesterday’s Lectionary readings were rich with wise instructions for navigating complicated situations.

First in Doha, then in Kuwait, and now, too, in Pensacola, we encounter beggers. In Doha, it could be women with babies, kicked out of their homes, or a begger in the middle of the street with a transfusion bag full of blood with an introvenous feed tube, begging for enough money to have the operation he needed for his kidneys (I later learned they were fake). In Kuwait, we had beggers who knew us, and who waited outside our favorite restaurants and we would give them our take-away boxes. In Pensacola, it is the homeless, often military veterans with mental health issues, families without homes, elderly men and women abandoned by the side of the road.

Many treat these people with scorn, insisting they are living like kings on what they scrounge from gullible givers. Some act with compassion, passing out bottles of water and fresh made sandwiches, or passing small bills to those at the corners. Discussion varies little about the “problem;” what is the right thing to do?

Living in the Middle East, I was the recipient myself of kind charity, stuck by the side of the road with a broken car, being given bottles of cold water while a kind stranger changed my flat tire, or a neighbor brought me a platter of leg of lamb and mensaf on an Eid holiday. People invited us into their homes and families. People were kind as I struggled to find words, and helped me understand customs which were strange to me. Charity comes with many faces.

If we are who we claim to be – People of the Book, believers – the answer is clear in this reading from Matthew:

Matthew 5:38-48

38 ‘You have heard that it was said, “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.” 39But I say to you, Do not resist an evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also; 40and if anyone wants to sue you and take your coat, give your cloak as well; 41and if anyone forces you to go one mile, go also the second mile. 42Give to everyone who begs from you, and do not refuse anyone who wants to borrow from you.

43 ‘You have heard that it was said, “You shall love your neighbour and hate your enemy.” 44But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. 46For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax-collectors do the same? 47And if you greet only your brothers and sisters,* what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

May 3, 2026 Posted by | Biography, Character, Charity, Civility, Community, Cross Cultural, Doha, ExPat Life, Faith, Interconnected, Kuwait, Lectionary Readings, Living Conditions, Pensacola, Tunisia | 1 Comment

The Things That Matter

Moving to Kuwait was huge, with so many adjustments. As we hunted for a house, we were shown palatial living spaces. One had a big pool as you entered the house – inside the house. One house had an elevator to the three floors. We were shown so many truly amazing places to live.

It was just me, AdventureMan, and our cat named Pete. My husband worked hard. Those houses were just too big for me, and the quieter life I wanted to live, and how would I find Pete hidden in one of those huge houses?

We chose an apartment high on the 10th floor in Fintas, overlooking a beach park, overlooking a wild street, with a 180 degree view of the Arabian/Persian Gulf. There really was never a question. That view took my breath away, and gave me hours of pleasure, watching dhows, watching fishermen, watching people in the park. I called it my Eyrie.

It also gave me a glorious daily sunrise. Every sunrise was different and glorious.

Later, we were able to buy exactly the house I wanted in Pensacola – a house we had owned before, with a view of the Bayou. As a great favor to me, AdventureMan, who never wanted to move again, agreed to move, and together we watch the sun set over the Bayou. Every night we have a sunset. Every night, a different sunset, a different angle, a different color, a different mood. I am grateful for the richness that fills my life every evening when we watch the sun set, and my heart fills with awe.

April 25, 2026 Posted by | Aging, Beauty, Biography, ExPat Life, Faith, Family Issues, Sunsets, Values | Leave a comment

Stranger in a Strange Land: High School

Today’s writing prompt is irresistible: Something you learned in High School.

I left my US High School mid-year to live in Germany, and to go to a US Department of Defense High School.

I learned that not everyone thinks the same way I think.

I learned that sometimes the way I think might even be wrong, or incomplete.

I learned that even within our own culture, there may be varieties of cultures and many different ways to do a thing, and that none is truly the “right” way, that there may be many right ways.

I learned to lean back and observe, before I ventured an opinion.

I learned to listen when someone said I was wrong. I didn’t have to agree, but it helped to get this other perspective (no matter how mistaken it might have been, LOL)

After high school, I lived a nomadic life, back and forth to university, then marrying a military man and being on the move for the next forty years. Some of my best friends to this day are friends I made during those high school years, people who have led very different lives, but who still share so much in common because of our uncommon heritage and our diverse views. Learning that kind of flexibility eased the way in later life, living in different cultures in Germany, in Africa and in the Middle East and finally, in the Deep South. I’m still learning! 🙏😄🙏

April 11, 2026 Posted by | Aging, Alaska, Biography, Civility, Community, Cross Cultural, ExPat Life, Friends & Friendship, Germany, Kuwait, Living Conditions, Middle East, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Stranger in a Strange Land, Tunisia | | Leave a comment

Oscar Romero, Patron Saint of The Americas and El Salvador

My friends, when you hear that the immigrants seeking a new life in our country are rapists, thieves, the mentally ill and very bad people, please think of Oscar Romero, and all those who have fought the evil forces of thuggery and dictatorship to find a life of freedom for themselves, and for their families, especially, hope for their children.

I urge you to read a much criticized book, American Dirt, by Jeanine Cummins. Here is what Wikipedia says. My experience was that the struggles exposed in American Dirt are very typical of people seeking to escape the violence of their societies.

American Dirt is a 2020 novel by American author Jeanine Cummins, published by Flatiron Books. The book is about a Mexican bookseller who is forced to flee as an undocumented immigrant to the United States, along with her son, after her journalist husband exposes a local drug kingpin.

ÓSCAR ROMERO

ARCHBISHOP OF SAN SALVADOR, AND THE MARTYRS OF EL SALVADOR 

(24 March 1980)

Óscar Arnulfo Romero y Galdámez (August 15, 1917 – March 24, 1980), commonly known as Monseñor Romero, was a priest of the Roman Catholic Church in El Salvador. He later became prelate archbishop of San Salvador.

As an archbishop, he witnessed numerous violations of human rights and began a ministry speaking out on behalf of the poor and victims of the country’s civil war. His brand of political activism was denounced by the hierarchy of the Roman Catholic Church and the government of El Salvador. In 1980, he was assassinated by gunshot while consecrating the Eucharist during mass. His death finally provoked international outcry for human rights reform in El Salvador.

In 1997, a cause for beatification and canonization into sainthood was opened for Romero and Pope John Paul II bestowed upon him the title of Servant of God. Pope Francis canonized Romero as a saint on 14 October 2018. He is considered the unofficial patron saint of the Americas and El Salvador and is often referred to as “San Romero” in El Salvador. Outside of Catholicism Romero is honored by other religious denominations of Christendom, like the Church of England through its Common Worship. He is one of the ten 20th-century martyrs from across the world who are depicted in statues above the Great West Door of Westminster Abbey, London.

from Wikipedia

Also commemorated on this day are three Maryknoll nuns and a woman lay missionary killed by a Salvadoran army death squad on 2 Dec, 1980, and additionally six Jesuits, their housekeeper and her daughter, who were also murdered by the Salvadoran army on 16 Nov. 1989.

March 24, 2026 Posted by | Biography, Books, corruption, Cross Cultural, Faith, Family Issues, Interconnected, Lectionary Readings, Living Conditions, Political Issues, Quality of Life Issues | Leave a comment

Small Groups and the Seven Deadly Sins

One of the great calming forces in my life is meeting with my small groups. One is a monthly book club; we are not all of the same mind; we bring different perceptions, and it is good for us. New doors open, we see things differently. Yesterday, I was confronted by a woman who reminded me that when she was reviewing a book she loved, and wondered why it was not popular, there was a silence. And then I said “Well, it was poorly written.” I expected a rebuke, but she said that having given it some thought, now she agrees. Whew!

(I hate confrontation. And I also have a big problem with lying. I believe lying hurts the person receiving the lie, and it hurts the liar. I think lies are seeds that grow wildly, creating a thicket of evil. Unintended consequences.)

My other small group doesn’t meet all the time, just for studies two or three times a year. Small group are where real connections are made, so the church makes an effort to help us connect with one another. This small group has met at the same time with the same leader for several years. It has several people who have been with this group for a long time. New people come once or twice and are never seen again, and some come and settle in for the long haul. We are diverse, from all segments of the church, and we have a wonderful gift in common. As we study and apply scripture, we laugh at ourselves. On rare occasions, we cry with one another. It is a band of buddies, and our buddies keep us safe in life.

Last night we were working on Envy. It was fascinating, and I learned something new. There is a technical difference between jealousy and envy. Jealousy is having something/someone and being afraid of losing what you have. Envy is wanting something – or something better than – someone else has, or something you lack. That’s food for thought for the rest of the week.

As a group, we thought the illustration for Envy was fabulous. One member asked to look at all the eyes, all green, and notice how cold envy is. Another said that Envy is the only deadly sin that gives no pleasure. We only have six weeks; it makes me laugh to know that the deadly sin of Lust is optional.

During an epoch when I find events stirring in me emotional turbulence, I leave these groups feeling at peace, and I sleep well at night. The world goes on. We find our people. They help us shoulder our burdens and march alongside us. Thanks be to God.

March 5, 2026 Posted by | Biography, Community, EPIC Book Club, Faith, Friends & Friendship, Humor, Lent, Lies, Quality of Life Issues, Ramadan, Relationships, Spiritual, Values | Leave a comment

Anna Julia Haywood Cooper

Today the church honors Anna Julia Haywood Cooper, an extraordinary woman who prevailed against prejudice.

ANNA JULIA HAYWOOD COOPER
EDUCATOR 
(1964)


Anna Julia Haywood Cooper (August 10, c1859- February 27, 1964). Educator, advocate and scholar. Born in Raleigh, North Carolina to an enslaved woman and a white man, presumably her mother’s master, Anna Julia was an academically gifted child and received a scholarship to attend St. Augustine Normal School and Collegiate Institute, a school founded by the Episcopal Church to educate African-American teachers and clergy. There she began her membership in the Episcopal Church. After forcing her way into a Greek class designed for male theology students, Anna Julia later married the instructor, George A.C. Cooper, the second African-American ordained to the Episcopal priesthood in North Carolina.

After her husband’s death in 1879, Cooper received degrees in mathematics from Oberlin College, and was made principal of the only African American high school in Washington D.C.. She was denied reappointment in 1906 because she refused to lower her educational standards.

Throughout her career, Cooper emphasized the importance of education to the future of African Americans, and was critical of the lack of support they received from the church. An advocate for African-American women, Cooper assisted in organizing the Colored Women’s League and the first Colored Settlement House in Washington, D.C. She wrote and spoke widely on issues of race and gender, and took an active role in national and international organizations founded to advance African Americans. 

At the age of fifty-five she adopted the five children of her nephew. In 1925, Cooper became the fourth African-American woman to complete a Ph.D degree, granted from the Sorbonne when she was sixty-five years old. From 1930-1942, Cooper served as president of Frelinghuysen University. 
from the Episcopal Women’s History Project

February 28, 2026 Posted by | Biography, Character, Cultural, Faith, History, Social Issues, Spiritual, Women's Issues | Leave a comment

Pensacola New Year’s Sunset over the Bayou

We moved to this house at the beginning of COVID. You wouldn’t think it was a great time to go house hunting or to move, but it worked for us. Almost every day, I thank my husband for moving here (he had said “No more moves!” but COVID made things different.) Almost every day is a sunset – not unlike this one, but no two are identical. Every day. It never fails to thrill my heart. Happy New Year!

January 2, 2026 Posted by | Beauty, Biography, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Florida, Living Conditions, Pensacola, Sunsets | Leave a comment

Diwali: A Light Sparkles in Dark Times

Today, Labor Day, when dark events are taking place in our country, shutting down the light of liberty and democracy, we got an unexpected invitation – to a Diwali party, coming up in a couple months.

We are so honored. And we know Diwali; we were living in Al Fardan 1, in Doha, Qatar, when an Indian neighbor invited all the residents of Al Fardan to come over for Diwali. We didn’t know what Diwali was, and our internet was dial-up and irregular, but we asked around and were told, with big smiles, to go and find out.

The night of Diwali came, and we walked to our neighbor’s house, along with many of our Al Fardan neighbors. We could see it long before we arrived – thousands of candles set out in patterns in the yard, lining the sidewalk, leading us inside, to more lights and a feast of sweets, platters of sweets, all illuminated by gleaming candlelight.

Such open-hearted hospitality. Such generous sharing. No one was excluded; everyone was welcome, and there was plenty for everyone.

Our neighbors’ beliefs were different from ours, and yet, I believe all such generosity, freely given, springs from the same spirit.

We can’t wait for this upcoming Diwali.

September 1, 2025 Posted by | Adventure, Arts & Handicrafts, Beauty, Biography, Civility, Community, Cross Cultural, Cultural, Doha, ExPat Life, Faith, Friends & Friendship, Living Conditions, Qatar, Quality of Life Issues, Spiritual | , , | Leave a comment

When the News is Personal

MARTYRS OF THE SUDANS 

(16 May 1983)

Photo From the Episcopal News Service

The Christian bishops, chiefs, commanders, clergy and people of Sudan declared, on May 16, 1983, that they would not abandon God as God had revealed himself to them under threat of Shariah Law imposed by the fundamentalist Islamic government in Khartoum. Until a peace treaty was signed on January 9, 2005, the Episcopal Church of the Province of the Sudan suffered from persecution and devastation through twenty-two years of civil war. Two and a half million people were killed, half of whom were members of this church. Many clergy and lay leaders were singled out because of their religious leadership in their communities. No buildings, including churches and schools, are left standing in an area the size of Alaska. Four million people are internally displaced, and a million are scattered around Africa and beyond in the Sudanese Diaspora. Twenty-two of the twenty-four dioceses exist in exile in Uganda or Kenya, and the majority of the clergy are unpaid. Only 5% of the population of Southern Sudan was Christian in 1983. Today over 85% of that region of six million is now mostly Episcopalian or Roman Catholic. A faith rooted deeply in the mercy of God has renewed their spirits through out the years of strife and sorrow. 

From the proposal before the 75th General Convention

We have a friend in South Sudan, Manyan Debid Mayer. We met him with a delegation of African Journalists here in Pensacola looking at Freedom of the Press with Gulf Coast Diplomacy. He came to our house, with two other African delegates, shortly before Christmas, and we had a lovely and memorable evening together sharing our stories.

Manyan Debid told us about his childhood, as the Janjaweed attacked in Sudan, and how very suddenly, often in the middle of the night, an entire village would have to evacuate, carrying only what they could carry on their backs. It was chaotic, terrifying – and deadly. Villages would be burned and razed to the ground.

The villagers would run towards the missions in Uganda for safety. Sometimes families got separated. The children found shelter, and care, at the missions while they waited to be reunited with their desperate parents. At the missions, the priests would teach the children the basics, using a stick, and drawing letters, shapes and numbers on the ground. Manyan Debid, now a journalist, got his start with those very basic lessons at the mission churches.

We Americans know so little. Few even know where South Sudan is, or that it is a separate nation from Sudan, one of the newest nations in the world.

I got caught in a comical situation as I tried to wire funds to Manyan Debid once during continued difficulties in South Sudan. I went to my bank and asked them to wire x amount of money to my friend. They looked at me oddly. They called the bank manager, and had hushed conversations. The manager came in and interrogated me very gently, asking how I know this person, did he contact me over the internet, how often did he ask me for money, questions that were none of his business – except, as it turns out, it was. They thought I was an old lady being scammed by some internet scammer. Did I even know, they asked me, that Sudan was on the restricted countries list?

I explained equally gently and firmly that South Sudan is a separate country from Sudan, and how I knew this man, how we had met in Pensacola through a visit arranged by the Department of State, how he had been a guest in my house and that we had corresponded as friends, on Facebook for years. They didn’t believe me. They didn’t believe there was a separate country called South Sudan. At the end, I finally had to tell them it was MY money, and that I could send him this amount and even if it were a scammer, it would not hurt me. Very reluctantly, they wired the funds to my friend.

Manyan Debid and I are still in touch. Today, he is a working journalist in South Sudan, still bravely facing the forces who would like to take South Sudan, and all its oil wealth, and destroy the existence of South Sudan.

There are still martyrs in South Sudan. And most Americans don’t even know South Sudan exists.

May 16, 2025 Posted by | Africa, Aging, Biography, Bureaucracy, Cross Cultural, Cultural, Customer Service, Dharfur, ExPat Life, Financial Issues, South Sudan, Sudan | Leave a comment

Morocco Malta and the Med: Tunisian Interlude

We aren’t just sailing away from Malta. We are sailing toward a part of our history, and please pardon that these photos are not that great; I don’t even know what kind of camera we were using and they are now very old.

We lived in Tunis for two years, courtesy of the US Government, wanting us to be linguistically and culturally more fluent. For me, it was scary at first – coming from Monterey, CA and entering into what seemed to be a very alien culture.

It began a great leap in opening our visions to other ways of thinking.

Below is our old villa – I am showing you this because when we went to visit it, it looked entirely different.

Our son went to a local Pre-School, Joie de Vivre, the Joy of Life 😊. This is his class photo.

AdventureMan on our back porch, where we often ate. We only had air conditioning in our bedrooms. The candelabras (there were two) were made for us in Binzerte.

My French teacher, Madame Huguette Curie invited us into her culture; she lived on Avenue Habib Bourgiba in a palatial apartment and had this seaside cottage where we could swim and picnic together. She was beautiful and cultured, and helped us learn about and love our time in Tunisia.

My parents came to visit, and we had a wonderful time showing them Tunisia. This was at the Ampitheatre in El Jem.

We camped in desolate areas – now built up – in our Volkswagon Bus.

Once a year, there was a Bedouin festival in Douz (where much of the original Star Wars was filmed.) We camped there, too, and have never been colder in our lives than in the Tunisian desert in late November.

The Camel Market in Nabuel was a great weekend favorite.

So my friends, on! on! We are on our way back to Tunis, 46 years later.

January 14, 2025 Posted by | Adventure, Africa, Aging, Arts & Handicrafts, Beauty, Biography, Cross Cultural, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Living Conditions, Travel, Tunisia | Leave a comment