Selfish Adults Damage Childhood
In a stunning and highly controversial report recently published in Britain, concludes that children’s lives in Britain have become “more difficult than in the past”, adding that “more young people are anxious and troubled”. Part of the controversy stems from the conclusions that part of what hurts children are working mothers, and fathers who leave their families.
Selfish adults ‘damage childhood’
By Mark Easton
BBC News Home Editor
The report says children’s lives are “more difficult than in the past”
The aggressive pursuit of personal success by adults is now the greatest threat to British children, a major independent report on childhood says.
It calls for a sea-change in social attitudes and policies to counter the damage done to children by society.
Family break-up, unprincipled advertising, too much competition in education and income inequality are mentioned as big contributing factors.
A panel of independent experts carried out the study over three years.
. . . . . . “Children with separate, single or step parents are 50% more likely to fail at school, have low esteem, be unpopular with other children and have behavioural difficulties, anxiety or depression,” it argues.
“Child-rearing is one of the most challenging tasks in life and ideally it requires two people,” the report concludes.
It also suggests that having many more working mothers has contributed to the damage done to children.
You can read the entire report on BBC News by clicking here.
This study is sure to cause a lot of dinner table conversations around the world – and Kuwait is no exception. Go read the report, so you can discuss it knowledgeably. 😉
I worked, and I wanted to work, while child rearing, but there was a lot of guilt attached. I needed to work, not so much for the money as for the stimulation, and I have a lot of empathy for mothers who find themselves in the same circumstances. I was really lucky – I was able to find professional positions with part time hours my entire working life, until it was no longer a consideration. I honestly don’t know that I would have been a better mother staying home. And yet, here I am years later, stunned and dismayed when I read this report, and still wondering if I was too selfish. The report says working mothers are selfish. The report says it really takes two parents to raise a happy child. The report says men shouldn’t leave their families. There enough guilt to go around to everyone. 😦
I’m interested in what you have to say; I ask only that you go read the article first.
Obama’s Inaugural Address (Complete)
The New York Times published a complete transcription of Obama’s Inaugural address. He wrote most of it himself. Did you notice, he delivered it without looking at his notes? You can watch him give the speech by clicking on the blue type above. It isn’t too long.
Barack Obama’s Inaugural Address
Published: January 20, 2009
Following is the transcript of President Barack Obama’s Inaugural Address, as transcribed by CQ Transcriptions:
PRESIDENT BARACK Thank you. Thank you.
CROWD: Obama! Obama! Obama! Obama!
My fellow citizens: I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors.
I thank President Bush for his service to our nation…
(APPLAUSE)
… as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.
Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath.
The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because We the People have remained faithful to the ideals of our forbearers, and true to our founding documents.
So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.
That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age.
Homes have been lost, jobs shed, businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly, our schools fail too many, and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.
These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable, but no less profound, is a sapping of confidence across our land; a nagging fear that America’s decline is inevitable, that the next generation must lower its sights.
Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real, they are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this America: They will be met.
(APPLAUSE)
On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.
On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn-out dogmas that for far too long have strangled our politics.
We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.
(APPLAUSE)
In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less.
It has not been the path for the faint-hearted, for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame.
Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things — some celebrated, but more often men and women obscure in their labor — who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.
For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life. For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West, endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.
For us, they fought and died in places Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn.
Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.
This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions — that time has surely passed.
Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.
(APPLAUSE)
For everywhere we look, there is work to be done.
The state of our economy calls for action: bold and swift. And we will act not only to create new jobs but to lay a new foundation for growth.
We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together.
We will restore science to its rightful place and wield technology’s wonders to raise health care’s quality…
(APPLAUSE)
… and lower its costs.
We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age.
All this we can do. All this we will do.
Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions, who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short, for they have forgotten what this country has already done, what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose and necessity to courage.
What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them, that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long, no longer apply.
The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works, whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified.
Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end.
And those of us who manage the public’s dollars will be held to account, to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day, because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.
Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched.
But this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control. The nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous.
The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on the ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart — not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.
(APPLAUSE)
As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals.
Our founding fathers faced with perils that we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations.
Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience’s sake.
And so, to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and we are ready to lead once more.
(APPLAUSE)
Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with the sturdy alliances and enduring convictions.
They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use. Our security emanates from the justness of our cause; the force of our example; the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.
We are the keepers of this legacy, guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort, even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We’ll begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people and forge a hard- earned peace in Afghanistan.
With old friends and former foes, we’ll work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat and roll back the specter of a warming planet.
We will not apologize for our way of life nor will we waver in its defense.
And for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that, “Our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken. You cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.”
(APPLAUSE)
For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness.
We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus, and nonbelievers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth.
And because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.
To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect.
To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict or blame their society’s ills on the West, know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy.
To those…
(APPLAUSE)
To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history, but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.
(APPLAUSE)
To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds.
And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to the suffering outside our borders, nor can we consume the world’s resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.
As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages.
We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service: a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves.
And yet, at this moment, a moment that will define a generation, it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.
For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies.
It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break; the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours.
It is the firefighter’s courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent’s willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.
Our challenges may be new, the instruments with which we meet them may be new, but those values upon which our success depends, honesty and hard work, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old.
These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history.
What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility — a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character than giving our all to a difficult task.
This is the price and the promise of citizenship.
This is the source of our confidence: the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.
This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed, why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall. And why a man whose father less than 60 years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.
(APPLAUSE)
So let us mark this day in remembrance of who we are and how far we have traveled.
In the year of America’s birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by nine campfires on the shores of an icy river.
The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood.
At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:
“Let it be told to the future world that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive, that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet it.”
America, in the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words; with hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come; let it be said by our children’s children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God’s grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.
Thank you. God bless you.
(APPLAUSE)
And God bless the United States of America.
(APPLAUSE)
A New Dawn (and Glimpses from the Inauguration)
“Are you able to watch the inauguration from work?” I type an IM to my son.
“Nah, I’ll have to catch some of it later,” he types back. He has victims to interview and briefs to prepare – it’s a normal day, not a holiday in his state.
I am glued to the screen. AdventureMan comes home and joins me, just in time for the swearing in and Inaugural address. WOW. Our new President is inspirational. He doesn’t tell us it is going to be easy. He says we are all going to have to work hard to turn things around. He reminds us that together, united – we can do it. Wow.
AdventureMan said what was most exciting to him was that we are celebrating 200 years of peaceful transition of power. The pendulum has swung right and left and center, administrations have changed, and by the Grace of God, it has happened peacefully.
Taking the oath of office:
Crowds watching in Kenya:
Inaugural speech:
An estimated 1.4 million Americans stood hours to watch Obama become President in temperatures below freezing:
Singing the national anthem:
Signing his first documents as the US President:
What? You thought I forgot? Here is the new dawn in Kuwait – a pearly morning, another great day in Kuwait. Thanks for your patience. 🙂
Why I Love A-Word-A-Day
This is today’s entry from Anu Garg’s A Word A Day.
Wordsmith.org The Magic of Words
This week’s theme
Words from Obama
This week’s words
cohere
with Anu Garg
Tomorrow Barack Obama will become president of the US, and not a moment too soon. This week we’ll feature words from Obama, words from his books, speeches, and interviews.
Unlike most politicians, who hire ghostwriters, Obama writes his own books. He’s a gifted writer. Reading his words you can see his thought process. He’s not one who sees the globe in black and white. He has lived outside the US and has been exposed to other cultures. He realizes that just because someone has a different set of beliefs, just because someone looks different, doesn’t mean he’s wrong — sometimes there can be two ways to do something and both can be right.
Obama is to be commended for his accomplishments. We’ve come a long way in this country. But we still have far to go before we can call ourselves truly unbiased. Real progress will be when any capable person can have a fair chance at winning the highest office, even someone who happens to be, say, a black gay vegan atheist woman.
Anything is possible… but don’t hold your breath.
cohere
PRONUNCIATION:
(ko-HEER)
MEANING:
verb intr.: To be united; to work or hold together.
ETYMOLOGY:
From Latin cohaerere, from co- (together) + haerere (to stick).
USAGE:
“I learned to slip back and forth between my black and white worlds, understanding that each possessed its own language and customs and structures of meaning, convinced that with a bit of translation on my part the two worlds would eventually cohere.”
Barack Obama; Dreams From My Father; Times Books; 1995.
A THOUGHT FOR TODAY:
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. -Martin Luther King, Jr., civil-rights leader (1929-1968)
Here is what Anu Garg isn’t saying, and my guess is he hasn’t thought twice about it. He is an American. He was not born in America, he immigrated to America – as most of us did, meaning our forefathers and mothers came from Europe, from Africa, from Asia and from India and the Middle East and – and – and. As an immigrant, as an American, he is free to say what he wants. Free to be happy Obama is president, and at the same time free to say that the system is not yet free enough.
I also totally love it that his quote for today is from Martin Luther King, who we are celebrating in America, on this national holiday.
We don’t have to agree. I love it that he is passionate about his beliefs, and that he provides A-Word-A-Day as a public service, entirely free, every day sending a new word, defined and used in context, to subscribers in every nation in the world. I admire people like him, like the Rajab family here in Kuwait, like Andrew Carnegie who started most of the small town libraries in the United States, people who use what they have been given to give back to the world-at-large.
You can see A Word A Day leads my blogroll. You can subscribe by clicking on the blue type above. 🙂
Chinese Astrological Calculations
I’ve never really been sure what my Chinese birth year was. For a long time I thought I was one thing, then another long time I thought I was another, and it turns out it is more complicated than I thought. I am between a solar year and a lunar month – or was it a lunar year and a solar month?
Here is my picture:
I am like a white metal chicken.
Way more complicated than I knew!
If you would like to find out who you are according to Chinese astrology, there is a wonderful website where you enter your birthdate and they can tell you what you are – and who you should be friends with and who you should marry.
You can click on Chinese Fortune Calendar and find out all about yourself.
Fighting Pornography
For the last week, I have been beset by some of the filthiest spam I have seen in a long time. Most of it goes straight to spam, thanks to WordPress’s effective filters, but occasionally, one passes. I think there is a major effort going on to test the filters and see what can get through. It puts pressure on me to check the blog frequently and eliminate anything I see that is inappropriate.
Most of this spam takes you to pornographic sites. I hate porn. It degrades those who indulge. It gives people an unrealistic idea of what sex is all about. It infects normal relations with unrealistic images and expectations. And those images are engraved on your brain, spoiling what is good and beautiful, smearing it with what you have taken in on those sleazy websites.
I have said it before and I will say it again – those women and men are PAID. They are doing those things because they were PAID. The animals are doing it because they are forced – as are some of the humans. It is like prostitution – no, yours is NOT the biggest they have ever seen, they are saying that because you are PAYING them.
That is fantasy. If you get your head straight, reality is 100 times better than this degradation can ever be.
You have a choice. Please choose NOT to support these websites, which are trying to appeal to the very weakest parts of your character. These websites are not just a crime against women and children – they are a weapon against the goodness of your own character.
I am now spraying this blog against filth. You are warned.
Bu Yousef: Fancy a Date? Great Kuwait Market Magic Challenge
Woo HOO, Bu Yousef! This is one great photo! I can almost taste the date, but even better – I love the gleam on the vendor’s face! More, please, Bu Yousef!
Cat Nap
I had a lot going on today, including an event I need to prepare for tomorrow. As I was settling down to read a lot of material, I felt a little cold, and put on my heavy robe. Then the Qatteri Cat heard me and came in and snuggled up close and went to sleep. His slow, regular breathing, and his little cat-sleeping noises had its effect on me, too, and the next thing I knew, I was also sound asleep.
AdventureMan said “I hate to wake you, but I’m hungry” and I was glad he did. We went out for a quick bite which turned out to be not so quick, and I am growing increasingly uncomfortable at how unprepared I am going to be when he says “don’t you remember college? Isn’t there someplace on the internet you can go and get some ideas to put this together quickly?” and it’s like a lightbulb going on – oh yeh! There is this wonderful new way to gather information in a hurry. I can get other people’s ideas . . .
We used to use something called Cliff Notes, you could buy them in any university bookstore to fill in if you didn’t have time to read the book, or to guide you if you read it and didn’t understand it.
Now I am off to find the current day equivalent, to crib some notes off the internet since I am now WAAAYYY behind the curve.
Rape, Abduction and Sorcery
I’ve always loved reading the newspaper, but even more so in other countries, where things are seen differently. These two items are from the Arab Times
11 out of 30 youths held in rape of 2 Asian women
KUWAIT CITY : Police have arrested 11 Bedoun youths out of the thirty who had kidnapped two Asian women near a commercial complex in Jahra and sexually assaulted them for four days in a camp in Mutla’a area.
It was reported that the two victims managed to escape after the four-day ordeal and reported the incident to a night patrol team who informed the Jahra police.
The police then raided the camp and arrested the eleven suspects and referred them to North Jahra Police Station. A case was registered.
Sorceress held: Police have arrested an unidentified Iraqi sorceress and referred her to the concerned authorities, reports Al-Dar daily.
The arrest came following a complaint filed by an unidentified Kuwaiti man who told police the woman had cheated by selling him a magic charm for KD 230. He also told police he had been wearing the charm for three months and failed to get what he aspired for.
Acting on this information police set a trap for the sorceress and caught her in the act while selling a charm worth KD 300 to a police agent. Armed with a search and arrest warrant, police then raided the apartment and confiscated various kinds of tools used by the suspect in black magic.
During interrogations she admitted to the charge and said her clientele includes well-known personalities and female university students. She also said she has until now ‘earned’ KD 85,000 from her ‘work’.
It has also been reported many people, particularly those who believe in her power, intervened in vain to secure her release.
By Mezyad Al-Saeedi
Special to the Arab Times
First, I cannot imagine the horror of being abducted, held in a remote location, and raped by up to 30 different men. The worst fear, of course, is whether you will live through it. Some victims don’t. Wouldn’t you think the names of these young rapists would be published so that women could be protected from marrying them? Imagine, being married to a man who rapes women . . . it would be a little bit of hell on earth.
Secondly – the first guy spent over $800 on a charm and then waited three months for it to work. In the interest of full disclosure, I sure would like to know what the charm was supposed to do? The police officer who entrapped the sorceress was going to pay over $1000 for her magic. That she claims she has earned 85,000 KD per year – that is around $325,000, that’s some serious income for some sorcery.
They are very good at obtaining confessions in Kuwait.
I can’t remember the last time I heard of someone being arrested for sorcery in my home town. There are similar sorts, people who con the elderly, people who prey on the deepest fears and hopes of others, but rarely are they accused of anything but fraud and theft.
Lucky People Tend to Notice More
From today’s AOL News
The key to good luck may be a heightened sensitivity to your surroundings.
Richard Wiseman, a professor at the University of Hertfordshire, spent a decade studying people who had self-identified as either lucky or unlucky. He posits that lucky people, through their superior observational skills, consistently encounter seemingly chance opportunities.
In one experiment, Wiseman asked his subjects to count the photos in a newspaper. In the middle of the paper he placed a message that read “Tell the experimenter you have seen this and win 50 dollars.” The lucky people tended to notice this, but the unlucky — with their narrower focus — often missed it.
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