Here There and Everywhere

Expat wanderer

Saudi Woman Attacks Muttawa

I found this on AOL News

“People are fed up with these religious police, and now they have to pay the price for the humiliation they put people through for years and years,” she was quoted as saying. “This is just the beginning and there will be more resistance.”

(May 18) — An angry young Saudi Arabian woman has left her mark on a religious policeman who approached her for illegally socializing with an unmarried young man.

According to the Saudi daily Okaz, the woman strongly objected to the policeman’s interference and repeatedly punched him so hard that he ended up in the hospital with bruises to his face and body.

The couple, believed to be in their 20s, were strolling through an amusement park in the city of Al-Mubarraz when the policeman asked them to confirm their relationship to one another.

Hasan Jamali, AP
In Saudi Arabia, women aren’t allowed to drive or to appear in public without a male guardian.
For unknown reasons, the man collapsed while being questioned, and the woman jumped in with fists flying, Okaz reported, according to arabianbusiness.com.

No statement on the incident has so far been made by the religious police – formally titled the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice – or by the regular police, the Arab site and The Jerusalem Post reported.

If the unidentified woman is charged she could face a long prison term, as well as body lashes.

“To see resistance from a woman means a lot,” Wajiha Al-Huwaidar, a Saudi women’s rights activist, told The Media Line News Agency, The Post reported.

“People are fed up with these religious police, and now they have to pay the price for the humiliation they put people through for years and years,” she was quoted as saying. “This is just the beginning and there will be more resistance.”

“The media and the Internet have given people a lot of power and the freedom to express their anger,” she added. Whatever the religious police do ends up all over the Internet, she said, which gives them “a horrible reputation and gives people power to react.”

Under Saudi law, women are not allowed to drive, be seen in public without a male guardian and socialize with unrelated men.

A decision to open the country’s first co-educational university last year was strongly criticized by a senior Saudi cleric, who was then fired by King Abdullah, The Post reported.

May 18, 2010 Posted by | Bureaucracy, Character, Civility, Community, Crime, Cultural, Family Issues, Friends & Friendship, Living Conditions, Mating Behavior, Relationships, Saudi Arabia, Social Issues, Women's Issues | 9 Comments

How To Be a Southern Lady

You’d think moving back to your own country would be a piece of cake, wouldn’t you? We nomads know better. Young people who travel to other countries to go to school know better. Military people know better. Missionaries know better. Diplomats know better. Anyone who has spent time living abroad know that it works both ways – you have an impact where you are living, and where you are living has an equal impact on you. You may go back, but you are never the same.

With this move, AdventureMan and I have been too busy trying to get settled and to take care of the incredible amount of bureaucratic detail it takes to relocate. Even with AdventureMan ‘retired’, the days are flying by, and we don’t know why we are so busy.

For one thing, I am doing my own housework, and I am finding I am not very good at it. Like I am good at getting laundry done, and even folded, but I haven’t ironed in a long time, and the things that need ironing are stacking up. I have bought a beautiful new ironing board, and a beautiful iron . . . and some starch, the liquid kind I like, not the spray kind. . . but I haven’t set it up, and I haven’t ironed, not a thing. I have discovered that all my packed things looked a lot better after hanging in the closets for a week, most of the wrinkles fell out, lucky me. But . . . the day of reckoning is coming.

The worst part, for me, is cleaning my floors. My floors are supposed to be beautiful; wood and tile floors. They actually ARE beautiful, maybe two days a week, the day I clean them and the next day, but five days a week, they need work. I wish I had asked my cleaning lady in Doha how she got my floors so beautifully clean. I wish I had paid more attention. I keep looking in the store for some miracle, a machine that will clean them in a heartbeat and make them all shiny. . .

The wonderful thing about moving into this culture – and it truly is a different culture from the one in which I was raised – is that we have our wonderful son and his wonderful wife to give us hints on what to do and not to do, and we have his wife’s wonderful family.

Mostly, I try to keep my eyes open. Southern women admire things extravagantly, and after living for so many years in the Middle East and Gulf, learning to admire extravagantly goes against all my instincts.

In the MIddle East, when you admire extravagantly, you can make people nervous. Some people worry about attracting “the evil eye” of jealousy, evil intentions, people who envy you and wish you harm. Some people, if you admire something, will give it to you! It’s true, those stories, it has happened to me. So now I have to un-learn my lessons in retraint and learn to appreciate, if not extravagantly, at least enough to be polite.

One of my wife’s relatives gave us a house-warming gift, an iced-tea maker, with a darling card that states Rule #1 is that every Southern Hostess knows that a pitcher of iced tea is a MUST for all occasions. I like iced tea, but I have never kept it on hand to serve, and I guess I need to start!

Her second rule was one that made me burst out laughing – “A Southern Lady, the most interesting ones anyway, know that rules are made to be broken.”

“Just be prepared for people to leave your home saying “Bless her heart, she must be getting forgetful. There was no iced tea!”

And then rule #3 – “The only correct and acceptable way to criticize anyone is to add ‘bless his/her heart!’ and then, anything goes!”

At a party at her house this weekend, I learned a couple more – the first rule being that when you are invited to a great big family dinner, bring dessert! Thank God, I did take a little guest gift, but now I know – bring dessert! And it had better be sweet!

The next rule is would make any Kuwaiti or Qattari feel right at home – spare nothing in making our guests comfortable. This Southern Hostess had seating areas inside the beautiful air conditioned home, and also seating outside for those who don’t mind a little heat. She had a big basket loaded with all kinds of insect repellents to keep her guests from being bitten. She took time with each guest, and although she was running her little bottom off getting everything organized, she made it all look easy, and as if she was having a good time. I have a sneaking suspicion the truly was enjoying having all the people around and that her great big heart loves taking care of the crowd. She was the essence of gracious hospitality. Did I mention she has also lived in Kuwait?

Dinner was “Perlow” an old Southern tradition, made in a huge old kettle from her husband’s mother, and hung from a tripod over a roaring fire to cook. The actual cooking was the men’s work as they sat outside drinking iced tea:

Home grown peas and beans mix – delicious!

Serving up the perlow:

My Middle East / Gulf friends would be comfortable eating this meal – Perlow is a variation of Pilaf, and very similar to Biryani. No alcohol served. No pork. Lots and lots of fabulous sweet desserts.

It’s funny, I used to tell people in Kuwait and Qatar that it was a lot like Alaska; when the weather got too bad, you just stay inside most of the time. When the weather gets good, you go outside as much as you can. When it’s too hot/cold, you run from your air conditioned/heated car to your air conditioned / heated store or movie theater, or restaurant, and then back to your air conditioned / heated car and back to your air conditioned/ heated house.

In the same way, I am beginning to wonder if the South and the Middle East know how much they have in common? In Pensacola, on Saturdays, we have the religious people on the corners shouting at passing cars, not a whole lot different from the volunteer morality police in Saudi Arabia. In the South, as in the Middle East, ‘family’ isn’t just blood, it’s also who you’re married into, and there is a lot of emphasis on family getting together and spending time together. In the South, as in the Middle East, men tend to gather in one area, women in another.

In the South, they drink iced tea; in the Middle East, it’s hot tea. Both have passionate patriots, fundamental believers and a tradition of gracious hospitality. Both have a passion for hunting and fishing. Nobody much likes obeying the rules in either culture. Maybe I’m still in the MIddle East?

May 18, 2010 Posted by | Adventure, Arts & Handicrafts, Character, Civility, Cold Drinks, Community, Cooking, Cross Cultural, Cultural, Doha, Entertainment, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Florida, Food, Hot drinks, Humor, Kuwait, Living Conditions, Local Lore, Locard Exchange Principal, Marriage, Middle East, Moving, Qatar, Random Musings, Relationships, Saudi Arabia, Values | 8 Comments

Pocket Park with a View

As we were winding our way home from lunch, we came across a tiny parking area – two cars worth – and a pocket park with a view to die for.

The park is about where it says Chipley Avenue, and has a view of the Garcon Point bridge; a perfect place to watch the sun rise, if you are a sunrise person, which . . .I am!

The park was donated by a gift from a woman who is memorialized in a tiny plaque in the park:

Isn’t that a beautiful legacy to leave behind when you depart this world?

May 12, 2010 Posted by | Adventure, Aging, Arts & Handicrafts, Beauty, Character, Charity, Civility, Community, ExPat Life, Interconnected | 5 Comments

Tax Day Tea Party in Pensacola

We don’t really understand the Tea Party. It is clearly against Obama, but then again, it is clearly the party of “against” and it is hard to find anything it is for. This is a problem; it is easy to tear down, and it is a lot more difficult to create – to formulate solutions which will provide benefits for the majority of participants.

As we were approaching our hotel, we saw this huge crowd of ‘protesters’ who appeared to be partying. But every sign was different! As 15 April is Tax Day, the day our income taxes are due, maybe about 10% were carrying signs that had to do with taxes, preferably NO taxes. The rest of the signs protested other things – constitutional amendments (what – women voting? black people being counted as full people? the repeal of prohibition?), no abortion, putting God first – it was a total potluck of causes.

The weather was mild, the sun was shining, there was a breeze – great day for an incoherent protest, LOL. I took pictures from the safety of our car, although everyone seemed very friendly:

Here is what cracks us up. Pensacola is a highly military reliant community. There is a huge military presence here, from Eglin Air Force Base to the Pensacola Naval Air Station. Pensacola is glad to have the military business. So where do they think the money comes from that pays the military salaries, and thus, gets spent in their economy, at their businesses? Few Americans have saved enough to comfortably retire, who do they think is contributing to their Social Security support, and Medicare, and Medigap? Tax dollars! Who do they think supports public education, and guarantees law and order? Who do they think runs the justice system? Who do they think provides emergency fire and medical services? Tax dollars! Who builds and maintains the roads and bridges, insures safety in our food supplies, construction and medicines? Our government, supported by our tax dollars!

Do I like paying taxes? No! Not one bit! But in the interest of the greater good, we pay our taxes honestly, and thank God to live in a society with order, thanks to our tax dollars.

April 17, 2010 Posted by | Adventure, Aging, Character, Civility, Community, Cultural, Education, ExPat Life, Financial Issues, Florida, Generational, Health Issues, Law and Order, Living Conditions, Political Issues, Safety, Social Issues | | 3 Comments

Pensacola/Escambia County Honors WWII Vets

To understand how significant this is, you need to know that Pensacola is not a wealthy area, suffering more than 10% unemployment. Pensacola and Escambia County were hit hard by Hurricanes Ivan and Dennis, and are still recovering, but when asked to support this effort, exceeded – and nearly doubled – the charitable contribution:

The sixth trip of Emerald Coast Honor Flight is scheduled to depart from the Pensacola Gulf Coast Regional Airport this morning, taking a group of Northwest Florida’s WWII veterans to see the WWII Memorial.

This is from the Pensacola News Journal for today:

The Escambia County School District is the major sponsor for the April 14 flight, which will take 98 World War II veterans to Washington, D.C.

More than $114,000 was raised through individual donations. Teachers made personal donations to sponsor a veteran, often doing so in honor of their own loved ones who served during WWII. Students saved pennies and participated in school activities such as the “Hats Off To Veterans” day hosted at N. B. Cook.

All of the funds given were donations made by employees, students, schools, parents and community members.

In October, the district set a goal to sponsor 50 veterans, but within six weeks, the goal had been exceeded. On March 16, Superintendent Malcolm Thomas presented a ceremonial check to Emerald Coast Honor Flight, representing the largest donation ever made to the organization.

“I’m so incredibly proud of Escambia County’s staff, teachers and students,” Thomas said in a news release. “They really stepped up to the challenge to honor our local veterans by sending them on Honor Flight.”

The veterans, whose ages range from 82 to 95, will have guardians to escort them throughout the entire day. A cherished war time memory , “mail call,” will be re-created on the flight to Washington, with letters of appreciation from students and employees being distributed to each of the veterans.

Bryce Cox, a fourth-grade student from N. B. Cook Elementary, wrote one of the letters.

“I wrote ‘Thank you for serving our country and protecting it and I hope you have fun on the Honor Flight,” Bryce said.

A big homecoming celebration is planned upon the veterans’ return to Pensacola. Escambia County School District high school bands, cheerleaders and NJROTCs will be participating.

The public is invited to welcome home the veterans as at 7 p.m. at the Pensacola Gulf Coast Regional Airport.

Wooo HOOOO on you, Pensacola and Escambia County!

April 14, 2010 Posted by | Adventure, Bureaucracy, Character, Charity, Civility, Community, ExPat Life, Florida, Fund Raising, Generational, Living Conditions, Pensacola | Leave a comment

Tampa Grapples with Dog Poo

When former suburbanites move back to the city, they bring their dogs with them. The city of Tampa is having to re-educate dog owners to clean up after their pets.

“It’s the LAW!” LLOOLL

I’ve lived in communities where Dog Poo has been a problem. It helps to know your neighbors. When you know your neighbors you are more considerate. There needs to be a downtown Tampa Neighborhood Association that helps people do the right thing because they want to get along with their neighbors. 🙂

From AOL Housing Watch

When the housing market finally improves in this country, is a lot more poo in the streets all we really have to look forward to?

That particular reward came along with a booming housing market in downtown Tampa, Florida. Buyers have snatched up condos and rental units in recent months, after prices were pummeled by the housing market collapse. The area’s population has zipped from almost zero to some 3,000 residents, Paul Ayres, the director of marketing for the Tampa Downtown Partnership, tells a local website.

It turns out that a lot of these new downtown residents have brought their pets with them — along with a pretty inconsiderate attitude toward their new neighbors. Now, Tampa is grappling with a virtual explosion of dog poo.
It’s a nuisance for residents who must dodge errant dog poo like landmines. But it’s also a health issue, since the feces can end up being washed down storm sewers and into water systems without being treated, as a recent Tampa Tribune article points out.

To combat the problem, new Pooch Stations — plastic bag dispensers and bins where pet owners can dispose of the package — are being set up in downtown Tampa. Postcards are also being handed out to remind folks to pick up after their animals. “When your pet has finished its business, do yours by cleaning it up! It’s the law!” scold the cards.

Of course, there are fines of $150 for not cleaning up after your pet, but they are rarely enforced.

In some cases, downtown property managers have started issuing fines to to tenants in the their buildings who refuse to pick up their dog’s droppings, according to the Tampa Tribune.

Lynda Remund, director of district operations at the Tampa Downtown Partnership, told the paper, “We’ve have guides who have witnessed this happening and told the owner to clean it up, only to be told that, ‘It’s your job to clean it up!'”

“Well,” replies Remund, “guess what? It’s not!”

Somehow, as the nation struggles to heal its housing market, I find it difficult to think that the folks at Treasury or FHA or the too-big-to-fail banks are giving much thought to the potential poo problem that has arisen in downtown Tampa. Maybe they should. Who better than our government officials and esteemed CEOs to deal with poo?

Charles Feldman is a journalist, media consultant and co-author of the book, “No Time To Think-The Menace of Media Speed and the 24-hour News Cycle.” He has written about real -estate related issues for several years. This is his very first post about poo!

April 2, 2010 Posted by | Character, Civility, Community, Cultural, Florida, Interconnected, Living Conditions, Values | Leave a comment

The Kindness of Strangers

Things have started off well in Pensacola. My second day in town, I made it to church, and discovered that the church is involved with gathering food for the poor, something I like doing, too. They are also celebrating the church in Jerusalem and the Middle East on Palm Sunday, which I find a sort of fortuitous omen, since here I am, coming in from the Middle East.

Monday, we bought the house. We really did buy it, even though it was me signing the papers. Now that I think of it, that’s the way it has been with just about every house we have bought – I have gone ahead to sign the papers and AdventureMan has followed later . . .

The previous owner of the house did some really kind, really generous things. He left a screen for the fireplace that is sort of Art Nouveau, my favorite period, and I really like it. It sounds like a small thing, but he put a full roll of toilet paper in every bathroom. He left all the instruction manuals for all the appliances, and left notes on the remotes, explaining which was which. I found all of this very kind, unexpectedly kind, and generous of spirit.

The contractors who are going to rewire and then restore the house are contractor nerds. You do know how much I like nerds, don’t you? Nerds are people who are probably ‘uncool’ because they have a fascination with something, and don’t care what you think about it. One of these guys is an electrician nerd, and the other is a general contractor nerd, and once they start talking, I (the customer) am almost irrelevant. These guys have listened to what I want, they know what I need, they have asked all the right questions, and then the two of them start talking in their own language (contractor language; it’s English but barely intelligible to folk like me) and they are trying as hard as they can to get AdventureMan and Qatteri Cat and me into the house as soon as possible. These are honest guys, who love the work they are doing, and I feel so blessed to have them in my life.

In fact, I met my realtor because she is married to the contractor guy. I found him on the internet when I needed some work done on my other Pensacola house. He had a valid license, and no complaints. When I interviewed him, my son and husband were also present, and we all agreed, some how we had lucked out. This man was straight forward, and honest. When he told us how much it would cost, we gulped, but he got all the work done on time, and on budget. How cool is that?

His wife spent hours and days and weeks with us, showing us huge numbers of houses, from the amazing to the disgusting. She said she would find the right house for us, and – she did! It is close to our son and his wife without being too close, it is close to church, close to shopping and not far at all from the glorious Pensacola beaches. Woo HOOO on her!

Yesterday, I bought the Rav4. It was so boring, so uneventful, I totally loved it. Who needs new car drama? The car is enough, I don’t want drama! These people were so good to me – they arranged for me to drop my car off near their dealership, which is about an hour from Pensacola (YES! YES, I would drive an hour for the kind of service I got – I got the car I wanted at almost the exact price I was willing to pay) and they picked me up, went through all the formalities, did not try to stick me with any extra charges, in fact I ended up paying $6 less than I thought. They demo’d the new features, handed me the keys and sent me off with a full tank of gas. It was a great way to buy a car, and I love my new car.

Today, I needed to buy book cases. The one rule of moving in is that it goes smoothly IF you have places to put things, which in our case means book cases. I use them for books, yes, but also for fabric storage, sometimes to display photos, sometimes to divide rooms, or to store sweaters and underclothes and things I want to be able to see where they are.

I knew where I had seem book cases at an amazing price, but they didn’t have six in the finish (maple) that I wanted, so a kind woman working there checked local inventories and sent me off to the next store, where they found the six, loaded them on a trolley and a strong young man loaded them into my car. When I tried to tip him, he gasped and pulled back and said “No! No! I’m not allowed to accept tips! I could get FIRED if I took a tip!”

This is not what I am used to!

All in all, people have been amazingly kind, and it seems to happen a lot.

There is one very funny thing I notice about myself, now four days in Pensacola. That is, I cannot go into a grocery store and come out with just what I went in for. The prices here are so GOOD! I keep thinking in Kuwaiti Dinars, or Qatari Riyals, and I think “I might never see tuna fish at that price again!” or “Look at the price on those eggs!” and even though the RATIONAL part of my brain keeps saying “Wait! Wait! You’re in the United States now!” the reality has not yet permeated my buying mode enough to restrain me. I have zero sales resistance. I really just need to stay out of the stores until I can build some resistance up.

At the end of every day I get to come home to my son and his wife and their little baby son, and life is sweet, except that we all wish AdventureMan would hurry and come and join us. And bring the Qateri Cat!

March 24, 2010 Posted by | Adventure, Bureaucracy, Character, Civility, Community, Cross Cultural, Customer Service, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Financial Issues, Florida, Food, Generational, Living Conditions, Marriage, Qatteri Cat, Shopping, Social Issues, Values, Work Related Issues | 5 Comments

Population Trends and Future Forecasts

America in 2050 — Part 1
This is the first of a three-part series for AOL News adapted from Joel Kotkin’s new book, “The Next Hundred Million: America in 2050.” Part 2 in the series will look at America’s increasingly multiracial population in 2050.

This is an opinion piece from AOL NEWS OP/ED If you read this article carefully, you will see that the population trends he cites as promising for the USA are equally applicable to countries in the Middle East with stable economies and forward leaning plans:

Opinion: What America Will Look Like in 2050

Joel Kotkin
Special to AOL News

(March 15) — To many observers, America’s place in the world is almost certain to erode in the decades ahead. Yet if we look beyond the short-term hardship, there are many reasons to believe that America will remain ascendant well into the middle decades of this century.

And one important reason is people.

From 2000 to 2050, the U.S. will add another 100 million to its population, based on census and other projections, putting the country on a growth track far faster than most other major nations in the world. And with that growth — driven by a combination of higher fertility rates and immigration — will come a host of relative economic and social benefits.

More fertile

Of course the percentage of childless women is rising here as elsewhere, but compared to other advanced countries, America still boasts the highest fertility rate: 50 percent higher than Russia, Germany or Japan, and well above that of China, Italy, Singapore, Korea and virtually all of eastern Europe.

As a result, while the U.S. population is growing, Europe and Japan are seeing their populations stagnate — and are seemingly destined to eventually decline. Russia’s population could be less than a third of the U.S. by 2050, driven down by low birth and high mortality rates. Even Prime Minister Vladimir Putin has spoken of “the serious threat of turning into a decaying nation.”

Source: U.S. Census Bureau, International Database.
In East Asia, fertility is particularly low in highly crowded cities such as Tokyo, Shanghai, Tianjin, Beijing and Seoul. And China’s one-child policy — and a growing surplus of males over females — has set the stage for a rapidly aging population by mid-century. South Korea, meanwhile, has experienced arguably the fastest drop in fertility in world history, which perhaps explains its extraordinary, if scandal-plagued, interest in human cloning.

Even more remarkably, America will expand its population in the midst of a global demographic slowdown. Global population growth rates of 2 percent in the 1960s have dropped to less than half that rate today, and this downward trend is likely to continue — falling to less than 0.8 percent by 2025 — largely due to an unanticipated drop in birthrates in developing countries such as Mexico and Iran. These declines are in part the result of increased urbanization, the education of women and higher property prices. The world’s population, according to some estimates, could peak as early as 2050 and begin to fall by the end of the century.

Younger and More Vibrant

Population growth has very different effects on wealthy and poor nations. In the developing world, a slowdown of population growth can offer at least short-term economic and environmental benefits. But in advanced countries, a rapidly aging or decreasing population does not bode well for societal or economic health, whereas a growing one offers the hope of expanding markets, new workers and entrepreneurial innovation.

In fact, throughout history, low fertility and socioeconomic decline have been inextricably linked, creating a vicious cycle that affected such once-vibrant civilizations as ancient Rome and 17th-century Venice and that now affects contemporary Europe , Russia and Japan.

Within the next four decades, most of the developed countries in both Europe and East Asia will become veritable old-age homes: a third or more of their populations will be older than 65, compared with only a fifth in the U.S. By 2050, roughly 30 percent of China’s population will be older than 60, according to the United Nations. The U.S. will have to cope with an aging population and lower population growth, in relative terms, but it will maintain a youthful, dynamic demographic.

More Hopeful About the Future

The reasons behind these diverging trends is complex. In some countries, a sense of diminished prospects, combined with a chronic lack of space, appear to be the root causes for plunging birthrates. As Italians, Germans, Japanese, Koreans and Russians have fewer offspring — one recent survey found that only half of Italian women 16 to 24 said they wanted to have children — they will have less concern for future generations.

In contrast, in the United States roughly three-quarters of young people report they plan to have offspring. Such individual decisions suggest that America, for all its problems, is diverging from its prime competitors, placing its faith in a future that can accommodate 100 million more people.

As author Michael Chabon recently wrote, “In having children, in engendering them, in loving them, in teaching them to love and care about the world,” parents are “betting” that life can be better for them and their progeny

Joel Kotkin is a distinguished presidential fellow at Chapman University in Orange, Calif., and an adjunct fellow with the Legatum Institute in London.

To submit an op-ed to AOL News, write to opinion@aolnews.com.

March 16, 2010 Posted by | Civility, Community, Family Issues, Financial Issues, Interconnected, Social Issues, Values, Work Related Issues | 1 Comment

Buying a Car the Civilized Way

“Did you know USAA has a car buying service?” AdventureMan asked me. Well, yes, sort-of, but I’ve been not wanting to think about buying a new car with all the house-buying stuff and paper-filling out stuff and packing stuff and making lists.

On the other hand, every day I have to rent a car is money down the drain.

“I’ll just check it out,” I thought to myself.

It was so easy. You go online and tell the car buying service where you live and what you want to buy. They send your name and phone number and e-mail (since I don’t want car salespeople calling me in the middle of the night because they don’t understand about time zones, I only gave them my e-mail) to dealerships who participate in USAA’s program.

USAA also sent me a list of car dealerships in my area and a Certificate for me to print with their agreed upon price. That simple. The certificate prices were significantly lower than anything I had been offered at the dealership I visited, and these were guarantee.

Within hours, three dealerships had e-mailed me. I chose the closest, worked with a WOMAN to get what I wanted at the price I was willing to pay, and not one item more. She was courteous and helpful and respectful! She got me everything I wanted. She named an out-the-door price that I could live with.

The only downside is that the dealership is 35 minutes away, in Fort Walton Beach. The upside is that they have been known to deliver, and 35 minutes just isn’t that far. Like from Fintas to downtown Kuwait City in heavy traffic, or from my house to the Ritz Carleton in Qatar. I can live with that.

Yes. Yes, Daggero, you guessed it right, I am buying another Rav4, one with brakes that work. I’m not scared off by Toyota’s troubles. It’s like eating in a restaurant that has just re-opened after being closed for health violations; you know it’s never going to be cleaner than it is right now. 😉 I love the way the Rav4 is sort of small, I am sort of small, too. I love that it turns on a dime, and that I am high enough to look over most of the traffic, but small enough to park in a tiny parking spot. It’s an SUV, but a modest SUV, with good mileage per gallon, and a great record for reliability and repairs.

Here is what I love about this transaction. I did my homework. I know what I want. I know what is a reasonable price to pay. I am getting a better price than I expected. There are no games – here’s what I want, here is what I am getting and here is what it is going to cost, and that includes title and licensing. How cool is that? I feel like when you do business like this, everyone is a winner.

And a shout-out to Marisa at Quality Toyota at Fort Walton Beach for making the process easy and non-threatening and civil. Working with her to buy my new car was a pleasure.

March 13, 2010 Posted by | Adventure, Beauty, Civility, Community, Customer Service, Doha, ExPat Life, Financial Issues, Kuwait, Living Conditions, Marketing, Qatar, Shopping | 7 Comments

Keep Another’s Confidence

This is from a wonderful website by by Rick Warren, who writes about the Purpose Driven Life and who sends out daily inspirational messages. I love this one.

Connect be keeping someone’s confidence
by Rick Warren
“A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.” Proverbs 11:13 (NIV)

If relationships are going to work, we have to be confidential with information.
Are you the kind of person that someone can trust with confidential information? We tend to think of gossip as one of those little sins, a misdemeanor sin. But when God talks about gossip, He puts it on a list with things like sexual immorality and murder.

Why? Because it is incredibly destructive to relationships.

What is gossip? Gossip is talking about a situation with somebody who is neither a part of the solution nor a part of the problem. And if we’re honest with ourselves, what we’re doing is making ourselves feel a little more important at somebody else’s expense. We’re talking about their hurts and their problems, but in a way that makes us feel a little bit superior to them. That’s the danger and the hurt of gossip.

There’s a story in the Old Testament about a family that struggled with gossip. Moses had a sister name Miriam who one day got caught up in gossiping about Moses amidst the rest of the people. God called them together – Moses and Miriam. He spoke with Miriam and told her what she’d done wrong and immediately He gave her leprosy.

But look at what God did next; he invited Moses to pray for Miriam’s healing – to pray for the one who gossiped against him.

Some of you have been deeply hurt by gossip. The story of Moses and Miriam suggests God would say to you, “Pray for that person’s healing, the one who gossiped against you. That way you can be released from the hurt that’s come into your life.”

Perhaps you’re the one whose been gossiping. You’ve been the one talking about other people. This story is in the Old Testament to remind us how serious gossip is, how hurtful it can be to people no matter what side of the situation you’re on.

The truth is, when you keep confidences it makes your relationships healthier. It enables you to keep connecting with others in positive and genuine way.

What is so interesting to me is that Islam has the same prohibitions against gossip, called back-biting, and puts a high level of prohibition against it. The prophet Mohammed warned against it repeatedly.

I love it that Rick Warren puts it into context by warning that it destroys relationships.

February 28, 2010 Posted by | Character, Charity, Civility, Communication, Community, Cross Cultural, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Friends & Friendship, Health Issues, Interconnected, Living Conditions, Random Musings, Spiritual | Leave a comment