How it is Meant to Be: Symmetry vs Asymmetry
As I was growing up, I learned asymmetry. I learned rules like “you never put even numbers together, you use three items here and one here” and that you vary items in height. I am guessing it is semi-cultural; there is a lot of Scandinavian influence in my background, and a lot of Japanese influence on the west coast of the USA, where I was raised.
My housekeeper didn’t have my Mom, or my upbringing. I am the boss and she is the housekeeper, right? Shouldn’t I be getting my way?
It’s not like these things are right or wrong, it is a question of style and what seems right to you – and a lot of that is cultural.
When I lived in Africa, my housekeepers would say “it wants to be here” or “it is meant to be there” and at first I laughed, and then somehow the ‘wants to be’ crept into my way of thinking. How can an object WANT to be somewhere? On the other hand, you place it and all of a sudden you know that’s where it ‘wants’ to be.
My current housekeeper likes symmetry. I carefully place objects; she dusts and she puts them where they tell her they want to be. I can tell in a heartbeat when something has been moved; it just doesn’t look right. I can change it back, but it will go back to being symmetrical within a week.
Most of the time, I just let it go. When you have a housekeeper who really cares about her job – and mine has helped me out many times with good ideas for how something can be done better – I just let it go. If I have people coming over and it really matters to me where things are, I can change it for that one occasion if it is really important to me, otherwise – I just accept that placement is a battle I am not going to win. And I really, really like my current housekeeper, so I will let her be the boss of placement.
What about you? Are you a symmetrical or an asymmetrical?
Eid Confusion
After writing that I don’t get a lot of phone calls, my VOIP started ringing. Four times, it was AdventureMan – we always have a lot to talk about. Once, my Mom, who calls just because she can and because the number we got is her area code, so it is like calling next door, and we all like that. Last, one of my friends in Kuwait – we have discovered we can call VOIP to VOIP. It’s like double the trouble – VOIP phones don’t always have the best connection, sometimes they are echo-y, sometimes one person can hear and the other can’t, sometimes you get other people on the conversation with you – so when you talk VOIP to VOIP, you have double the risk of technical difficulties, but still, an cost-per-phonecall that encourages long conversations (if you can hear and understand one another.)
“Has Eid started in Kuwait?” I asked at one point.
“I don’t thing so,” she replied. “I think it starts like Monday or so.”
It’s confusing to me. I know that Ramadan started four weeks ago tomorrow, so it is likely Eid will be 28 days later, like tonight or tomorrow or Sunday. But Kuwait started the Eid holidays on Friday, the official holidays, so that people will have nine full days of Eid celebration. (two weekends and a five day week). I don’t know if it is the same in Qatar.
It is also confusing as to just who gets the Eid holiday. When I lived in Tunis, lo, these many years ago, the entire country got every celebration. Those of us at the Embassy were doubly blessed; we got all the American holidays AND we got all the Tunisian holidays. So did just about everybody; the country shut down. For at least three days, no restaurants were open, no stores were open – you had to know about this in advance and bring in provisions to last until the Eid celebrations were over.
I wonder, did it used to be that way in Qatar? In Kuwait? That everything shut down, at least for the first day of Eid, and often longer?
In Kuwait and in Qatar, occasionally – like the first day of Eid – the stores will be closed a day – some just half a day. So many workers here are non-Muslim that it makes it possible to keep places open without intruding on someone’s celebration of Eid, in fact, I would think being able to go to restaurants and pick up a few items in the stores enhances the Eid experiences. I know most of my friends in Qatar are leaving town, just as I am getting back, beating feet for Europe, for Africa, for the Maldives, celebrating by traveling.
All the same, I am not sure when exactly Eid is expected to start officially, like according to the lunar calendar. Anyone?
KLM Customer Service – I’m Impressed
There are days when my phone doesn’t ring at all. I’m not a big phone person, sometimes my friends are out of town, there can be a hundred reasons my phone doesn’t ring including the fact that not a lot of people have my phone number.
So when my phone rang this afternoon, I was surprised, but a few people know I am back in town and I wondered who it could be.
KLM said the little phone screen. KLM calling me? Did I lose something and I don’t even know it?
“This is Mr. SoAndSo with KLM Customer Service, we are calling to ask how was your flight?”
(HOLY SMOKES!)
He also asked if I had any criticisms or suggestions. . . Soliciting customer feedback . . . amazing.
Actually, the KLM part of the flight was magnificent. I got on the plane and slept almost all the way to Qatar, I was so exhausted. I don’t even remember anything, but I was really really really glad no one woke me to ask if I wanted a meal or anything. For me, that is a really good flight.
I am still so blown away that they called and asked.
T’fadl(i), God Whispers
Arriving back in Doha, it’s Ramadan, and it’s like Christmas. Not the way Christmas is supposed to be, but the way Christmas sometimes brings out the very worst in us. At the grocery store, the very first indication is the parking – I suppose it might be this bad from time to time, but today it felt like everyone was in the ME FIRST mode. The parking lot was congested with guys just sitting and waiting for their riders to come back, and people afraid that the parking spot they had their eye on was going to be taken by someone else. There were moments of gridlock, and impatient honking.
It’s easier for me to handle than for those who are fasting.
Inside the store, the faces are stern and their is an air of desperation. Women are looking for new ways to provide special meals (imagine, having to come up with an entire month of special meals!) and I imagine the budgets are strained right now, especially with the big Eid coming up.
We all know that we are to humble ourselves and to give way to others. We are told to do more than just give way, but to give way willingly, and with grace, with a smile. It’s something our two religions share, the emphasis on humbling oneself to serve the greater good. The meaning of the polite Arabic t’fadl (to a man) or t’fadli (to a woman), it means, literally, you are to be preferred (over/before me). It is my spiritual exercise during Ramadan, when everyone else is pushing and shoving and grabbing and taking priority, that I am relishing deferring, elaborate politeness, and giving the hand sign for patience (palm up, fingers together, thumb on middle finger, pushing upward) to those who are honking at me while I wait for someone to back out of the parking space I don’t even need.
It probably doesn’t get me any points, spiritually, to be so aggressively polite; I am enjoying it too much.
Casper’s A Taste of the South
We had decided on one restaurant, an Italian restaurant we both like, and were on our way, when Mom thought of another restaurant we might like to try, but it was on the way, so we could look at it and decide whether we wanted to eat there or go on to the Italian one.
This is very normal for our family. Our son used to call it “bait and switch” because we would say “Hey! Do you want to go to Tortilla Gonzales?” and he would say “Yeah!” and we would all jump in the car and then on the causeway, AdventureMan would say “You know I really have a taste for Chinese . . . would anyone prefer Chinese?” and I would jump in and say “We’re really close to that sushi place we all love!” and then our son would have to rein us in “NO! You said we were going to Tortilla Gonzales!”
Once he went away to college, we switched all the time. Later, we learned that now he and his wife do the old switch-a-roo, too – family culture is a hard thing to shake.
So we are en route and Mom suddenly shouts “RIBS!” and I say “What??” and she said “We just passed a rib place!” We were at a stop light. “Mom,” I asked, “Do you want to go to that rib place?”
Silence.
Silence.
I pull into the U-turn lane and complain “You’ve got to start dealing with me directly; if you want to go to the rib place, you have to say so!” The complete irony being that I was already making the U-turn, which is what she wanted me to do. . . . Family culture being a hard thing to shake . . .
But as we pulled into the already crowded parking lot, the smell was absolutely divine. There was already a line. Good thing, too, it gave us time to read the menu and decide what we wanted.
We both ordered ribs. We are both forbidden to eat ribs. I eat ribs maybe one time each year, like once, at a buffet, I ate one small rib. It is so rare that I allow myself to eat a rib that I can remember even that one tiny rib. But this time, I ordered ribs, because my Mom did. She ordered Sweet Potato Fries and Cole Slaw and I ordered Hush Puppies and Cole Slaw.
You are going to be so so proud of me. I took pictures before we ate the food this time, well, except for one tiny bite I took out of the hushpuppies, but that was to show you what they look like on the inside. (My Mom has NEVER had a hushpuppy in her life before having one of mine.)
We sat down in the large outside sitting place – I can’t help but wonder what they do in the winter time, because it can get really really cold and damp in Seattle, but I am guessing that they do a huge take-out business.
They have a map that they want people to put push-pins in to say where they are from:
I made a little addition:
And, as I promised, here is the food. Actually, they gave Mom this HUGE portion, about double my portion, but since I got four ribs and only ate two, Mom took home a huge box of leftover ribs to package up and freeze and have a little at a time.
Did you know sweet potatoes are really really healthy for you?
(I think sweet potatoes are healthier for you when they have a lower surface/interior ratio and have absorbed less fat, but these are totally, incredibly delicious. That’s sugar on the sweet potato fries, not salt.) Mom took leftover sweet potato fries home, too.
I can’t even pretend that there is anything healthy about deep fried cornbread. I ate them all, except the one Mom ate. They . . . they were really really good. Yes, I am so ashamed, but I would do it again.
And no, I didn’t take a photo of the sweet potato pie, generously seasoned with fresh nutmeg, it was divine, or the key lime pie we couldn’t eat and Mom took that home, too.
Oh, this food was good. As we left, the line stretched way out to door and into the parking lot.
Casper’s Taste of the South
15030 Bothell Way
Lake Forest Park, WA
(206)268-0202
Their slogan is:
Put a Little South in Your Mouth. LLLOOOLLLL!
Dubai, then Doha Most Expensive
Doha second most expensive city in Mideast
Web posted at: 8/27/2009 2:45:52
Source ::: The Peninsula/ By HUDA N V
DOHA: Doha is the second most expensive city in the Arab world, according to a latest study. The USB, one of the world’s leading financial firms, recently released the 14th edition of its ‘Prices and Earnings’ review which has included Doha for the first time in the list of 73 international cities.
Placed in the 39th position in global ratings, Doha is the second most expensive city in the Middle East after Dubai and before Manama. The rating is based on 122 common goods and services. The study looks at the prices of goods and services, and wages and working hours for 14 professionals in 73 cities round the world.
The study reveals that Dubai has surpassed New York and London which were the biggest financial cities in the world. The finical crisis had lead to fluctuation in the rankings of many cities. London which was the second most expensive in the 2006 review plummeted nearly 20 places, landing in the middle of the Western European rankings. Doha is the most expensive city in the world when it comes to a low-class furnished four bedroom flat. With a monthly rent of $4,210, even posh cities like New York ($4,110) and Dubai ($3,950) come after Doha.
However, in high-class four-bedroom apartments, Dubai is one of the most expensive following New York, Hong Kong and Tokyo. In Dubai, such apartments cost $7,090, whereas in Doha they cost $5,580 and $ 3,400 in Manama.
The average rent in most local houses in Qatar is $1,650, $2,160 in Dubai and $890in Manama. With this Doha and Dubai rank among the top 10 most expensive cities in terms of average rents.
Expenditure on some of the 122 goods and services in Doha came to $2,006, while in Dubai it was $2,522 and in Manama $1,773.
One of the common features of ‘Prices and Earnings’ is the ‘Big Mac index’, which has been a trusty indicator of how long an average wage-earner has to work in order to afford that universal meal in each city. This type of comparison is ideal for products that can be purchased around the world in the same quality — products such as an iPod.
People in Doha had to work more as per this index. To earn a Big Mac, people here had to work 34 minutes, whereas in Dubai people could earn the snack with 18 minutes of work and in Manama with 25 minutes of work. To buy an 8 GB iPod nano, Doha residents would have to labour for 35 minutes, compared to 20 minutes and 23 minutes for those in Dubai and Manama, respectively.
While Zurich in Switzerland paid its employees the most (more than $22 an hour), Dubai paid an average of just $10.10, Doha $5.40 and Manama $6.30. The lowest pay was in Mumbai, where workers received an average of just $1.20 an hour.
Food prices are the highest in Japan, at $710, and Geneva ($660) based on 39 standard western food items. In Doha, food cost $379, in Dubai $426 and in Manama $341. Mumbai had the cheapest foods, costing $153.
Taxi prices were the cheapest in Doha at $3.69 for a five-kilometre ride. In Dubai, the same ride cost $4.27 and in Manama $10.61.
Meanwhile, an evening three-course-meal in a good restaurant in Doha cost $59, ranking it the fourth most expensive place, close behind Dubai where such a meal cost $60.
Also, for a short break, which includes an overnight stay in a first-class hotel and various other services, the city could be the second most expensive after Tokyo. A break in Doha and in London cost $1,000 each, following Tokyo, where it can cost $1,130.
The ultra-liberal economic policies of Qatar and Dubai have created an extremely favourable environment for foreign companies and workers here. However, employees in Middle East work more than their counterparts in other countries. Workers in Doha, Dubai and Manama racked up longer hours, averaging 2,210 per year, 308 more than the global average.
How to Wash Your Hands in Qatar
I had just moments in the Ladie’s room in Qatar, just moments to whip out the camera and photograph this incredibly bureaucratic approach to hygiene and cleanliness.
How many steps to wash your hands??? And who (besides me) is really going to read these instructions in such detail? I am lucky to remember to wash my hands long enough to sing “Happy Birthday to You” two times using hot water and soap!
LLOOLLL, 12 illustrated steps!
Sunrise in Amsterdam (for my Kuwait friends)
OK, OK, now I have to tell you the truth.
I am not celebrating Ramadan in Doha this year.
When we moved to Doha, we didn’t know how long we would be there. It could have been just months. I know, I know, those who knew us and knew the situation just gasped and said “Why would you do this?”
We don’t know.
This is our life. This is the life of expat contractors. You always get a choice, but sometimes you do what will help out the company. The packing and unpacking part, the leaving friends part – all that is bad. Really really bad. The moving to a place you have lived before, where you know the roads, you know the grocery stores and gas stations and don’t have to learn everything all over again, and best of all – where you still have good friends – all that is really really good.
So once we learned that we will be in Doha for longer than three months, I quickly booked a trip to Seattle. If we were moving again soon, I wouldn’t have bothered, because these long trips get harder and harder on us.
As we were about to land in Amsterdam, I just happened to look outside the window – and there was the sun. Thinking of all my friends in Kuwait who got sick and tired of the sun rising over the Gulf (hee hee hee, it’s MY blog, and I never get tired of the sunrise! 🙂 ) I thought you might like to see the sun rising over a bunch of nice cool clouds and an airplane wing in Amsterdam.
Another Layer of Glitz for the LuLu in Doha
Here is one thing to LOVE about Ramadan (for non-Muslims). If you wait until all those who are fasting have finished rushing home to break bread (actually water and some dates are the traditional and best way to break the fast and raise the blood sugar levels gently), while they are enjoying Ftoor – the breaking of the fast – the roads are OURS! We are KING OF THE ROAD!
And the restaurants, and the Malls are empty! You can get anywhere in Doha in minutes! And, really, minutes, maybe even an hour, is all you have before the night roads start to get really really busy with people making Ramadan calls on one another, heading to the mosque for evening prayers, taking Mom and sisters to the Malls to check out the Ramadan sales, etc.
As we were heading down D-ring, AdventureMan – and you have to know, this is why we have been married for 36 years, we share the same sense of what is important – AdventureMan says “Look at the LULU!” and I look, and I am instantly busy digging out my camera while AdventureMan is saying “You’ll have to be quick, you’ll have to be QUICK! I don’t know if I can find a parking spot and I can’t slow down too much without getting hit in the rear!!”
(Honestly, when they put up an extra layer of glitz on the already neon-tarted LuLu, they owe it to their neighborhood to put in a photography lane for all the gawkers like us!)
The LuLu is one of our favorite places. When our guests come – especially from Europe – they love that the LuLu has all these exotic soaps from India, fresh fresh pistacio nuts, fresh walnuts, spices and spice mixtures they have never heard of (of which they have never heard, 1001 🙂 ), and upstairs, Arabic school notebooks, and a fabulous sari shop, and . . . well you just never know what. Our European friends also like the prices at the LuLu. When we take them at night, it is all lit up in Red, Green and Gold NEON, it shines so bright you can see it from the sky when you take off, if you take off in the right direction and if you are seated on the right side of the plane. 😉
But ANOTHER layer or neon? The LuLu has really gone to town!
I clicked away as AdventureMan shouted “Hurry! Hurry!” No time to focus, just click, click, click and hope that one or two will show up.
A LuLu, for our non-Arabic speaking friends, is a beautiful perfect pearl, and some of our friends call their daughter LuLu, a nickname, not her real name.
(With special thanks to AdventureMan, who made this post possible. 🙂 )
“Follow Me Everywhere and Watch Me Have Fun!”
Today, as AdventureMan and I were talking about the Qatteri Cat, AdventureMan said that the Qatteri Cat’s idea of fun is “follow me everywhere and watch me have fun!” Like “Dad, throw the Applebee apple, or the ping-pong balls”, or “Dad, chase me around the house!” I knew what AM was talking about – QC’s a cat. Cats are infinitely self-absorbed. I know he has some “feelings” for me, but they are pretty simple, like “I feel cold – hey! there’s the warm one!” “I feel hungry, and that one has a strong history of feeding me when I meow a certain way” or “You never know, that one might let me out if I meow long enough” (it never does). Mostly his feelings for me are need based.
But when AdventureMan said that about the Qatteri Cat, I just had to laugh. AdventureMan looked at me oddly, maybe it was something in the laugh. “I’m married to the Qatteri Cat!” I laughed. “What has our life been, but me following you around the world, watching you have fun?”
He laughed too.
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