Shooting the Grands
One of the family traditions at this large family reunion is taking photographs, different family groupings, and . . . all the kids. This was totally hilarious. This was chaos with some really fun props. The older kids tried to cooperate. The younger kids . . . LLLOOOLLL.
Intlxpatr Updates and ReVisits
Oops. I totally forgot. I wanted to show you my Halloween pumpkins.
What? ? ? Really? ? ? Halloween was almost a month ago? ? ? Time just flies these days.
I carved my pumpkins only a day or two before Halloween because with the heat and humidity here – like in Qatar and Kuwait – pumpkins can go moldy and soft if you carve them too soon.
I was OK, except for the ears. The ears – even just in a couple days – got all shriveled, but I kind of liked the effect. These were supposed to be cat pumpkins:
Happy Baby is learning to feed himself. He does great with Cheerios, with rice, with little things he can pick up and put in his mouth. Not so great yet with the spoon, but he is learning to love BBQ:
He thinks the flash on my camera is hilarious. Other than that, he likes me OK, but AdventureMan is his favorite right now.
The Qatteri Cat has a new bed, and oh, he just loves it. It has a tiny heating pad inside and is just warm enough to entice him. He sleeps so happily in his new bed, and he puts his baby in the bed to keep him warm, too, LOL:
We had a wonderful Thanksgiving in Panama City Beach, but my sunset photos are in the other camera and I don’t have the thing to download those photos. You have something to anticipate. 🙂
Great breakfast this morning at Andy’s Flour Power on Panama City Beach, one of our favorite places to go for breakfast:
AdventureMan and my Mom had the Vegetable Fritatta, and I had the Eggs Benedict:
We hope all our friends who celebrated Thanksgiving yesterday will take it easy on the Black Friday shopping, don’t get too excited, don’t fight over those great bargains. Have a great day.
Demon Cat From Hell at the East Hill Animal Hospital
The Qatari Cat occasionally has a little problem with cleanliness and hygiene, and since we don’t know if it might be a sign of something serious, we booked an appointment with a vet, the vet everyone talks about as being the best vet in town, so caring. We’ve visited her operation on open house day and we were impressed with her professionalism and knowledge, so we called her.
It was a really really good thing we did. When it came time to take him to the vet, I just plonked the cat cage down next to him, picked him up and put him inside, before he even really knew what was happening. He complained all the way to the vet, but nothing serious, like our diabetic cat who hated car motion and always threw up and defecated when we would take her places. 😦
We signed in, visited with the three little kittens seeking adoption, and then, our name was called. We took QC into an examination room where the assistant weighed him and stroked him and told him how sweet he was. He ate it up. He was as good as gold.
The vet came in, and took a look, said it didn’t look serious but that sometimes you see this problem in big cats and long haired cats, so they would just clean him up a little and shave his bottom.
“Hold him down like this,” she showed her assistant, and the Qatari cat cooperated. Er, well, he cooperated until the first vibration of the razor hit his hind-end hairs, at which time he did an instantaneous transformation into The Demon Cat From Hell, twisting, howling, hissing, trying to bite or scratch, little legs going in reverse, back writhing . . .
“I can’t hold him!” the assistant cried, and she hid her terror, but her voice trembled.
“Get the towel,” the vet said calmly, as she held him down with her two strong hands while the demon-cat-from-hell told her he intended great harm to her as soon as he could get free. She threw the towel over his head, which only made him madder and squirmier, but as the vet tech struggled and held the Qatari Cat down, the vet calmly continued with the “grooming.”
“We use these to clean the bottoms,” she said, pulling out those antiseptic wet-wipes we all carry around to wash our hands when there is no water around.
I just laughed. I have chased the Qatari cat around with warm wet cloths, with wet wipes, with towels . . . he does not like anyone messing with his bottom.
“Now that you’ve shaved him, I think he’ll be OK until the next time,” I said.
Trust me, Qatari Cat, when he is rational, knows I am the alpha. He obeys me. I can tell him to come in out of the garage and he will come; I can pat the bed and he will come lie down next to me. He knows my signals and he acknowledges my Queen-of-the-food-supply-and-warm-body status. Mess with his bottom, however, and all rational thought (in cat terms, rational thought, not our terms) flies out the window as the basest of instincts takes over.
Here is the sweet part. The clinic wrote us a thank you note for our visit. When it came in the mail, I was almost afraid to open it, afraid they would tell us that unfortunately, their practice is full right how and that they would like for us to find another vet for the Qatari Cat. Not so. It was a genuine thank you note, thanking us for our visit. They are totally a class act.
Sweet Prospect: Music At Christ Church
I remember when I lived in Qatar, and Kuwait, and then Qatar again, how I would read about something in the paper – the day after it happened. The things I did go to – and there were some spectacular events in Qatar – were mostly word of mouth, a personal invitation, very few cultural events were well advertised.
Not so in Pensacola. There is a wonderful Symphony, truly wonderful. There is an Opera, and several theatres, and even a Pensacola Ballet. And there is Music at Christ Church.
Yes, I am partial. We attend Christ Church, and I always love a concert where the surrounding is so beautiful. Tonight’s concert was irresistible – hammered dulcimers. Hammered dulcimers! Some of the earliest music in our country was hammered dulcimer. Lucky for me, AdventureMan loves music, and was as eager as I was to go to this concert.
So off to church in the morning, then meet up with our son and his wife – who ran the half marathon today, HOOOO-AHH! And of course, our darling little grandson, who wants nothing to do with me these days, not when there is AdventureMan, the original fun-guy. Famous Dave’s Barbeque, a wonderful meal with a truly great waiter, patient, kind, didn’t mind a baby and four dawdling adults – good fun, good conversation, good food, and then off to the concert.
The sun started setting around 3:30, and the concert began in the dimmed church around 4. It was sheer magic. The group, Sweet Prospect, is so talented, and their music is so lovingly performed. Melissa Allured plays the recorder as well as most of the melodies in the selections they played today, Sheryl Bragwell plays the hammered dulcimer and a bowed psaltery, and Gary Diamond backs them up with guitar. They played a wide variety of tunes; Scottish, Irish, early American, even a very Wyndham Hill sounding piece from a Lopez Island (Washington State) artist Gary Haggerty, called Coffee American, which was lively and quick.
(angel playing Psaltery)
I have a complaint. The concert was only an hour long. I could have listened longer. But oh, what a wonderful hour it was! I love the Music at Christ Church program. There is a suggested donation for the concert, but if you can’t afford the $10 donation, no one is standing there scowling if you want to come into the church and hear some great music. There is a bowl out for collecting the donation, people toss their donation in and sit down. The concerts are also sponsored by several levels of music lovers at Christ Church who are patrons of the arts, and contribute generously so that these opportunities are available to the Pensacola community. How cool is that?
The good news is that on the Sweet Prospects website you can also listen to some of their recordings, and you can buy their CD’s. THIS IS IMPORTANT, ADVENTUREMAN! The one I really really want is called Cold Frosty Morn. If you go to their website, it tells you how to order it, or you can find one of the bookstores in Pensacola that sells it. (hint hint) It is Christmas music. If you want to go listen to a tune or two by Sweet Prospects, click on the blue type above, and listen away. 🙂 If you live in Pensacola, and you want to learn to play the dulcimer – or several other early musical instruments – there is a group that welcomes you and will teach you how. Learn to play hammered dulcimer – in Pensacola. I am blown away.
It’s just been such a great day, full of church, family and culture. We are so glad to be in Pensacola.
I just wish Sweet Prospects would be picked up to be sent on a cultural tour to our embassies in the Middle East. I wish our friends there, who love music, and who know the early musical instruments of the Middle East, could hear this music, and see these instruments, which are so similar. As I enjoyed every minute of this concert, I was wishing my Arab Gulf friends could be hearing it, too. This music is so American, and yet, you can hear the early strains of the Irish, the Scottish, and yes, even the sounds of the Holy Lands, brought back to Europe by the early crusaders.
Veteran’s Day Tribute
Thank you for your faithful service to your country, and to mankind.
‘Where’s the #!*% Gecko?’
Today when I got home, I saw that Barcelona Red (AdventureMan’s car) had a rear light that looked like it was out. Oh oh. It looks like Barcelona Red took a crunch! I rushed inside to make sure AM was OK, which he was, and actually, he was very calm, it was a small accident, a young girl hit him while he was waiting for the car in front of him to make a left turn across traffic. They exchanged insurance information, AM filed a police report, and we think all is well.
AdventureMan and I follow good advertising campaigns. ‘What makes a good campaign?’ you are asking, and I will tell you. It gets your attention AND you remember the name of the advertiser when recalling the ad. If it is really good, it enters the national vocabulary, like ‘where’s the beef?’ or MAC vs PC.
‘I hope that Gecko pulls through for me,’ AdventureMan says, a little traumatized now that all the must-do’s are done. It’s her insurance. She has the Gecko. Great campaign; we’ll see how they perform in real life.
Father and Son Send Camera into Space
Once again, my Kuwaiti friend has sent me amazing footage of a father-son Science project, where they found a way to send a camera and iPhone into the atmosphere, broadcasting what it saw back to earth. The video story is here:
New Territory: Pensacola Medicine
It’s payback time. Since AdventureMan and I retired, we have been trying to catch up with all the things we have left undone as we lived overseas. One of those things is catching up on medical work, you know, the preventive stuff.
One of the things I avoided in Qatar and Kuwait were any kind of procedures where something alien entered your body. There are good hospitals, and there are good doctors, but you have to know someone who can recommend them, and they they have to accept you as patients. My strategy was simply to stay well. I had a constant concern, about the cleanliness of the hospitals, about the conscientiousness of the people sterilizing medical equipment, about patient care, about credentials of those putting in IV’s – little things like that.
When I came to Pensacola, LOL, I had the same concerns. We have this illusion that everything is better in the USA, but we are only as good as our rules, and the enforcement of the rules, and when budgets are being cut, code enforcement can suffer. Who is checking on the cleanliness of the facility, etc. can be an issue here, too.
We ran into a couple of breaks. We have friends here, and we also have good advisory people. While our advisory people are not allowed to give specific recommendations, we had a long and lively chat with one and we asked, at the end, “if your Mom or Dad needed a good overall internist, who would you send them to?” and she paused and gave us a name.
The name was also on our short list of doctors we had looked up online. There are all kinds of places that comment on doctors, and this doctor has all A’s.
My visit with the doctor got me started on a lot of other appointments. The first visit, however, had a very funny moment. We were talking, generally, I thought, about weight, and he said “what do you think would be a good weight for you at this age” and I thought and said a number and HE WROTE IT DOWN. “Oh no!” I said. “Are you writing it down?”
“Yes.” he responded. “I agree, I think that is a good goal for you.”
GOAL??? I talk a lot about exercise and trying to lose weight, but now I am expected to meet a goal??? Oh, aaaarrrggghh. Me and my big mouth, why did I pick that number???
My Pensacola medical experience grew this week as I had a dreaded colonoscopy, something older people have to do as part of preventive maintenance. I totally hate colonoscopy preparation, and I also know that the same problems that happen in Qatar and Kuwait can happen here in Pensacola, so I was anxious the day of the procedure.
As I was pushed into the operating room by a young guy, I asked “who are you?” and he said he was the doctor. I interviewed him, asking about his certification, etc. and his record. He could see I was anxious.
Finally, I asked, in desperation, “are you Christian?” and he said “yes,” and then added “Would you like us to pray together before we start?” I was shocked. I paused, trying to deal with this new information – you are allowed to pray in the operating room?
“Yes,” I said, “please.”
They put hands on me and prayed for guidance during the procedure, and safety and a positive outcome. That is the last I remember, I felt so secure, and then I woke up and it was over. The outcome was positive.
There is no such thing as not allowing prayer in the schools or public places. People can pray wherever they want. The only thing forbidden is prayers where everyone is forced to pray together, the same words, words that may not express the same faith. We don’t all share the same beliefs, we don’t all pray in the same vocabularies. But we are free to pray, no one can stop the prayers of the heart.
Marriage Myths
Found this today on AOL News: 10 Myths About Marriage – Marlo Thomas and found it to be full of wisdom.
Marriage is hard. We probably need all those myths (and estrogen and testosterone) or we would never get married, and the human race might fizzle! It helps to know that no matter what a marriage looks like on the outside, on the inside, each and every marriage has its own struggles.
Our moms passed down a lot of old “rules” about marriage. But ask anyone who’s been there and she’ll probably tell you that some of them just don’t apply to her marriage… me included. So I asked relationship expert Dr. Dale Atkins what she thinks about those bits of marital conventional wisdom. Read what she had to say – it turns out the knight in shining armor isn’t the only marriage myth!
Hi Marlo, and thanks for asking about the “rules” of marriage, or, as I call them, the myths! Really, so many of them are just that – they raise unrealistic expectations and can lead to disappointment and frustration.
I encounter people in my practice who think that a good marriage is built on romantic love and luck. One woman recently told me that she thinks a couple shouldn’t have to work at marriage if they are truly in love. The reality is that most successful marriages are built on commitment, respect, and companionship – and, of course, a shared history and a desire to support each other.
Coming to a better understanding of each other is the real key to a successful marriage. Now, let’s debunk some of those marriage myths:
MYTH #1: Your spouse is your other half, and now you are complete.
REALITY: A healthy person is complete in herself. Couples don’t complete each other, they complement each other (and they need to compliment each other, too!)
MYTH #2: Marriage is filled with romance and love.
REALITY: It is – but it’s also filled with anger and frustration, disappointment and confusion. It’s filled with lots of emotions, and couples should expect to experience peaks and valleys. The everyday problems and challenges of married life can often obscure romantic, loving, tender feelings, which is why couples need to remember the commitment that’s at the core of their marriage and realize there are full times and empty times.
MYTH #3: Your marriage should make you happy.
REALITY: You need to make yourself happy! Your spouse is not your source of happiness – that must come from within yourself. Marriage can and should augment a person’s individual happiness, but it’s not what makes you happy.
MYTH #4: You should never go to bed angry.
REALITY: That’s unrealistic – there are times you will go to bed with an unresolved issue, one that still has you fired up at day’s end. It’s not great to be lying next to someone while seething in anger, but it does happen. The best strategy is to table things so you don’t feel like you want to murder him! Remind yourself of all the positive things about him; ideally, you’ll have a fresh eye in the morning. By the way, one of you sleeping on the couch for a night is not the end of the world if you need time to think. If that one night turns into days or weeks at a time, that’s a problem. But taking a break for a night to have a calmer conversation the next day just might be more productive.
MYTH #5: A baby will bring you closer.
REALITY: Parenting together is a wonderfully intimate experience that can indeed make a couple feel closer. But it’s so hard on the body, mind, and emotions! New parents are exhausted and constantly questioning whether they are doing things right. Often the woman feels she is doing waaay more than her fair share and is resentful and disappointed in her partner. Then there are the hormones – a woman’s body goes nuts during and after pregnancy! A couple would be wise to recognize that these are all just normal feelings after having a child, and they shouldn’t feel let down that they’re not head-over-heels in love with each other: Take a deep breath, reserve some baby-free time for one another, and know that this is simply a new stage in your long-term relationship.
MYTH #6: Your husband should be your best friend.
REALITY: If you think this way, you’ll be in for a big disappointment. Over the years, you definitely develop an amazing friendship with your spouse. But it doesn’t necessarily start off that way, and it doesn’t replace the need for friends in your life. A best friend is someone you go to the movies with, someone you have a lot in common with, someone you can talk to. A spouse is the one you can go through life with, depend on forever – that takes time, so don’t expect to be girlfriend-close with him right away. And you may not tell him everything – for some things you want a friend’s help. It doesn’t mean you are not close to your spouse.
MYTH #7: You shouldn’t fight in front of the kids.
REALITY: If you don’t teach your children how to disagree respectfully, who will? I feel strongly about this – it can be frightening for children to observe parents going at it, but it’s instructive for them to see you work out differences in a civil manner. Most people don’t fight fair – they call each other names and diminish each other. Children don’t know what to do and they mimic it – and then what have you accomplished? If you fight fair in front of the kids, then make up in front of them, they’ll see that this is a process. You have a responsibility to teach your children how to interact with others in both good times and difficult ones. As a bonus, if you learn how to fight civilly, you’ll probably fight less – you’ll learn how to come to solutions rather than argue.
MYTH #8: You shouldn’t worry if you’re not having sex.
REALITY: It’s true that people can be so busy, and so tired, that sex becomes just one more thing they have to do. Sometimes in every relationship the couple’s sex life goes on hold for a while. And every couple is different – some make love a lot, some less. But most people who have really good marriages do have a sex life. So if you’re not having sex, it is something to examine. The frequency and intensity may change as you get older, but you still need to get what you need. You don’t want to fall into a boring pattern in which you are no longer interested in your mate or want to share your life with him.
MYTH #9: Your spouse should know what you need without your having to say it.
REALITY: Nobody is a mind reader, and it’s unrealistic (and unkind) to expect someone to know your every thought and feeling. It is imperative to communicate what is going on regarding your thoughts, feelings, and your needs.
MYTH #10: You shouldn’t take your spouse for granted.
REALITY: Well, this is partially true – you don’t want to treat each other like old shoes! But you should be able to take certain things for granted – that’s what trust is all about. After all, if you can’t rely on your spouse, who can you rely on? Just remember that it works both ways: If you want to let your guard down and walk around in sweats, that’s okay – you can take for granted that he’ll still think you’re beautiful. But be sure to keep that in mind when you see him in the dirty T-shirt!
Dale V. Atkins, PhD, has more than 25 years of expertise as a relationship specialist helping couples and families. She runs a private practice in New York City.
“I’m The Present!”
As we were puffing away in one of the partners-exercises in Water Aerobics, my friend mentioned he would be heading up to Atlanta for the next couple weeks to visit children and grandchildren.
“Are you driving?” I asked between huffing and puffing.
“Nope, flying.” His answers were a lot shorter.
“You taking presents?” I asked, trying to keep my mind off my aching limbs.
“I AM the present!” he responded, and we both laughed.
When I was a kid, my favorite present was getting the small wrapped hotel soaps my Dad would bring back from his trips. To this day, I still like soaps!
Recent Comments
intlxpatr on Oh Thank You, Amazon! Rivergirl on Oh Thank You, Amazon! intlxpatr on Give to Those Who Ask ExpatAlien on What Country am I Living … intlxpatr on Yellowstone: Old Faithful to C… Wikipedia Donate Button
Amazina
Early Voting in Florida
Here There and Everywhere 