Bad Dream
Do you ever have a bad dream at night and you can’t shake it off? No more coffee for me after dinner!
The Qatteri Cat also had a restless night, and it was nearly dawn before we both drifted off into deepest sleep.
I dreamed I was living in a new place, a very spacious place, and then the doorbell rang and people came to deliver new furniture. It was like when I was an Army wife – I had no notification, and had not made any arrangements for where the new furniture would go. And yet the furniture was here and I had no choice and had to quickly make a place.
The furniture was awful! Awful! Stuff I would never have chosen in a million years, and I felt so depressed thinking “how am I supposed to live with this furniture? I don’t like this furniture!” And I wanted to send it all back.
Now that I write it down, it sounds absurdly funny, but I woke up feeling powerless and angry and sad all at the same time. Now what’s that all about?
One Step Beyond: Baan Sabaidee
We all have our limits. When it comes to food, my limits are farther out there than most – I like taste. I like most cuisines, or at least most of most cuisines. I do have my limits.
One limit is okra / ladyfingers/ bamyi:
One time, at a buffet in Jordan, I told my husband I was going back for something I found totally delicious, and he laughed and said “You know it is okra?” No, I didn’t know. I did go back and get a little more anyway, but it no longer tasted the same – I knew it was okra. It’s the texture; okra is, to me, slimy, gooey, in my mouth it gives me shudders. It’s like raw oysters. Shudder.
Deep fried okra in a spicy tomato sauce was OK – until I knew it was okra.
I was visiting with a friend, working on some projects and we decided to order out from a nearby newly opened Thai restaurant for lunch. She’s a crazy woman, like me. We are not alike – she says “tomahto” and I say “tomato” and somehow we get along just fine. We decided to order things we have never ordered before.
We ordered two safe things – the first was Gai Sate (chicken sate). It was gorgeous and delicious. The sauce is one of the best sauces I have had with Thai food, hot, sweet, and sesame. Delightful.
The second safe thing was Pad Thai, which was also beautiful and tasty:
We ordered Pad Ka Phrao, because we had never heard of it, and because it has basil leaves in it:
It was delicious.
We loved the way the food was packaged. The green curry and the soup was packed in sealed plastic sacks, inside the normal plastic containers. Not a single drop was spilled in the bag. I’m impressed. I love soups, and I hate the mess when soups spill in the bags:
This is the green curry (Gaeng Khew Wan). It is totally delicious.
You know me. I love fish. We had never tried the Tom Kling (smoked herb soup) so we ordered that, with grilled smoked fish. It came beautifully packaged, like the above curry. When we went to eat the soup, however, although it was delicious, I had to fish out the fish. I am not normally squeamish, but their little fishy eyes were too much for me:
AdventureMan and I later made a trip to find the restaurant. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth the trouble. Tucked back behind some of the behomoth apartments on the Southern Gulf Road, it only has maybe six tables, but it is tiny and exquisite. Someone went to a lot of trouble to make this little place beautiful and serene. Although it is a new restaurant, it was already packed when we got there, but a table opened up just as we arrived.
We asked for recommendations, and tried the Tod Mun (shrimp cakes) and a dish I loved. Pad See Ew, which was vermicelli noodles stir fried in soy sauce with shrimp. We also had the chicken sate again – delicious. We were busy watching other people with big pots of something in front of them, shared by groups. We have to go back and try that, whatever it was.
Their take out menu has a nice feel to it – heavy paper with good photos so you can guess what you are ordering:
And- the bonus – it has a map of how to get there on the back, so I don’t have to confuse you trying to figure out the directions:
If they are full, I noticed across the street is another branch of China Queen, one of the best kept secrets in Kuwait for Chinese food with authenticity.
Love and Money
I love this article, from the July 13 Business Section of the New York Times. The author looks at love from an analytic point of view. Good reading, interesting ideas. Altogether, a delightful and intriguing read.
By BEN STEIN
Published: July 13, 2008
AS my fine professor of economics at Columbia, C. Lowell Harriss (who just celebrated his 96th birthday) used to tell us, economics is the study of the allocation of scarce goods and services. What could be scarcer or more precious than love? It is rare, hard to come by and often fragile.
My primary life study has been about love. Second comes economics, so here, in the form of a few rules, is a little amalgam of the two fields: the economics of love. (I last wrote about this subject 20 years or so ago, and it’s time to update it.)
•
In general, and with rare exceptions, the returns in love situations are roughly proportional to the amount of time and devotion invested. The amount of love you get from an investment in love is correlated, if only roughly, to the amount of yourself you invest in the relationship.
If you invest caring, patience and unselfishness, you get those things back. (This assumes, of course, that you are having a relationship with someone who loves you, and not a one-sided love affair with someone who isn’t interested.)
•
High-quality bonds consistently yield more return than junk, and so it is with high-quality love. As for the returns on bonds, I know that my comment will come as a surprise to people who have been brainwashed into thinking that junk bonds are free money. They aren’t. The data from the maven of bond research, W. Braddock Hickman, shows that junk debt outperforms high quality only in rare situations, because of the default risk.
In love, the data is even clearer. Stay with high-quality human beings. And once you find that you are in a junk relationship, sell immediately. Junk situations can look appealing and seductive, but junk is junk. Be wary of it unless you control the market.
(Or, as I like to tell college students, the absolutely surest way to ruin your life is to have a relationship with someone with many serious problems, and to think that you can change this person.)
•
Research pays off. The most appealing and seductive (that word again) exterior can hide the most danger and chance of loss. For most of us, diversification in love, at least beyond a very small number, is impossible, so it’s necessary to do a lot of research on the choice you make. It is a rare man or woman who can resist the outward and the surface. But exteriors can hide far too much.
•
In every long-term romantic situation, returns are greater when there is a monopoly. If you have to share your love with others, if you have to compete even after a brief while with others, forget the whole thing. You want to have monopoly bonds with your long-term lover. At least most situations work out better this way. ( I am too old to consider short-term romantic events. Those were my life when Lyndon Johnson and Richard Nixon were in the White House.)
•
The returns on your investment should at least equal the cost of the investment. If you are getting less back than you put in over a considerable period of time, back off.
•
Long-term investment pays off. The impatient day player will fare poorly without inside information or market-controlling power. He or she will have a few good days but years of agony in the world of love.
To coin a phrase: Fall in love in haste, repent at leisure.
•
Realistic expectations are everything. If you have unrealistic expectations, they will rarely be met. If you think that you can go from nowhere to having someone wonderful in love with you, you are probably wrong.
You need expectations that match reality before you can make some progress. There may be exceptions, but they are rare.
•
When you have a winner, stick with your winner. Whether in love or in the stock market, winners are to be prized.
•
Have a dog or many dogs or cats in your life. These are your anchors to windward and your unfailing source of love.
Ben Franklin summed it up well. In times of stress, the three best things to have are an old dog, an old wife and ready money. How right he was.
THERE is more that could be said about the economics of love, but these thoughts may divert you while you are thinking about your future.
And let me close with another thought. I am far from glib about the economy. It has a lot of pitfalls facing it. As workers and investors, we know that many dangers lurk in our paths.
But so far, these things have always worked themselves out and this one will, too. In the meantime, they say that falling in love is wonderful, and that the best is falling in love with what you have.
Ben Stein is a lawyer, writer, actor and economist. E-mail: ebiz@nytimes.com.
Strange Bird
It’s the strangest bird. He settles on the balcony off my kitchen around dusk. It doesn’t bother him that I am inside moving around, preparing dinner. It doesn’t bother him in the least that the Qatteri Cat is jumping at the window and miow-ing wildly. When I bribe the Qatteri Cat to leave the kitchen, and I shut the door and take some bread pieces out to the bird, he doesn’t fly away.
He’s still there when I go to bed. He is there at 4 in the morning, when I can’t stand not knowing if he is there or not. When I get up – after dawn – he is gone.
I am glad he felt safe enough to spend the night on the balcony. I am also glad he was able to fly away the next morning – I was afraid he wasn’t well. Maybe stunned from flying into a window or something. Maybe (gasp) bird flu. It was a relief to know he flew away on his own power, and that he he was just spending the night on my balcony.
Ministry Conducts Demographics Study
This is from today’s Kuwait Times. I LOVE demographics. I love tagging factors, loading them all into a data base and seeing where the stats fall. You learn so much.
The Ministry of Social Affairs and Labor is studying effective means to rectify the country’s demographic imbalance. The ministry has reportedly reached the conclusion that the blend of different nationalities in Kuwait has proved detrimental to its societal fabric. One Arab nation’s expatriate population in the country has exceeded 300,000, sources say, which puts the states economic and political stability at great risk. Sources said that the matter is complicated and needs all the ministries’ undivided support.
Expatriates, it is felt, bring with them their own modern culture and customs which are alien to the local citizens, most of whom follow archaic customs deeply rooted in tribal practices. Expatriates are also accused of taking the law into their own hands without approaching the concerned authorities whenever they are confronted with a problem. It has also been observed that expatriates belonging to a certain nationality inhabit certain areas in droves, leaving security officials at a loss to change the situation.
As a move towards controlling the situation, the ministry is to form a permanent committee comprising officials from different ministries to scrutinize all the expatriates who arrive at Kuwait.
It will issue a fitness certificate to eligible expatriates on the lines of medical fitness test. Employers will then be able to decide whether to appoint those workers or repatriate them. The ministry also plans to come down heavily on expats who obtain jobs using illegal residence permits.
Hmmm. Rectifying the population imbalance might require giving up expatriate labor. What laborers do you want to give up? The largest number are probably doing low-skill level work – cleaning houses, cleaning the streets . . .Or do you want to give up those who are managing your stores, taking your orders in all the restaurants, cooking, taking care of the office chores?
I can guess which expatriates are bringing in alien modern customs and practices, but unless you are going to give up television, cable, the internet and travel . . . that train has probably left the station.
So which nationality has over 300,000 expats in Kuwait? And which nationalities “inhabit certain areas in droves?”
Who takes the law into their own hands?
Why Women Should Vote
“Courage in women is often mistaken for insanity.”
When I got this in the mail this morning, I had to smile. The woman who sent it to me is now in her 90’s. She was a mentor to me as a young woman, and she was a pistol. She taught me, over and over again, that women can do anything they put their mind to doing – that nothing can hold us back except ourselves. She’s a pistol. I want to be like her when I grow up. 🙂
It is always a shock to me to know that women in the United States have only had the right to vote for less than a hundred years. We take it for granted. We shouldn’t. We should make our vote a mighty force.
WHY EVERY WOMAN SHOULD VOTE
This is the story of our Grandmothers, and Great-grandmothers, as they
lived only 90 years ago. It was not until 1920 that women were granted
the right to go to the polls and vote.
Thus unfolded the ‘Night of Terror’ on Nov. 15, 1917, when the warden at
the Occoquan Workhouse in Virginia ordered his guards to teach a lesson
to the suffragists imprisoned there because they dared to picket Woodrow
Wilson’s White House for the right to vote. The women were innocent and
defenseless. And by the end of the night they were barely alive. Forty
prison guards wielding clubs and their warden’s blessing went on a
rampage against the 33 women wrongly convicted of ‘obstructing sidewalk
traffic.’
They beat Lucy Burn, chained her hands to the cell bars above her head
and left her hanging for the night, bleeding and gasping for air. They
hurled Dora Lewis into a dark cell, smashed her head against an iron bed
and knocked her out cold. Her cell mate, Alice Cosu, thought Lewis was
dead and suffered a heart attack. Additional affidavits describe the
guards grabbing, dragging, beating, choking, slamming, pinching,
twisting and kicking the women.
For weeks, the women’s only water came from an open pail. Their
food–all of it colorless slop–was infested with worms. When one of the
leaders, Alice Paul, embarked on a hunger strike, they tied her to a
chair, forced a tube down her throat and poured liquid into her until
she vomited. She was tortured like this for weeks until word was
smuggled out to the press.
So, refresh my memory. Some women won’t vote this year because–why,
exactly? We have carpool duties? We have to get to work? Our vote
doesn’t matter? It’s raining?
Last week, I went to a sparsely attended screening of HBO’s new movie
‘Iron Jawed Angels.’ It is a graphic depiction of the battle these women
waged so that I could pull the curtain at the polling booth and have my
say. I am ashamed to say I needed the reminder.
All these years later, voter registration is still my passion. But the
actual act of voting had become less personal for me, more rote.
Frankly, voting often felt more like an obligation than a privilege.
Sometimes it was inconvenient.
My friend Wendy, who is my age and studied women’s history, saw the HBO
movie , too. When she stopped by my desk to talk about it, she looked
angry. She was–with herself. ‘One thought kept coming back to me as I
watched that movie,’ she said. ‘What would those women think of the way
I use–or don’t use–my right to vote? All of us take it for granted
now, not just younger women, but those of us who did seek to learn.’ The
right to vote, she said, had become valuable to her ‘all over again.’
HBO released the movie on video and DVD. I wish all history, social
studies and government teachers would include the movie in their
curriculum. I want it shown on Bunco night, too, and anywhere else women
gather. I realize this isn’t our usual idea of socializing, but we are
not voting in the numbers that we should be, and I think a little shock
therapy is in order.
It is jarring to watch Woodrow Wilson and his cronies try to persuade a
psychiatrist to declare Alice Paul insane so that she could be
permanently institutionalized. And it is inspiring to watch the doctor
refuse. Alice Paul was strong, he said, and brave. That didn’t make her
crazy. The doctor admonished the men: ‘Courage in women is often
mistaken for insanity.’
Please, if you are so inclined, pass this on to all the women you know.
We need to get out and vote and use this right that was fought so hard
for by these very courageous women. Whether you vote democratic,
republican or independent party – remember to vote.
History is being made.
More Three Cups of Tea
The timing couldn’t be better. Thank you, Phantom Man, for sending a link to this New York Times article on Three Cups of Tea, from the July 13th New York Times.
By NICHOLAS D. KRISTOF
Published: July 13, 2008
Since 9/11, Westerners have tried two approaches to fight terrorism in Pakistan, President Bush’s and Greg Mortenson’s.
Greg Mortenson with Sitara “Star” schoolchildren. Photo: Fred R. Conrad/The New York Times
Mr. Bush has focused on military force and provided more than $10 billion — an extraordinary sum in the foreign-aid world — to the highly unpopular government of President Pervez Musharraf. This approach has failed: the backlash has radicalized Pakistan’s tribal areas so that they now nurture terrorists in ways that they never did before 9/11.
Mr. Mortenson, a frumpy, genial man from Montana, takes a diametrically opposite approach, and he has spent less than one-ten-thousandth as much as the Bush administration. He builds schools in isolated parts of Pakistan and Afghanistan, working closely with Muslim clerics and even praying with them at times.
The only thing that Mr. Mortenson blows up are boulders that fall onto remote roads and block access to his schools.
Mr. Mortenson has become a legend in the region, his picture sometimes dangling like a talisman from rearview mirrors, and his work has struck a chord in America as well. His superb book about his schools, “Three Cups of Tea,” came out in 2006 and initially wasn’t reviewed by most major newspapers. Yet propelled by word of mouth, the book became a publishing sensation: it has spent the last 74 weeks on the paperback best-seller list, regularly in the No. 1 spot.
Now Mr. Mortenson is fending off several dozen film offers. “My concern is that a movie might endanger the well-being of our students,” he explains.
Mr. Mortenson found his calling in 1993 after he failed in an attempt to climb K2, a Himalayan peak, and stumbled weakly into a poor Muslim village. The peasants nursed him back to health, and he promised to repay them by building the village a school.
Scrounging the money was a nightmare — his 580 fund-raising letters to prominent people generated one check, from Tom Brokaw — and Mr. Mortenson ended up selling his beloved climbing equipment and car. But when the school was built, he kept going. Now his aid group, the Central Asia Institute, has 74 schools in operation. His focus is educating girls.
To get a school, villagers must provide the land and the labor to assure a local “buy-in,” and so far the Taliban have not bothered his schools. One anti-American mob rampaged through Baharak, Afghanistan, attacking aid groups — but stopped at the school that local people had just built with Mr. Mortenson. “This is our school,” the mob leaders decided, and they left it intact.
You can read the entire article in the New York Times by clicking on the blue type.
Cat Quotes (Only for Cat People!)
Cat Quotes:
“Managing senior programmers is like herding cats.” –Dave Platt
“Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss
on your computer.” –Bruce Graham
“There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.” –Unknown
“Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never
forgotten this.” –Anonymous
“Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled
through snow.” –Jeff Valdez
“In a cat’s eye, all things belong to cats.” –English proverb
“As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.” –Ellen Perry Berkeley
“One cat just leads to another.” –Ernest Hemingway
“Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you
later.” –Mary Bly
“Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many
ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.”
–Joseph Wood Krutch
“People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life.”
–Faith Resnick
“There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned
by cats.” –Anonymous
“I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is
infinitely superior.” –Hippolyte Taine
“No heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome
me.” –Unknown
“There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and
cats.” –Albert Schweitzer
“The cat has too much spirit to have no heart.” –Ernest Menaul
“Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.”
“Time spent with cats is never wasted.” –Colette
“Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they
have many other fine qualities as well.” –Missy Dizick
“You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange
cats.” –Colonial American proverb
“Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for
what you want.” –Joseph Wood Krutch
more cat pictures
“I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.”
“My husband said it was him or the cat… I miss him sometimes.”
“Cats aren’t clean, they’re just covered with cat spit.
>>^,,^^,,^^,,^^,,^<
Cats don’t like being baptized.
A cat is always on the wrong side of the door.
A cat will always sit on whatever you’re trying to read.
A cat’s purr: The most effective stress medicine known.
Cats are quite good at domesticating humans.
Anything not nailed down is a cat toy.
Cats know Mom’s black suede gloves are giant tarantulas that need to be
killed.
Cats must attack their human’s shoelaces when they are tying them.
Cats must crawl into the dishwasher when it is full of clean dishes.
It’s always darkest before you step on the cat.
Cats must rub against your legs while you’re carrying two bags of
grocieries.
You’re not a real person until you’re ignored by a cat.
Three Cups of Tea
My best-friend-from-college and I were chatting the other day and I asked her “what are you reading?” because we have always exchanged book recommendations back and forth.
“I’m reading a biography of Teddy Roosevelt,” she started, and I groaned, because most of the time biographies don’t interest me that much. “And I am reading Three Cups of Tea . . . “ and I interrupted her (rudely) to exclaim “so am I!”
Three Cups of Tea is a must-read in the US. It was actually published in 2006, and has sold more and more books every month, and has been on the New York Times best seller list almost since it was published.
The book begins with a failure. A mountaineer, attempting a climb on K2 runs into problems, including evacuating two severely injured fellow climbers from the mountain. Exhausted, and devastated by his failure to capture the summit, he gets lost on his way back to the base camp, and ends up in a village where the people are very kind to him. He is treated as an honored guest, he regains his strength, and on his last day in the village, learns the children have no school. He rashly promises to come back and build a school for them.
One of the great redeeming features in this book is Greg Mortenson’s endless humility. He has a co-author, to whom he gave a long list of people he could talk with, including all his enemies and people who thought he was crazy. He’s that kind of guy. He talks about his life’s personal failures and his toughest moments, and he moves on.
He doesn’t take credit for the dogged persistence with which he keeps his promise, in spite of daunting obstacles. He doesn’t take any credit for the good will he builds.
Several years ago, I read another book which has changed my life, The Purpose Driven Life (which, by the way, the hardcover is $9.99 and the paperback is $10.19, go figure) in which the basic premise of the book is that we are each created uniquely, individually, by a loving creator, for a purpose. As I read Three Cups of Tea, I thought this man is greatly blessed; he discovered his purpose and nothing kept him from fulfilling it!
The book deserves every single one of it’s Amazon Five Star ratings.
I had a hard time putting the book down. Even though my life is full of other demands, once I had the chance, I spent an entire afternoon finishing this great book.
Greg Mortenson isn’t discouraged that his first school takes three years, and first he has to build a bridge. His second, third and fourth schools take just . . . three months! He has a gift for inspiring others, and people give what they can. The villagers give their time and their efforts, and western supporters donate funds.
By the end of the book, 24 school have been built, in the very poorest mountain villages in Pakistan, where money from the government for education doesn’t trickle at all, until near the end of the book. He doesn’t build the schools himself – he meets with the villagers, they donate a plot. He buys the materials, and together, they all build a school. These villagers are hungry for their children to become educated, to have a chance for a better life. Mortenson learns to focus on the girls.
He learns that as the boys become educated, they leave the villages for the city, but as the girls become educated, they come back, and like yeast, they raise the standard of living for the entire village, providing health care services and information, providing education for the newest crop of children, learning new skills, bringing them back and sharing them.
One of Mortenson’s gifts is that he isn’t interested in changing these mountain people into westerners. He likes them, and he learns from them, just the way they are. He dresses like them, he prays with them, he learns their language, and he has no western agenda for the curriculum in these schools. He also helps the government schools – building an additional room here for an overflowing school, paying a teacher’s salary there – his goal is to educate children. That’s it. No political agenda. The people of the villages love him for it, and give him their full support.
You cannot undertake a project like this without a lot of help. Mortenson had some extraordinary experiences, experiences that to me look like the grace of God, that drew together teams of people to help build and supply his schools.
“I looked at a sign in front of the school and saw that it had been donated by Jean Hoerni, my cousin Jennifer’s husband,” Bergman says. “Jennifer told me Jean had been trying to build a school somewhere in the Himalaya, but to land in that exact spot in a range that stretches thousands of miles felt like more than coincidence. I’m not a religious person,” Bergman says, “but I felt I’d been brought there for a reason and I couldn’t stop crying.”
A few months later, at Hoerni’s memorial service, Bergman introduced herself to Mortenson. “I was there!” she said, wrapping the startled man she’d just met in a bruising hug. “I saw the school!”
“You’re the blonde in the helicopter,” Mortenson said, shaking his head in amazement. “I heard a foreign woman had been in the village, but I didn’t believe it.”
“There’s a message here. This is meant to be,” Julia Bergman said. “I want to help. Is there anything I can do?”
“Well, I want to collect books and create a library for the Korphe School,” Mortenson said.
Bergman felt the same sense of predestination she’d encountered that day at the school. “I’m a librarian,” she said.
After struggling for many years, seeking donors who would help to build a school, Mortenson now has a foundation eagerly supported by many Americans, and especially the mountaineers, who continue to build schools. At the end of the book, the foundation is moving into the poorest sectors in Afghanistan, and building schools there. They have children’s programs in many of the schools in the United States, where children donate pennies to help pay for books for the schools, and for the teacher’s monthly salaries, where salaries are not reaching the teachers. You can donate to the school building fund, teacher’s salaries and books using your credit card, online, at the website Three Cups of Tea. You can order this book there, too, as well as music CD/s and learn more about the work being done.
Melanoma Rates Increase Among Younger Women
This is bad news from The Washington Post. You can read the rest of the article by clicking on the blue type.
By Rob Stein
Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, July 11, 2008; Page A01
Increasing numbers of younger women continue to receive diagnoses of the most dangerous form of skin cancer even as the rate of new cases has leveled off in younger men, federal health officials reported yesterday.
An analysis of government cancer statistics from 1973 to 2004 found that the rate of new melanoma cases in younger women had jumped 50 percent since 1980 but did not increase for younger men in that period.
“It’s worrying,” said Mark Purdue, a research fellow at the National Cancer Institute, who led the analysis published in the Journal of Investigative Dermatology. “What we are seeing in young adults right now could foretell a much larger number of melanoma cases in older women.”
The new research did not examine the reasons for the trend, but Purdue said it could be the result of such factors as women spending more time outdoors and engaging in indoor tanning. Young women are much more likely than young men to frequent tanning salons, Purdue and others noted.
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