Shaking Things Up
First, you have to understand how quietly AdventureMan and I live. He works long hard hours. He gets home, we eat dinner. Most nights we watch some TV together, usually some season of a program we enjoy.
But after dinner last night, we decided to take a walk, instead. While our family in the states is braving out a variety of winter storms, the weather here has become – WONDERFUL! There is a hint of freshness in the morning and evening, and while days are warm, they are comfortable. We walked our compound, enjoying ourselves thoroughly, looking at all the Christmas decorations, and Eid decorations still up. It was a great walk.
Once we came home, we settled in – or so we thought. We were about 15 minutes into the newest season of Lost when our doorbell rang, and a group arrived to give us a very special caroling session. It was so much fun – and thank goodness, I had some cookies on hand to share with the people who came caroling! It was a delightful and moving evening.
We settled down once again, and once again the doorbell rang, neighbors coming to tell us some very good news, a miracle, really, something we had all prayed for, and that they were going home briefly, and would see us in a week or so. We had a wonderful visit with them, were able to send them off with joy.
We looked at each other and grinned. All this was so totally out of the ordinary for our usual week-day nights, but wonderfully out of the ordinary. We like it when things get shaken up a little bit. 🙂
Baby Shower Diaper Cake
I wasn’t there. AdventureMan and I would have loved to be there, but it wasn’t possible. We spent Thanksgiving apart from our son and his wife. We also missed the BABY SHOWER! Her sweet aunts arranged a wonderful shower for them, and sent me a photo of the “diaper cake.” I don’t think this is a real cake . . . but I am not sure entirely what it is. I know only that it is adorable!
Doha Sunset
When I lived in Kuwait, every day I was thrilled by the sun coming up over the horizon. I never got tired of it.
Today, thanks be to God, I was out when the sun started getting low in the sky, and the colors have added dimensions – what a treat.
Some views of Doha at sunset:
Glorious View in Qatar
Yesterday I was invited to an all-gals party, and normally, I don’t accept any outside invitations on Friday, which is AdventureMan’s only day off the entire week, but this date was special, and I went, and I had a wonderful afternoon, full of laughs and good friendships.
When I walked in, I had a moment’s nostalgia for Kuwait, and my endless view from my mustard colored tower – this woman had the Qatar equivalent – the view that goes forever.
The windows were open, the breezes were blowing, the laughter was infectious and the food was delicious – what is not to love?
Only six years ago, when I first came to Qatar (almost seven years now) the building from which I took these photos didn’t exist. Looking north, only a few low buildings, the Intercon and the Ritz Carleton existed – and now, it’s almost like another Corniche in the making out at The Pearl. The speed with which this has happened is breathtaking.
Breakfast in the Souks
“I need a hundred camel spoons,” my friend said, and since we all sort of think on the same track, no one looked at me like I was crazy when I said “let’s all meet for breakfast, shop when the souks open and leave.”
In fact, they didn’t look at me like I was crazy for two reasons. One was that we really sort of think alike, and meeting for breakfast is just the kind of thing we don’t do often, but it is a good time to grab some time together in lives that get very busy later in the day.
The second reason is that we are all introverts, and three of us were doing most of this arranging by e-mail. We’re not really phone chatters, although every now and then we will dial, but it tends to be the exception rather than the rule.
The weather is perfect. You would be amazed how lovely and peaceful the souks are early in the morning. There are customers in the restaurants, but it is a very laid back time of the day.
For a significant sum – I can’t remember how much, but I think I remember like 80 QR – you can park in VIP parking. Me, I was there an hour, and paid QR4 (just a little over a dollar) I just wanted you to see the difference from plain old everyday common folk parking and the VIP parking (above.) (Those signs in front of the stores straight ahead say VIP Parking, and at night they are roped off with red velvet ropes)
We find a shady table and order breakfast, across the street guys are into their early morning hubbly bubbly, there are people sweeping up to be sure everything is Disney-tidy, and it really is. As we are sipping at our coffee, the mounted police come by. Their horses are gorgeous, with high bushy tails and beautiful dressings in Qatar’s blood red and white colors.
What I like even better is the police-riders. They are handsomely dressed, and they ride like cowboys – look at that posture, the way real horsemen ride, with that cowboy slump and the weight firm in the saddle. The horses aren’t big horses, but they have beautiful bones. I wonder where they stable these horses in the souqs?
On to find the Yemeni Honey Man, relocated from Karabaa / Electricity Street. The police help us find him, hidden back next to a metal kitchen crafter, and we see he has other old customers who have also found him. His new shop is shiny and clean, with great shelves for displaying his beautiful baskets from the Asir.
“Big troubles” he says, and I know he is right, many people are being evacuated from that area while the Saudis and Yemenis have problems near the border. One of his customers communicates to us with gestures that in our new baskets, we must pack our jewelry in the bottom, then our abayas, and then food, oud or honey on top, so people won’t know where we are hiding our jewelry.
My Kuwaiti friend told me that in his memory, before oil, people kept all their clothes in baskets like this, folded neatly. They didn’t have a lot of clothes, he told me, and then there were other baskets specially woven to hold food stuffs, and to keep the insects off the food. Those baskets are not the same as these sturdy baskets, the more local Kuwait and Qatteri baskets are woven from palm fronds, I believe, and you can still find them in the more traditional stores at the Souq al Waqef, behind where the Bedouin women sell foods on Thursday night and sometimes on Fridays.
Where to Start a Difficult Conversation?
“Mom,” my son started out, “I have some bad news.”
My heart sank. They are expecting a baby in late January. Please Lord, let this baby be OK.
He starts into a long story, which has to do with an old friend who lost a job, who is staying with them temporarily, who has been very helpful, and on and on and on; I live in a family where nuances are important, and details help understand the conclusions, but it is hard to hold your breath that long!
Then he gets to the point. While he and his wife were at work, the friend was in the house recovering from jet-lag and it started raining hard. His friend thought he heard drips in the attic, and upon exploration, they discovered a small leak in the roof. He will call the contractor we work with, but he wanted me to know.
Bad news?
“Son!” I said, laughing, “when you start a sentence with ‘I have bad news,’ it needs to be followed immediately with ‘I am OK, my wife is OK and the baby is OK’ so I don’t have a heart attack!”
We both laughed. He said “yeh, I thought about that about halfway through the explanation, but I didn’t want to break the train of thought.”
When you have bad news, get it out on the table. Start with “I have bad news, (fill in the blank.)” Then go into the background, and the proposed solutions. My son did everything right, except for the part about I was scared for him and his wife and the baby.
On the other hand, after all that build-up, I was so happy that it seemed like such a small problem, compared to the possibilities.
My husband tells a joke, the point of which is to build up gently to bad news. Not to start with “the cat is dead” but to start with “the cat was on the roof . . . ” The day came when I had to call him with some very bad news, and because I am wired to laugh in the face of the worst things that can happen (it is a sort of hysterical reaction, I have to work hard to control myself at funerals and weddings, I cry at weddings and want to laugh at funerals. The big things are just too overwhelming for me so I react inappropriately. Our family joke is that “inappropriate” is the grown-up word for “stupid”) I had a very hard time not starting off with “the cat was on the roof,” which would have been totally inappropriate but I was overwhelmed, knew I needed to let him know immediately, and you think when you get to be a grown-up you will have all the answers, but we don’t. We really don’t. Like you, we do the best we can.
What I really like was that when our son gave us the bad news, he also had a proposal for how to handle it. Wooo HOOO.
Then he told us they are planning their Halloween costumes. First, because his wife is now very visibly pregnant, they were looking for a cheap doll to take apart and glue some appendages coming out of her little basketball-tummy, but now they are looking for tentacles, a la “Alien”. LLLLOOOOLLLLL! I thought it would be the perfect occasion to wear her wedding dress, our son could wear a tuxedo and the friend could go as the angry-Papa, carrying a shotgun. Yes, we are a little weird in our family, but we have a great time.
Souk al Waqif: Soy Restaurant
I’ve heard mixed reviews of Soy, and since I love Chinese, Thai, Japanese, Vietnamese and Korean foods I was eager to give it a try. I’ve been twice, love the menu, love the chairs, and holy smokes, the place is HUGE.
I love the variety of restaurants in the Souk al Waqif, and it is nice to have this alternative. I will never order the Chinese set menu again, however. The main course, grilled shrimp, came with three delicious looking breaded shrimp on skewers. I carefully removed the tail and bit in – there was shell on the shrimp!
Maybe this is really authentic, I thought. Maybe real Chinese people eat the shrimp shell and all, but my lunch-mate scowled and called the waiter over and complained. “These breaded shrimp were deep-fried with their shells still on!”
The waiter disappeared, and we waited. He came back and told us that is the way they were cooked, every time. Well, OK, so we took the shell off and ate the shrimp, but you can bet money that we will never order that set meal again!
The set meals are a nice deal. 49QR takes care of a soft-drink (ironically, you pay for water, but the soft drinks come with the meal), and then your choice of one of three set meals – the Chinese, the Japanese or the Thai.
Back another time, I tried the Japanese, which I liked, except the Teriyaki chicken had barely any teriyaki taste. The miso soup was very good, the salad strange, and the green tea ice cream for dessert was good.
My lunch friend had the Thai, which had a very good soup, a strange salad, a very good main course and a good dessert, I think deep fried ice-cream.
I love the chairs. I love having comfy chairs with arms to eat in. I love it that the restaurant is huge, with lots of different dining areas, tucked away behind the other restaurants.
My favorite part of the set meals are the soups and the rice. Both are excellent.
Even after the Chinese shrimp disappointment, I would like to go back again and try ordering a la carte from the menu, to see how we like it. Even if a restaurant is uneven, often there are things they do really well, and if you stick with those things you can have a good dining experience. So my review is mixed, but it’s not like I am saying I will never go back. It was a good experience, and I want to give it another shot.
The Heart of Doha – Disney Does Doha?
“No, it’s not DOHALAND!” I snapped at my friend. ‘It’s called the ‘Heart of Doha’ project.”
We were exploring the project in it’s first phase, the destruction phase, which is turning old haunts into several circles of hell – shopping hell, driving hell, parking hell, disorientation hell. And just as we were inching our way into a new diversion, I saw the big sign describing the future this funky area of Doha and telling us to go to ‘Dohaland.com.’
Oops. I apologized profusely and she very humbly pretended not to be gleeful that she was right and I was wrong. Well, actually, we are both right. It is both ‘Dohaland’ and ‘The Heart of Doha,’ but I shouldn’t have snapped at her over something so inconsequential. Blame it on the rain . . . umm . . . .err . . . the traffic.
Dohaland. I’m sorry, it sort of cracks me up. It’s just like Disney – JungleLand, FutureLand, etc.
I remember when the Suq al Waqif project first started, how outraged I felt, and how delighted I am to go down there now, where the shop-keepers have electricity that is reliable, even air-conditioning wafting out into the corridors, the appearance of ancient woven mats shading the twisting cobblestone street which no longer reaches out and grabs your heels, or changes levels unexpectedly. How can you be a successful curmudgeon when it turns out so positively? Even if it is a little bit Disney-does-Doha, it is so attractive!
What I love about what has been accomplished so far is how it has enhanced the experience for everyone. If you go down into the souks, you see more people. You used to see only a few westerners, now you see all kinds, even tourists, even your neighbors; you see every nationality down in the souks now, and people are actually buying things, not just killing time. There is a great variety of shops and restaurants, and even if the parking spots are tiny, there is parking.
Have you visited the website yet? Dohaland.com? I love the vision, although in one shot with people in suits crossing the streets, I want to shout “Hurry! Hurry! Or you’ll get run over!”
Here is what it is going to look like – and you can go to the Dohaland website and get a great big full screen map:
And here is what it looks like now:
These machines are like huge dentist’s drills, with points that pound down into the hard-packed Qatar soil to break it up so that foundations can be built:
It’s not unlike house-cleaning. When you pull everything out of the closets, out from under the beds, the drawers, those piles of things in the corner, for a while everything looks worse than it did before you started. Slowly, slowly, you create areas of organization and calm amidst the chaos, and slowly, slowly those areas expand, join, until the chaos is eliminated, you know where things are, and your living area is a calm and peaceful and organized oasis. I hope I get to see that day in Doha.
Update: Dohaland AKA Heart of Doha is now known as Musherib
Mermaid Fabric
One of the things my friend and I were seeking on our Souk Quest was mermaid fabric. My friend has a grand daughter who loves to be The Little Mermaid, and I knew that the exact right fabric existed in the souk, I had seen it and didn’t have any excuse to buy it.
We found it. It is perfect – sea green, and shiny scales:
Doha is full of wonderful fabrics for dress-up.
Where Great Decisions are Made
Today, on my way home from a marathon-fun day, even though it was full of errands, I got to thinking great thoughts – in my car. Some of my best ideas come when I am sitting in traffic, something about the enforced nothing-to-do frees up my unconscious to tackle things I don’t otherwise think about.
One of the things I was thinking about was what, when I studied it, was called The Decision Making Process. It’s something you study in Political Science, and, although I can’t say this for sure because I haven’t specialized in these other areas, I am betting you would also study the process in Business, in Economics, in Engineering . . . when you know the process by which decisions are made, so the theory goes, you can get better at predicting how the decision making will go, what people will decide.
Or so the theory goes. . .
My personal observation is that human beings are highly unpredictable, and sometimes will make an opposite decision, even an irrational decision, in order not to be so predictable. I hate to be so cynical, but I think we are not so rational as we like to think we are.
In my Kuwait life, I remember being at a not-so-important meeting, more just a gathering, but at one point, I saw four people – influential people – meeting off in a corner, very casually, probably no one else even noticed, but they were deciding an outcome of an election, I realized later that day. OOps – not THE Kuwait election, my friends, no no no, a much lesser election. But that was where the decision was really made. These four quiet people were people who had the respect of others, and once they decided, they quietly shared their opinion with others, who shared their opinion with others and on it went, until the deed was done.
I have seen decisions made in a swimming pool. I know decisions are made on golf courses. I was hired for one job once after attending a concert, and for another because I had a responsible position in my church (it had nothing to do with the job I was hired for, but the skills were transferable.) I was hired once because my hair and eyes matched another woman working in the front office, and the boss wanted a “matched pair.” (I didn’t know that until later.)
I know that at one time AdventureMan helped lay out a military base. He said they were in a truck, and as they drove along someone dropped big stones out the back to mark the boundaries. Don’t you love it?
Gulf women tell me that weddings are important; young women are often spotted by future mother-in-laws, so moms try to make sure that their daughters are well appointed for major weddings, major events where they may be on display . . . and then they ask around checking on character and personality and suitability. But I wonder on what basis those decisions are really made, deep down? Family alliances? Securing a future? Business connections? I know there are rare alliances based on true and lasting love; I wonder how often that happens?
I know there are matrixes, and even simple two-column + – lists by which people can rationally work out what to decide. What I am cynical about – after all the matrixes are filled out, after all the plusses and minuses are totaled – I think that the decision can go counter to rationality, because we are – if not irrational – then intuitive, we are people who make decisions with other than our conscious minds. I think our hearts get involved, and you KNOW that feelings/emotions get involved. Sometimes we have “a gut feeling”; sometimes we know something on an unconscious level that we don’t know on a conscious level. If we all acted in our own rational self interest, there would not be young drivers dying on our roads, people would not be irrationally exuberant about investments, young people would not fall in love with the wrong people and life would sure a lot more dull, wouldn’t it?
I am cynical even about decisions made at the highest levels, because even decisions made by boards and after studies – even these decisions are ultimately based by human beings, and sometimes on “hunches.”
So I am wondering if YOU have had similar experiences? Have you seen major decisions made irrationally?
All this because I was stuck in traffic . . . .
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