Picoult and My Sister’s Keeper
I don’t know where I got the idea that Jodi Picoult wrote girly books, maybe because when you go to a bookstore there are so many of them? I just assumed they were romance and passed right by until several months ago, in a small used book store, I found one that was in the book club section, and those are usually pretty good reads. I bought it, but put off reading it, assuming it was an easy read, maybe I would read it on an airplane one day.
For some reason I moved it up, maybe I had heard a review or something. It moved to the bedside group, the “in line for immediate reading” group. At a time when we were particularly busy, I finished my other book and this was next, and I thought “Oh well, yes we are busy, but this will be light reading.”
I couldn’t have been more wrong.
This book, My Sister’s Keeper, is not light reading. It is a book a lot like We Need To Talk About Kevin one of the most terrifying and unforgettable books I have ever read. It is a book about motherhood, and parenting and tough choices. It is a book about how sometimes your entire life is yanked, and all the focus is on one area, to the detriment of others. It is a particularly tough book if you are a mother.
The main character, Anna, was conceived so that her stem cells, from the umbilical cord, will be used to help her sister, Kate, who has leukemia. Family life is chaotic, to say the least, as the vigilant parents’ attention is constantly on Kate, who suffers frequent relapses.
Picoult uses the voices of Anna, Kate, Jessie – the brother, a pyromaniac, Brian (the father), Sara (the mother), Campbell (Anna’s lawyer) and Jesse (Anna’s guardian ad litem) to tell the story.
Anna has approached Campbell, a lawyer, to achieve medical emancipation. She loves her sister, she has shared a room and her entire life with her sister, she has given stem cells, she has given bone marrow, she has been through several medical procedures to keep her sister’s cancer in remission, but at 13, she balks when expected to give one of her kidneys is a last ditch attempt that even the doctors have little expectation will succeed. She hires a lawyer.
Sara is a mother you would love to hate. You would love to grab her by the shoulders and say “Pay attention! You have THREE children, and two of them need your attention, too!” but something holds you back, and that something is the serious doubt you have about how you would handle the same situation. In extreme circumstances, people make the best choices they can, and when you are in extreme circumstances day after day, things start to fray, and then they start to fall apart. This family is past the fraying part, and we hold our breaths hoping they won’t fall apart.
It’s not a hard read because of the technical terms; this is a book where a 13 year old knows all the vocabulary of cancer, and we learn it, too. It flows naturally in the book.
Kate has acute promyelocytic leukemia. Actually, that’s not quite true – right now she doesn’t have it, but it’s hibernating under her skin like a bear, until it decides to roar again. She was diagnosed when she was two; she’s sixteen now. Molecular relapse and granulocyte and portacath – these words are part of my vocabulary, even though I’ll never find them on any SAT. I’m an allogeneic donor – a perfect sibling match. When Kate needs leukocytes or stem cells or bone marrow to fool her body into thinking it’s healthy, I’m the one who provides them. Nearly every time Kate’s been hospitalized, I wind up there, too.
None of which means anything except that you shouldn’t believe what you hear about me, least of all that which I tell you about myself.
Aha! We are reading a book with an unreliable main character!
It is a hard read because we all have families, and we all face tough decisions. There is a part of us that says “thank God we are not in this situation” and another part that says “there but for the grace of God . . . ” It is a tough book because we don’t know who we will become when life-changing circumstances hit us, we don’t know what choices we would make, because we are afraid, and because we don’t want to find out.
There are some surprises, though, and you will want to keep reading. There is a lot of love here, in the cracks between the tragedies. My Sister’s Keeper has three sets of sisters, and a lot of focus on that very special relationship. The men, too, come off well at the end.
Not an easy read, but a book that will stay in your heart for a long time.
Manly Cosmetics
I vacated my bathroom for houseguests recently, and as I was moving my toiletries back in, with wry amusement I noticed how many face creams I have. Creams for eyes, creams for lips, creams for night, creams for going out into the sun, creams for after having gone out into the sun, creams for day, creams for “noticable reductions in wrinkles in 7 days or less.”
(The problem is, seven days later when I am looking for a noticable reduction, I can’t really tell if it is working or not. I look, but I am wondering what I might have looked like if I HADN’T used the cream? I don’t know!)
And I was thinking about men, who have skin, too. Particularly I was thinking about Adventure Man, and what would it take for him to feel comfortable using a skin cream?
First – it would have to have a very manly name. None of this Homme stuff, it would have to imply that this is a product a RUGGED man would use. Like Manly Lather. “Lather” is a word that goes with men, like barbers lather up your face before they shave you. Women use foam, men use LATHER.
Another name I thought might work would be Extreme Unction because manly men like flying near that edge of the envelope, it’s a testosterone thing, and unction means anointing, like with an oil. If you are Catholic, you receive extreme unction just before dying, or before people think you are about to die, so even unction has an extreme connotation.
Maybe Braveheart? Maybe Rock?
Help me out here.
If you are a guy, (please, keep it clean) what kind of names would allow you to use a face cream with dignity?
If you are a gal (and rolling on the floor laughing) what names can you think of that would encourage a guy to actually USE a face cream?
Have fun with this!
The List
“I need to put that on The List,” I think to myself when I discover I am on my last deodorant. Actually, I discover I have already finished the last deodorant, but I think maybe I have one in my travel stuff, and I am right. I also have deodorant in the Seattle stash and in the Pensacola stash, and I usually stop one of those places before going anywhere else, so I feel safe using the travel deodorant.
Once I find something I like, I usually stick to it, until they reformulate it or make it “new and improved” in some way that I hate. I remember that I bought the deodorant when we were going to Saudi Arabia – hmmm. . . . about 10 years ago! I had been there, and I knew they didn’t have this particular kind which goes on clear, isn’t sticky, and has no scent.
Guess I must have overbought (you think?) After reading EniGma’s blog on Expiration Dates I even checked to see if deodorant expires, but there is no expiration date.
It took us nearly 20 years to use up all the dental floss I bought before we went to Tunis. Somehow, I had estimated one roll of dental floss per month, times 24 months. We were still using that dental floss when the drug store that sold it to us went out of business!
I can get most things I need here in Kuwait, but deodorant goes on “The List,” which is things I need to buy when I go back to the US for a couple weeks. I checked yesterday, and could not find a scentless, clear non-gel. I have enough to get me through till my next drugstore expedition.
The List exists between trips, and drives a lot of our stateside behavior. It’s like our own personal scavenger hunt. It’s mostly make-up, underwear/socks, specific clothing (a caramel colored long sleeved T-shirt), cooking goods we can’t find here (Chinese ginger tea), etc.
Last trip, I found the last item on my list on the last day I was there – I had bought a cat groomer for our son several years ago, and his cat loves it. It is like a very long bottle brush made into a rainbow, and as the cat rubs on it, it brushed excess fur out. I never round the exact thing, but I found something like it.
The Qatteri Cat is utterly indifferent. He doesn’t care that I used my last inches of suitcase space for something special for him.
And, when I get back to Kuwait, as I am unpacking, sometimes I think to myself “I wonder why I thought I needed this?” I find that I have an entire drawer full of candles I don’t use, cocktail napkins I don’t use, and shelves of books I need to give away or donate to a local library.
The reverse is that while I am shopping here, I also have a list, mostly a mental list, trying to find unique gifts to take back to people in the US. I have found a few things here, but locally made gifts are getting harder and harder to find.
My list is getting shorter. Mostly now it is dental appointments, well woman, etc. Maybe a new caramel colored, long sleeved t-shirt, surely a stop at the Lancome counter, but the less the list, the more time to just relax and enjoy the trip.
“Red” Vinegar
There is a vinegar used often for salad dressings, for marinades, for braising, called wine vinegar. It doesn’t have any alcohol in it, it is just vinegar, but usually in the Middle East you will find it called red vinegar.
So when I found it at the co-op, I grabbed it. It was dimly lit in there, but I could see that it was indeed red.
Can you see how red it is? Hmmmmm. . . . it’s sort of an odd color of red for wine vinegar . . .
In fact, the color is so wrong that I check the labels – and it is indeed, just “red” vinegar:
I’m not even going to use it. It’s not the same. It’s not the real thing. I don’t need red food coloring.
On the Horizon
Just another beautiful Kuwait sunrise – oh wait! What is that deep colored band on the horizon? And is anyone else having terrible allergy problems these days?
We Share the Road
Look closely. Look at the third set of wheels back, second set from the right. I know, I know, it is very difficult to see the tread. That’s because there is NO tread left on this tire.
Other tires on this truck were already shredding. Look, the one just in front of the bare-tread tire had some kind of exterior coating kind of thing on it, like a whole tire patch of some kind, also shredding. He is carrying a heavy load load. This is a disaster waiting to happen.
To my left is a police car.
I can’t remember? Is Kuwait the #1 most dangerous country for driving in the world, or the #2?
Kuwait Infant Mortality Rate
This very sad little item is from last week’s Kuwait Times:
Officials at the Ministry of Health disclosed that deaths among newborn infants were increasing at an alarming rate in Kuwait due to premature births and delayed deliveries over the past couple of years. The rate they said, touched 17.9 per thousand during the year 2006, in addition to the drastic decline in the quality of healthcare accorded to newborn infants. They called for urgent decisions to be taken to improve the healthcare for newborn infants.
Deaths among infants increased from 8.4 per thousand in the year 2005 to 9.1 per thousand during 2006.
The Jahra Governorate reported the highest rate of deaths among infants. Statistics indicated that 28.9 percent of the infants’ deaths were caused due to the short pregnancy period and inadequate weight of the infants when born and 17.2 percent were caused by various congenital deficiencies.
Jimmie Rodgers Follow Up
A commenter, Thomas, responded yesterday to an article about Jimmie Rodgers that appeared several months ago (You can read the first article by clicking the blue type above) with a reference to a radio interview with Jimmie. It is a total hoot – when the interviewer calls, you can hear all his dogs in the background, and he asks the interviewer to give him a minute to get all the dogs out of the room – evidence enough for me that he is up and about, and capable of living a full life once again.
If you’ll remember, Jimmie Rodgers was a popular singer who, after a bad accident, had a metal plate put in his head. Years later, he was having it removed, and it was a highly risky operation. His family asked for the prayers of the people – and by a miracle, the operation was far easier than expected, and a total success.
You can hear the entire radio interview for yourself by clicking Jimmie Rodgers Radio Interview.
Many thanks, Thomas.
Ayb! Ayb!* Parking Hall of Shame
I am not outraged just because I passed up these two spots, both empty, once I saw the sign, which you will notice is in Arabic, English and just in case you can’t read, also in sign language. NO PARKING!
I am not outraged just because only about 20 feet from these two spots are also parking spots, it just means walking a few more feet in the hot sun, no, not rock star parking, but not like walking a couple hundred meters, either.
I am outraged because these were WOMEN. WOMEN! We know better! We have aging mothers and children, we sometimes NEED special treatment, but these women who parked here were both ample and able. Actually, in the first photo, I was so angry, I had the women as they got out of their cars, but I took a deep breath, and decided that would NOT be a good idea in case I ever want to go here again. They might beat me up! They might arrest me for insulting them!
But I am insulted. This is Ramadan, people are fasting, and it is hot hot hot, even though it is cooling down a little. Women faint, men get electrolyte imbalances, and people need ambulances. THIS is AMBULANCE PARKING.
There is something in each of us that believes in variations of Locard’s Exchange Principal where anytime two people come into contact they exchange some physical matter, no matter how small. On some level, when we say “what goes around comes around” we are applying the same physical properties to the spiritual world, and why not? Are we not taught that we are to treat our neighbors as we would want to be treated?
So my fear for these women who would park in an ambulance spot is that one day they would need an ambulance, and find that the ambulance cannot park because someone is parked in the ambulance spot. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
*Shame! Shame!
Breast Cancer Risk Increases with Age
From BBC Health:
60% ‘unaware of cancer age link’
Most British women are unaware that breast cancer risk increases with age, a poll suggests. A survey of 1,000 people by charity Breast Cancer Care found nearly six out of 10 women did not know getting older was a strong risk factor.
More than 44,000 people are diagnosed with breast cancer each year in the UK and 80% of all cases occur in over-50s.
Experts said many young women can worry unnecessarily while older women do not realise they are at risk.
The poll found that 58% did not know that the older they get, the higher their risk of breast cancer.
It’s extremely alarming that most women over 70 do not take up breast screening, as this increases the likelihood that any breast cancer they may develop is found at a later stage
Women aged 18-24 were better informed. But 65% of women aged 45-54 knew there was a strong link between getting older and risk of the disease.
You can read the rest of the article on BBC Health.
I have to admit, I am one of those who thought that if you didn’t get it like in your 40’s or 50’s, you weren’t likely to get it. I don’t know why I thought that – maybe because there is so much horror in women getting breast cancer young, and we are more aware of the loss. I was shocked to learn that the older we get, the higher the risk. Aaarrgh.
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