Hokey Pokey Cat
My latest giggle from I Can Has Cheezburger? I know it looks like the Qatari Cat, but it is not.
moarfunny pictures
Science Exam Answers
When my son was in school and we would talk about school and grades and tests, I told him “tell the teachers what you know, even if you don’t know the answer to the question, sometimes you get partial points. Don’t leave a question blank, especially on written exams.” Rarely are you penalized for guessing, or for wrong answers.
Here are some delightful answers children came up with on science exams. (Thank you, KitKat, for passing these along to me.)
Subject: Science Exam Answers
If you need a laugh, read through these
Children’s Science Exam Answers.
These are real answers given by children.
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which
water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink
because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand,
dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes
them perspire.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and
the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon,
because there is no water on the moon, and nature
hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this
fight.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on
the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you
get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches
puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks
forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with
cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: How are the main parts of the body
categorized? (e.g., abdomen).
A: The body is consisted into three parts –
the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity.
The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains
the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity
contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does “varicose” mean?
A: Nearby. (I do love this one…)
Q: Give the meaning of the term “Caesarean
Section”
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in
Rome.
Q: What does the word “benign” mean?’
A: Benign is what you will be after you be
eight.
Halloween Warning
When you eat too much candy, bad things happen.
This is so gross, and too funny.
Not for people with a weak stomach.
A Moment for Mirth
As we complain about traffic, write passionately about the environment, and wonder what on earth is going on with our government(s) (What? you thought it was just Kuwait?) and even worse, as we start to talk about the good old days, back in the day . . . whoa! Oh no! We are starting to sound . . . like our parents!
So, for a moment of fun, take a look at a song from a very old musical, The Music Man, set over a hundred years ago, where he talks about the new phenomenon corrupting the youth of the country. Watch how the parents get all worked up. And remember – it is all part of his agenda.
He’s Take-Away
This is for someone very special – hope it gives you a good laugh today.
YOU are dinner by candlelight; he’s take-away. 😉 OK, OK, he can redeem himself, but it has to be substance, not drama.
Seen on Tombstones
In my mailbox this morning:
A truly Happy Person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour. And, one who can enjoy browsing old cemeteries… Some fascinating things on old tombstones!
Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
Born 1903–Died 1942.
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down.
It was.
=============================
In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up and no place to go.
=============================
On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:
Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102.
Only The Good Die Young.
=============================
In a London, England cemetery:
Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid but died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767
=============================
In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread, And the Lord sent them manna.
Clark Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna.
===============================
In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here lies Johnny Yeast… Pardon me for not rising.
===============================
A lawyer’s epitaph in England:
Sir John Strange.
Here lies an honest lawyer, and that is Strange.
=================================
In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune.
==================================
On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
Under the sod and under the trees,
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there’s only the pod.
Pease shelled out and went to God.
==================================
In a cemetery in England:
Remember man, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, so shall you be.
Remember this and follow me.
To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
To follow you I’ll not consent …
Until I know which way you went.
The Qatteri Cat Loves Ramadan
We could hear the Qatteri Cat up last night, roaming around. He would “miaow” loudly, greeting our neighbors as they returned from the night-long prayers in the mosque. We can hear QC eating suhoor (before sunrise meal). When we got up, he looked as us groggily as if to say “you guys are crazy.”
The last days of Ramadan are tough, what with social events, feasting, and nightly prayers. Many are suffering from over-eating, lack of sleep, and unbalanced blood sugars during the day.
The Qatteri Cat’s got it made. This is his strategy for the last few days of Ramadan:
Idiot Custom Paint Job
I couldn’t resist. I carry my camera with me, and this was too good to pass up.
Just a car? Look again. You may not be able to see all the pink sparkles sprayed on, but they twinkle and sparkle in the sun. And this is a GUY driving a pink sparkly car.
But whoever he hired to do this – or did he do it himself? – was a genius. He also sprayed the tail lights and the back windsheild – did you see that?
Idiots!
The Onion: Bomb New York
First, folks, this is SATIRE. It’s from The Onion which is pure spoof on news. (Thanks Skunk, for the Utube location!)
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