Jennie Wants My Help, Sent Photo
I am willing to bet that some poor woman shared this photo somewhere, and the Nigerian scammer lifted it to include with this e-mail. If you want a hilarious read, check out I Do Not Come to You By Chance, by Nigerian author Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani.
msmzd456f456f46546@msn.com
Hello Dear,
With due respect and humanity, I am writing this mail with tears and sorrow to seek for your assistance regards to my present conditions since the death of my parents. My name is Miss Gwen Jennie, 21 years old Female, from Monrovia Liberia in West Africa presently seeking asylum in Dakar Senegal as a refugee.
I am now writing to seek for your assistance from Dakar Senegal where I managed to escaped to a nearby country through the help of United Nation authority and now seeking asylum in Dakar Senegal as a refugee,
I lost my parents and want you to stand as my foreign trustee to Receive this money from the bank Five Million United State Dollars deposited with a reputable bank in Madrid Spain while am the rightful next of kin to the deposited fund in Madrid Spain.
I tried to get this money out from the bank in Madrid Spain, but the bank management refused because of my age and present status as refugee, Now the bank management asked to look for a reliable partner abroad who can stand on my behalf and retrieve the fund and I shall send you the fund deposited documents and other information’s as soon as i hear positive news from you,
Please help me i am ready to give you anything from this total money Please if you can help me try to reply me urgently as i will explain more to you and we can discuss fully and God will always bless you for your help which I know you shall never regret.
Reach me faster on my Alternate email for security reason
Email gwenjennie0@yahoo.com
Hoping to hear from you soon
From
Jennie,
A Stalwart Falls
“Are you catching colds?” our friend asked as the funeral ended.
“No, no, I said, funerals just find us very vulnerable, and we have to deal with losses, past, present . . . and future. We have an ongoing fight over who is going to bury whom.”
We did not know the man well who had died, but we knew him as a stalwart. He was a greeter and usher at our service, and he was only rarely ever not there. He served the church. He was always there. I had asked his wife to help me with tickets, and she had laughed and said “of course, I’ll be there because my husband will be there, and if you need me just holler.”
They weren’t there. It made me uneasy, it nagged at me. I didn’t need her, but I missed her, and as I said – they are ALWAYS there. Sometimes it’s what is missing that catches your attention. It caught mine.
When I learned her husband had died, suddenly and unexpectedly, just as the Antique Fair was starting, it came almost as a physical blow. It’s not that I knew him that well. It’s that his presence at the church was something we took for granted, he was stalwart. You could count on him. We attended out of respect, respect for him, support for his wife.
And I know that the two of them spend (spent) as much time together as AdventureMan and I do. I don’t like to think that it could happen to me, that I could be suddenly left. AdventureMan was a military man, he would often leave, all these years, and he might tell me where he was going but I never knew for sure where he was going. We had a code to use if he was lying, but although he never used the code, I know there are times he lied, all for that bitch, national security. Yes, yes, I know, strong language from Intlxpatr, but strong times call for strong language. We both knew that there were times when there was a risk he wouldn’t come back.
We didn’t have to deal with death a lot in our life abroad. Of course, in the military, everyone is young. In all the countries where we worked in the Gulf, there were upper age limits – people retired and people left; you can’t live out your years in Qatar or Kuwait, there are laws against it. You can’t even be buried there without special permission. We learned to deal with the losses of people coming into our lives and leaving, but we didn’t have to deal with the great finality of death. We’re learning.
AdventureMan insists he is going to go first. I am tough in a lot of ways, but I don’t know that I am tough enough to go through his funeral. The very thought of it makes me sick to my stomach.
He tells me not to worry. He wants a Viking funeral; he wants to be sent out in a kerosene soaked ship and for archers to set it on fire as it sails off, disintegrating in flames. Isn’t going to happen, AdventureMan, but if it did, I might give some thought to pitching myself on the ship as it departs . . . otherwise, I’m afraid I might live the rest of my life as the one of the walking wounded.
Ms. Rebecca L. Morgan Wants to Make Sure I Get My 10.5M
What do you want to bet that those fees are whoppers? 🙂
From: MS REBECCA L.MORGAN service@un.com
From: Ms.Rebecca L.Morgan
Att:Dear Friend .
This is to inform you that I came to Nigeria yesterday from USA,after series of complains from the FBI and other Security agencies from Asia, Europe,Oceania, Antarctica,South America and the United States of America respectively,against the Federal Government of Nigeria and the British Government for the rate of scam activities going on in these two nations.
I have met with President GoodLuck of Nigeria who claimed that he has been trying his best to make sure you receive your fund into your account through their reserve account in USA.
Right now,as directed by our secretary general Mr. Ban Ki-Moon,We are working in collaborations with the Nigerian Economic and Financial Crime Commission (EFCC) and have decided to waive away all your clearance fees/Charges and authorize the Government of Nigeria to effect the payment of your compensation of an amount of $10.5M approved by both the British/United States government and the UN into your account without any delay.The only fee you are required to pay in other to confirm your fund in your account is COURT NOTARIZATION FEE to the UN.
Sincerely,you are a lucky person because I have just discovered that some top Nigerian’s/African’s and British Government Officials are interested in your fund and they are working in collaboration with One Mr.Ben S.Bernanke,FAKE FBI and others from USA to frustrate you and thereafter divert your fund into their personal account.
I have a very limited time to stay in Nigeria here so I would like you to urgently respond to this message with your full name, full address,direct phone number so that I can advise you on how best to confirm your fund in your account within the next 72 hours.
Sincerely yours,
Ms.Rebecca L.Morgan
United Nations Under-Secretary
General for Internal Oversight.
Promises, Promises (Lies, Lies!)
West Virginia is one of the poorest – and most beautiful – of the 50 United States, green with forests and uninhabited spaces. It also has pockets of some of the poorest people in the United States. It is a state which accepts that which other states might find unacceptable. And when the chemical spill poisoned the water of thousands of people, Freedom Industries, the responsible company, declared bankruptcy.
Even today, while their water has been declared OK, people say it tastes funny, and chemists have found unacceptable traces of chemicals that other tests were not even measuring. Today, we have this report that the spill was much worse that the company originally reported.
Its sad, and it is disheartening.
In Florida, there are constant proposals for land use restrictions being lifted. The military, the companies – they all promise that this (whatever) will have no impact on the environment. Why, no one could be more environmentally responsible than (_______) fill in the blank with whatever the requestor is.
Yeh. Right.
My guess is that if the true cost of the BP oil spill in the Gulf were known, it would bankrupt BP.
The West Virginia Department of Environmental Protection issued an update on Monday evening indicating that the Elk River spill in West Virginia earlier this month involved more gallons of chemicals than previously reported.
Freedom Industries, which owned the tank that leaked into a river supplying water in the state, now says that approximately 10,000 gallons of the chemicals 4-methylcyclohexane methanol (also known as MCHM) and PPH were released. The company initially said 7,500 gallons spilled, and failed to disclose the presence of the second chemical until last week. The leak, first reported on Jan. 9, left hundreds of thousands in the capital region without access to tap water for days. Though the formal advisory on the water has been lifted, some in the region say they are still concerned about the safety of their water.
The DEP’s press release provides Freedom Industries’ newest estimate, but notes, “It is not known how much material spilled into the Elk River and shut down the drinking water supply for citizens across nine West Virginia counties.”
“We are not making any judgment about its accuracy,” DEP Secretary Randy Huffman said in a statement, referring to the company’s latest spill figure. “We felt it was important to provide to the public what the company has provided the WVDEP in writing. We are still reviewing the calculation, and this is something that will be researched further during the course of this investigation.”
“This is the first calculation that has been provided concerning the amount of materials that spilled on Jan. 9,” Huffman said. “This new calculation does not change any of our protocols in dealing with this spill, nor does it affect the ongoing remediation efforts. Our actions have never been dependent on what Freedom has reported to us. From the start, we have acted aggressively to contain the spill and remediate the site.”
West Virginia Gov. Earl Ray Tomblin (D) has called for the storage facility to be torn down, and for a full remediation of the site.
Expat Teacher Murdered In Qatar After Night of Clubbing?
Qatar expats shocked after UK teacher’s suspected murder
By Yolande KnellBBC News, Doha, Qatar
Lauren Patterson had gone to a nightclub with a friend before she went missingThe suspected murder of a young primary school teacher from south-east London has deeply upset British expatriates living in the Gulf state of Qatar.
However, two weeks after Lauren Patterson disappeared following a night out in the capital, Doha, officials have given few details about her disappearance.
DNA tests have been carried out on the remains of a body found in a remote area of desert but the results have not yet been released.
At the Newton British School, where Ms Patterson worked, one mother paid tribute to a talented teacher who she said had been a favourite of her little son.
However, staff refused to comment, saying they had been advised not to.
“We’re a small, close-knit community and we’re all in deep shock,” explained headteacher Katherine Dixon. “We are dealing with small children here.”
Security camerasWhen 24-year-old Ms Patterson went out on 11 October she had just returned from a trip home to the UK for her grandmother’s funeral.
She and a female friend decided to go to Club 7 on the seventh floor of the luxury La Cigale Hotel.
It is a popular venue where all nationalities mingle on the dance floor as DJs play ambient house music.
Groups sip cocktails around low tables decorated with colourful, illuminated ice buckets.
Everyone entering the club has their ID checked and they are watched by burly bouncers and security cameras.
It is believed that in the early hours of the morning, the two women left with two local men they knew who had offered to drive them home.
Ms Patterson’s companion was dropped off safely but she went missing.
The alarm was raised by her friend who called the police the next day.
Arrests
Reports say a falconer found a badly burnt corpse shortly afterwards. Two suspects were detained although no details about them have been confirmed.
Public prosecutor Mohammed Rashed al-Binali says violent crime is “very rare” in QatarThe case has been referred to the attorney general.
“Violent crime is very rare in Qatar,” public prosecutor, Mohammed Rashed al-Binali told me in his smart office surrounded by shining skyscrapers in central Doha.
“We are continuing to investigate the case. We cannot give more details at the moment but the Ministry of Interior did arrest the suspects within 24 hours.”
Alison Patterson has flown to Doha and is awaiting further news about her daughter.
She told the BBC she would only make a statement “when I feel the time is right and I have received all the information concerning Lauren”.
Meanwhile, the British Foreign Office says it is providing the family with consular assistance.
Qatar, which will host the 2022 World Cup, is generally considered one of the safest places in the Middle East for Westerners.
The tiny, but very wealthy Gulf state, which is the biggest exporter of natural gas in the world, relies heavily on its growing foreign workforce.
It now has some 17,500 British residents. Most are attracted by the high living standards and high tax-free salaries.
Yet work permits can be easily revoked and this makes employees from overseas very wary of upsetting the authorities.
While Qatar has recently supported opposition movements pushing for greater freedom across the Arab world, the nation itself remains very conservative and tightly controlled.
Scam Letters are Getting More Upscale
I hope you enjoy this scam letter as much as I did. Grammar and phrasing – actually not bad. Punctuation – dead giveaway. Addressing it to “Beneficiary” – just stupid.
Attention Beneficiary,
How are you today? Actually, you may not understand why this message
came to you. We have been having a several meeting and investigations in
Africa base on a series of petitions received from some beneficiaries like
you, which just ended two days ago with the former secretary to the
UNITED NATIONS, Mr. Kofi Ana, European Union, Arab States Rep,
Asian Nations Rep, World Bank President, Jim Yong Kim and with
acknowledgement of USA President Barack Obama. This message is to all the people that have been scammed in any part of the world because of
contracts, inheritance, award payment execution, This includes people
that may have not yet received their payment or people that had an
unfinished international businesses transaction that failed due to
Government problems, both for People that lost their relative’s in Middle
East War/natural disaster victims also with people that has spent time in
contribution to growth of humanity and less privileged. The United
Nations Compensation Commission Board of Trustees in Affiliation with
World Bank Auditors has agreed to compensate each with the sum of
US$150,000.00 Dollars.
We found your name in the list of those who are to benefit from these
compensation exercise and that is why we are contacting you as an ATM
Cash Card Valued at US$150,000.00 (One Hundred and Fifty Thousand
United States Dollars) has been accredited in your favor, this have been
agreed upon and have been signed. Note, You are advised to contact Mr.
Martins Jonathan Jr. our appointed United Nations Representative in
Africa at the given contact details below: Your Payment file code is: 2125:
Call him now that you received a message from me to contact him for
your ATM CASH CARD.
Contact Person: Mr. Martins Jonathan Jr:
E-mail: martinsjonathan1957@yahoo.es Tel: +234 816 6635108
I apologize on behalf of my organization for any delay you might have
encountered in receiving your fund in the past. Thanks and God bless you
and your family. I look forward to hear from you as soon as you confirm
your ATM CASH CARD. Making the world a better place. We the peoples.
A stronger UN for a better world.
Yours Sincerely.
Mr. Jim Yong Kim
World Bank President
U.N Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon FOR: Auditor General to the Committee USA
WORLD BANK
AUDITORS
SIGN………… DATE……
Qatar Congestion Eases (FAIL)
This totally cracked me up; the Qatar Gulf Times publishes an article about how smoothly traffic flowed on the day the Indian schools opened, noting that Arab and Independent schools will open on succeeding days. They published this photo with the article:
Morning rush hour traffic on a Doha street yesterday. PICTURE: Najeer Feroke.
LLLOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
USPS Scam
One tiny word, one great big tip-off. It’s almost always in the prepositions 🙂
From Courier Ethan Reilly ethan_reilly44@malagaserviciotecnico.com
Maddening Scam
I keep getting these. It is so annoying. While it says it is from AOL Services, it is really from chuckdeez@aol.com. I never click on the hypertext, but I am willing to bet that he wants my personal information, like my credit card number, etc. These e-mails just frost me.
Dear Customer,
Your E-mail account has exceeded its limit and needs to be verified, If not verified within 24hrs, we shall terminate your account.
Click Here
Thanks,
AOL Mail Privacy Policy | AOL Privacy Policy | Web Beacons in Email
Please do not reply to this message. This is a service email related to your use of aol Mail.
AOL is located at 701 First Avenue, Sunnyvale, CA 94089
FaceBook and Iran TV Media
When I get something like this, my immediate reaction is concern: “when did I indicate a ‘like’ for Iran TV Media? When did I sign up for this service?”
Oh wait. I didn’t!
Aha! There is a little barely noticeable option here, “This is SPAM”
Click.
Gone!
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