The Upside Down Day
Yesterday was a totally upside down day, where I never really knew what to expect. First, my husband was already up when I woke up, and when he heard me stirring, came into the bedroom with his great big smile and shining eyes and said “Let’s go to the Early Bird for breakfast!”
I laughed, and dropped my morning routine and plans to enjoy this delightful surprise. Quickly dressed, we were out the door well before seven, even well before sunrise. As we drove into Fehaheel, I managed to catch the sunrise, although I didn’t see it until this morning when I finally had time to sit down and organize myself. This is for you, Daggero, yesterday’s icy morning sunrise!
Believe me, that shot is a surprise – we were at a stoplight, briefly, and I shot it through the window, not the ideal way to shoot a sunrise. Lucky shot, beautiful day.
The Early Bird was closed! Closed through today! What to do!? AdventureMan remembered seeing a small place deep in the heart of Fehaheel, and we’re in Fehaheel, it is not yet seven ayem and the streets are empty. We drove to the “Arabic Early Bird” and miracle of miracle, on a street that teems with traffic day and night, at 0h-dark-thirty in the morning, it is open and there is a beautiful parking spot, a LEGAL spot, available. We take this as a sign that we are meant to have breakfast there.
Indeed, the cook is ready, and already has betinjan (eggplant) and felafel all fried up for us – YUM!
The waiter brings us all kinds of goodies, most of which are totally delicious. This is my first time eating tomato scrambled eggs, which Mishary wrote about in Some Contrast sorry I can’t find the original article, but he shows you how to cook them. I think he used 12 eggs! Some of the pickles are strange to our taste, but the food is hot and fresh and delicious, and washed down with hot tea.
More food that we could eat! When we got the bill, it was KD 1.750. What luxury! 🙂 What a great way to start the day, in every way not what we expected.
Family Crisis
The Gospel reading for today details a family crisis. We grow up with these words, we know them by heart, but it is only living in the countries near where Jesus was actually born that I have come to ponder these words in my heart, and try to imagine what it meant in Mary’s time.
Matthew 1:18-25
18 Now the birth of Jesus the Messiah* took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. 19 Her husband Joseph, being a righteous man and unwilling to expose her to public disgrace, planned to dismiss her quietly. 20 But just when he had resolved to do this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, ‘Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. 21 She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.’ 22 All this took place to fulfil what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet:
23 ‘Look, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son,
and they shall name him Emmanuel’,
which means, ‘God is with us.’ 24 When Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him; he took her as his wife, 25 but had no marital relations with her until she had borne a son;* and he named him Jesus.
Living in Jordan, living in the Gulf has helped me so much to understand the context in which this birth took place. In America today, it is still hoped for that women will be married when they have children, but it is not taken for granted. No one goes out and kills a daughter or sister who has had sexual relations with a man before she is married. Parents don’t disown daughters who conceive before the vows are publicly exchanged.
Even now, in the Middle East, most expect women to be virgin at marriage, and to conceive only after the formalities of marriage. There are steep penalties to be paid for varying from that route. Banishment. Death. Dishonor. A bastard child, if she lives that long. These are all things Mary was facing as she entered her earliest months of pregnancy. Joseph had decided to set her aside – not to marry her. He was a decent man, but a man of the times, he didn’t want a pregnant bride. The angel comes – he tells Joseph that this baby is special, conceived of the Holy Spirit, that Mary remains virgin. And miracle of miracles . . . Joseph listens.
What a courageous woman. What a courageous man.
Christmas Ornaments from Here, There and Everywhere
Ten years ago when we put almost our entire life into storage, we had no idea we would be gone this long. We had no idea we would live in four different countries, and that we wouldn’t see our things again for lo, these many years.
Our first contract, I was allowed one thousand pounds. Do you know how little one thousand pounds is? Think clothing, think basic necessities – 1000 lbs. just isn’t very much.
I packed just a very few Christmas ornaments, figuring I could pick things up along the way. Fortunately for us, the next country, after Saudi Arabia, was Germany, the land of Christmas ornaments. Our tree is eclectic. It’s not necessarily a tree with appeal to anyone else; it is a very personal Christmas tree, with lots of memories and stories. Lucky for you, I won’t bore you will all of them. 😉
We are sentimental. When we can, we decorate the tree together, and we remember with each ornament. . . When he was young, our son would get so impatient with us, and our remembering!
Here is the very first ornament our son ever made in school – it is a dreamcatcher; his teacher was very into the American Southwest and American Indian traditions:
We met and married in Heidelberg, so we always have that ornament with us:
My ties to the Pacific Northwest:
AdventureMan’s love of Africa and the Middle East:
Religious symbols:
Beautiful German antique silver walnuts and pinecones:
And memories of places we’ll remember . . .
Whew! I’m tired, too! Think I will go join the Qatteri Cat in a catnap!
Seattle Sunset
“Quick! Look! Look at the sunset!” AdventureMan pulls over. “Don’t you want a photo for your blog?”
We’ve both still got colds and I am tired. At this point, I just want to get home. But . . . he is right, it is a glorious sunset.
Yes, that is me holding the camera.
When we got to the airport to pick up our Seattle rental, the helpful, courteous man behind the counter asked if we would like a small SUV.
“For the same price?” I asked. Part of me remembered by May rental when I ended up paying $70 every time I filled the tank.
“Same price, small Jeep” he said with a smile, and handed me the folder.
When we got to the rental cars, it was not a small Jeep. It was a Jeep that looked like a Hummer. AdventureMan loaded all the bags in (it’s Christmas, remember? We are loaded with bags.) We get in the car and AdventureMan starts driving out of the parking garage.
“I don’t think I like this car.” I say.
If you are married, especially if you have been married for a long time, you can keep reading. You are the kinds of people who understand how much a marriage has to survive to endure.
“It’s too big. I can’t drive this car.” I say.
“What do you want to do?” AdventureMan says patiently, but any wife who has been married a long time knows that whatever happens next has to be quick and relatively painless.
“I want to see if we can get something I can drive, too.” I say.
“You want us to go back and park and get another car?” he says, to clairify.
“Yes.” I say, knowing he is very tired and I am walking a fine line here, but I HATE this car, it feels cramped and you can’t see all around, it is sort of squashed feeling.
I quickly go to the Fast Counter, and the man, God bless him, has a Rav4, just one, and I can have it at the same price.
“You don’t want the luxury car?” he asks me as I am signing the papers.
“It was supposed to be a SMALL Jeep.” I countered. “That is not a small Jeep.”
“No,” the counter guy said “You almost got our top of the line Jeep for the economy car price.”
“I don’t care,” I reply (not as rudely as it sounds) “I don’t like it.”
I take the new keys back to AdventureMan, who gamely pulls the bags out of the big huge luxury Jeep and loads them into the more modest Rav4.
It was a smart decision. We both enjoyed the Rav4, being a little high up, having space, but still being small enough to fit into the narrow, short Seattle parking spaces. Anyway, that’s the Rav4 in the photo with the sunset.
Shivering in Seattle
AdventureMan isn’t sure he wants to settle in Seattle. He promised me a long time ago that since I had been such a good wife, following him all around the world, we could settle where I wanted, he didn’t care.
You know how promises like that are . . . as soon as I could, I quickly sold our Tampa Bay area house and bought a house in Seattle. 🙂 Even with the dramatic fall in house prices, our house is still worth more than twice what we paid for it. House prices are not slipping fast in Seattle. The market is slow, but the prices are holding at relatively high levels.
When we go to Seattle, AdventureMan shivers, and talks endlessly about Pensacola. He makes jokes about Seattle’s “two days of summer” and he wears caps that cover his ears. I know he will be a good sport about living in Seattle, but his heart is in the South.
His heart is one of the reasons I want to live in Seattle. In his little town in the South, most people his age are suffering seriously from heart disease and diabetes. The food is SO good in the South – but the major food groups are fat and sugar. We both love seafood, but I am not so sure it does us that much good when it is all deep-fried. Fortunately for me, there are usually also grilled grouper sandwiches, grilled tuna and blackened swordfish, etc. but when give the choice – AdventureMan will usually go for the deep-fried option. 😦
Today, however, he has every right to be cold. Seattle is shivering. This is not my photo, it was sent in to the Seattle Times, and I like it because it has the snow and the Space Needle:
The streets are covered with ice, and people are afraid of more snow is coming, with high winds. When that happens, trees fall on the electrical lines, many of which are still all above ground (ruining the views!) and leaving people without heat or electricity for days.
AdventureMan yearns for the relative heat and sunshine of Kuwait. See you soon!
Bridal Disaster: Fake or For Real?
When I saw this on The Fail Blog it caught me so by surprise that – I laughed. It has to be a bride’s worst nightmare. I get suspicious, however. I mean it LOOKS like a real wedding, but maybe this is all a set up. I’ve watched it a few times. I can’t make up my mind. What do you think?
I didn’t mean to be unkind by laughing, but I laughed so loud that AdventureMan had to come see. He can’t tell if it is real or faked, either.
I can’t begin to imagine – if this were real – what happens next?
Rejected Suitor Rapes Kuwaiti Woman
Al Watan staff
KUWAIT: A young Kuwaiti woman has filed a case against a man who raped her after she rejected his marriage proposal. The woman explained that the young man who asked to marry her had been found out to be a liar. Among other things, he lied about his nationality, claiming to be Kuwaiti when he was not. He also claimed to have huge sums of money when in fact he was not as well off as he initially claimed. After being rejected, the man reportedly waited outside her house and kidnapped her as she walked towards her car. He then drove her to a remote area and raped her.
What incredible courage this young woman has going public. What backing she must have from her family. This is, unfortunately, not a rare occurance. What on earth are these men thinking? Is he trying to ruin her chances of marrying anyone else? Is this rape a punishment?
Blogging About AdventureMan
AdventureMan and I were having dinner out and I was telling him how a friend had mentioned reading something in my blog. I was surprised, because although I told her a long time ago – when I first started blogging – she had never mentioned the blog. She has a lot on her hands and I always thought she might have forgotten about it. We always have a lot to talk about and it had never come up.
“It’s not like people who know you blog HAVE to read your blog.” AdventureMan said.
“I totally agree,” I agreed.
“I don’t have any expectations that anyone read just because they know I write it. Even YOU!” I said to AdventureMan.
“But I do read it, most of the time!” he said, and I am glad, because he keeps me honest, more or less, and he also keeps me from saying anything too inflammatory, or giving away too much personal information.
But his eyes were laughing.
“What’s so funny?” I asked, and he couldn’t answer, he was laughing so hard. His eyes started watering, you know how when you are laughing and can’t stop.
“I can’t tell you!” he gasped. I just kept silent and kept looking at him expectantly with a big smile on my face, because I was pretty sure he would give in if I just gave him a chance.
“OK! OK! I’m just so embarrassed to tell you this!” he started, but again, he was laughing so hard he could barely continue.
“OK, OK, I know your blog is YOUR thing, it’s not all about m – m – m – m . . . ” He could not continue, he was laughing so hard.
“It’s not about m – m – me!” He choked out thinly, breathless from so much laughing.
“But the first thing I do. . . . (laugh laugh laugh, swipe at eyes) . . . the first thing I do when I go to your blog is to do a quick scan to see if you mentioned ME!”
At his point we are both laughing. It really is funny. He loves being AdventureMan.
So, AdventureMan, here is one whole entry, entirely about YOU. 🙂
Morality Police Accuse Married Couple of Being Alone Together
This is one weird story. Saw it in today’s Kuwait Times, but it is not on the online version, so I had to copy it from the Arab News website. The woman’s family and the man’s family all verified that this couple are married, but they are continually harassed by the morality police, saying they are not married.
Vice cops accused of attacking married couple in Madinah
Fatima Sidiya I Arab News
JEDDAH: A 22-year-old Saudi woman told Arab News yesterday that she and her husband of four years were stopped on a road by the religious police of Al-Jurf, west of the holy city of Madinah, accused of being an unrelated man and woman in an illegal state of seclusion (khulwa) at about 1 a.m. on Sunday.
“As we were driving home, my husband and I realized we were being followed by three men in a car,” said the woman, who did not want her name published. “They were coming from both sides of the car and (at one point in the chase) were also in front of our car. I was afraid of having an accident. The whole scene looked just like something in a movie.”
She also said that because no police officer was accompanying the three members of the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice, her husband was afraid to stop. Eventually, the commission vehicle got in front of the car they were pursuing and forced the couple to stop, according to the woman.
Abdullah Al-Zahrani, the head of the Madinah branch of the commission, confirmed to Arab News yesterday that the commission was tailing the couple, but he maintains that the three commission members did not abuse the suspects. He also claims that the two are not married.
“The woman is neither his wife nor his cousin,” said Al-Zahrani.
When asked if the police, in response to the woman’s complaint, had questioned the commission members over what happened early Sunday morning, he said the police did not seek any clarification. “The police did not question the commission members, as they (the commission) are a monitoring body, which hands suspects over to the police for further investigation,” he said.
The couple has filed a complaint and the Commission for Investigation and Prosecution is looking into the case.
Relatives have come out in defense of the commission’s denial that the two are married. According to the woman, a commission member told her husband: “If you bring everybody in your family to tell me she is your wife, I will not believe them. You are lying; she is not your wife.”
According to the woman, she and her husband had been visiting her husband’s family and decided to return home late at night.
After the two were pulled over, said the woman, “one of them pulled my arm and was shouting at me, telling me to get into their car. I was shocked. How could a man from the commission touch a woman when he is not her mahram (a woman’s legal male escort or guardian)? He ordered me to get into the commission car and said they would keep everything secret in order to protect my reputation.”
The commission considers unrelated men and women in cars to be committing the moral crime of khulwa.
The woman said that her husband objected to her treatment, and asked the men to take him in custody instead. At that point, the woman said an older man who happened to be passing by intervened and protested against the commission members touching a woman, “but the commission member told him that I had forced him to do so.”
The woman says that two of the commission members got into her husband’s car with her and accused her of being an immoral woman for being out late at night with an unrelated man. The members of the commission also said that the woman had committed a crime and that she therefore deserved to be punished.
“This is the first time I have seen anything like this,” she said. “One of the members was totally unreasonable and was aggressive from the start. He didn’t want to hear anything that contradicted his set ideas and beliefs. He looked to be in his late 20s. Only one of the three was rational and wanted to talk to us away from the public eye. But he then went and got into their car. The members refused to come to the police during the investigation and said that I had insulted them. I did no such thing; I simply told them over and over: ‘I swear to God that I am this man’s wife.’”
The woman said that after hearing what had happened, her brothers went to the commission branch in Al-Jurf, furious and telling the commission members to stay away from their sister.
She said a commission member then hit one of her brothers and broke his nose.
“My brother became unconscious and an ambulance came and took him to the hospital,” she said.
Then, in anger another brother erroneously went to the wrong commission center to retaliate against the attack on his brother. He was then arrested.
But the police reportedly released the two brothers after confirming their identities. The woman claims that the local police view this particular branch of the commission as problematic.
Maj. Muhsin Al-Radadi, a spokesman for the Madinah police, said that the only reports they received about this incident were about the brother who went to the incorrect commission center.
“The commission members (at Al-Azizia commission branch) were attacked in their offices by a young man,” he said, adding that he wouldn’t comment on hearsay regarding the other events.
“We were not doing anything that was remotely immoral or inappropriate,” said the woman. “Even my eyes were covered. The members shamed us in the area where we live and my husband and I cannot now go out of the house.”
She says that the incident has instilled fear in her about venturing out of the house.
“I will not go to a public place or anywhere in a car unless a lot of my family is with me,” she said.
Romance and Money Matters
I found this article in today’s New York Times Business. So here is my question to you – is it different in Kuwait than in the USA? I remember when we wanted a joint checking account here ( Adventures in Banking), one man looked at my husband in disbelief and said “Why? Just give her some money!” We never did get a joint account; it isn’t possible, but I was given a PAO on the account. It seemed bizarre to me, but it makes perfect sense if couples keep their moneys separately.
What do you think? Does this article apply to marriage in Kuwait?
The Key to Wedded Bliss? Money Matters
By TARA SIEGEL BERNARD
Published: September 10, 2008
IF you ask married people why their marriage works, they are probably not going to say it’s because they found their financial soul mate.
But if they are lucky, they have. Marrying a person who shares your attitudes about money might just be the smartest financial decision you will ever make. In fact, when it comes to finances, your marriage is likely to be your most valuable asset — or your largest liability.
Marrying for love is a relatively recent phenomenon. For centuries, marriages were arranged affairs, aligning families for economic or political purposes or simply pooling the resources of those scraping by.
Today, while most of us marry for romantic reasons, marriage at its core is still a financial union. So much of what we want — or don’t want — out of life boils down to dollars and cents, whether it’s how hard we choose to work, how much we consume or how much we save. For some people, it’s working 80-hour weeks to finance a third home and country club membership; for others, it means cutting back on office hours to spend more time with the family.
“A lot of the debates people have about money are code for how we want to live our lives,” said Betsey Stevenson, assistant professor of business and public policy at the University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School, who researches the economics of marriage and divorce. “A lot of the choices we make in how we want to live our lives involve how we spend our money.”
Making those choices as a team is one of the most important ways to preserve your marital assets, and your union, experts say. But it’s that much easier when you already share similar outlooks on money matters — or when you can, at the very least, find some middle ground.
The economies achieved by pairing up are fairly obvious. However, the costs of divorce can be financially devastating, especially when children are involved. And, not surprisingly, money manages to force a wide wedge between many couples.
“Most people think people break up over sex issues and children issues — and those are issues — but money is a huge factor in breaking up marriages,” said Susan Reach Winters, a divorce lawyer in Short Hills, N.J.
Not everyone is married to a financial twin, and that’s not necessarily a problem. There are several ways that you and your significant other can become more compatible, and ultimately more prosperous, when it comes to money.
These guidelines are compiled from the successfully married and from experts on psychology, divorce and finance:
TALK AND SHARE GOALS Before walking down the aisle, couples should have a talk about their financial health and goals. They should ask each other tough questions: Do we want children? When? Who will care for them? Will they go to public or private school? What kind of life do we want? When will we retire?
This is a fascinating article – read the rest of it HERE.
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