The Great Adventure
This week AdventureMan and I are celebrating our wedding anniversary. He kids me – when we were married, we had a goal. We wanted to go to Africa, so we saved our money for a whole year. We didn’t eat meat – or not often. We didn’t go to movies; we went to the library. We did buy cameras, and we saved and saved and saved, and when we had been married a year, we went to Kenya for a month – three weeks on safari and then one week on the beach.
Life has been so good to us, has blessed us so richly. Today we give thanks for the good times, and even the bad times – it takes both to glue a marriage together. We thank God for his abundant mercy on our foolishness and our pride, for our mistakes, and for our good intentions gone wrong. We give thanks for all his blessings and we pray for many more years together.
May the great adventure continue!
Follow Up on Honor Killing Prevented
This is from today’s Arab Times, and is a follow up to Saved By a Scream.
Bail in honour killing
Kuwait : Citing lack of evidence the Public Prosecution has released on KD 200 bail each the two people who had been detained for interrogation for allegedly attempting to kill their daughter in Saudi Arabia, reports Al-Watan Arabic daily.
The daily added the daughter will be referred to the Psychiatric Hospital.
Earlier it was reported the Saudi immigration officers manning the Al-Riqei border had foiled an attempt by an unidentified GCC family to kill their daughter to save their honor.
According to a security source the parents with their daughter and another sibling traveled to Salmi post and to prevent the ‘victim’ from screaming for help the family’s relative who allegedly works at the post hurried through the process of stamping the passports to help the family cross into Saudi Arabia as the family waited in their car.
When the girl reached the Saudi border post she screamed for help and told the immigration officers that her father planned to kill her.
The family was temporarily detained at the post until the Saudi authorities contacted the authorities in Kuwait. After the family was returned to Kuwait under guard, the relative who helped them at the Salmi post was arrested and detained for interrogation.
The girl was reportedly involved in an affair with an unidentified youth inside an apartment in Salmiya and became pregnant.
Maybe the psychiatric hospital is the only place where she can be safely held against attack from her family?
Reward to Find Runaway Groom
AdventureMan read this aloud to me from the Doha Peninsula News. I can’t help it, we both laughed our heads off:
Raipur: A poor villager of Chhattisgarh has announced a cash reward for anyone providing any information about his son who is missing since April 21, minutes after he was married to a girl against his wishes. Though police had registered a case of “missing” and still looking for the runaway groom, the family members of the bride, as well as the groom strongly believe that the groom was “carried away” by ghosts or some evil forces.
Brijlal, a poor farmer, or village Bhurkuni of Dhamtari district has appealed through local newspapers here Wednesday that he would offer Rs. 20,000 in cash to anyone who provides information about his son.
Good luck there, and hope the ghosts and evil spirits return him soon!
Saved by a Scream
This woman had a close call. I am re-assured that the family was taking her to Saudi Arabia to kill her; it implies that the climate in Kuwait does not support honor killings. Another tidbit from the Arab Times:
Screams help officers thwart bid to kill girl for soiling family name
KUWAIT CITY : The Saudi immigration officers manning the Al-Riqei border post are said to have reportedly foiled an attempt by an unidentified GCC family to kill their daughter to save their honor, reports Al-Watan Arabic daily.
According to a security source the parents with the daughter and another sibling traveled to Salmi post and to prevent the ‘victim’ from screaming for help the family’s relative who allegedly works at the post hurried through the process of stamping the passports to help the family cross into Saudi Arabia as the family waited in their car.
When the girl reached the Saudi border post she screamed for help and told the immigration officers that her father planned to kill her.
The family was temporarily detained at the post until the Saudi authorities contacted the authorities in Kuwait. After the family was returned to Kuwait under guard, the relative who helped them at the Salmi post was arrested and detained for interrogation.
The daily said it is a case of ‘honor killing’. The girl was reportedly involved in an affair with an unidentified youth inside an apartment in Salmiya and she became pregnant.
Meanwhile, the Al-Anba daily added, when the girl was in police custody the brother grabbed his younger sister and threatened to shoot her in front of the building of the Criminal Investigations Department.
He was demanding the release of his other sister who was caught having fun with the youth inside an apartment after a missing person report was filed against her.
A police sniper shot the man in the arm and rescued the younger sibling.
I can’t imagine her life will be easy, if she is pregnant, unmarried, and has a family who wants her dead. I can’t imagine that Kuwait has social services that can help her negotiate a path. Life will be difficult, but it sure beats what was about to happen to her in Saudi Arabia.
It Gives Me Hope
You know who I am, I’m pretty consistent in what I have to say. I believe we all have a lot more in common than we have differences, and I want us to find ways to get along. We, as a species, spend so much time and energy and resources fighting over the pettiest differences. How will we ever call ourselves civilized until we can treat every fellow creature with respect?
I bet Cupertino has problems, too. I know for one thing it is incredibly expensive. Most of what I saw there, I really liked. Whole Foods. High Tech Engineering. A wide variety of people, all working together in peace.
At our hotel, there were five weddings taking place the same day as “our” wedding. I came down in the elevator with one couple and their parents, and I got a photo of them in the hotel garden area before their wedding:
The groom is from India, and the bride is Chinese. The parents, and all the relatives are gathered, and dressed in gorgeous, flowing silks, and the bride and groom are just amazingly in love with each other and it is so beautiful, they are all so happy.
Cupertino takes a lot of pride in being beautiful, and the buildings they build are beautiful and they have “campuses” where lots of related buildings are connected with winding garden paths and ponds full of ducks.
I particularly love this sculpture:
Which looks totally different from the side:
There were flowers and plants everywhere. Many I couldn’t even recognize. I would have to learn a whole new world of gardening in California:
The Grande Finale
Here’s the problem. Our weddings are SO much fun. We all get there early, and as Maurice Sendak says – “Let the wild rumpus begin!”
I think many of you have the same families – we raise our children as a village. My sisters’ children are precious to me, and mine to them. They have visited back and forth between our houses since they were little. When we gather, you never know who will be with what family, which room people will gather in – it is one constant high-energy party.
And, it can also be totally exhausting!
Yesterday was the grand finale, THE wedding. It took place at Ainsley House, in Campbell, CA:
The weather has been unseasonably cool, so there was concern about rain during the wedding. Fortunately, it never rained, the sun came out, the bride was gorgeous and everything came off without a hitch. The bride and groom took their vows:
And then they exchanged rings:
After rings were exchanged, and the couple declared man and wife, the guests went on to the reception hall, while the bride and groom and family and attendants had a lengthy photo session. When we gathered for the wedding dinner, it was truly a night to remember!
I loved her table decorations; restrained, elegant, perfect for a beautifully planned wedding:
The wedding dinner:
The Greek side of the family danced, and the Iranian side laughed and said they were dancing Iranian style. The Iranians showed us all how to DANCE, and Sparkle is very very good at it. I think she had some coaching from her new daughter-in-law. Everyone had great fun comparing the different styles of dancing:
Our children are marrying into other “villages” and our own village just keeps expanding. It gives me such immense joy to watch this happen; the world grows smaller and smaller. Our children are choosing their mates with care – and joy! And they are choosing well, uniting us with tribes and clans who share the same values, if not nationalities.
We wish you all happiness, Earthling and Bride!
NOLA, Palo Alto
The rehersal dinner was at a really fun restaurant in Palo Alto, NOLA (New Orleans, Louisiana) and the good times started rolling even before we left the hotel, as wedding invitees gathered to car pool and head down the highways to the dinner. We had instructions, but we were following the car in front of us, and so had a great adventure en route. Everyone finally got there just fine, the music was loud, the crowd was hoppin’ and the food was fabulous.
Hurricanes waiting on the table to greet the guests:
The appetizer plates (I couldn’t get to it fast enough to take a photo before some had disappeared!)
We started with soups and salads, but I forgot to take photos (there is a lot of visiting going on at these events!) so here is some fabulous jambalaya:
And what’s left of delicious king salmon:
I was honored to sit with the bride’s mother, originally from Tehran, and oh! what great conversations we had. The whole purpose of the rehearsal dinner is to give the families time to get to know one another a little, to provide a network for the young marrying couple, to give support. Our weddings are GREAT affairs – now I am going to brag a little. Our young generation of marrying age has chosen such fine mates. The bride in this wedding is a pistol; she and Earthling are so well matched, so good to each other and so good at supporting one another. And I love her mother! We had a great time visiting with each other.
And then – oh my – the desserts! Beignets and bread pudding:
People were scraping the sauces right off the serving plate, not wanting to waste a single tasty bite, they were that good!
This morning, the bride, my sister the groom’s mother, my mother and a host of attendants are off to the hairdressers to get hair and nails and make up done, the whole wedding ritual. I am thankful to be a minor character today – I have packing to do, and with the new packing regulations, I am in a world of hurt. I know if I need to I can buy another suitcase, but I am hoping I will not have to do that.
Last night was a truly great evening, (Thank you, Sparkle and MarinerMan!) and as good as it was, as delicious and fun filled as it was, it was just the prelude to the big event today. 🙂
UPDATE:
Hi there,
I noticed you wrote about our restaurant, Nola, on 5/25/2008 (https://intlxpatr.wordpress.com/2008/05/25/nola-palo-alto/). We really appreciate the mention! Recently, we created a new site that lets our customers order online with their desktop or smartphone. It’s an exciting addition to our restaurant, so we’re reaching out to you to ask for a small favor…
If you could help us by adding our new website (http://www.nolapaloalto.com) on your post about Nola, we’d really appreciate it! I know you wrote this post a while back so hopefully it’s not too much trouble!
Again, thanks so much for supporting our restaurant by mentioning us on your site. Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any questions. Thanks there!
Cheers,
Your fans at Nola
Moses Learns to Delegate
When I was young, I never would have thought that I would join a bible study on the life of Moses that took a whole year. When I was young, I was a believer, but never dreamed I would really STUDY the word. One day a person invited me in, and I found myself learning things I never would have dreamed.
I remember learning this segment, from Exodus, which is part of the readings for day. Moses listened to his father-in-law, and he had to learn to delegate, so he wouldn’t be worn out:
Exodus 18:13-27
13 The next day Moses sat as judge for the people, while the people stood around him from morning until evening. 14When Moses’ father-in-law saw all that he was doing for the people, he said, ‘What is this that you are doing for the people? Why do you sit alone, while all the people stand around you from morning until evening?’ 15Moses said to his father-in-law, ‘Because the people come to me to inquire of God. 16When they have a dispute, they come to me and I decide between one person and another, and I make known to them the statutes and instructions of God.’ 17Moses” father-in-law said to him, ‘What you are doing is not good. 18You will surely wear yourself out, both you and these people with you. For the task is too heavy for you; you cannot do it alone. 19Now listen to me. I will give you counsel, and God be with you! You should represent the people before God, and you should bring their cases before God; 20teach them the statutes and instructions and make known to them the way they are to go and the things they are to do. 21You should also look for able men among all the people, men who fear God, are trustworthy, and hate dishonest gain; set such men over them as officers over thousands, hundreds, fifties and tens. 22Let them sit as judges for the people at all times; let them bring every important case to you, but decide every minor case themselves. So it will be easier for you, and they will bear the burden with you. 23If you do this, and God so commands you, then you will be able to endure, and all these people will go to their home in peace.’
24 So Moses listened to his father-in-law and did all that he had said. 25Moses chose able men from all Israel and appointed them as heads over the people, as officers over thousands, hundreds, fifties, and tens. 26And they judged the people at all times; hard cases they brought to Moses, but any minor case they decided themselves. 27Then Moses let his father-in-law depart, and he went off to his own country.
The Annunciation
Do you have a million ways to avoid doing what you know you really need to do? (Like taxes?)
The Forward Day by Day reading for today had to do with Mary saying “yes” to God.
For my American readers – I bet most of you don’t know that there is an entire chapter in the Qura’n devoted to Mary, and that Muslims also believe Mary conceived as a virgin. I bet you!
Because I have more serious things to do, I spent some time looking for artistic works that showed what I think the Annunciation would have looked like. (To my Muslim readers, The Annunciation is the formal name for when the angel Gabriel – Jabreel – visits Mary and tells her she has been chosen to bear Jesus/Issa and Mary has a choice – and Mary says “Yes!”) (To my American readers – Yep, Gabriel is also in the Qura’n, and also John the Baptist appears as Yahyah.)
Before I go any further, the point of today’s reading is that we are supposed to say “yes” to God/Allah when he gives us a mission to do.
But I got distracted, looking for what I thought the Annunciation would look like. If you are curious, just Google “Annunciation + Art” and you can wile away your life on a huge array of artworks.
I selected a few to share with you that caught my eye.
The first one – this is just truly awful! Look at their sour expressions! The Angel Gabriel looks like he thinks God made a big mistake choosing this wench, and the Virgin looks like she thinks Gabriel is a con man or something. Look at the body language! Look at Gabriel’s hands, it is almost like he is shaking his finger at Mary. Look at Mary, see how she is pulling her robe tighter and looking like “Get this lunatic away from me!” See what you think of this painting by Martini:
To me, this one comes the closest in what I think Mary would have looked like – a 14 year old Palestinian girl. Even her clothing looks right to me. And look at her hands – her hands say “it is too awesome for me to understand, and I accept. It is a Coptic icon:
I love the feeling of this one, and that the artist captures the simplicity of “Mary” caught in her normal daily routines, surrounded by her household items and the awe and astonishment of the moment:
And here is my very favorite by Caravaggio. I love the protective posture of the angel, and the complete submission in Mary’s posture, I love the presence of God in the light shining on them both, and I love the way Caravaggio captures the feeling of enormous awe – it doesn’t take gilt and sumptuousness, the glorious essence of this moment was simple – Mary said “yes.”:
Date Night Sparks
This is the #1 most e-mailed article from the New York Times, and you can read the entire article by clicking HERE:
Reinventing Date Night for Long-Married Couples
By TARA PARKER-POPE
Published: February 12, 2008
Long-married couples often schedule a weekly “date night” — a regular evening out with friends or at a favorite restaurant to strengthen their marital bond.
But brain and behavior researchers say many couples are going about date night all wrong. Simply spending quality time together is probably not enough to prevent a relationship from getting stale.
Using laboratory studies, real-world experiments and even brain-scan data, scientists can now offer long-married couples a simple prescription for rekindling the romantic love that brought them together in the first place. The solution? Reinventing date night.
Rather than visiting the same familiar haunts and dining with the same old friends, couples need to tailor their date nights around new and different activities that they both enjoy, says Arthur Aron, a professor of social psychology at the State University of New York at Stony Brook. The goal is to find ways to keep injecting novelty into the relationship. The activity can be as simple as trying a new restaurant or something a little more unusual or thrilling — like taking an art class or going to an amusement park.
The theory is based on brain science. New experiences activate the brain’s reward system, flooding it with dopamine and norepinephrine. These are the same brain circuits that are ignited in early romantic love, a time of exhilaration and obsessive thoughts about a new partner. (They are also the brain chemicals involved in drug addiction and obsessive-compulsive disorder.)
Most studies of love and marriage show that the decline of romantic love over time is inevitable. The butterflies of early romance quickly flutter away and are replaced by familiar, predictable feelings of long-term attachment.
But several experiments show that novelty — simply doing new things together as a couple — may help bring the butterflies back, recreating the chemical surges of early courtship.
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Early Voting in Florida
Here There and Everywhere 