A New Approach – The John School
From CNN World News
NASHVILLE, Tennessee (CNN) — The accused came from all walks of life: Retirees, dads and twentysomethings. An engineer, a business owner and an auto worker. A man in a wheelchair. Men in need of Spanish or Farsi translators.
Brett Beasley, with Nashville’s Health Department, educates men arrested for trying to buy sex about STDs.
About 40 men somberly entered a classroom on a recent Saturday morning. About half of them wore shiny wedding bands.
All had tried to buy a prostitute’s services and were caught by police. It was their first offense, and a county court referred them to a one-day program called the John School. It’s a program run by volunteers and city officials in conjunction with Magdalene House, a nonprofit that works to get prostitutes off the streets.
“Prostitution doesn’t discriminate,” said Kenny Baker, a cognitive behavioral therapist who is the program’s director. “Most of these men don’t have a prior criminal history, so our goal is to help these folks understand why they put themselves in a bad position, to prevent it from happening again.”
Set in a church in Nashville, Tennessee, the John School is led by former prostitutes, health experts, psychologists and law enforcement officers who talk to — and at times berate — the men about the risks of hiring a prostitute.
Prostitution is based on the law of supply and demand. The thinking is: Women won’t stop selling sex until men stop buying.
So Nashville and a growing number of cities are shifting their focus from locking up suppliers to educating buyers. Across the country, about 50 communities are using John Schools. Atlanta, Georgia, and Baltimore, Maryland, are among dozens more cities that plan to launch similar programs by the end of the year. See where the John Schools are »
“It will make them [offenders] see that this is not a victimless crime, and they are contributing to the exploitation of women,” said Stephanie Davis, policy adviser on women’s issues at the mayor’s office in Atlanta. “It’s hurting them, the man, and it’s hurting their families and its hurting the community.”
No comprehensive effort has been made to track the numbers, but experts estimate 1 million to 2 million prostitutes work in the United States. The FBI’s 2007 Uniform Crime Report lists about 78,000 arrests for prostitution and commercialized vice, but experts say those numbers are extremely conservative because many sex workers and johns aren’t caught.
Experts add that easy accessibility to prostitutes and pornography on the Internet are feeding the problem.
In most communities, prostitution has been a one-sided battle focused on the women who offer sex. Their customers, when they are arrested, are usually cited for a misdemeanor and fined.
By comparison, prostitutes are often charged with more severe sentences and jailed for months, depending on the offense.
But in Nashville, the johns’ faces are shown on a police Web site.
For decades, Nashville battled prostitution by arresting women on the streets and through stings. Still, the problem persisted, irritating business owners and residents.
In the early 1990s, Nashville’s mayor helped launch the John School with the help of the Magdalene House, public defenders, prosecutors and police officers. Nashville became one of the first major cities in the U.S. to focus on the customers, predominantly men.
Only first-time offenders who solicit an adult are eligible for John School. Johns who pick up minors are not eligible and face much tougher sentences.
“If you get caught again and you get me, I will guarantee to put you in jail,” warned Antoinette Welch, a local prosecutor, in speaking to the men in the class. “I’ve had men cry to me that they will lose their jobs or their wives, but you’re all grown up and you make your own decisions.”
The men listened carefully as Welch talked about their records; many had not yet told their wives or significant others about their arrest.
If the john pleads guilty, pays a $250 fee and completes the course without re-offending, the charge can be dismissed after a year. The money paid by the john goes to Magdalene House; the program doesn’t cost taxpayers any money. John School models in other communities may differ.
A woman who called herself Alexis, a 35-year-old former prostitute with dark hair and bright blue eyes, spoke to the men as the class came to an end. Four years ago, she left the streets and now works at a factory.
By the age of 10, Alexis had learned to barter with sex with her stepfather. In her 20s, she found herself hooked on drugs and selling her body. She was arrested more than 80 times. She was hospitalized after someone shot her on the job.
As she told her story, the men were silent. A few blushed, while others stared at the floor.
“These gentlemen are no different than I was on the streets,” she said. “I think everyone has to look at the void they are trying to fill.”
One john, a father of two with salt-and-pepper hair, found himself near tears after Alexis spoke. In July, he tried to pick up a prostitute through Craigslist. He said he was depressed and having problems with his wife.
“I’m so embarrassed,” he said. “These girls are somebody’s daughters. I have a daughter.”
Some evidence suggests that John Schools are working. A 2008 government study looked at the John School program in San Francisco, California. It’s one of the largest programs in the country; more than 7,000 johns have attended since 1995.
According to the study, the re-arrest rate fell sharply after the school was launched, and stayed more than 30 percent lower for 10 years afterward.
But critics call John School a slap on the wrist. On Saturday, one john abandoned the classroom.
Carol Leigh, who founded the Sex Workers Outreach Project, a group that promotes legalizing prostitution in California, said she doesn’t believe the program is an effective deterrent. Last year, she helped advocate on behalf of a law known as Proposition K that would legalize prostitution in San Fransisco. The proposal was rejected by the city.
“John School doesn’t do that much,” said Leigh, who has worked as a prostitute. “The reality is they aren’t spending that much time on the johns and they will just go and re-offend at other venues. This also doesn’t target the violent offenders who are the real problem.”
Melissa Farley, head of the nonprofit group Prostitution Research and Education in San Fransisco, believes johns deserve stronger punishment like longer prison sentences.
A recent study she conducted among johns in Chicago, Illinois, found that 41 percent of them said John School would deter them from buying sex, compared with 92 percent who said being placed on a sex offender registry would scare them from re-offending.
Nashville officials said they haven’t tracked recidivism rates in their city, but the school’s program director said it’s probably deterring a third of the offenders in each class.
At least one college educated, 47-year-old john’s attitude appeared to change on a recent Saturday.
After class he wrote, “There is no good part. I would rather be with my wife. This was quick but it wasn’t worth it.”
Sweet Amsterdam
I used to hate the layover in Amsterdam. I used to sit in the lounge, trying to stay awake so I wouldn’t miss my next flight. Then – I learned about the showers.
You have to scramble to be one of the first to sign up. As it was, I had to wait about an hour, but I still had plenty of time. I love getting all clean between the long flights. It’s not like I am a clean freak, but when I travel, I am just so aware of my exposure to germs from all over the world – the thousands of people who have sat in this same seat, the people who have touched this doorknob, just after sneezing, the people who are coughing and not covering their mouths – I just feel so vulnerable.
And even better – after sitting is fairly close circumstances with total strangers for hours (I am not so friendly when I am traveling) I relish having one small room all to myself, quiet, privacy, just some time alone. It makes all the difference in the world, to me.
KLM seems to be updating their lounges; the new showers are really nice, modern, clean clean clean and cool – they used to be moist, steamy, HOT. I used to feel sweatier after leaving the shower than before, but now – ah! fresh!
Look! Even a hair dryer!
I totally love these showerheads, they are called something like tropical rainfall or something, but they use less water and make it sprinkle all over – I love them!
My only complaint is a small one, and maybe more perceived than real. The women working with KLM are always so nice and jokey and friendly with all the men, and with women, they seem to have an attitude like “why are you here?” and give the men special treatment. It’s not totally across the board; I have had one or two people who knocked themselves out to help me over the years, but for the most part, they are falling all over themselves to serve the men, and they are barely dutiful when they take care of their women guests.
I also hate it that, leaving Doha, they fly into Dammam and then wait there in that creepy, barren airport for over an hour. Just when I need to be getting my prime sleep, you have to sit in an upright seat for landing, and then again for take-off. Once you take off from Dammam, it is relatively peaceful, but I just hate that stopover.
If You Thought the Last Joke Was Bad . . .
This one might qualify as the WORST:
Potatoes…
Well, A Girl Potato and A Boy Potato had eyes for each other, and finally they got married, and had a little sweet potato, which they called ‘Yam.’
Of course, they wanted the best for Yam. When it was time, they told her about the facts of life.
They warned her about going out and getting half-baked, so she wouldn’t get accidentally mashed, and get a bad name for herself like ‘Hot Potato,’ and end up with a bunch of Tater Tots.
Yam said not to worry; no Spud would get her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her!
But on the other hand she wouldn’t stay home and become a Couch Potato either.
She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her Shoestring cousins.
When she went off to Europe, Mr. and Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland. And the greasy guys from France called the French Fries.
And when she went out west in the USA, they told her to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn’t get scalloped.
Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn’t associate with those high class Yukon Golds or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks that say, ‘Frito Lay.’
Mr. and Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (that’s Potato University) so when she graduated she’d really be in the chips.
But in spite of all they did for her, one-day Yam came home and announced she was going to marry Tom Brokaw.
Tom Brokaw!!!
Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset.
They told Yam she couldn’t possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he’s just…well he’s just a…
Are you ready for this?
Are you sure?
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OK! Here it is!
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A COMMONTATER !!!
Maggie O’Farrell and The Vanishing Act of Esme Lennox
Maggie O’Farrel’s The Vanishing Act of Esme Lennox is also a book club pick, but oh, what a pick! I remember somewhere reading a review; I might never have picked this book up if I hadn’t needed to read it for the club. And oh, what I might have missed!
It’s like the scariest book ever written, scary in a Margaret Atwood kind of way, a reminder that women have not had rights for very long, and that those rights are still very fragile. When economies go bottoms-up, when unemployment begins rising, women are often the first to suffer, and women’s rights the first to go. In hard times, men will be preferred hirings, because they have families to support, laws to “protect” women are passed, especially laws which “protect” her finances, meaning gives the power of the money management to some man to do for her, or “protect” her person by requiring that some man accompany her to keep her from dangers. Protection = control. It keeps some smart, thinking women submissive to men who are in every way their inferior.
In Vanishing, Maggie O’Farrel writes of such a woman, Esme Lennox, who is a fey spirit, born in India, with the eyes of an artist. While her “good” sister Kitty obeys the rules, walks the straight and narrow path, Esme is messier. As she grows to adolescence, her eccentricity and her rebellion against the constricts of the life in turn-of-the-century Scotland chafe, she yearns for more room to breathe, intellectually, socially, as her family, her community and her society continues to pressure her to conform.
One of the key events in the book is the death of Esme’s baby brother, of typhoid fever. Abandoned, Esme sits holding her dead brother’s body for three days until her family returns (the baby-keeper also died and the other employees deserted while Esme’s family was away). Esme is devastated, but the focus is on her mother, who is wrought with guilt and isolates herself, and Esme, only a little girl, is forbidden to even say her beloved baby brother’s name. Part of what plays a huge role in this book is society, expectations, and all that is hidden and unspoken – as Esme becomes, a family secret, locked away for sixty years.
Their grandmother swept into the room ‘Kitty,’ there was an unaccustomed smile on her face, ‘stir yourself. You have a visitor.’
Kitty put down her needle. ‘Who?’
Their mother appeared behind the grandmother. ‘Kitty,’ she said ‘quickly put that away. He’s here, he’s downstairs . . . ‘
. . . .
Esme watched from the window-seat as her mother started fiddling with Kitty’s hari, tucking it behind her ears, then releasing it. . . . . Ishbel turned and, catching sight of Esme at the window, said ‘You, too. Quickly now.’
Esme took the stairs slowly. She had no desire to meet one of Kitty’s suitors. They all seemed the same to her – nervous men with over-combed hair, scrubbed hands and pressed shirts. They came and drank tea, and she and Kitty were expected to talk to them while their mother sat like an umpire in a chair across the room. The whole thing made Esme want to burst into honesty, to say, let’s forget this charade, do you want to marry her or not?
She dawdled on the landing, looking at a grim, grey-skied watercolour of the Fife coast. But her grandmother appeared in the hall below. ‘Esme!’ she hissed, and Esme clattered down the stairs.
In the drawing room, she plumped down in a chair with high arms in the corner. She wound her ankles round its polished legs and eyed the suitor. The same as ever. Perhaps a little more good-looking than some of the others. Blond hair, an arrogant forehead, fastidious cuffs. He was asking Ishbel something about the roses in a bowl on the table. Esme had to repress the urge to roll her eyes. Kitty was sitting bolt upright on the sofa, pouring tea into a cup, a blush creeping up her neck.
Esme began playing the game she often played with herself at times like this, looking over the room and working out how she might get round it without touching the floor. She could climb from the sofa to the low table and, from there, to the fender stool. Along that, and then –
She realized her mother was loooking at her, saying something.
‘What was that?” Esme said.
‘James was addressing you.’ her mother said, and the slight flare of her nostrils meant, Esme knew, that she’d better behave or there would be trouble later.
As with many inconvenient women, Esme ends up committed at a loony-bin, and sixty years later, is released into the custody of a grand-niece who never even knew Esme existed.
The thoughts, trials and escapades of three women, Esme, her sister Kitty, and Iris, the grand-niece, intertwine through out the book, and the picture is cloudy at first, blurry, shifting, fragmented The pattern becomes more and more clear as the three threads of thought are woven – ever more tightly – together.
I could not put this book down. Finding out how the picture came together became more important than checking my messages, my blog, or fixing dinner. It was compelling, and resulted in a quick and unforgettable read.
Ex-Wife Confesses to Setting Kuwait Wedding Tent Fire
From today’s Kuwait Times So like, you are the taxi driver, a woman gets in your cab with two containers full of gasoline, and you drop her off at a wedding tent? (It doesn’t say if he was told to wait) Like wouldn’t that make you a little concerned?
Her maids knew about her threats. Wouldn’t you think someone might warn her family?
I know that there is a way of looking at this that makes it more comprehensible, but it is so far beyond me, except that I have heard multiple times about in-laws interfering in marriages, and I imagine it could make you homicidal. But oh, this is the stuff of legend.
If she was married to the groom in this wedding at one time, isn’t there a likelihood that she is from that same family?
Ex-wife consumed with burning anger
Published Date: August 18, 2009
By A Saleh, Staff writer
KUWAIT: The woman arrested in connection with the Jahra wedding tent fire, which killed 42 people and injured dozens more, some critically, has confessed to starting the blaze. The woman, the ex-wife of the bridegroom, made her confession during police questioning, which began at 2:30 am on Sunday morning. The questioning was personally supervised by Brigadier Sheikh Mazen Al-Jarrah, the Assistant Director General of Criminal Detectives for Governorate Affairs.
Asked about her motives for starting the fire, the unidentified 23-year-old woman said that she had wanted to take revenge on her parents-in-law, whom she accused of destroying her marriage. She added that she had argued continually with them, saying they wanted to “burn” her heart by making her ex-husband marry another woman. Asked by the interviewing officers whether she had experienced problems with her husband, she said these problems had increased because of his family, adding that he had begun to beat her and create problems due to believing what his family told him about her.
She said she had been considering setting the wedding tent alight since she learned about the wedding party, adding that nobody else had known about her plans. Asked if she had intended to kill those in the tent, she told officers, “Of course not. I only wanted to disturb the party.
When the officers questioning her asked if she knew that more than 40 people had died due to her actions and the number may increase, she collapsed and began crying. After calming down, she explained how she had set the tent on fire, telling officers that on the night of the wedding she had taken a taxi to the home of her parents-in-law in Jahra, carrying two bottles filled with petrol. On arriving, she simply walked up to the tent, poured the petrol on it and set it alight before fleeing. She then took an
other taxi and returned to her home.
While on her way there, she received a text message from her in-laws accusing her of starting the fire. She then called her brother and told him that she was going to Rabiya police station to register a complaint about the message. When the officers asked her if her brother knew that she was behind the fire, she said, “Of course not. I told him I was going out and he didn’t know about the fire.
The woman said that once she arrived at the police station to make the complaint, however, she said that the desk officer there refused to register it, telling her that nobody had accused her of anything. After that, she said, she had gone to her parents’ home until “you arrested me and sent me to the Criminal Investigation Department in Salmiya.
A total of 43 women and children have died and 90 other people were injured in the inferno, fire chief General Jassem Al-Mansouri said, the deadliest civilian disaster in the modern history of the Gulf state. Health Minister Helal Al-Sayer said that 38 wounded women have been discharged after receiving the necessary treatment. Of the 52 wounded still in hospital, at least five are in critical condition with extremely severe burns, the minister said, adding that some others have suffered moderate burns.
Thirty-one of the dead were buried on Sunday and yesterday while forensics officials are still busy trying to establish the identities of the other victims. At least seven of the dead are children. Specialized medical teams from Germany and Britain were scheduled to arrive yesterday to treat the injured.
Kuwait Wedding Fire: Did Bride Survive?
AOL News is carrying this report, saying “it is unclear whether the bride survived.” I know I read in the Kuwait Times yesterday that the bride did survive, but her mother and sister did not. Which is true?
Fatal Wedding Fire Called Criminal Act
Kuwaiti Newspaper Says Groom’s Angry Ex-Wife Started Deadly Blaze
By DIANA ELIAS, AP
KUWAIT CITY (Aug. 17) – Kuwaiti authorities have apprehended the person suspected of setting fire to a wedding tent and killing 41 people and said Monday the motive was personal. Local newspapers reported the groom’s ex-wife was the arsonist.
The inferno Saturday night in the tribal area of al-Jahra, west of Kuwait City, ate up the women’s tent in just three minutes and left behind bodies so charred they were unrecognizable. Guests likely crushed one another in a desperate attempt to flee. It was still unclear if the bride had survived.
Kuwaiti authorities said Monday that a deadly wedding tent blaze was set by someone for personal reasons. Local newspapers identified the suspect as the groom’s ex-wife. The intense fire, which lasted only three minutes, killed 41 women and children. Fifty-two others were hospitalized. Here, burnt debris litters the area in Kuwait City.
‘A Horrific Scene’
Kuwaiti officials said 41 women and children died when a fire broke out at a wedding party in Kuwait City on Saturday. The deadly inferno lasted just three minutes. Authorities said 58 injured were still in hospitals, including seven people in serious condition with severe burns. Here, burnt debris litters the area.
The alleged arsonist has been identified and “confessed to committing the crime for personal reasons,” Interior Ministry spokesman Col. Mohammed al-Saber told state-owned Kuwait television.
Al-Saber’s statement made no reference to an ex-wife, and he did not answer telephone calls seeking comment Monday. But Kuwaiti newspapers speculated on the cause of the fire, saying that the groom’s former wife was to blame. The headline in the English-language Kuwait Times was “‘Scorned’ Woman Unleashed Fury.”
The independent Al-Qabas daily said the groom’s former wife, who is 23 years old, poured gasoline on the tent and lit it because she felt her ex-husband mistreated her when they were married.
A statement Monday from the Interior Ministry carried by the Kuwait News Agency said the perpetrator was in custody, but no name or details were given.
The “final and exact” death toll discussed in a high-level security meeting Monday was 41, said Kuwaiti Fire Department chief, Brig. Gen. Jassem al-Mansouri. Earlier reports Monday had raised the death toll to 43 after two people died overnight from burns. But al-Mansouri said after further investigation authorities determined that only 39 people died during the initial blaze. He said the bodies were so badly burned, it was difficult for investigators to determine how many people perished.
The chief, who described the fire as the worst disaster he’s seen in almost four decades of service, said 6 bodies were still unidentified and it was not known if the bride survived the carnage.
You can read this entire account by clicking HERE.
Qatari Divorcees and Widows More Likely to Marry
This caught my eye for a couple reasons – one of which is that Qatar has the second largest divorce rate after Kuwait. Second, while it is mentioned in the article, it is not mentioned at the end that the women have other options in Kuwait and Qatar, are more able to care for themselves financially, and are not bound to stay in unhappy marriages for reasons of financial dependency.
It is delightful to think that one unhappy marriage while young will not doom a still-young woman to a life of celibacy. 🙂
More Qataris tying the knot with divorcees and widows
Web posted at: 8/11/2009 2:41:41
Source ::: The Peninsula / By MOHAMED SAEED
DOHA: Qatar has the second largest divorce rate in the Gulf region after Kuwait, but a welcome development has been that now an increasing number of citizens prefer to marry divorcees and young widows.
Qatar being a conservative society, marrying divorcees and widows has been a taboo of sorts.So, since the largest number of divorcees is in the age group of 20 to 29 years, their remarriage is a healthy sign.
In 1986, for example, divorcees under 20 years of age accounted for 15 percent of the total. Their proportion has been declining and was down to 6.4 percent in 2007.
Studies conducted by the Permanent Population Committee (PPC) show the number of marriages breaking up in the country has risen from just 308 in 1986 to nearly a 1,000 in 2007.
And although the population of locals has also gone up in this period, the rates of marriage and divorce have risen at a larger rate than the population increase.
It is also interesting to note that nearly 85 percent of weddings ending into divorce are first marriages. In other words, a husband taking a second, third or even fourth wife has never been the cause for a wedlock to end.
With women having increasing access to education and employment, the number of married Qatari females asking for divorce (‘khula’ in Arabic) has been on the rise. The share of such divorces in the total is on an average between 16 and 23 percent.
The studies note that financial independence of educated women has much to do with the rise in the phenomenon.
And as for male citizens marrying young divorcees and widows, the number of such marital knots had increased to nearly 300 in 2007 as compared to barely 29 in 1986.
Among the Arab countries, Egypt and Syria have the lowest divorce rates, suggest the studies.
They point to erosion of social values, modern living, fading influence of families, as the major factors behind the rising incidence of divorce in Qatar.
“Lord, Please Don’t Let Me Grow Up to Be a Dirty Old Man”
“So,” said AdventureMan, sitting down with me to eat a pizza after an unusually disrupted Friday, our day off, “tell me more about King David. Like wasn’t he the one who killed Goliath?”
He is asking, because the sermon at our church this morning was like eight sermons in one sermon. While the priest stuck close to the gospel and readings, he made so many good points that we had already discussed with our friend over breakfast, but there were still so many to discuss.
“Yeh, King David is problematic, once you get to be a grown-up,” I started. We have to start with the Israelis arrival in the promised land.”
“Israelites.” He corrected me.
“Yes. Them. They wanted a king. God said ‘no’ that they didn’t need a king, but they kept whining that all the other peoples had a king and they wanted one, too.”
(Please keep in mind, I am not a theologian, and this is my summary, as best as I can figure it out, so you can argue with me, I am no expert, but I DO read scripture.)
“They kept begging for a king, and I am guessing it annoyed God so much that he gave them one. (Who knows what God is thinking?) The prophet Samuel annointed Saul, and Saul became king over all the tribes of Israelites, but he got in major trouble because he didn’t do what God told him to do.”
“What did he do?” AdventureMan is fascinated.
“He was supposed to kill ALL the males of the tribe he had conquered, but he didn’t. When Samuel confronted him, he argued, then he said he would go back and kill the ones he had promised God he would kill and he had promised these guys he would not kill them, but he went back and killed them anyway. He thought going back and doing what he was supposed to do would make it all right with God, but it didn’t.”
“Where does David come in?” AdventureMan asks.
“Samuel anoints David king, at God’s instruction, so for a while there are two kings of Israel.” I explain.
“Isn’t that the one where Samuel looks at all the sons and doesn’t see the one who is supposed to be king?” AdventureMan asks. (Good! He was listening in Sunday school!)
“Yep. God told him none of the sons he saw was the one, so he asked the father if he didn’t have any other sons and he sent for David, who was out taking care of the sheep in the fields, and God said ‘that’s the one.
So David kills Goliath, and Saul invites him to come live with him in the castle, and Saul’s son Jonathan loves David and David loves him, and Saul’s daughter Michal also loves David, and David marries her. Saul knows God’s spirit isn’t with him anymore, and he has these fits when he tries to kill David because David is very successful in battle and the people love him and Saul has a sneaking suspicion that God’s spirit is with David, so he is really jealous, even though a part of him loves David. There are a lot of times he throws his spear at David, trying to kill him, and finally Michal and Jonathan help David escape totally.
Eventually Saul dies, David becomes king, but David has some odd behaviors.”
“I remember last week, or the week before, when the arc of the covenant was being moved and David told one man to stop and it ended up killing that man,” AdventureMan said, “it was supposed to be about moving God’s home on earth, but it turned into being all about David.”
“Yeh, during that same procession, he took off all his clothes and danced wildly. It may have been exultation, but there is this strange verse about Michal watching from her window and despising him in her heart. Really an odd event.”
“OK, so what happened with Bathsheba?” he asks.
“Pretty much what we heard today in the gospel reading.” I respond. “After Uriah is killed in battle, she marries the king and bears him a son who becomes Solomon, who turns out to be really wise.”
“So what is your problem with David?” AdventureMan asks.
“We all grow up thinking he is a great guy, but the bible tells us he was also greatly flawed,” I respond. “After Michal helped David get away, Saul married her to another guy, and they really loved each other, but once David became king, he sent his men to take her away from the other guy, even though he already had two other wives. He did that naked dancing thing. God made him really sick for disobeying, and being more focused on his kingliness than this responsibilities, but David repents heartily, and tells God if God will heal him, he will serve God with all his heart. I guess it is a mystery to me why God loves David so much. But it might have more to do with Solomon than with David.”
It’s not often that AdventureMan and I are so engrossed in a bible reading that we discuss it over dinner, and the discussion went on and on, because it was such a human story, and also sort of a mystery.
During the sermon, the priest made us vote as to who was wrong, Bathsheba, for bathing on her roof, or David. We all voted, every single person, for David being in the wrong.
At the end of the service, when the priest sends us forth to love and serve God, he added this prayer, which I am certain referred to King David, but it caused a collective gasp nonetheless:
“Lord, please keep us far away from pornography. Please don’t let me grow up to be a dirty old man.”
We love this priest. He is direct. Very straightforward. At the same time, he is very practical about people and their fallibilities. I suspect we will be thinking about this sermon the whole week. That’s a really good sermon!
(I found a fascinating discussion of the passage about King David dancing naked in a writing on Passionate Spirituality and Worship written by a Mennonite theologian which presents another interpretation / explanation of what is going on)
Skimpy Clothing in Qatar
Yesterday, there was a report of two Filipina gals arrested for wearing shorts and halter tops to a local mall. This morning, we saw spaghetti straps, totally strapless tops, and very bare halter tops at brunch. When new people come to work here, are the companies giving them any guidelines? Are the women (in particular) listening?
We lived in Tunis in the early 1980’s, and an artist friend silkscreened some gorgeous t-shirts which said, in Arabic – We are not tourists, we live here. Tunis was inundated with European tourists, on vacation, wearing very little and many interested in a vacation “romance.” These tourists made it very difficult for the rest of us, who worked and lived in Tunis and respected the customs of modest dress, and who did NOT want romance or even attention. We just wanted to live our mundane little lives in peace! But who could blame the men? To them, we were all the same, Western. To them, Western equalled loose. It made life very difficult for us. (she says with gritted teeth!)
From today’s Peninsula:
‘All men and women should avoid wearing skimpy dress’
Web posted at: 7/24/2009 3:8:12
Source ::: THE PENINSULA
DOHA: As the controversy over women from some nationalities wearing revealing clothes rages, there are some citizens who believe that females from some Arab nationalities cannot be excluded from these categories.
Perhaps, they (some Arab women) wear more revealing clothes than their Western counterparts, is the view of these citizens who call for waging a campaign to create public awareness about following a dress code in the public.
Men, especially those who wear sleeveless undergarments and half pants exposing themselves while in the public, are also a target of those who believe that a strict dress code should be followed by all foreigners in the country to respect local social and religious values and traditions.
Here is what some people, including men and women, feel about the issue:
Rashid Hassan — Qatari
“The embassies of major manpower exporting countries here should take a cue from the diplomatic mission of the US, which recently released an advisory for US nationals urging them not to wear revealing clothes. The embassies should also make people from their countries here aware of local social and religious traditions and the need to respect them.”
“We must also launch an awareness campaign. And in shopping centers, particularly which families frequent, security personnel should be trained and alerted to stop such people who are wearing revealing dresses from entering the premises.
“These security personnel should be Arab nationals because only they will be able to help enforce the dress code.”
Rakesh Patel — Indian
“We have to respect local social and religious values and traditions. We have come here to work, make some savings and go back to our respective home countries. So it is binding on us that as long as we are here, we must follow the local norms and traditions and not hurt in any way the sentiments of local people.”
“Like the US embassy, the Indian embassy here should also launch an awareness campaign for Indian expatriates on the issue. The embassy of the Philippines has also recently waged a similar campaign. It’s a welcome move. I am all for respecting local values and traditions at any cost.”
Wesal Hilmi — Syrian
“I am surprised that some married women are among those who wear revealing clothes. We don’t agree with such people. They have to respect our cultural, social and religious values which are reflected in the way we dress.”
“We have been hearing that a committee (at the government) has been set up which is
Looking into the issue and it is gearing up to launch an awareness campaign. If it is true it is a welcome development.”
Ahmed Sabir — Egyptian
“Arabs and Muslims like to cling to their heritage and culture. It is unfortunate that some foreigners here do not show any respect for our social values and traditions. However, we cannot force them to wear what we would like them to, but we can launch an awareness campaign and raise the issue with them. We can convince them through these campaigns to respect our culture, religious values and traditions.”
“In Ramadan, they do show respect for our values and practices. Likewise, they should be made aware and urged to respect our traditions as regards our dressing habits and the need not to wear revealing clothes in public.”
Sherwin — Flipino
“We are here to work. We must respect local people, their social and religious values and traditions.”
Vachy — Filipina
“We must follow and encourage what our country’s embassy here is doing urging us to respect local traditions. They should enforce a law in Qatar making a strict dress code in accordance with local traditions, mandatory.”
Abdullah Hussein — Qatari
“What one wears is one’s own choice. We can’t force people to wear clothes we like. It’s a matter of individual freedom and I believe in personal freedom.”
“I agree that people should respect our social and religious values and traditions, but they should do it voluntarily. We cannot force them. We can only make them aware through campaigns. We can convince them about that and we have to be extremely polite doing that.”
What we don’t want is for the Qataris to get to the point of forming the kind of morality police they have in Saudi Arabia, armed with sticks for hitting offenders, and with arbitrary powers to sort-of arrest offenders. If we don’t monitor ourselves, that is the risk we take.
This is not our country. We do not have the right to dress as we would back home. Please, get a clue.
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society
I don’t know why I didn’t read this book sooner! First, I saw people like me reading it in airports, and it certainly has a memorable title. The people reading looked totally engrossed. I’m not one to strike up conversations in airports, but on occasion, when I see people reading a book I don’t know about and it is the size of the books that book groups usually read, I will ask, and write it down, and bother the person no further.
I had ordered it on amazon.com when my son’s wife’s father’s wife (and you thought Gulf relationships were complicated!) mentioned to me in an e-mail that she was reading it and that she could barely tear herself away. She and I often pass really good books and/or recommendations back and forth, so that bumped it up a few notches in priority. When it got here, I had just finished Rutherfurd’s London (oops, I thought I had reviewed it, and I haven’t, so I will,) and I thought it was a southern book, like The Ya-Ya Sisterhood or Sweet Potato Queens, no, you are right, I hadn’t read anything about it, just trusted from all the people I saw reading it that it was good, but because of the name, I thought it would be light.
Wrong!
It isn’t depressingly heavy, like The Little Prisoner was heavy, and it had some totally wonderful laugh-out-loud moments, but the subject matter was the German occupation of the island of Guernsey, in the English Channel, and an author in search of a book topic in post-war London, and a little girl born outside of marriage and cared for by a village of caring people. It is spiced up by a dashing romance, and the process of relationship building that happens in the novel, unlikely relationships, aren’t those the very best kind for spice? 😉
The entire story is told in letters. The primary voice, that of Juliet, a thirty-something author, ties all the letters together, but not all letters are to her or from her. It is a great technique for allowing many different voices and many different perspectives. From the first page, you are captivated. Right now, Guernsey is more real to me than the boxes I need to unpack, and there is a part of me that yearns to flee to Guernsey and find a house near a cliff where I can watch the sun set in the west and the clouds turn colors . . .
Here is one sample of the kind of letters you will find when you read The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. Don’t wait! This is an unforgettable book!
1st May 1946
Dear Mark,
I didn’t refuse, you know. I said I wanted to think about it. You were so busy ranting about Sidney and Guernsey that perhaps you didn’t notice – I only said I wanted time. I’ve known you two months. It’s not long enough for me to be certain that we should spend the rest of our lives together, even if you are. I once made a terrible mistake and almost married a man I hardly knew (perhaps you read about it in the papers) – and at least in that case, the war was an extenuating circumstance. I won’t be such a fool again.
Think of it: I’ve never seen you home – I don’t even know where it is, really. New York, but which street? What does it look like? What color are your walls? Your sofa? Do you arrange books alphabetically? (I hope not.) Are your drawers tidy or messy? Do you ever hum, and if so, what? Do you prefer cats or dogs? Or fish? What on earth do you eat for breakfast – or do you have a cook?
You see? I don’t know you well enough to marry you.
I have one other piece of news that may interest you: Sidney is not your rival. I am not now nor have I ever been in love with Sidney, nor he with me. Nor will I ever marry him. Is that decisive enough for you?
Are you absolutely certain you wouldn’t rather be married to someone more tractable than I?
Juliet
Written by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows, the book will challenge your ideas, will inform you of an obscure episode in World War II, will make your heart sorrow at the inhumanity of which we human beings are capable towards one another, and make your heart sing at the goodness in the human soul. That’s pretty amazing for one book.
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