Follow Up on Honor Killing Prevented
This is from today’s Arab Times, and is a follow up to Saved By a Scream.
Bail in honour killing
Kuwait : Citing lack of evidence the Public Prosecution has released on KD 200 bail each the two people who had been detained for interrogation for allegedly attempting to kill their daughter in Saudi Arabia, reports Al-Watan Arabic daily.
The daily added the daughter will be referred to the Psychiatric Hospital.
Earlier it was reported the Saudi immigration officers manning the Al-Riqei border had foiled an attempt by an unidentified GCC family to kill their daughter to save their honor.
According to a security source the parents with their daughter and another sibling traveled to Salmi post and to prevent the ‘victim’ from screaming for help the family’s relative who allegedly works at the post hurried through the process of stamping the passports to help the family cross into Saudi Arabia as the family waited in their car.
When the girl reached the Saudi border post she screamed for help and told the immigration officers that her father planned to kill her.
The family was temporarily detained at the post until the Saudi authorities contacted the authorities in Kuwait. After the family was returned to Kuwait under guard, the relative who helped them at the Salmi post was arrested and detained for interrogation.
The girl was reportedly involved in an affair with an unidentified youth inside an apartment in Salmiya and became pregnant.
Maybe the psychiatric hospital is the only place where she can be safely held against attack from her family?
Reward to Find Runaway Groom
AdventureMan read this aloud to me from the Doha Peninsula News. I can’t help it, we both laughed our heads off:
Raipur: A poor villager of Chhattisgarh has announced a cash reward for anyone providing any information about his son who is missing since April 21, minutes after he was married to a girl against his wishes. Though police had registered a case of “missing” and still looking for the runaway groom, the family members of the bride, as well as the groom strongly believe that the groom was “carried away” by ghosts or some evil forces.
Brijlal, a poor farmer, or village Bhurkuni of Dhamtari district has appealed through local newspapers here Wednesday that he would offer Rs. 20,000 in cash to anyone who provides information about his son.
Good luck there, and hope the ghosts and evil spirits return him soon!
Saved by a Scream
This woman had a close call. I am re-assured that the family was taking her to Saudi Arabia to kill her; it implies that the climate in Kuwait does not support honor killings. Another tidbit from the Arab Times:
Screams help officers thwart bid to kill girl for soiling family name
KUWAIT CITY : The Saudi immigration officers manning the Al-Riqei border post are said to have reportedly foiled an attempt by an unidentified GCC family to kill their daughter to save their honor, reports Al-Watan Arabic daily.
According to a security source the parents with the daughter and another sibling traveled to Salmi post and to prevent the ‘victim’ from screaming for help the family’s relative who allegedly works at the post hurried through the process of stamping the passports to help the family cross into Saudi Arabia as the family waited in their car.
When the girl reached the Saudi border post she screamed for help and told the immigration officers that her father planned to kill her.
The family was temporarily detained at the post until the Saudi authorities contacted the authorities in Kuwait. After the family was returned to Kuwait under guard, the relative who helped them at the Salmi post was arrested and detained for interrogation.
The daily said it is a case of ‘honor killing’. The girl was reportedly involved in an affair with an unidentified youth inside an apartment in Salmiya and she became pregnant.
Meanwhile, the Al-Anba daily added, when the girl was in police custody the brother grabbed his younger sister and threatened to shoot her in front of the building of the Criminal Investigations Department.
He was demanding the release of his other sister who was caught having fun with the youth inside an apartment after a missing person report was filed against her.
A police sniper shot the man in the arm and rescued the younger sibling.
I can’t imagine her life will be easy, if she is pregnant, unmarried, and has a family who wants her dead. I can’t imagine that Kuwait has social services that can help her negotiate a path. Life will be difficult, but it sure beats what was about to happen to her in Saudi Arabia.
It Gives Me Hope
You know who I am, I’m pretty consistent in what I have to say. I believe we all have a lot more in common than we have differences, and I want us to find ways to get along. We, as a species, spend so much time and energy and resources fighting over the pettiest differences. How will we ever call ourselves civilized until we can treat every fellow creature with respect?
I bet Cupertino has problems, too. I know for one thing it is incredibly expensive. Most of what I saw there, I really liked. Whole Foods. High Tech Engineering. A wide variety of people, all working together in peace.
At our hotel, there were five weddings taking place the same day as “our” wedding. I came down in the elevator with one couple and their parents, and I got a photo of them in the hotel garden area before their wedding:
The groom is from India, and the bride is Chinese. The parents, and all the relatives are gathered, and dressed in gorgeous, flowing silks, and the bride and groom are just amazingly in love with each other and it is so beautiful, they are all so happy.
Cupertino takes a lot of pride in being beautiful, and the buildings they build are beautiful and they have “campuses” where lots of related buildings are connected with winding garden paths and ponds full of ducks.
I particularly love this sculpture:
Which looks totally different from the side:
There were flowers and plants everywhere. Many I couldn’t even recognize. I would have to learn a whole new world of gardening in California:
The Grande Finale
Here’s the problem. Our weddings are SO much fun. We all get there early, and as Maurice Sendak says – “Let the wild rumpus begin!”
I think many of you have the same families – we raise our children as a village. My sisters’ children are precious to me, and mine to them. They have visited back and forth between our houses since they were little. When we gather, you never know who will be with what family, which room people will gather in – it is one constant high-energy party.
And, it can also be totally exhausting!
Yesterday was the grand finale, THE wedding. It took place at Ainsley House, in Campbell, CA:
The weather has been unseasonably cool, so there was concern about rain during the wedding. Fortunately, it never rained, the sun came out, the bride was gorgeous and everything came off without a hitch. The bride and groom took their vows:
And then they exchanged rings:
After rings were exchanged, and the couple declared man and wife, the guests went on to the reception hall, while the bride and groom and family and attendants had a lengthy photo session. When we gathered for the wedding dinner, it was truly a night to remember!
I loved her table decorations; restrained, elegant, perfect for a beautifully planned wedding:
The wedding dinner:
The Greek side of the family danced, and the Iranian side laughed and said they were dancing Iranian style. The Iranians showed us all how to DANCE, and Sparkle is very very good at it. I think she had some coaching from her new daughter-in-law. Everyone had great fun comparing the different styles of dancing:
Our children are marrying into other “villages” and our own village just keeps expanding. It gives me such immense joy to watch this happen; the world grows smaller and smaller. Our children are choosing their mates with care – and joy! And they are choosing well, uniting us with tribes and clans who share the same values, if not nationalities.
We wish you all happiness, Earthling and Bride!
NOLA, Palo Alto
The rehersal dinner was at a really fun restaurant in Palo Alto, NOLA (New Orleans, Louisiana) and the good times started rolling even before we left the hotel, as wedding invitees gathered to car pool and head down the highways to the dinner. We had instructions, but we were following the car in front of us, and so had a great adventure en route. Everyone finally got there just fine, the music was loud, the crowd was hoppin’ and the food was fabulous.
Hurricanes waiting on the table to greet the guests:
The appetizer plates (I couldn’t get to it fast enough to take a photo before some had disappeared!)
We started with soups and salads, but I forgot to take photos (there is a lot of visiting going on at these events!) so here is some fabulous jambalaya:
And what’s left of delicious king salmon:
I was honored to sit with the bride’s mother, originally from Tehran, and oh! what great conversations we had. The whole purpose of the rehearsal dinner is to give the families time to get to know one another a little, to provide a network for the young marrying couple, to give support. Our weddings are GREAT affairs – now I am going to brag a little. Our young generation of marrying age has chosen such fine mates. The bride in this wedding is a pistol; she and Earthling are so well matched, so good to each other and so good at supporting one another. And I love her mother! We had a great time visiting with each other.
And then – oh my – the desserts! Beignets and bread pudding:
People were scraping the sauces right off the serving plate, not wanting to waste a single tasty bite, they were that good!
This morning, the bride, my sister the groom’s mother, my mother and a host of attendants are off to the hairdressers to get hair and nails and make up done, the whole wedding ritual. I am thankful to be a minor character today – I have packing to do, and with the new packing regulations, I am in a world of hurt. I know if I need to I can buy another suitcase, but I am hoping I will not have to do that.
Last night was a truly great evening, (Thank you, Sparkle and MarinerMan!) and as good as it was, as delicious and fun filled as it was, it was just the prelude to the big event today. 🙂
UPDATE:
Hi there,
I noticed you wrote about our restaurant, Nola, on 5/25/2008 (https://intlxpatr.wordpress.com/2008/05/25/nola-palo-alto/). We really appreciate the mention! Recently, we created a new site that lets our customers order online with their desktop or smartphone. It’s an exciting addition to our restaurant, so we’re reaching out to you to ask for a small favor…
If you could help us by adding our new website (http://www.nolapaloalto.com) on your post about Nola, we’d really appreciate it! I know you wrote this post a while back so hopefully it’s not too much trouble!
Again, thanks so much for supporting our restaurant by mentioning us on your site. Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any questions. Thanks there!
Cheers,
Your fans at Nola
Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen
This is another one of those books I picked up on the last day of my last travels in the US. I had been through the Barnes and Noble nearby several times, picked this up and looked at is at least a dozen times, then put it down, just not that interested. On the last day, who knows why, I bought it and stuck it in my outer pocket of my suitcase. Maybe it was the only thing I could see that would fit, I don’t know. I had rejected it so many times before.
It hasn’t even been on my night stand, the books I really really intend to read. It has been on a shelf of books I will read someday when I don’t have anything else to do. Every now and then, it caught my eye. The Zanzibar Chest was on the same shelf. . . and that turned out to be a pretty good book. So recently, after I had read some books I had to read but were a little dry, and a couple books I wanted to read which were a little light, I grabbed Water for Elephants.
That was day before yesterday. I couldn’t put it down. I had a whole list of things to get done yesterday, but once I started Water for Elephants, I was lost, totally immersed in the tawdry world of circuses, bound in the magic of the illusion and performances, mesmerized by what goes on behind the scenes to make the spectacular possible.
The main character loses his parents in a totally unnecessary car accident just as he is about to take his final exams in Veterinary Science, at Cornell University. (You might think I am throwing in too much useless detail here, but it matters.) Stunned by the triple loss of both his parents, and the discovery that they had hocked everything to the bank to fund his education, he blanks on his exams and hits the road, ending up with a second rate circus.
What is so amazing about this author is that once you start reading, you are THERE.
The above mentioned Zanzibar Chest keeps you hooked by it’s painfullness, but for both AdventureMan and myself, we never liked the author, we found him a little full of himself. It doesn’t take away from the Zanzibar Chest being a worthy read, and unforgettable read.
Water for Elephants, on the other hand, has a hero you love to love. In a world of strict boundaries, a heirarchical social structure, he manages to cross all the boundaries. He truly loves the animals, and in one scene, that love just radiates, emanates, it illuminates the book from the inside, and makes you feel light and crazy with that same sort of love, love of the whole of creation. Jakob is loyal to his friends, and loyal even to his enemies, he is sacrificial in his loyalty, and, in the end, he is vastly and abundantly rewarded for his good character.
There is something for everyone, just like a circus. Like a circus, too, it has illusions, it distracts with one hand while the trick is performed with another, there is sensuality, there is sexuality, there are photos from old circuses. There are things which could offend just about every sensibility; there is kindness, there is cruelty, justice and injustice and cosmic justice. Sometimes you just have to suspend judgement and go with the read. This is one of those books.
I would say this is one of the finest reading experiences I have had for a long time. Brava, Sara Gruen. Worth every penny.
I’ve told AdventureMan as soon as he finishes The Zanzibar Chest, he has to start Water for Elephants. I can hardly wait. It’s that good.
You can find Water for Elephants in paperback at Amazon.com for $8.37 + shipping.
Saudi Men Arrested for Flirting
This is in today’s BBC News.
Saudi men arrested for ‘flirting’
Relations between the sexes outside marriage is against the law
Prosecutors in Saudi Arabia have begun investigating 57 young men who were arrested on Thursday for flirting with girls at shopping centres in Mecca.
The men are accused of wearing indecent clothes, playing loud music and dancing in order to attract the attention of girls, the Saudi Gazette reported.
They were arrested following a request of the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice.
The mutaween enforce Saudi Arabia’s conservative brand of Islam, Wahhabism.
Earlier in the month, the authorities enforced a ban on the sale of red roses and other symbols used in many countries to mark Valentine’s Day.
The ban is partly because of the connection with a “pagan Christian holiday”, and also because the festival itself is seen as encouraging relations between the sexes outside marriage, punishable by law in the kingdom.
You can read the whole article HERE.
I wonder . . . is this what is going to happen in Kuwait? So like they segregate the university. . . then they segregate all the schools, EVEN THE PRIVATE SCHOOLS, so there is no choice. . . then they start patrolling the malls?
I lived in Saudi Arabia, and I remember the mutawaaeen were NOT police, but sometimes they took on the prerogatives of the police. So I have to wonder, like who made the arrest in the malls? Was it the police? Was it the mutawa hitting the boys with their little sticks? Did they call the boys parents? I have SO many questions!
Dubai Rape Case Update (Two)
In another tiny little article, but high up on page 3 of the Kuwait Times is:
UAE Court Upholds Verdict in Rape Case
Dubai: An appeals court in the United Arab Emirates yesterday upheld 15 year jail terms handed down against two Emiratis convicted of raping a French-Swiss teenager, and AFP journalist said. The judge in Dubai took just a few seconds to announce his ruling after proceedings opened. The defense wanted the sentences pronounced on December 12 to be quashed, and a lawyer for the two men told AFP after Sunday’s ruling that a further appeal would be lodged with the supreme court. Prosecutors had demanded the maximum punishment, which could have meant the death penalty. A third defendant is being tried in a juvenile court. One of the men who raped the European teenager was HIV-positive, but has since been found to be clear of the sexually transmittable disease. The boy’s mother, Veronique Robert, launched a media campaign to publicize the case and gather support for her demand that the UAE recognize homosexual rape in its legal system and set up institutions to treat AIDs sufferers. She protested against the original verdict, saying that “15 years is nothing for someone who knew he had AIDs.”
Comment: Did you read this sentence?:
One of the men who raped the European teenager was HIV-positive, but has since been found to be clear of the sexually transmittable disease.
Can you tell me who has been found to be clear of the disease? One of the men? The teenager?
Comment 2: Bravo, UAE judges!
Date Night Sparks
This is the #1 most e-mailed article from the New York Times, and you can read the entire article by clicking HERE:
Reinventing Date Night for Long-Married Couples
By TARA PARKER-POPE
Published: February 12, 2008
Long-married couples often schedule a weekly “date night” — a regular evening out with friends or at a favorite restaurant to strengthen their marital bond.
But brain and behavior researchers say many couples are going about date night all wrong. Simply spending quality time together is probably not enough to prevent a relationship from getting stale.
Using laboratory studies, real-world experiments and even brain-scan data, scientists can now offer long-married couples a simple prescription for rekindling the romantic love that brought them together in the first place. The solution? Reinventing date night.
Rather than visiting the same familiar haunts and dining with the same old friends, couples need to tailor their date nights around new and different activities that they both enjoy, says Arthur Aron, a professor of social psychology at the State University of New York at Stony Brook. The goal is to find ways to keep injecting novelty into the relationship. The activity can be as simple as trying a new restaurant or something a little more unusual or thrilling — like taking an art class or going to an amusement park.
The theory is based on brain science. New experiences activate the brain’s reward system, flooding it with dopamine and norepinephrine. These are the same brain circuits that are ignited in early romantic love, a time of exhilaration and obsessive thoughts about a new partner. (They are also the brain chemicals involved in drug addiction and obsessive-compulsive disorder.)
Most studies of love and marriage show that the decline of romantic love over time is inevitable. The butterflies of early romance quickly flutter away and are replaced by familiar, predictable feelings of long-term attachment.
But several experiments show that novelty — simply doing new things together as a couple — may help bring the butterflies back, recreating the chemical surges of early courtship.
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