Big Girls Don’t Cry?
Listening to SUPERSTATION 99.7 as I am working, I find myself exasperated, from time to time, by the lyrics to some of the songs.
Today, it is Big Girls Don’t Cry. I remember a totally different song with the same name from back a while ago, and actually I like this one better, because she talks about cutting it off and just moving on – and I agree. Sometimes you just have to cut your losses.
But I think big girls – and guys – do cry.
(Picasso’s Weeping Woman)
A researcher actually explored why we cry:
Frey investigated a question his mother had asked him: “Why is it that people cry tears?” He would pursue the answer, alongside his Alzheimer’s work, for many years. He took a scientific approach to her inquiry, and he discovered emotional tears were chemically different from other tears. That research resulted in interviews with People magazine, the Today Show, Good Morning America, and others, as well as a book, Crying: The Mystery of Tears (Harper and Row). “Perhaps the reason people feel better after crying is that they’re removing chemicals that build up during stress,” Frey suggests, adding that the question remains open to further research.
This is from a Washington University Alumni magazine.
I don’t know if there has been any further research on crying, but originally, I remember him stating that emotional tears carried away poisons that stress build in the body. It makes sense to me. I don’t cry all that often, but when I do, when I cry and it’s one of those blow-it-all-out cries, the kind that give you a headache if you carry on for too long – afterwards, you just feel wonderful!
And you wonder why you even let her/him/it assume so much importance in your life?
And you wonder “What was I thinking???”
Sometimes a good cry just puts everything back in proportion and you really CAN move on.
Or that’s how I see it. I don’t mean to go all drama-queen, I am just talking about a good old fashioned lock-yourself-in-the-bedroom-and-cry kind of cry.
But maybe you see it differently. I think big girls DO cry, and for good reasons, and then we move on. But this might be a cultural thing, and I am willing to entertain other ways of looking at it. What do YOU think?
Tang Chow and Gulf Road
I’ve written about Tang Chow before. I know, I know, you are looking for something new. But (there’s always that “but”) when Adventure Man called and said “what do you want to do about dinner” and I said “I just have a hankering for Tang Chow”, he said “Me too! I’ve been thinking about it all day!”
It’s great when you are married to someone who likes the same food at the same time. No, it isn’t always instant agreement.
Sometimes, we’ll be going out and he will say “where are we going?” and I will give him three options, and he won’t like any of them. So then I say, “Ok, OK where is it YOU really want to go?” and he will tell me and we will go there. Sometimes it works out OK, and sometimes there just isn’t much on the menu I really like, but we try to take turns getting to choose when we can’t agree. But if one of us really objects, then we go somewhere else.
We never disagree when it comes to Tang Chow. The only negative factor is the traffic on Gulf Road. What a hassle!
Last week we were caught in that horrid traffic (and it’s only August! Not even as bad as when school starts!) and there was a car to our left with the lights on inside, four women primping, literally with compacts, checking their own lips, checking their eyes, clearly ON DISPLAY but pretending to be oblivious to all the attention they were getting from the guys trying to get their attention.
And the guys in front of us, in a great big SUV, trying to get the girls’ attention, HIT the car in front of them, full of a family bringing a brand new baby home from the hospital.
Guys, take it off the road! Court in the parking lots, court at Chili’s, court at the coffee houses or at the Malls – take it off the road.
You have my sympathy, truly. I know it is really really tough here, almost impossible, to get to know the girls. And you have all those raging hormones. Still – take it OFF THE ROAD.
We could see the young men were really really sorry they had hit the family. I am betting they learned from the experience, and, God willing, will keep their eyes on the road when they are driving, but I am afraid to hope for too much.
Sex Education Trouble in India
This is from yesterday’s BBC News Asia
(Every country had differences on whether sex education should be taught in the classroom, and if it should be taught, how it should be taught. Our current political administration paid a lot of money to support an abstinence campaign, which proved a failure. So how do we best protect our young?)
Sex education runs into trouble
The Indian government’s recent attempt to introduce sex education for school children has provoked a vigorous debate. In the second of two articles, the BBC’s Jyotsna Singh considers the case against a more open discussion of sex in schools.
The decision to introduce sex education in India’s schools, aimed primarily at creating awareness about HIV-Aids, has generated howls of protests from many quarters.
Many women’s organisations and religious groups as well as several politicians say exposing children to an open debate on the subject, specially in classrooms, will make them “more permissive”.
More than 30% of Indian states have rejected the federal government-supported sex education programme.
The Secondary School Teachers’ Association in Uttar Pradesh state has even threatened to make a bonfire of books if sex education isn’t withdrawn immediately.
Several teachers and student groups have objected to the teaching aid or kit to be used for educating the pupils in the class.
One of the main objects that has drawn the ire of the protestors is a flip chart, prepared jointly by the Unicef and government-controlled National Aids Control Organisation (Naco) to facilitate the government’s adolescent education programme.
‘Too graphic’
The chart, entitled “Knowledge is Power”, contains illustrations and images dealing with issues related to growing up and relationships in the context of sexually transmitted infections and HIV/Aids.
The chart also contains a chapter on essential skills needed to prevent the disease.
But protesters say the visuals in the chart are too “graphic”.
The right-wing Hindu organisation Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS) blames “a Western mindset behind the move”.
“We run about 26,000 schools across the country. Our teachers have studied the curriculum and they find it obscene and objectionable,” RSS spokesman Ram Madhav told the BBC.
“The whole curriculum is designed to suit the lifestyle in Western countries, where there is a general free atmosphere. In our country we live with families.”
You can read the rest of this article HERE.
Men’s Evolutionary Role
I love BBC Health News and find the most amazing stories there, things I don’t see anywhere else. Today’s has to do with women living longer, and studies on aging.
Women, not men, ensure the success of future generations, work suggests.
Grans surviving beyond the menopause appeared to increase the likelihood that their own children went on to have children, a Sheffield team found.
Yet grandfathers had very little influence on their offspring’s reproductive success, Proceedings of the Royal Society B reports.
But experts were quick to stress that both grandparents play a vital role in families and society.
The Sheffield University authors reason that women thrive following the menopause from caring for their own children and grandchildren.
In their study, grandmothers gained two extra grandchildren for every 10 years they survived beyond the menopause.
This link was not found with aged granddads, however.
Instead, the scientists say the “evolutionary” argument for a man’s survival to a ripe old age is to continue to churn out sperm and procreate.
You can read more about the study, conducted in Finland, HERE.
Friday Fun: Wishin’ and Hopin’
To hear this dusty old Dusty Springfield classic, you can go down to the U-Tube video below, or you can put on My Best Friend’s Wedding, just for the intro, where the song is acted out, all in pink if I remember correctly, a very 50’s rendition.
Here are the words, found at stlyrics.com. And a big thanks to Little Diamond who by finding all the lyrics to “Put the Lime in the Coconut” for me, taught me that anything, ANYTHING is available on the internet, if you have the time to search!
Artist: Dusty Springfield Lyrics
Song: Wishin’ and Hopin’ Lyrics
Wishin’ and hopin’ and thinkin’ and prayin’
Plannin’ and dreaming each night of his charms
That won’t get you into his arms
So if you’re lookin’ to find love you can share
All you gotta do is
Hold him and kiss him and love him
And show him that you care
Show him that you care just for him
And do the things he likes to do
Wear your hair just for him, ’cause
You won’t get him
Thinkin’ and a-prayin’
Wishin’ and a-hopin’
Just wishin’ and hopin’ and thinkin’ and prayin’
Plannin’ and dreamin’ his kiss is the start
That won’t get you into his heart
So if you’re thinkin’ heartbreak
True love is
All you gotta do is
Hold him and kiss him and squeeze him and love him
Yeah, just do it and after you do, you will be his
(You gotta)
Show him that you care just for him
Do the things he likes to do
Wear your hair just for him, ’cause
You won’t get him
Thinkin’ and a-prayin’
Wishin’ and a-hopin’
Just wishin’ and hopin’ and thinkin’ and prayin’
Plannin’ and dreamin’ his kiss is the start
That won’t get you into his heart
So if you’re thinkin’ heartbreak
True love is
All you gotta do is
Hold him and kiss him and squeeze him and love him
Yeah, just do it and after you do, you will be his
You will be his
You will be his
So on this lazy Friday morning, ponder this – Is My Best Friend’s Wedding really a comedy? Is there both truth and fiction in the above song lyrics (the song itself is a hoot – irresistable! Go take a listen!) And while we are laughing, to what extent do you sacrifice who you really are to attain a mate?
Update: Holy smokes, Skunk, it’s THAT easy???? Thanks again!
Trains and Boats and Planes
Adventure Man, this is for you . . . old Dionne Warwick, as good as ever, singing the smokey, soulful Trains and Boats and Planes
I’d forgotten how GOOD she is!
Blarney Blarney Blarney
There is a two syllable word that starts with “b” and has to do with bulls and excrement and you use it to imply that someone is saying something that is not true. It is not a polite word, but there is a perfectly good two syllable word that also starts with a “b” and that is “blarney.”
When Adventure Man is chatting me up about something, and I can see where it is going, him spinning all these illusions and wanting my buy-in and this is the perfect “b” word to use: Blarney, Blarney, Blarney. We always end up laughing.
And Blarney is the word-a-day for today:
This week’s theme: toponyms coined after places in Ireland.
blarney (BLAHR-nee) noun
1. Flattery.
2. Misleading talk.
[After the Blarney stone, a stone in Blarney Castle in Blarney village,
near Cork, Ireland which, according to legend, gives the gift of the gab
to anyone who kisses it.]
A Word a Day is in the blogroll to the right, or you can subscribe to A Word a Day here.
Rules of Engagement
As you know, I am from a very close, very funny family. Earthling, my nephew, just got engaged.
We’ve all been waiting. Almost from the beginning, we knew this girl was THE ONE. We almost always know. They announced their engagement by sending a series of photos of a hike they took near Google Valley in California, including the photo of the bride-elect and her new ring. We are dancing for joy, that these two dear people have found one another and are committing their futures to one another.
And – the bride-to-be has started a blog called Rules of Engagement. She is a very funny, very clever writer, and will take you step by step through the travails of an American style wedding.
Enjoy!
“But We Have Final Exams!”
Kuwait Times, June 9, 2007
Three Teens Held for Rape Attempt
A source revealed that three 18 year old boys were walking on a pedestrian path in Mishref and they saw a 22 year old girl walking on the same path. The teens then tried to rape the girl, but she started crying and she tried to call police. Then the youths assaulted her. She recorded the plate number of the gang’s two cars then the teens got afraid and tried to fabricate a story and called police before her. When the police came, and saw the girl and the boys, she started crying and told police that they sexually assaulted her. First, they denied but following an intensive investigation they confessed and started BEGGING THE POLICEMEN TO RELEASE THEM BECAUSE THEY HAD EXAMS. (emphasis added by blogger) The police filed a case and referred the boys to the authorities.
My comment: You do the crime, you do the time. You have exams? What do you think you have done to this young 22 year old gal’s life??? You terrorized her!
And bravo to the judge in California who put that little ferret Paris Hilton back in jail, too.
Real Simple
It’s a quiet Friday morning and we have time to loll around before we have to get ready for church. I am focused on writing a tough entry for my blog and Adventure Man is on the couch, paging through a magazine, Real Simple.
He starts reading from an article called “Is he driving you crazy?” which lists the top five complaints of women, and then men:
Women:
He’s not affectionate enough.
He doesn’t listen to me.
He doesn’t help around the house.
He raises his voice when we argue.
He never talks about tough issues.
Men:
She’s trying to control me.
She objects when I need time alone.
We don’t have enough sex.
She criticizes me.
She treats me like an idiot.
The whole article, with all the expert solutions, is available HERE.
Two of them cracked us up.
Her Complaint: He’s not affectionate enough
Expert: Even though your partner loves you, he might express his feelings differently. Generally speaking, “men feel closer when there’s sex. For women to feel affectionate, there has to be talk.”
His complaint: We don’t have enough sex
Expert: The impulse to get romantic declines for most couples but “men are more likely to feel an urge for sex,” says (expert). “Once women get going, they enjoy it but often they don’t have the same initial urge they might have had as teenagers.” So if he’s rushing you to bed, let him know that you’d like to cuddle and talk a bit first . . . If your needs are truly mis-matched, talk about how many “relations” you’ll have in your relationship. Ask “What’s your ideal range of frequency per week? If he says three to five, and you say one to three, then aim for an average of about three times.”
Here is what got us rolling with laughter – my husband is a consumate negotiator. It doesn’t matter what the reality would be, he would up the figure. So like he might say “30 times a week” knowing that half that would be twice a day. It wouldn’t matter that he really doesn’t want sex twice a day, he would have sealed a deal that guaranteed him sex twice a day IF he wanted it.
But he knows my tricks, too, and moments later he is showered, shaved, he smells wonderful AND . . . he is making the bed! He totally knows how to get what he wants.
Recent Comments
intlxpatr on Shampoo Ginger tigerbutterya0c5ff1d… on Shampoo Ginger intlxpatr on British Soldier Kidnapped, Esc… John on British Soldier Kidnapped, Esc… intlxpatr on British Soldier Kidnapped, Esc… Wikipedia Donate Button
Amazina
Early Voting in Florida
Here There and Everywhere 