Here There and Everywhere

Expat wanderer

Hidden Gems in Pensacola: Update 2023

It’s July in Pensacola, hot, humid, and lazy. The beaches are crowded with vacationers, mostly from landlocked Southern states; most of the international visitors head for Miami or Tampa/St. Pete where there is a more active beach life. Pensacola is more laid back and likes it that way. The boat launch parking lots are overflowing. The bridge to the beach is at its busiest. The Blue Angels flew this weekend to thrill the hearts of thousands of viewers.

Things change slowly in Pensacola, but they DO change. One of the things that change is restaurants. In the midst of COVID, in 2020, I wrote Hidden Gems; Restaurants We Love in Pensacola. It still gets a lot of hits from beach-goers, but it needs to be updated.

These are our go-to restaurants in Pensacola, for people who love eating out. Even our dearest friends and family have other preferences, restaurants they like that we find are not for us, so there is no objectivity whatsoever in our choice of these restaurants, only that we find ourselves choosing them over and over – mostly because their food tastes really good, and that matters to us. Most of them are very very casual.

My all-time favorite, Siam Thai, is closed until later this month so the staff can “honor their ancestors”. I love the freshness of their food, as well as the tastiness of each and every dish. Some days it will be their Steak or Chicken salads, another day it will be chicken and basil or Swimming Rama. It’s all good. They expect to re-open on July 23, 2023 but check online because they are family owned and operated and not always open just because we expect them to be.

Our next very favorite is Kingfisher. Again, not fancy. Pensacolians tell us it used to be a famous sandwich shop. Now, they have some of the best, most creative food in town. I would call it a Michelin red R, good local food at reasonable prices. You can’t go wrong with their chowder or their gumbo. Their hamburger is astonishingly memorable. Their fish platters are always good, and they do a winter squash salad that I cannot resist (in season). Our son loves their Alabama White BBQ chicken (so do I). You can have sandwiches, or you can have salads, or you can have full platters; they are all good. (Edit: To our horror and grief, Kingfisher closed in October 2023. We can only hope it’s because they are negotiating another location.)

Sometimes Kingfisher gets really busy and we can’t get in. Our next choice is nearby, Nick’s Boat House. It has a great location, right on the water, with pelicans, herons, and an occasional Blue Angel flying by. Their food is standard Pensacola fare, Oyster or Shrimp Po’Boys, seafood platters, gumbo, a really nice lobster bisque, several main course salads, and a dynamite Salmon Piccata that draws me to Nick’s every time.

Also on the map above you will see Jaco’s, also good for seafood, and charcuterie, and is probably the best restaurant location in Pensacola. Outdoor seating is available and gives you time to spend with the gorgeous view. Jaco’s is a happening place. We love their salmon burgers.

I love the tuna at Fin and Fork, probably the only place in town where I eat mashed potatoes, because I shouldn’t, but the Fin and Fork mashed potatoes, served with the seared tuna, are too delicious to resist. They have really really good oysters, and a creme brulee, also irresistable. Their gumbo and bisque are exquisite.

Hard to describe, quirky, and in the heart of Old Pensacola is Juan’s Flying Burritos. It’s not Mexican, or it’s sort of a Mexican food format gone wild. If you expect Mexican, you will be disappointed. I have two great favorites, The Three Little Pigs tacos, and the Vietnamese Tacos. The Three Little Pigs are small tacos, filled with three different kinds of pork, each so delicious I cannot pick a favorite. It’s very creative, and if you order the right thing, you will love it.

Pensacola is blessed with some very fine Middle Eastern cooking, code-word Mediterranean so no one gets goosey. Zeytouna makes our hearts sing, especially the stuffed vegetables, the moussaka, the salads, oh my the grilled halloumi. Sister to a favorite restaurant we love in Baton Rouge, Al Basha, a meal at Zeytouna yields two or three more meals at home, so while it can be a little pricey for Pensacola, it dollar cost averages out to be very reasonable – as well as delicious.

When we gather as a family, it is often at Ichiban, on North Davis, because there is something for everyone. Recently, we have also started going to Kalbi Ichiban, on West Garden. While the menus are similar, Kalbi Ichiban has a younger vibe – a bar area, larger spaces, harder surfaces, and more options on the menu. Last time at Kalbi Ichiban, I had their bulgogi, which was very good, so much it served for several meals. At Ichiban, we usually have a bento box, because we love the variety.

For sheer comfort, for the best Vietnamese Pho and noodle dishes, and when I am sick, Tudo’s is our go-to. Always full of local Vietnamese residents, UWF students and faculty, and medical staff from West Florida Hospital, Tudo’s has great summer rolls (sometimes called salad rolls; the uncooked rice paper wrapped noodle and shrimp rolls served with peanut sauce) and huge bowls of noodles with barbecued chicken, pork, shrimp, egg rolls in any combination you want. I swear that if I start to feel sick, their chicken wonton soup, which we buy by the quart without the wontons, heals me almost immediately.

For quick but delicious sandwiches, and for a great choice of salads, soups, and desserts, there is our old favorite, the New Yorker Deli. On Tuesdays, they have Crayfish Etoufee’ which they also might have on Wednesday if there is any left. They always have the irresistible Double Lovin’ Spoonful chocolate cake, The Best Reuben in Town, and other thick, satisfying sandwiches and pizzas. The place is usually packed with locals and their families and all their best friends, so get there early. If the weather is nice, eat out on the deck.

On this same map above, you will also see the Publix Supermarket at Gulf Breeze and one on Cervantes in East Hill. Publix has a huge selection of take-away foods, all prepared, and also makes great sandwiches. You get to choose your own bread and toppings to go with the sandwich you order, and the ladies who make these sandwiches do a really great job.

Shoreline Deli and Joe Patti’s are both along West Main. Shoreline Deli has a great Deli which will make hot and cold sandwiches, and huge delicious salads while you wait. Waiting is the fun part – Shoreline Deli has the best olive oil in town, a huge spice selection, local honey, imported snacks and specialties, and a huge variety of chips and sweets. Joe Patti’s is a self-advertised foodie destination – and it really is. The best time to avoid the long lines waiting for fresh seafood is early in the morning, unless it is Christmas Eve Day, and there will already be a long line when the store opens. They make a lot of great specialties – Spicy Tuna Dip, seafood salad, fresh hot gumbo and chowder, really nice French, Sourdough, and Ciabatta. We all shop at Joe Patti’s!

You will also have noticed on several of these maps the Palafox Market on Palafox Street, which is open on Saturday mornings with featuring local farmers, craftspeople, old folk singers, freshly baked bread, pastries and pies, fresh coffee and homemade mustards (and other condiments) – a great place to browse on a Saturday morning, to people watch and to get a little feeling for the Pensacola Parade Culture – be sure to look up at those trees overhead to see how many beads you can see stranded there from a plethora of parades. Both Saint Michael’s Basilica and Christ Church Episcopal are often open for tours when the Market is open, giving you a chance to take a peek at these two historical Pensacola churches.

El Asador, one of our nation’s best food trucks is still semi-permanently located at the Shell Station at 7955 North Davis Highway. It’s worth the drive, and it’s worth the stand in line. The smell of the grilling chicken is intoxicating. We like to order the chicken platter, but we also love their tacos and burritos. This is some of the best Mexican food in Pensacola.

The restaurants we have told you about above are not the ones you will find written up in major American travel magazines, but they are the tried and true local places where Pensacolians eat on a daily basis. There are some great higher-end places to eat, also, and below I will share our favorites. True classics – they were on my first list of Hidden Gems, even though they are not so hidden :-).

For steaks, you can’t beat McGuires Irish Pub for a reliable great meal and great service, every time. Be prepared to wait – McGuire’s sometimes has wait times of an hour or more. A local secret – go for lunch on a day when there is a parade or a Blue Angels show, and you can get right in.

Flounders, on the beach, is also a McGuire’s restaurant and has the same kind of high-quality reliability. We go there often; we love their chowder. For a Gulf-coast restaurant, they also do a great job of searing salmon to top a Caesar salad. I love their Baja tacos and just about anything they grill.

For a great night out, for us, it is still The Grand Marlin. We’ve never had a bad meal there, nor had bad service. I go for their TGM New Orleans Shrimp, or for Cioppino or Bouillabaisse when they have it. They do everything right.

For a quiet, private celebration, or when we have special friends in town, we drive out to Fisherman’s Corner; you make a right turn just before the Theodore Baars bridge going over to Perdido Key. There is a huge apartment – or condo (?) complex going up on your right, then a Dog care salon, and then a place that looks like a bait shop, except there are cars parked everywhere and people holding drinks waiting to get in. The food is always fresh. If they haven’t been able to find it fresh, they’ll tell you when you sit down that it is not available. We have never had a bad meal here, and we have had some good wine.

If you took a look at the previous hidden gems, you will see that these last four were on that list too. A classic is a classic. These four restaurants thrive because of their focus on the entire experience. They make people feel welcome and they take pride in serving the best food.

Bon appetit!

(Suggestions and recommendations are always welcome 😊)

July 11, 2023 Posted by | Community, Cooking, Cultural, Eating Out, Food, Geography / Maps, GoogleEarth, Pensacola, Quality of Life Issues, Restaurant, Travel | Leave a comment

Jazzy BBQ, a FAO Adventure in Pensacola

We are driving up Davis, because AdventureMan wants me to see a new Halal Market he has found (you can get some wild ingredients in these specialty stores in Pensacola) when he spots Jazzy Bar-B-Q. We continued on to the market, where I found all the exotic and wonderful spices and legumes I used to find in the LuLu and Family Food Stores in Doha, but AdventureMan was still thinking about Jazzy Bar-B-Q, and so today when it came time to think about lunch, he knew just where he wanted to go, and the adventure began.

AdventureMan was a Foreign Area Officer when we were in the military, and to be that sort, you truly have to have a spirit of adventure.

We got to Jazzy Bar-B-Q around noon, but the door was closed and a lady laden with deliveries was just leaving.

“Don’t leave!” she called out. “He’ll be right back. He’s just making deliveries! He’s my son!”

We drove around the block for a better parking spot and she was just about to leave. “Here!” she said, thrusting one of the delivery sacks in our direction, “I want you to have this to nibble on while you wait.”

“Oh no, oh no,” we said, but this dear woman insisted, gave AdventureMan the container, and drove off saying she was calling her son to tell him we were there.

Ribs, chicken wings, greens and mac ‘n cheese. All very tasty! AdventureMan held off, but I had a wing and a rib while we waited.

Very soon, Phil arrived, unlocked and invited us in. In reality, he is a noted musician, and the restaurant was started by his Mama, who also does some of the cooking. For example, for tonight he has jumbo shrimp in an Alfredo sauce for his dinners. He has a lot of customers who aren’t able to get out anymore, and the food he creates is more of a ministry than a business. He cooks with love.

We were the only ones there, and as Phil fixed our meals, he told us about his family (originally from Pritchard, Alabama, then many years as New Yorkers, then to Pensacola) and his customers. It reminded me of the kind of hospitality we often received in the Middle East, listening to stories as food was created.

Phil sent us out with so much food, and a green pepper that after we eat, we are to salvage the seeds and use them in our garden. We brought it home – it was all delicious. I was especially glad he had greens, and they were amazing.

I ordered the rib plate, and I got enough ribs for a week! AdventureMan ordered the pulled pork sandwich, and got two!

(Sorry, we had already tucked in when I remembered to take a photo.)

Long story short. Jazzy Bar-B-Q is more than just food; it is also about those who prepare it and those who are eating it. We loved this experience, and we will be going back.

March 27, 2023 Posted by | Adventure, Character, Civility, Community, Cooking, Cultural, Customer Service, Eating Out, Food, Pensacola, Restaurant | Leave a comment

Adieu, Émile

As we stood outside in the back of the house, looking at the little courtyard and the terraces, my daughter-in-law said “We call this the cat crossing. We don’t know where they all come from, but there are always cats crossing.”

Soon we had one who came regularly, a cat like we have never had before. He was young and scrawny (we’ve had young, scrawny cats before) and his left eye was opaque. He showed up faithfully around the time we fed our indoor cats, looking for a meal, thus Émile. We bought separate bowls, and kept him – and his comrades – fed. Even when we travel, our housekeeper/ cat sitter would make sure he never went hungry.

The only way we knew he might like us was that when he heard our voices, he would come hang out. We were never able to get closer than 3 feet away from him, and even 3 feet made him goosey. We would thrill when he would spend a day or two up in his niche, a safe little place surrounded on all sides. Late in the day, he would wander away until meal time the next morning.

Emile with a fresh white squirrel

He was, like most cats, a ferocious hunter, and was proud to show off his latest squirrel or bird; what cat doesn’t love a fresh hot meal?

But one day, about two months ago, he started looking a little peaky. The last time I saw him, he was having trouble with a back leg. He disappeared.

Cats do that – outdoor cats. When they are unwell, they go somewhere. Sometimes they get better. We’ve had cats come back before, but I don’t think Emile will be back. The other cats have disappeared, too. There may be some kind of a cat virus going around, or, God forbid, someone may be poisoning them.

We would have liked to provide for Emile, to take him to a vet, get him immunized, get him checked out. We would have liked to give him affection. We would have liked for him to trust us.

And a part of me, thinking like a feral cat, imagines that none of that was of any interest to Emile. He seemed happy with the life he had, free, with a free-range menu supplemented by these strange two-legged beings who put out offerings for him on a regular basis. We sort of knew that this would be the way it ended, that he would ghost us in the end.

Being pragmatic, knowing the probability of this particular kind of ending, doesn’t make it any better. We’re still sad he is gone, and thankful for the time we had him in our lives.

July 24, 2022 Posted by | Circle of Life and Death, Pensacola, Quality of Life Issues, Relationships, Wildlife | Leave a comment

Back in Kuwait

No, No don’t get excited. It’s a metaphor.

When I lived in Kuwait, I would tell my friends it was a lot like living in Alaska, and I loved the look on their faces. Then I would explain – in Alaska, people wait eagerly for good weather, and when it comes, they can’t get enough of it. We are outdoor people.

For much of the year, Alaskans are trapped inside, and have to be good at finding things to do to keep themselves from going crazy.

In Pensacola, as it was in Kuwait, the temperatures are very hot. Kuwait was mostly very dry, and had sandstorms, unlike Pensacola, but shared having a long coastline, and heat with humidity in the summers.

So now, as in Kuwait, I am up early, to get to the pool and swim my laps, so lovely and cool. If I need to grocery shop, I try to shop on the way home, so as not to have to venture out again as the day heats up. I get home, and tend to the Little Free Library while it is still in the shade. Most of the rest of the day I spend inside, except for picking up grandchildren at their camps.

It is a great time to do some quilting. I am just about to start when Ragnar, my helper, comes in to join me. (Also, AdventureMan is outside weed-eating and edging, which is of endless amusement and torment to Ragnar, who forgets he was once a feral, outdoor cat, and was lucky to survive.)

I do a couple more things to set up, hoping Ragnar will take the hint and move off to find something more interesting. He doesn’t. In the end, I have to lift him (lovingly) and place him in another room on a blanket we call Blue Mama, because Ragnar particularly loves sleeping on this blanket.

He doesn’t come back, and I spend the morning “back in Kuwait,” enjoying my confinement by working with fabrics and colors I love, patterns I would never wear but enjoy the challenge of working them into quilts.

June 16, 2022 Posted by | Arts & Handicrafts, Biography, Cultural, ExPat Life, Florida, Pensacola, Quality of Life Issues, Weather, Work Related Issues | Leave a comment

Out of Control

It gets worse. The flooring people, after one week, still have not arrived. They are in communication with us, and their crew is on another job where they found some problems that need to be fixed before they can complete the work on that job. It is taking time.

Honestly, sometimes all you can do is laugh. We had to move to the Airbnb because with all our bedrooms being re-floored, we have no place to sleep in the house; our beds are all broken down to store in the family room. Our cats are confined to the living room, which, fortunately, they like well enough, as well as cats like changes of any kind, as you who have cats will know.

We are reasonable people. We know that if it were us whose floors were problematic, we would want the company to fix the problem and finish the job, even if it meant taking longer than planned.

As people who are spending time and money to stay in an Airbnb while NOTHING is getting done, it is frustrating and chaotic, and expensive. We were so careful putting things where we could find them, except we can’t always remember those special places where we put the things.

And, of course, the unexpected struck. A funeral, for a good friend and mentor, at which I will be a reader, and for which any appropriate dress is hidden in the far back of my living room, behind bookcases and mattresses and stacked furniture.

After scrambling through different channels, trying to get to my “dressy clothes I won’t need rack” in the way-back, I discovered that I could make do with something on my accessible rack in the living room.

One last little whine. The temperatures have suddenly risen; the temperatures are tropical and laden with moisture. It is hot. It is humid. Our comfortably cool weather has disappeared, reappeared, and then disappeared again as a cold front moves back and forth over Pensacola, shifting our temperatures from cool and dry to hot and humid.

There is a bright silver lining to this cloud of December mishaps – As part of my job in the church, I co-ordinate with a delightful young woman who did the same exact thing, cleared out four bedrooms to have wooden floors put in, but she and her husband did it with children! They ran into the same problem, staying in an Airbnb, the job was delayed, and they ended up staying in a total of three Airbnb’s because the ones they had booked were booked again and there was no room for extensions due to the flooring company mishaps.

“It’s a drag,” she told me, “but you will be so happy with those beautiful floors.”

She is right. She made me laugh. She was exactly the right person in the right place to help me put perspective on all this and to laugh. Her situation was so much worse, and she survived.

The cats have adjusted well to their lives confined to one room in the house. The beta male, Uhtred, who has not realized that he is now bigger (and smarter) than the alpha male, Ragnar, has found a safe place where Ragnar can’t get him and has also figured out how to open the folding door, even with its slider to prevent being opened. He is smart, and persistent, and loves to open doors. so far, we have him contained.

The right dress will show up for the funeral. It’s not about me, anyway. There is a pin I need to wear, and I know exactly where it is, in a box at the bottom of a heap of boxes I can’t access. The hamster brain keeps running on its hamster wheel, and I have to take a breath and realize that most of what I worry about will resolve itself without my getting wrapped up in anxiety.

Limbo is never a fun place to be. We want this to be over, we want to put all our furniture back, to sleep in our own house, to have our things put away in logical places where we can find them when we need them. We trust this company and want to work with them; we believe they are doing the best that they can in troubled times. We are in a good place; no immediate vacation plans, no children, not a lot on our schedule, and our Airbnb has been very gracious about extensions. I’ve given up thinking I’ll be able to have this all done, everything put away, for Christmas.

We are not comfortable being out of control. We are experiencing the discomfort of rolling with the unknown. On some level, I believe it to be a reminder that mostly control is an illusion, and that we are often oblivious to the tumult and chaos all around us, disruption can blindside us at any time. I know there is a lesson in humility involved, and I suspect another lesson in letting go and going with the flow. Like Uhtred, I persist in trying to free myself, I keep pulling at that door.

December 10, 2021 Posted by | Advent, Adventure, Aging, Family Issues, Financial Issues, Home Improvements, Hotels, Living Conditions, Moving, Pensacola, Quality of Life Issues, Renovations | Leave a comment

Moonlight Over the Bayou Texar

October 23, 2021 Posted by | Beauty, Florida, Living Conditions, Pensacola, Photos, Quality of Life Issues | Leave a comment

Friday Night Special: Mushroom Soup Forestiere

Mushroom Soup

Who knew, this late in life, that AdventureMan would develop this new talent? This week he had a bug in his brain; he had loved making the steak with mushroom sauce last Saturday night and now he wanted to make a very French/German version of mushroom soup, sort of a Forestiere, so he researched recipes, watched a few YouTube videos and created a brandy-laced soup that totally knocked my socks off.

At Fresh Market, his favorite market in Pensacola, he found the special mushrooms, and a crusty loaf of French bread, a mild goat cheese and a Country Pate by Les Trois Petits Couchons, established 1975 in Brooklyn, N.Y.

He was so busy all those years managing, commanding, strategizing, traveling, and I did all the cooking. I did fine – I have a few good recipes, and we moved so often that I could just use them again at the next post. Most of what I did was survival cooking, i.e. I had an obligation to get a meal on the table three times a day, and it had to be something my husband and son would eat. I did fine, but it wasn’t exquisite, and there was only dessert when we were having guests.

AdventureMan takes cooking to a whole ‘nother level. He loves taking his time, scouting out the special ingredients, even growing the herbs to garnish the platters. For him, this is a lot of fun. For me, I think I’ve died and gone to heaven.

October 1, 2021 Posted by | Aging, Cooking, Cultural, Family Issues, Food, Pensacola, Quality of Life Issues | 1 Comment

Leaving Bozeman, Day 14

AdventureMan hates my phone alarm, which is a tune called “Twinkle.” He always says it reminds him of hotel mornings when we have to get up at what he calls “The Cr#p of Dawn.” This was one of those mornings, we need to be up, get to the airport, turn in the car, check in two hours in advance, etc. 

Don’t you love this Mama Bear’s big claws?

It all goes smoothly. We drop our keys in the drop box, still a little nervous that we never received a contract for the upgraded vehicle. By the time we reached Dallas, I had a confirmation of the car rental return and a copy of the contract. Go figure.

The airline people were not at the airport two hours before the flight. Oh well. We checked in and had time for breakfast at the Copper Horse before boarding for our flight. In Dallas, we found a BBQ take-out and ate in the waiting room. 

We arrived safely back in Pensacola, on time, and there were zero taxis and about six sets of people in front of us. We never do this, but we called our son and asked if he would pick us up. He arrived, fully masked, welcomed us back, and drove us home. That night, he texted that he and our grandson both tested positive for COVID and the family would be quarantined, They live just blocks from us, so we were able to see them, to bring groceries or whatever they might need. They were tired and achey, but never got very very sick. 

I just took a break; AdventureMan asked me how the trip report was coming and I said I was finishing up and I was astonished at how much COVID had been an influence on this trip. From the start, when Viking cancelled our planned cruise in May, to the end, with hotels and restaurants struggling to find staffing, COVID had played a major role. We need to be paying attention. Things are changing. We are going to need to do things differently. We need to start figuring out those strategies now.

September 16, 2021 Posted by | Adventure, Climate Change, Counter-terrorism, Cross Cultural, Customer Service, Eating Out, Interconnected, Living Conditions, Pensacola, Public Art, Quality of Life Issues, Road Trips, Safety, Travel, Wildlife | , | Leave a comment

Discovering My Neighborhood

We have a renovation coming up which will require that we relocate for ten days to two weeks while the workers are completing a project we have long awaited. It’s not that easy these days to schedule projects; we ordered our new windows in March and they were installed in July! It’s a supply chain issue, a demand issue and a finding people to do the job issue. We are so happy; the company we wanted made the best proposal, we accepted immediately and scheduled. Our timeframe is months out, but we are on the schedule and we can live with that.

Hoping to find someplace nearby where we could stay, my first choice was the beach. On VRBO, where I found an amazing mansion on Napoleon Street in New Orleans, steps away from Magazine street, I found the perfect place at Portofino, at really great price. When I showed it to AdventureMan, he looked sad. He said of course, if I really wanted to do that, we could but it also meant battling two bridges twice a day to come back home to feed and take care of the cats. Oh. Yeh.

Floor plan for Portofino Condo
View from Master BR

Can you see why this would grab my heart? I could see myself sitting on the balcony, sipping my coffee, maybe even watching the Blue Angels fly by on a Tuesday morning practice. Ahhhhhh . . . . . And did I mention, the price was right?

So I started researching places near us where cat-care would be easy, and, sigh, yes, AdventurMan you were right, we can keep an eye on the work going on, too.

I was astonished at the quantity and quality of short-term rentals available in our neighborhood. Smart young people are buying up properties, even very small properties, fixing them up and maintaining them as Airbnb or VRBO rentals.

The first two I looked at were little cabins on the Bayou – darling places, but for the length of time we needed, maybe a little too small. The first one advertises on VRBO at $54/night.

This next one is also VRBO, on the Bayou, and starting at $67 per night:

I’m a sucker for a photo like this

These both look immaculate, and so new you can almost smell the fresh paint.

Then I started looking at airbnb. My daughter-in-law has had great luck with them, and they seem to have more variety in our neighborhood.

This house has beautiful spaces at $159/night.

This house has a beautiful location and lots of space at $210/night.

This rental was only $93/night, and allowed pets, but not on the furniture.

This one has a lovely location at $125/night.

Privacy. Convenience. Space. These are great options for people like us who just need a temporary place, and also for travelers seeking less of a tourist experience and more of a real life neighborhood experience.

August 15, 2021 Posted by | Community, Cultural, Family Issues, Hotels, Living Conditions, Pensacola, Quality of Life Issues, Travel | Leave a comment

“Keep it Superficial!”

AdventureMan grinned as he said it. He had just asked how we were doing, to which I replied “Fine!” We are both focused on projects that need doing but are neither stimulating nor particularly gratifying.

Have you ever noticed how long you can think about something, and then when you do it, it takes mere minutes, and you realize you’ve invested a lot of thought when you could have just done it and then not given it another thought?

When we bought this house, my thoughtful daughter-in-law left me paint cans for some of the rooms. In one bath, there was a line at the bottom of a wall that needed re-painting. It was such a tiny line, but it caught my eye every time I saw it and I resolved to fix it. And then I didn’t fix it.

So this morning, I found the right tiny paint brush, found the right piece of cardboard to shield where I don’t want the paint to go, gathered a little newspaper and moved some paint from the larger can to a smaller bottle. That took about as much time – maybe five minutes – as it took to also paint in the area that bothered me, and paint over places where time has bruised or nicked the paint, since I was working with that paint anyway. Total time – maybe ten minutes, maybe fifteen. A drop in the bucket, given all the times I had thought of doing it and didn’t do it.

There are things I just don’t really want to do, and it is so easy not to do them. AdventureMan is changing the cat litter; who ever WANTS to change cat litter? The joke in our house is that when I got pregnant, many years ago, I showed AdventureMan an article about some terrible thing that can happen if pregnant women handle cat litter, and it was around thirty years later when he asked me when I thought I might be able to scoop litter again.

While I am all about equality, there are some times when dividing up the labor makes sense to both of us. And then, there are tasks that you just do because they need doing. When he asks how I am doing, he doesn’t need to really know how I feel about painting a small line, and I don’t need to know his thoughts about the cat litter. it’s shorthand for “I love you; I care about you.” A “fine” will do.

June 10, 2021 Posted by | Aging, Character, Civility, Family Issues, Living Conditions, Pensacola, Quality of Life Issues, Relationships, Work Related Issues | Leave a comment