Jeannette Walls: The Glass Castle
The Glass Castle was a hugely popular best seller in the USA, and it must have been while I was gone. A part of me remembers reading a little bit about it and deciding it wasn’t my kind of book, but after reading Half Broke Horses, I had forgotten what the subject matter was and was excited to have another Jeannette Walls book I could read.
Big mistake. This book is nothing like Half Broke Horses.
Or maybe it is. Maybe what I loved about Half Broke Horses was the voice of an amazing woman, and maybe what kept me reading The Glass Castle is the voice of an amazing child who tells a heart breaking story. Or maybe it isn’t so heartbreaking, because the children survive. They are scarred and damaged, but never so damaged or loony or self-deceived as their parents.
I don’t like reading books about kids whose parents don’t take good care of them. Oprah chose a lot of those books in her book club. These books depress me. I cannot imagine how parents can be so self-absorbed, how they can take on the responsibilities of children and then not put those children first. How can they?
The Glass Castle stars the daughter of Lily Casey Smith, who is the mother of Jeannette Walls, and her husband, who is Jeannette’s father. The book opens with little three year old Jeannette proudly cooking up a hot dog. Her mother is busy painting and has told her to find something to eat. Her nightgown catches fire, and she is terribly burned. She spends a long time in the hospital, which ends with her father taking her out in a hurry, bundling her into the car, already loaded with her family, and “doing the skedaddle” which is leaving town just in front of the bill collectors.
This is her life. From time to time, their alcoholic Dad will take a job and bring home some of the paycheck (he drinks and gambles most of it) and when he won’t work, on rare occasion, their mother will take a teaching job, but the kids have to get her out of bed in the morning, have to grade her papers and make her lesson plans. Often there is not enough for the family to eat. They don’t stay in one place; they ‘skedaddle’ before they are evicted for non-payment of rent. They eat cold food – when they eat – because the parents didn’t pay the electric bill.
The Dad is smart, charming and cajoling, and when he is sober, the kids learn amazing things from him, and educated engineer. Unfortunately, he is not often sober. He chases after alcohol and he chases after women; the people in the towns where they live know it and the children learn to know it, too, to their constant humiliation. When he wheedles money off his kids, and promises to repay, he asks “Have I ever let you down?” The answer is so stunningly obvious as to be heartbreaking – Yes. Yes, again and again and again.
The Mother is equally irresponsible. One time, when the family is starving, she is in bed and occasionally goes under the covers, where Jeannette discovers her mother has a chocolate bar hidden that she can eat – while her children go hungry.
The author’s voice is never self pitying, she just lays it all out and leaves us to draw our own conclusions. Each child escapes the family as soon as possible; the children plan and save their money to get out, first sending off the oldest sister, then Jeannette, then the son. They all head for New York, where they find work and support themselves. Like bad pennies, Mom and Dad show up in New York, cadge meals and money and join the ranks of the homeless in New York, going from food pantry to soup kitchen, and diving dumpsters for their worldly needs.
This is not a feel good novel. The good part about it is that children can survive this kind of criminal neglect, and become a successful author as Jeannette Walls has done. I am so glad I read Half Broke Horses first, because her grandmother is such an admirable character, whereas her parents are scum and I just felt so angry when I read the matter-of-fact descriptions of their behavior that I was glad they were not where I could get my hands on them.
I don’t know any parents as bad as Rose Mary and Rex Walls, but I know I believe this – if you choose to marry, and if you choose to have children, know that children require time, and love, and energy, and patience. Know that if you have grand ambitions, or an addiction, or a character flaw, you won’t be able to provide for your children’s physical, emotional and spiritual needs, unless you are willing to sacrifice your own needs and wants. While the children in the book loved their parents, they recognized that their parents were sadly lacking in the parenting roles. The way these children were neglected will make me remember this book for a long time.
Would I recommend it? Yes. It is a gripping book, at times even horrifyingly humorous, as when Jeannette figures out how to find lunch food in the garbage cans when all the other kids have finished eating. It is not a feel-good book. It is a horrifying indictment of self-absorbed, neglectful parents, parents you will love to hate.
If I sound a little overwrought, it’s because I worked with the homeless. We were able to help many, but I also ran into families like this family, families who would prefer not taking any help if it meant they had to play by the rules, you know, rules like “you have to take care of your children.” We had all kinds of classes and forums and mentors to help with learning skills, like feeding children well on a small budget, learning to discipline, simple skills, survival skills.
The problem is that these skills require self-discipline, and many of the parents would rather not take help than have to exercise self-discipline. I saw women who would sacrifice their children for their current boyfriend, a woman who was severely angry with her daughter for reporting a family member had molested her, a man who didn’t want to take a job that would ‘tie him down’ when his family was starving. I saw this, with my own eyes, and there is no way you can MAKE people take good care of their children. You have to ask if the children are better off with these parents, or ‘in the system.’ Not a pretty choice.
This book, too, is on Amazon.com. Reading it is like watching a disaster on CNN. You don’t want to believe it is happening and you can’t look away.
Atlanta: Ethiopian Adventure and Macy’s
One last entry from our recent trip, a happy ending to a happy trip. This is how sweet my husband is to me.
We find Pensacola a very comfortable place to be, and have only found two things lacking. There is no Macy’s, and I do like Macy’s. There are no Ethiopian restaurants, (remember, I just read Cutting for Stone) and we like Ethiopian food. We know Atlanta has both, so we plotted our return trip with a just-enough-time-for-Ethiopian-food-and-shopping.
Isn’t life funny and wonderful? We know Atlanta has Ethiopian restaurants – several – because an almost-niece who has worked in Ethiopia lives in Atlanta, and could recommend several. Using the handy iPhone, we found a Marriott Residence Inn hidden away in a quiet neighborhood near Macy’s and not far from the Queen of Sheba. Although the hotel was full, they had a wonderful room for us, with a view of downtown Atlanta:
We found the phone number for the Queen of Sheba, called – and they were open for lunch!
When we got to the plaza where the Queen of Sheba was located, we just laughed. We were back in Kuwait!
And here is what the Queen of Sheba looks like from the outside:
Inside, daytime, the atmosphere is serene:
Nights and weekends, they have jazz and lively evenings:
We ordered the Vegetarian mix, a variety of Ethiopian vegetable/legume based dishes, a variety of tastes and heat, served on Injera, the large, pancake-like bread. When it came, it was beautiful, and it tasted as good as it looked. They gave us a tray of extra injera, and we ate almost all of it!
It was so good. SO good. We decided we would go back for dinner, after shopping. AdventureMan took me to Macy’s, and only called me twice in the hours I was looking and trying on.
Here’s the problem. I have a style, but I am terrified someone is going to recommend me for What Not to Wear, so I try to find a couple little things now and then to update my look. I have a tactic: take armsfull of clothes into the dressing room. Try on quickly. You usually can tell immediately.
Here is what you hear. “No.” “Oh, NO!” “No” “No” “No” “Hmmm, maybe” “no” “Holy Smokes, NO!” “Hmmm, maybe” etc. Then I try on the maybes, and out of twenty or thirty items, I might come out with one or two. Some young styles are just too young, some skirts just too short, some camis just too revealing. I don’t want to be one of those pathetic older women trying to be hot, I just want to look decently attractive, that’s the goal.
Meeting up hours later with AdventureMan (I know, I know, I owe him big time for this) we laugh to discover we are neither of us hungry for dinner. We decide to go back to the hotel, but dinner time comes and we are still so full from lunch that we can’t consider dinner. Even though the dishes were vegetarian, that injera must have swelled in our bellies. We can’t eat another bite!
Walking in Saxonburg, Pennsylvania
You know we love to walk, and Saxonburg has a great Main Street, perfect for walking. I don’t know what other seasons are like here, but oh! The flowers of spring! I was in heaven:
I loved the cobbled sidewalks, and the churches, and the houses:
Even better with a dog 🙂
Restaurant Hotel Saxonburg, Saxonburg, Pennsylvania
How lucky can you get? Just next door to the Mainstay in Saxonburg is the Hote Saxonburg, which has a restaurant, and that restaurant has a menu full of good choices. We ate lunch there, two days in a row. We thought the food was super good, but it may also have to do with eating meals with good friends; everything just tastes good when you are laughing and having fun.
Inside, the owner told us when renovating, they found these old beams, and the original straw and wattle construction, and they decided to leave it – it really adds to the interior atmoshpere:
The food was really good, and the restaurant staff was very accomodating about our picky style of ordering. They had two sandwiches, a Reuben, made with corned beef and sauerkraut, and a Rachel, made with turkey breast and cold slaw. I asked if I could have the Reuben, but made with turkey breast, and they did it as if it were no inconvenience at all. I love it when a restaurant treats my requests with respect, instead of huffing and puffing about how no, it isn’t possible.
Before we started, we ordered cups of the Lobster Bisque, which I am sad to say was so delicious that we ate it all up before even thinking about taking a photo.
My Reuben/Rachel:
What you can’t see much of on our plates is the green beans with pecans; you can’t see them because they disappeared so fast. As good as our meals were, those green beans with pecans were divine.
The Ahi Nicoise Salad (YUM!):
The Pork Barbecue (AdventureMan)
A shrimp and fish dish:
One big guy among us ordered both the spinach salad and the sausage sandwich, and ate every bite, they were both so delicious:
The food was so good, we could only drink coffee afterwards, no room for dessert!
Richard’s BBQ in Birmingham, Alabama
The iPhone was made for road trips. We used to kid each other “if we had an iPhone right now, we could look up . . . ” and now we have one and we do!
It got us flawlessly to the Marriott Residence Inns we favor, even those hidden away, miles from the interstates.
We also found we could enter “BBQ restaurant off I-459 Birmingham” and Boom! There it would be! We found Richard’s that way, and it was our favorite kind of place, not a chain, and full of people who live and work in the area.
This is what it looks like inside, and although there is a train that runs around the top of the restaurant, it is not a noisy train, and after a while, you don’t even notice it.
The food was excellent. I had the barbecued Grouper – and my first ever fried green tomatoes. I discovered I love fried green tomatoes.
AdventureMan had ‘vegetables.’ For strict vegetarians, warning: ‘vegetables’ in The South often contain shreds of meat, and meat fat, usually pork:
We resisted the desserts, but barely . . .
Gotta love those iPhones!
Here are some excerpts from the menu:
Prices were great, service was excellent. When I first ordered, I was told that they were already out of fried green tomatoes, so I ordered the grilled asparagus, and got another sorry, they were out of that, too. I ordered something else – I don’t know what – and when the food came – I had fried green tomatoes! It’s a miracle!
The Mainstay in Saxonburg (Pennsylvania) B&B
Part of the sheer exhilaration of our recent trip was the three day stay at The Mainstay, In Saxonburg. It didn’t hurt that all the rooms were taken for the same wedding party, and that we all got along so well. Three of the four couples were friends who had gotten to know one another when we all lived in Doha, Qatar, together, and the fourth couple had visited in Doha, so we all had that in common, as well as our friendship with the wedding family.
We got there early, and thought we would just find out what time we could check-in, but the house manager, James Stanek, welcomed us right in. We has reserved the Safari room, mostly because I really wanted AdventureMan to be happy about being on this trip, and the room was really a lot of fun.
Even the bathroom had lions and giraffe, carried out the Safari theme. The rooms were immaculately clean, always a good thing, and the beds were comfy with really good sheets. We all slept great.
The best part about the Mainstay was that it was a very welcoming B&B. While it is elegantly and tastefully decorated, you don’t get the feeling “don’t touch!” “don’t sit here!”, quite the opposite. We often gathered in the library; watched the news, all us nerdy geeks and our computers keeping up with the world first thing in the morning, coffee cups in hand. One day it rained, and the library was a great place to just hang out while we figured out how to spend the day. AdventureMan spent some time reading in the gathering room, close enough to join in if there was a lively conversation; far enough away to be able to read without breaking concentration.
For me, one of the best parts, too, was the house dog, Buddy. I’m an early riser, and I like to get my exercise early in the day so I can slack off the rest of the day. (Actually, exercise tends to help me not slack off; it gives me more energy.) Buddy was always polite, never pushy, but when he heard the word “walk” he was right there for me, eager to keep me company. There is just something wonderful about having an eager dog to walk, as he checks out all the fascinating smells in the neighborhood.
The Mainstay in Saxonburg is a short drive north of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and minutes away from Armstrong Farms, a party site for weddings, family reunions and gatherings of all kinds.
Mileage Makes Me Smile
We just got back from our road trip. This time we took my little Rav4 since I barely put 5,000 miles on it this last year. We put 2255 miles on it, and (Ta DA!) we got an amazing 28.814945436888241 miles per gallon during the trip, even counting all the in-town travel we did in Pittsburgh (yes, photos and write-up to follow, first we have to get unpacked and I have to get some laundry started.)
Back a long long time ago, when I was in 6th grade, my parents took us out of school for a road trip, and my teacher gave me several assignments I had to do while I was gone those two weeks. One assignment was to keep track of the mileage, the gas consumption, and to figure the miles per gallon. (I also had to keep a daily journal, and to see how many different state license plates I could find while we travelled.) I’m such a geek, keeping track of gas mileage has fascinated me ever since. Cars do so many things better than they every used to. Nearly 29 mpg makes me smile.
Travel over the Memorial Day weekend also made us smile. We expected horrendous traffic and found calm, rational driving everywhere we went, even through the larger cities. . . it was heaven.
I love road trips. I get time with my husband, I have him all to myself and as we drive along every now and then he will start talking and – after all these years – I will learn something new about my husband. Someone makes the bed I sleep in and irons the sheets. Someone fixes my meals, and I get to eat what I want. I get to see new things and take a few photos. This trip we got to spend time with a very special group of friends we grew close to in Doha . . . What’s not to love?
Kentucky, Virginia, West Virginia and WOW
“Isn’t it funny,” I said, “here we are in West Virginia, and I haven’t seen an ounce of coal. Like here are all these mountains, there must be coal, West Virginia is famous for coal mines . . . ”
And just then we saw the first of the coal processing places to our right, huge, and it was just the first. AdventureMan laughed, it happened just as I was saying we had not seen any. I just finished reading The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls, part of which takes place in Welch, West Virginia, but it was off our route, and I didn’t get to see it. I looked for run down shacks, and saw a few, but found West Virginia green, and beautiful and actually very prosperous looking.
All in all it was a really great day of driving. I got the first shift, and drove until lunch, when AM took over until time to stop. The WOW was that I discovered I can put in a destination and ask for directions on my iPhone, and the iPhone shows where we are as a pulsing blue dot, and draws a line to where we are going. The hotel we wanted was not in view from the highway, and we never would have found it otherwise. It was so totally cool; I could tell AdventueMan which street to turn on and which direction.
It’s quirky. There was actually another way, a way that did not take us through the University of West Virginia (!) and past the hospital entrance and through the parking lot (!) but it got us there, relatively directly, and it was a total hoot getting there.
I love this capability. I love my iPhone. We used to joke about how I needed one for our road trips, but oh, I never knew how much. I am having so much fun. I can just ask “hotel in Morgantown, WV” and it gives me so many options! I ask for BBQ restaurants and it gives me the nearest ones; it knows where I am! I love this capability!
There was another bad storm yesterday, in Oklahoma, with a lot of damage and people missing. Doesn’t it seem like there have been more damaging storms this year than most? I hope this does not foreshadow an active hurricane season.
Storm Damage
We’ve taken a brief trip to be with friends for a wedding and reunion, and en route, passed through the areas of Georgia and Tennessee where there was so much storm damage.
The damage was shocking. Entire areas just flattened, with people’s lives, their accumulations, scattered to the winds. It looked like a tsunami hit.
There was one room at the inn, and it wasn’t cheap.
“Why are all the hotels so full?” I asked. “They’re never this full!”
“We’re full with families whose homes were destroyed,” the clerk explained quietly. “They’re trying to figure out what to do, what the insurance will cover, what it won’t.”
Oh. Oh. Oh. We saw this in Pensacola, too, after the stunning Hurricane Ivan. Hotels were full of people trying to get back into their houses, and also full of builders and roofers and carpenters and finishers, there to try to help people put their lives back together.
It puts things back into perspective, quickly, when you are surrounded by those whose lives changed in a heartbeat, and who are trying to figure out where to go from here. We’re just glad to have a room. And a home.
Summer Road Trip Tips
As road trippers, this article caught my attention. It’s all good advice. I particularly like the last one; recently a friend told us he didn’t know about the toll to get to Destin, and we looked at him in utter astonishment – a toll? Then it dawned on us, he always uses his GPS, which took him over the Garcon Point Bridge – always an expensive option. GPS, even smart phones, won’t show you all the possibilities unless you ask. Check your route with Google Maps or Map Quest before you go, look for local attractions, scenic roads, things that will appeal to you. The Mammoth Museum in Rapid City, SD totally made our day on our most recent long road trip.
20 tips for surviving a summer road trip, courtesy of touring musicians
by Elizabeth Seward from AOL News/Gadling
Road trips are made for summer. Summer is made for road trips. I’m a musician with several tours under my belt so, yeah, you guessed it, I love road trips and summer. But braving the heat while living in an automobile isn’t very cool if you aren’t prepared. Before you pack your vehicle so tight you can’t open the backseat doors without spilling pillows and sun block all over the scorching rest stop parking lot, make sure you have your summer road trip bases covered.
Summer’s biggest pitfalls aren’t mysterious. Mostly there’s the heat and the sun, which can be two separate problems to combat. Precisely how to conquer the road while dodging the wrath of summer is a practice best perfected by experience, so here are some tips birthed from experience, not in any intentional order.
1. Plan your route wisely.
Where you’re going matters. As you might suspect, planning a summer road trip that will take you through the South is dangerous territory. With that said, I’ve done it, plenty of people have, but be mindful of the regional summer climate when planning your summer trip. Give yourself more time for rest than you think you need. The heat has a way of corroding away a traveler’s soul. If you think you can manage full-day drives during the summer, that’s fine, but make sure your schedule is flexible.
2. Prepare your vehicle.
It’s absolutely essential that you make sure your vehicle is adequately prepared for a summer road trip before embarking on one. If your air conditioner is broken, get it fixed. If the car’s interior material is the kind that easily gets sticky and hot, bring thin sheets to cover the seats with. And oh yeah, those windshield sun blockers? Definitely a bright idea. Aol Autos has a good round-up detailing how to prepare your car for a summer road trip here.
3. Pack the right stuff.
What you pack will prove to be important during a summer road trip. During any road trip, no matter the season, what you bring along with you more or less accounts for your home for the trip. When road tripping, your vehicle is your home. Remember that. Aside from the regular to-bring items (first aid kit, anyone?) a few essentials to remember when packing for a summer trip are:
Sun block
Sun hat
Bug repellent
A cooler
Swim suit
Beach Towel
Sun glasses
Light clothing
Aloe
Water bottle
Umbrella
But the real question to ask yourself is: what helps you feel comfortable in the summer? If having an on-the-go folding beach chair around has been handy for you in the past, go ahead and slide it into your trunk if there’s space.
Dean Herrera, guitarist for metal band, The Human Abstract, is especially behind including a swim suit on the pack list.
“Always have some swim suit ready to go. You never know when you might drive by an unexpected river or lake that would be perfect for a quick dip”, said Herrera when I asked him for his own summer road trip tips.
4. Avoid afternoon driving.
Tolerating the heat, especially in the South, can be a challenge. Avoid driving in the height of the afternoon if you have a chance. People siesta for a reason in warm places! You should take this tip via tradition to heart. Drive at night, dawn, or dusk for the most pleasant temperature and traffic-free experience. Not only will you be more comfortable, but you’ll probably save a little on gas money while you’re at it (it takes less gas to cool your car when the outside temperature drops).
5. Stay clean.
It’s easy to become a stinky sweaty mess when traveling during the summer. Deodorant is important, but it won’t ward off all of the nasty scents of summer road tripping. I used to always have my shampoo, conditioner, and a jug of water around so I could quickly wash my hair in a parking lot if necessary. But public showers do exist.
“Truck stop showers are typically very clean”, says Anthony Shustak. “Don’t be afraid to use them if you need… just be sure you’ve got some sandals”. Anthony Shustak is a touring veteran who has traveled with acts like Meg and Dia and LIGHTS as an engineer, tour manager, and general-good-guy-to-have-around.
6. Protect your engine.
“If your van or car is on its way to overheating and you don’t want to or can’t, stop, blast the heater and open the windows. It helps keep your engine slightly cooler”, says Herrera who, at this point, has probably circled around the United States in a van enough times to equally circle to world a few times.
7. Stay rested.
“Sleep!”, says Shustak. “Coffee only does so much. So, before you get to the point on that 14 hour drive when you’re on your fourth cup of coffee in six hours and your arms are shaking, pull the car over and take a nap! Even if it’s just half an hour”.
8. Tune in and tune out.
Shustak has some advice on which electronics matter. “Have a fully stocked mp3 player, a camera at the ready, and turn your phone off for a day or two–or at least limit yourself to one or two “message checks” per day. Your e-mails will miraculously still be there when you wake up the next day”, he suggests.
9. Embrace the road less taken.
“Make sure to go off the beaten path”, advises Shustak. “Don’t be scared of the locals. Ask questions… especially when it comes to finding out the best places to eat.
10. Get some alone time.
You’re much more likely to want to strangle your travel companion, be it your spouse, colleague, or Craigslist rideshare partner, while crammed up together in a hot car for hours upon hours each day. Make sure to take breaks from your road buddy as frequently as possible, even if just for 15 minutes.
11. Know your territory.
And know what comes with that territory. Read up and know the dangers of the area at hand. If the bear population is high, for instance, be sure to be mindful of where you place your food and trash while parked.
12. Stay hydrated.
Keep yourself hydrated with cold beverages while driving. Think about it this way: every cool drink you down is another step up and toward a cooler temperature–particularly important if your car has an irreparable broken air conditioner (which is incredibly inconvenient if you live in Austin, FIRST HAND KNOWLEDGE).
13. Use an umbrella.
Protect yourself from the sun’s rays, especially mid-day. If you hate lathering on sun block and don’t see the point in covering your body with it when you’ll be in the car most of the day, just use your umbrella when you stop for a walk to stretch your legs. It’s much easier than worrying about the lotion.
14. Pack light.
Shustak’s packing tip is all about how much you pack.
“Mainly, for me, it comes down to packing lightly and efficiently. If you are on a trip longer than a month in duration, pack for 10-14 days and use your opportunities to do laundry during any downtime”, says Shustak, who undoubtedly knows the value of staying with a washer/dryer-owning friend on the road.
15. Eat healthy.
An easy way to make sure you feel like crap while traveling is to eat crap. I realize old habits die hard, but some fresh fruits and vegetables just might be your answer to staying happy and healthy on the road.
16. Entertain yourself.
Cruising across states is fun and the landscape views are great. But you’ll eventually get sick of looking out of the window and when you do, you’ll need a way to entertain yourself. Be sure there’s no shortage on entertainment options. Books, notebooks, sketchbooks, jewelry-making supplies, knitting tools, dvds for your computer, video games, iPod and headphones… you know what you like, so pack accordingly.
17. Bring camping supplies.
Sometimes you need to stop in towns where you don’t have any friends you can stay with and your money needs to go toward gas, not hotels. It’s no big deal, just camp! If you can squeeze at least a tent and a sleeping bag in your vehicle, do it. Having the ability to sleep comfortably anywhere when you need to stop will enhance your overall road trip experience this summer.
18. Have your contacts saved.
Phones get stolen, broken, and lost. Make sure you have a list of your contacts, especially your emergency contacts, saved elsewhere. I suggest online, on your computer, and in a notebook.
19. Keep someone in the loop.
I was a little annoyed summer of 2007 when the folks who care about me back home called Wyoming hospitals to see if I’d been in an accident after not hearing from me for days. Truth be told, I was just camping in Yellowstone without phone reception and I should have kept someone in the loop. But at least these folks, my parents, were in the loop enough to know which area of the country I was in. Make sure you’re keeping someone you trust up to date on where you are and where you plan on going.
20. Bring an actual atlas.
“Have an up-to-date road atlas”, says Shustak. “Surprise, surprise… the GPS and/or Google Maps are not always accurate”.
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