Here There and Everywhere

Expat wanderer

Saudi Men Arrested for Flirting

This is in today’s BBC News.

Saudi men arrested for ‘flirting’

Relations between the sexes outside marriage is against the law

Prosecutors in Saudi Arabia have begun investigating 57 young men who were arrested on Thursday for flirting with girls at shopping centres in Mecca.

The men are accused of wearing indecent clothes, playing loud music and dancing in order to attract the attention of girls, the Saudi Gazette reported.

They were arrested following a request of the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice.

The mutaween enforce Saudi Arabia’s conservative brand of Islam, Wahhabism.

Earlier in the month, the authorities enforced a ban on the sale of red roses and other symbols used in many countries to mark Valentine’s Day.

The ban is partly because of the connection with a “pagan Christian holiday”, and also because the festival itself is seen as encouraging relations between the sexes outside marriage, punishable by law in the kingdom.

You can read the whole article HERE.

I wonder . . . is this what is going to happen in Kuwait? So like they segregate the university. . . then they segregate all the schools, EVEN THE PRIVATE SCHOOLS, so there is no choice. . . then they start patrolling the malls?

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I lived in Saudi Arabia, and I remember the mutawaaeen were NOT police, but sometimes they took on the prerogatives of the police. So I have to wonder, like who made the arrest in the malls? Was it the police? Was it the mutawa hitting the boys with their little sticks? Did they call the boys parents? I have SO many questions!

February 23, 2008 Posted by | Bureaucracy, Community, Cross Cultural, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Friends & Friendship, Generational, Kuwait, Living Conditions, Mating Behavior, Political Issues, Privacy, Relationships, Saudi Arabia, Shopping, Social Issues, Spiritual | 14 Comments

Aidan Hartley’s Zanzibar Chest

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I started Zanzibar Chest in December, and could not get into it. It was interesting, but at first the tone was . . . I don’t know, maybe pompous? Something in the tone put me off, and yet I didn’t put it back on the bookshelves, nor did I give it away. It sat on my bed table while I attacked lesser works, more enjoyable fare. Then, one day, I just knew it was time to try it again, and this time, I could hardly put it down.

Born in Kenya, just before the rebellion, Aidan Hartley spent his life mostly in Africa. He skillfully interweaves three main story lines – the life of his mother and father, the life of his father’s best friend and his own life as a news correspondent.

This is not a joyful book. It is not inspirational. It is a tough, hard look at the people who cover the news, and the toll it takes on their lives. It is a story of drugs and alcohol to numb the pain of what they are observing, the comraderie of gallows humor and surviving the intensity of living through life-threatening moments together.

He covers some truly awful events. He covers the wars in Somalia, and in Rwanda. He covers Kosovo and Serbia. He is sent into some of the most dangerous and awful of places. He pays the price.

In his Zanzibar Chest, he takes us with him.

I will share a couple quotes with you, and if you are sensitive, please stop reading now. This book is not for you. It is almost not for me, except that sometimes I think we need to come face to face with just how awful reality can be to put our own lives right, to set appropriate priorities.

“I can’t put my finger on exactly how death smells. The stench of human putrefecation is different from that of all other animals. It moves us as instinctively as the cry of a newly born baby. It lies at one extreme end of the olfactory register. Blood from the injured and the dying smells coppery. After a cadaver’s a day old, you smell it before you see it. From the odor alone, I could tell how long a body had been dead and even, depending on whether brains or bowels had been opened up, where it had been hacked or shot. A body would quickly balloon up in the tropical heat, eyes and tongue swelling, flesh straining against clothes until the skin bursts and fluids spill from lesions. Flies would get in there and within three days the corpse might stink. It became a yellow mass of pupae cascading out of all orifices and the flesh literally undulated beneath the clothes. The tough bits of skin on the palms of their hands and the soles of their feet were the parts of the body that always rotted away last. As living people, these had been peasants who had walked without shoes and worked hard in the fields. A man who had been dead seven days reeks of boiling beans, guava fruit, glue, blown handkerchiefs, cloves and vinegar. After that he starts to dry out into a skeleton until he’s almost inoffensive . . .

The dead accompanied me long after Rwanda. It was months before I could order a plate of red meat served up in a restaurant. I smelled putrefaction in my mouth, or in my dirty socks, or as sweat on my body. I imagined what people I met would look like when dead. . . “

These guys all suffer from Post traumatic stress syndrome, they deaden themselves with drug and alcohol, and they are totally addicted to the adrenalin rush their job gives them. Living on adrenalin takes a huge toll – on their health, on their mental health, on their relationships, on their belief in goodness. They are the witnesses to the enormity of man’s inhumanity against one another.

In another quote, the author tells us:

“It was impossible for latecomers to comprehend the evil committed here but the British military top brass were still so scared of what their soldiers might see and what it would do to their minds that they sent a psychiatrist to accompany the forces to Rwanda. Bald Sam and I were amazed at that. We laughed about it. A shrink! It seemed extravagant. But the truth is that we stuck close to that man for days. We said it was all for a story, but really it was about us. The psychiatrist, whose name was Ian, told us his special area of interest was the minds of war correspondents. I could see Bald Sam squirming with happiness at all the attention, and I felt quite flattered myself. . . .

. . . for years I did endure some sort of payback. I have to try every day to prevent the poison that sits in my mind to spread outward and hurt the people I love. Sometimes I can’t stop it and I wonder if in some way the corruption will be passed on from me to my children.”

Toward the end of the book, the author tells us how hard it is to give up this adrenalin-news-junky life:

“Whenever I see a news headline to this day I half feel I should board the next flight into the heart of it. I’d love to get all charged up again and I could write the story with my eyes closed. I’m sure the sense that I’m missing out while others get in on a great story will never completely pass. . . The sight of people committing acts of unspeakable brutality against others fills a hole in some of us. The activity is made respectable by being paid a salary to do it, but there is a cost.”

This is not a book I really wanted to read, but it is a book I will never forget. Hartley doesn’t spare himself in the telling of this tale. He takes us with us and shows us all of it, and all of his own warts along with the tale. Would I recommend this book? Not for the sensitive, not for those who don’t want to look at the dark side. Between idyllic sequences on the beaches near Mombasa, in the hills of Kenya and Tanzania, in the dusty deserts of Yemen, there are some very intense and bloody moments. This is non-fiction, it is a documentary, it is a slice of the real life one man has seen, and that to which he has been witness. Read the book, and like him, you pay a price. You carry images in your head that you can’t forget, and a sorrow for our inability to solve our differences peaceably.

(Available in paperback from Amazon.com for $10.88. Disclosure: Yes, I own stock in Amazon.com.)

February 20, 2008 Posted by | Adventure, Africa, Biography, Books, Bureaucracy, Character, Community, Cross Cultural, ExPat Life, Kenya, Living Conditions, News, Political Issues, Spiritual, Tanzania | , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

God Laughs

So I think I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that Lent was beginning and I was giving up all cursing in the car, as a kind of practicing some spiritual discipline kind of thing.

What I didn’t tell you was that I had this sneaky strategy all planned out – I had all kinds of projects lined up at home, and I didn’t really intend to be on the road much during Lent, and I thought that not putting myself in temptation would help do the trick.

I always get tripped up when I make those kinds of strategic decisions toward spiritual disciplines. Strategic and spiritual don’t always blend too well.

What happened is this – suddenly I have found myself on the road more than I ever thought. On the road every single day. Running from one thing to another. And not just my familiar treks either, but some challenging driving, new places, and with people in the car.

The pressure is on. The very worst day of all, I just had to give God a great big grin and thank him for the opportunity to really, really practice my spiritual discipline. The car is full of people, I am on a strange road, sand and dust are blowing everywhere, the competition for my road space are on their way home with their kids in the car, the highways are packed and people are hungry and all I can do is laugh, because I sure can’t curse.

February 20, 2008 Posted by | Adventure, Community, Cultural, ExPat Life, Kuwait, Lent, Living Conditions, Spiritual, Weather | 4 Comments

Exercise to Counter Mild Depression

Today in BBC Health News something we all knew intuitively, but studies are showing it to be true – if you are depressed, exercise can help deal with the symptoms.

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Exercise aids depression, say GPs

Doctors are increasingly prescribing exercise for people with depression, mental health campaigners have found. In a survey of 200 English GPs, the Mental Health Foundation found 22% suggest exercise to help people with milder forms of the condition.

This compares with just 5% in a similar survey three years ago.

The foundation said it was important that doctors did not just prescribe antidepressants for patients, and looked for other options.

Tackling isolation

Research has shown that exercise can help people with mild forms of depression by improving self-esteem – through better body image or achieving goals, and by relieving feelings of isolation which can fuel their depression.

It also releases feel-good brain chemicals such as endorphins.

You can read the entire article HERE>

February 8, 2008 Posted by | Bureaucracy, Community, Diet / Weight Loss, Exercise, Health Issues, Living Conditions, Relationships, Social Issues, Spiritual | 5 Comments

When the Wicked Prosper

I learn so much listening to my Kuwaiti friends. The other night, over dinner, a good friend explained to me about how Islam teaches you that if someone slaps you, you are supposed to turn the other cheek. That is exactly what Jesus told us to do, and I had NO idea it was also in the Qur’an.

So here is my question for today: What does the Qur’an have to say about people who appear to prosper, even though they are bad, through and through.

In my culture, many times I have heard people ask how people who do such evil can also appear to be so blessed? The question crosses all the boundaries of church alliance, religion, morality. Isn’t good supposed to be rewarded? Why do the wicked appear to have abundance, and to be kept safe, while bad things happen to good people?

Psalm 37 has all the answers. My favorite is line 13 – The Lord laughs at the wicked; he knows their day is coming. I think I’ll write it out and put it on my dashboard, and instead of cursing when some yahoo cuts me off with only a millimeter to spare, I will repeat that verse.

Today’s Psalm from the readings of The Lectionary is about that very subject.

Psalm 37

Of David.
1Do not fret because of the wicked;
do not be envious of wrongdoers,
2for they will soon fade like the grass,
and wither like the green herb.

3Trust in the Lord, and do good;
so you will live in the land, and enjoy security.
4Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

5Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in him, and he will act.
6He will make your vindication shine like the light,
and the justice of your cause like the noonday.

7Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for him;
do not fret over those who prosper in their way,
over those who carry out evil devices.

8Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath.
Do not fret—it leads only to evil.
9For the wicked shall be cut off,
but those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land.

10Yet a little while, and the wicked will be no more;
though you look diligently for their place, they will not be there.
11But the meek shall inherit the land,
and delight in abundant prosperity.

12The wicked plot against the righteous,
and gnash their teeth at them;
13but the Lord laughs at the wicked,
for he sees that their day is coming.

14The wicked draw the sword and bend their bows
to bring down the poor and needy,
to kill those who walk uprightly;
15their sword shall enter their own heart,
and their bows shall be broken.

16Better is a little that the righteous person has
than the abundance of many wicked.
17For the arms of the wicked shall be broken,
but the Lord upholds the righteous.

18The Lord knows the days of the blameless,
and their heritage will abide for ever

February 7, 2008 Posted by | Lent, Living Conditions, Random Musings, Spiritual | 16 Comments

Lent and Laughter

“So how’s that workin’ for you?” cackles AdventureMan, on a roll. He is totally cracking himself up.

“Hey, where’s your wife, AdventureMan?” he goes on, his high story-telling voice as he goes on making up stories. “Oh, I had to send her back to the Us of A for cursing in the car during Lent.”

He is not even listening. He is on a roll. Oh, he thinks he is so funny.

Today is the first day of Great Lent, our 40 day season of repentance and looking inward, fasting and spiritual examination. AdventureMan has asked what sacrifice I will make, and I had just said that last year, giving up swearing in the car, one word in particular, while I was driving had been a real struggle, but that I had actually managed, mostly. Not perfectly, but mostly.

“This year,” I told him, “I am going to practice turning the other cheek, I am going to try to be a peaceful spirit on the road, I am raising the bar.”

That’s when he started cracking up. There was no stopping him.

He had already told me he is giving up liver and brains and kidneys for Lent, all foods he stays far away from anyway. AdventureMan doesn’t take sacrificing for Lent very seriously. “I’m going to fast the way Little Diamond describes in her blog, you know, like the Maronites,” he giggles, barely able to talk, “only instead of fasting from midnight to noon, I will fast from ten at night until ten in the morning!”

He is laughing so hard he can hardly hear me.

“That’s not a sacrifice!” I argue! “You are sleeping most of that time, and you don’t eat breakfast anyway! That’s not a sacrifice!”

‘You worry about YOUR sacrifices and I will worry about mine!” he says, and I know he is right.

The truth is, AdventureMan sacrifices every day of his life. He works hard to provide a good life for his family. He sacrifices his time and energy every single day. He goes to church with me willingly, he prays with me every morning. It’s enough.

February 6, 2008 Posted by | Adventure, Character, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Kuwait, Lent, Living Conditions, Marriage, Relationships, Spiritual | 8 Comments

An Invitation to Bloggers

This is exactly the kind of event I love passing along to bloggers and blog readers in Kuwait. I hope to see you there! 🙂

Digital Prints of the Everyday Life
(Art Exhibition)

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From 2-13 February
Dar Al Funoon Gallery
10 AM – 1 PM and 4-8 PM (Sun.-Thu.)
4-8 PM (Sat.) and 10 AM – 1 PM (Thu.)

Digital Prints of Everyday Life by LOAAY

The art work exhibited by the artist LOAAY shows eclectic artistic expression which makes the exhibition more enjoyable. Each piece has its unique visual identity, yet they all revolve around everyday life. ‘Love tree’ is inspired by nature; ‘It starts here´ comes from his urban environment and both ‘Lunchtime by the pier’ and ‘Cold Edinburgh’ that are works evolving from his frequent travels. The twenty eight piece artworks collection has been described as a visual feast.

The artist, LOAAY is a branding consultant who started to express himself artistically after surviving cancer. He is an internationally recognized artist who has exhibited in Connecticut, USA, in Algiers, Algeria, in Helsinki, Finland, and now at Dar Al Funoon in Kuwait.

Dar al Funoon is located at the Behehani Compound, House No. 28, Al Watiah (behind the Church). The exhibition hours are from 10 AM – 1 PM and 4-8 PM (Sun.-Thu.), 4-8 PM (Sat.) and 10 AM – 1 PM (Thu.). Call 243 3138 or visit http://www.LOAAY.com for more details. The artist can often be found at the exhibit during the evening hours.

February 6, 2008 Posted by | Arts & Handicrafts, Blogging, Community, Cross Cultural, Entertainment, Events, ExPat Life, Kuwait, Living Conditions, Public Art, Shopping, Spiritual | 2 Comments

5 Women Shot in Clothing Store

On AOL News this morning, there is a story about five women being shot in a Chicago clothing store. The story is still emerging; the police suspect it was a robbery.

I had a friend who lived in Berlin, when Berlin was still a divided city. From time to time she would be asked to take some visiting VIP across the checkpoints to see the sights and do some shopping in East Berlin. One time she took a distinguished visitor to a shop specializing in optics.

He cried out “DID YOU SEE THE PRICE ON THOSE BINOCULARS??”

Those were his last words. He clutched his chest and had a heart attack right then. He died on the sidewalk.

Of all the things in the world I don’t want, I don’t want to die like that, not shopping for clothing, not so excited over a bargain in the Leica shop that I have a fatal heart attack. We never know when our time is up. As believers, we don’t get to choose.

I pray to be able to die with some kind of dignity.

February 3, 2008 Posted by | News, Shopping, Spiritual | 8 Comments

Niemoeller and “When They Came for Me. . . “

Today’s quote from A.Word.A.Day:

Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the
tormentor, never the tormented.

-Elie Wiesel, writer, Nobel laureate (b.1928)

When I read this quote, I was reminded of Pastor Martin Niemoeller’s poem about Nazi Germany, “When They Came For Me:”

In Germany, they came first for the Communists, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Communist;
And then they came for the trade unionists, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist;
And then they came for the Jews, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew;
And then . . . they came for me . . . And by that time there was no one left to speak up.”

We are all by nature cowards. We take the easy way out, we look the other way, we tell ourselves “later” I will do this or that, “later” I will get involved. When our nations and our character slide into the dumps, we have no one but ourselves to blame.

January 30, 2008 Posted by | Arts & Handicrafts, Bureaucracy, Character, Community, Random Musings, Relationships, Spiritual, Words | 2 Comments

Tips for an Exceptional, Superb and Powerful Life

I was at an utter loss for a blog entry today, when I was blessed to receive this from a wonderful friend in Qatar. Many thanks, Grammy!

Tips for an Exceptional, Superb & Powerful Life!

1) Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate antidepressant.

2) Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.

3) Buy a Tivo (DVR), tape your late night shows and get more sleep.

4) When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, ‘My purpose is to________ today.’

5) Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.

6) Watch more movies, play more games and read more books than you did last year.

7) Always pray and make time to exercise.

8) Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of Six.

9) Dream more while you are awake.

10) Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less foods that are manufactured in
plants.

11) Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli , almonds
& walnuts.

12) Try to make at least three people smile each day.

13) Clear your clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.

14) Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative
thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead, invest your energy in the positive present moment.

15) Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class….but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

16) Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

17) Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.

18) Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

19) Life is too sho rt to waste time hating anyone.

20) Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

21) You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

22) Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

23) Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

24) Ladies – Go on and burn those ‘special’ scented candles, use the 600 thread count sheets, the good china and wear our fancy lingerie now. Stop waiting for a special occasion. Everyday is special.

25) No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26) Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ‘In five years, will this matter?’

27.) Forgive everyone for everything.

28) What other people think of you is none of your business.

29) Time heals almost everything. Give time, time!

30) However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

31) Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch with them.

32) Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

33) Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. God provides remember?!

34) The best is yet to come. (in Heaven)

35) No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

36) Do the right thing!

37) Call your family often.

38) Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: ‘I am thankful for __________.’ Today I accomplished _________.

39) Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

40) Enjoy the ride. Remember that this is not Disney World and you certainly don’t want a fast
pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.

Please share with friends!

January 30, 2008 Posted by | Exercise, Family Issues, Health Issues, Spiritual | 8 Comments