A TCK Wedding (Third Culture Kids)
Several years ago, back in my earlier blogging years, a Kuwaiti friend, Amer al Hilaliya wrote a wonderful post: I Am a Third Culture Kid, Are You? He never anticipated the result – comment after comment, some short, some a little bitter, some longer and insightful. The Third Culture Kids know who they are, and are eager to share their insights and experiences – but mostly with other Third Culture Kids, who understand.
Others . . . don’t get it.
This weekend, we went to a wonderful Third Culture Kids wedding. It wasn’t billed that way, but it was so thoroughly that way that I couldn’t stop seeing it. It doesn’t hurt that we are reading the seminal work on Third Culture Kids by David C. Pollock and Ruth E Van Renken called, yep, you guessed it, Third Culture Kids.
It’s almost like reading a whole new book. It has all the Third Culture Kids stories, but has expanded to include third culture kids cousins, like the adult third culture kids, ATCKs (those who have lived a goodly share of their lives in a non-native culture), cross culture adoptees, cross cultural marriages, etc. One of the points they make is that being third culture kids cuts across a lot of boundaries and makes for odd – odd by normal standards – friendships. Once again, across the boundaries – countries, old, young – friendships are determined by a commonality in experiences outside the native culture. It is a fascinating read.
People don’t think of how LONG Florida is, tip to tip, but from Pensacola to Fort Myers is a fuuur piece, as they say, even if it is on an inside curve. Thank God it wasn’t Key West! We thought it would be an eight hour drive, and it turned into thirteen, with heavy traffic from Lake City to Ft Myer.
The wedding was sweet, simple and heart felt. Both sets of parents had done significant missionary work in foreign countries, and the kids were definitely third culture kids. The groom would speak Turkish in his sotto voce asides to his best man, who grew up with him on the streets of Ankara. The bride’s brother read all the greetings and best wishes to the bride from her friends in Hungary – and he read them all in Hungarian.
Just as the ceremony started, along came a pirate ship! Some things, you just can’t plan, they just happen.
They all told family stories, and one of them stuck in our hearts because it reflects our own experiences growing up in the Moslem world. The groom, as a young man, came home flustered because a woman on the metro, as he was coming home, noticed he was not wearing an undershirt under his T-shirt, and assumed he was a homeless child. She started talking with all the other passengers, and they marched him off the train to the souks, where they insisted on buying him an undershirt (who knew that you were not properly dressed in Turkey unless you were wearing a sleeveless undershirt?) and also a sweater, to keep him warm on the streets. All this, in spite of the fact that this homeless boy spoke excellent Turkish and kept telling them he had a home! No! No undershirt, he has to be homeless.
Few people in America know the kindnesses we experience living in the Moslem world. It may not always make sense to us – in Tunis, we always wondered if we were getting the annual Eid platter of lamb and couscous showed up because we were thought to be poor or because we were strangers? There has always been a sweetness and generosity to our Moslem neighbors that humbled us. Because of the layering upon layering of these kindnesses, we see Islam, and the Middle East, differently from most of our American friends who have never lived among Moslems. Maybe if we all knew one another a little better, we would have less cause to fear one another, and maybe without all that fear, we could manage a little less hatred.
What is a wedding without babies and children to remind us of the Circle of Life (which AdventureMan calls The Circle of Death). This little one speaks English and Turkish already, and loved the sugar white sands of Ft. Myers Beach and the little seashells, just her size.
As more and more people cross borders, for work, for play, for marriage, for education, as we live in ‘alien’ cultures and learn other ways of thinking, maybe we are growing into an entire world with a larger viewpoint?
God-With-A-Sense-of-Humor at King O Felafel in Orlando
After driving seven and a half hours to get to the convention hotel, AdventureMan and I needed dinner! We settled in to our hotel and took a quick look at the menu – nope. We needed something comforting, something familiar. And there it was, just one minute, I am not kidding, from our hotel, the King O Felafel.
God-with-a-sense-of-humor had plopped us splat down in a hotel in the middle of Middle-Eastern-Land. Minutes from Disney, minutes from all the shoddy tackiness of Orlando, we find ourselves “home.”
The King O Felafel’s shop was full of regulars, including one very large family taking up about five tables all put together, and having a wonderful time. The King himself makes his own felafels, using that little felafel making tool, he was so quick. The was clean clean clean, and service was quick.
We started with lentil soup, and I ordered the Vegetarian Platter (which was like a mezze) and AdventureMan ordered a Felafel Sandwich.
Oh, how we have been yearning for the simple joy of a felafel sandwich done right. The King O Felafel was heaven for us.
Thank goodness I remembered to take a picture before we demolished the entire platter!
So simple, so good. A homemade felafel. Perfection.
This shop is not undiscovered. He has a large clientele of all kinds of people who appreciate superb food, beautifully and tastily prepared.
Across the street from the King O Felafel is a mosque which also has a gym and a meeting hall. There are several other ‘Mediterranean’ restaurants nearby, and several hookah lounges. There are so many shops in this little area of Kissimmee with ‘halal’ foods and even groceries selling halal meats. Wow.
Mosque – my photo was blurry, so I grabbed this from Google Maps. I guess it used to be a computer shop; now it has arabic writing on it and a sign that says it is the AMYL Center (Masjid Shadi)
Airline Fees We Love To Hate
Frequent Flyer.com reveals a new survey identifying the fees airline travelers hate the most:
It goes without saying that of the many gripes travelers currently have about flying, the so-called ancillary fees charged by the airlines for, well, everything they can disaggregate from the core service would rank near the top of the most-despised list.
But of the multitude of such fees, which irk travelers the most?
A new survey conducted by Skift shines some light into that dark corner of the travel experience.
According to a poll of 1,000 adults, the most and least reviled airline fees are as follows:
Bag check fees (50.1%)
Seat selection fees (18.4%)
Inflight WiFi fees (12.4%)
Inflight food or beverage fees (9.7%)
Early boarding fees (9.4%)
Although there was general unanimity across age and other groups, there were a few interesting demographic disconnects:
Wealthier travelers were less bothered by bag fees but more bothered by seat-selection fees.
Less wealthy travelers were notably less bothered by inflight meal/drink fees.
Younger flyers were more bothered by inflight WiFi fees.
Travelers 65 years and older were most bothered by inflight meal/drink fees.
Steamer Trunks
I saw this ad in a higher end magazine and felt a bolt of recognition pass through me . . . my Mom had a suitcase, probably from her Mom or grandmother, that looked like this. She stored special fabrics in it for later use. It always smelled like faraway places.
Look at the space! You can pack everything neatly into drawers, you can hang your hanging clothes.
These were for ship travel, where someone would deliver your trunk to the ship and sometimes, even unpack it for you and store the trunk in the hold while you dined and supped your way across the Atlantic – maybe ten to fourteen days. There were no restrictions on numbers of bags, no restrictions on bag size.
Even as a child, going back and forth to university from Germany, we had BIG bags, huge bags we could stuff full. The two bag limit was 77 pounds, but it seems to me that the airline staff always looked the other way. I still get steamed every time I fly a “foreign” (i.e. not an airline I have privileges on) airline and have to pay a baggage fee for even one bag. Stuffed in like sardines, even in business class. Unspeakable food, tinier and tinier restrooms . . . People fighting for space in the overhead bins . . .
Oh my gosh; I am talking like an OLD person.
My Travel Must-Have
I don’t like large handbags. I am small; a large bag is disproportionate. At the same time, I wanted a bag big enough to stick my computer in without looking like a briefcase. I wanted to be able to take my computer to Alaska with me.
I looked and looked, searching for the right bag. I looked in Pensacola, I looked online, I looked in Seattle. It had to be the right size, a nice heavy leather, a sturdy leather carry strap, and a neutral color as I was only taking one bag. Finally, at the very last minute I found this wonderful bag, and the computer fit beautifully, leaving room for my camera and wallet – what more do I need, right?
Then, me being me, the night before leaving for Alaska I decided I really did not need to carry a full sized computer, that the iPad had enough capacity and besides, it had books and Sudoku on it. But I still liked the purse; I stuck a nightshirt inside in case my luggage got lost, it has a side zip pocket for tickets, car rental brochures and car keys, and with everything inside, it was still roomy and not too heavy. It is wonderful boarding airplanes with just a purse!
By the end of the trip, I was in love. It is a great bag, goes everywhere, can be filled or used with little, it is versatile. I love this bag!
Dinner at the Twisted Fish in Juneau
Even though it was down on the docks where the cruise ships dock, local people we asked often mentioned Twisted Fish as the place they liked to dine in Juneau. Here is the menu so my Mom can see the prices 🙂
The entrance to Twisted Fish facing the wharf:
Interior dining area with view
Interior Host(ess) and Bar
Very nice side salad
First Mate’s Plate – grilled salmon, grilled halibut and (for us) a side of sauteed spinach instead of fries or mashed potatoes 🙂
Although it is on the cruise ship docks, it is way down at the south end, and many of the cruise ship people would rather eat free (well, already paid for) on board, or eat elsewhere. The Twisted Fish was recommended by a local, and we can see several locals already seated when we come in. The hostess is good at finding us a good table with a view – we like this place.
Twisted Fish is in the same building as the Taku smoked fish building. It has a lot of wood decor, and a lively bar, and a good menu. AdventureMan and I end up ordering the same thing – side salads, and the First Mate’s Plate, which is a slab of grilled halibut and a slab of grilled salmon, served, as we requested, with no rice or potatoes, but with sauteed spinach, YUMMY. We had a Lost Angels cabernet, nice, dry, complex. The sun set behind one of the cruise ships, LOL.
I had hoped they might have some kind of berry cobbler for dessert, but all their desserts were huge mammoth portions of fudgy chocolatey or creamy things, and we passed on dessert and went looking for gelato. We were hugely full anyway, and very happy with our dinners. It’s a good thing, because by seven, all the tourist-oriented stores and ice cream places are closed down, hosing down their outside venues, pulling all their display items inside.
It’s hilarious how quickly and how early everything shuts down. I wonder what the Europeans think; do they look for night life? I wonder about our Middle Eastern friends used to the souks with lights and colors staying open all hours of the night ‘for your buying convenience?’ 😉
Zen Chinese Food in Juneau, Alaska
I felt so bad, I felt like I was betraying my heritage, but after nearly two weeks of eating salmon and halibut and crab and shrimp and scallops . . . we were ready for a change. AdventureMan spotted Zen, a restaurant in the Goldbelt Hotel, and it looked interesting. When we went inside, there were a lot of people there already, but many of them were busy accessing the internet, waiting for friends, arranging upcoming parties, etc. We were ready to EAT.
It gets worse – they have a really good menu. There are halibut dishes, shrimp dishes – I could have stayed true to the traditional and had ginger halibut, or something, but no, when I backslid, I backslid all the way.
We looked around, everyone was ordering the lunch specials. There are so many to choose from!
AdventureMan settled on the Hot and Sour Soup and the Cashew Chicken. When it arrived, he was impressed. Not only was there an abundance of cashews, they were also deliciously roasted:
I had the Miso soup and Vegetables with Garlic – perfect!
Might as well go all the way, once you backslide. You can always pick yourself up and behave tomorrow! 😉
The food came quickly and was beautifully prepared. We were surprised at how much care had been taken on dishes that were part of the daily specials. Service was prompt without being intrusive, and friendly. We were glad we ate there. We lament the lack of really good Chinese food in Pensacola; sadly, Zen had the edge over the best that Pensacola offers.
The Alaska State Museum in Juneau
“Oh,” the docent laughed, “everyone asks about that old bear. He hasn’t been around for years. He got all patchy because all the kids touched him and his hair fell off.”
LOL. I know one of those kids. There was a big sign that said “Do Not Touch the Bear” but he was a snowy white polar bear and . . . irresistible. My Dad worked in the same building as this museum, in its old location, and I would meet him there for a ride home after going to the library.
I loved this museum.
This time, it was one of the highlights of the entire trip. This museum is rich in well-curated pieces, and they are beautifully arranged. A new museum is going up; I can only hope that when it opens, it is at least as well done as this one is. Both AdventureMan and I could spend a lot more time in this museum.
Carving at the entrance:
Bent wood box
Painted chest
Ceremonial robe
Everyday clothing
Upiq masks
Close up Upiq masks
Sun motif ceremonial outfit – look at the leg pieces – don’t they look like Sadu weaving to you?
Moon motif ceremonial outfit
Hand made hats. I was so surprised; these are like prayer caps in Oman and in Pakistan and I think in Indonesia. That they would be so similar in shape and geometric embroidery was amazing to me.
Eagle’s nest display, with eagle sounds. I love this! There is also a bear, but positioned so you really cannot touch . . . 😦
Corner pillars of Alaskan native houses used to look like this, not exactly totemic but with carved spirits:
There is so much more. I focused on the Alaskan Native inhabitants, but there are also exhibits of the coming of the Russians, the gold rush, the transition to territory and statehood . . . I can only take in so much at one time! Good thing we are going back 🙂
ALASKA STATE MUSEUM
395 Whittier Street
Juneau, AK 99811-1718
Tel: 907.465.2901
Fax: 907.465.2976
Juneau and Tracey’s Crab Shack
Getting close to Juneau, we spot these very strange cloud formations:
As we dock, we call the hotel shuttle from Country Lane and they are there within minutes. They drop us off at the hotel so we can unload our bags, then take us over to the airport so we can pick up our car.
You know me and public art. I love these sculptures in the Juneau airport, and especially that they have the traditional Haida forms as part of their form:
It is a gorgeous day in Juneau, 70°, hey, the sun is shining, it is very warm, this is a great day. We head immediately in to town for lunch at Tracy’s Crab Shack.
This is for my Mom; she likes to see the prices 🙂
Tracy’s Crab Shack is one smart operation. First – location location location. They are right on the cruise ship docks. First thing you step off one of those giant ships, you see Traceys. Second, they don’t rely on location. They have a first quality product. They don’t compromise. They cook the crab legs right out in the open, fresh, while you wait. They have crowds standing in line to get these crab legs, and you eat outside at butcher paper covered tables; the crab meals are served in paper containers and you SHARE tables. It works.
We share a table with two rough young men and have a fascinating conversation. They drove up, have had fabulous adventures and we shared information. I said that the thing that surprised me was that I expected Alaska to be more wired than it is; one of them said that his big surprise was to find Alaska as wired as it is, and that wifi is available at a large number of cafes and restaurants. That was fascinating to me, to opposite perspectives. Part of it, I think, was being on the ferry system – all the ferries in Seattle are wired, so it was a shock to me that the Alaska ferries were not.
One of our tablemates had now visited all 50 states, and the other had visited
49 states.
We saw people from all over the world lined up and eating King Crab at Tracy’s. AdventureMan had the crab bisque over rice and I had the crab cakes. Eating King Crab legs is messy, and I didn’t want to smell like crab for the rest of the day.
Tracey’s is the number one rated restaurant in Juneau on TripAdvisor and UrbanSpoon. I think it must be the combination of the crowd they attract and the product. Juneau people eat there, too.
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