Here There and Everywhere

Expat wanderer

What Women Did For Fun

Several weeks ago, AdventureMan presented me with two (large) piles of files, saying that they were mine and needed to be gone through. I spent the day today tossing out old term papers, old manuscripts, old resumes – lots and lots of things that were worth saving, and now, not so much.

One thing I came across was a file with copies of work my departed aunt Helen had done to gain entrance into the DAR, Daughters of the American Revolution (Revolutionary War for America’s Independence). It was like a game, only when she started playing, there was no e-mail, only snail mail. Long distance telephone calls were expensive, and she was a Navy wife, so it was all done by hand.

Genealogy work, too, was painstakingly done, and family histories, cemetery records, lists of people arriving and departing on ships and who married who – all lovingly compiled and typed on manual typewriters by people with a passion for making connections, solving the mysteries of who married whom and for how long:

(“no need to mention the divorce” one correspondent wrote, “it happened in my family, too, and it isn’t relevant so we just won’t mention it” she wrote about a marriage that ceased to exist over a hundred years before)

My aunt had a sure thing, and she had a unique entry, so she was tracking three entries at the same time, trying to prove a new connection, while knowing she had in her pocket an already proven entry.

I lost a couple hours of my life, reading through all the correspondence, trying to decipher her notes and the arcane charts of relationships stretching back to 1690, when one line of the family arrived on these shores. I grinned, thinking how we document our bloodlines, leaving out the pirates and the horse thieves, and (legend has it) the French aristocrat who left his first family in France and started our branch here, without having divorced his first family, LOL.

My aunt must have been a little younger than I am when she started on this search, and I know that she served proudly in the DAR for many years, along with several civic committees, library committees and planning commissions in Santa Barbara, California. I still miss her.

September 30, 2010 Posted by | Aging, Community, Detective/Mystery, Family Issues, Friends & Friendship, Generational, Social Issues, Women's Issues | 4 Comments

This is the Way We Wash Our Clothes . . . Wash our Clothes . . .”

We grew up, in America, singing a song about washing clothes:

“This is the way we wash our clothes, wash our clothes, wash our clothes,
This is the way we wash our clothes, all on a Monday morning.”

Tuesday we iron our clothes, Wednesday we mend our clothes. You can read the entire week at Mulberry Bush. Just click the blue type.

Today, Letitia Long will be named as head of the US National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency. It makes me smile to think that these two news articles appear on the same day. Women used to die young, worn out from bearing too many babies, and working themselves to the bone to keep their houses and clothes clean. Just washing clothes was an entire day event, heating huge pots of water, using a washing board, drying clothes by laying them over bushes and rocks, only the very luckiest had a clothesline.

These humble machines save hours of time. You can read the entire story of the earliest washing machines Here, At AOL News.

(Aug. 8) — “Thor” has been the name of several powerful forces in history, including a Norse god and a Marvel Comics superhero. But the strongest Thor might just be an electric-powered machine born 100 years ago that brought laundry into the modern era.

The first known washing “machine” is thought to be the scrub board, created in 1797. New-fangled hand-powered washers were introduced in 1851, but it wasn’t until a century ago that a drum-type machine with a galvanized tub and an electric motor, dubbed Thor, revolutionized the way people deal with dirty clothing.

Invented by Alva J. Fisher and introduced by Chicago’s Hurley Machine Co., the washing machine — which was patented on Aug. 9th, 1910 — is important for three distinct reasons, according to Thor Appliances vice president of marketing Michael Lee.

“First, it celebrates the birth of one of the oldest and most innovative brands/companies in home appliances,” Lee told AOL News. “Second, it represents the beginning of the washing machine industry. And third, it marks the date that clothes washing was transformed from an arduous physical task to an automated task.”

August 9, 2010 Posted by | Living Conditions, Social Issues, Women's Issues, Work Related Issues | 13 Comments

God Puts Women in Responsible Positions

I like the discipline of reading the Lectionary every day, because there are some stories we all know, familiar stories, but reading every day, we learn the less familiar stories. The book of Judges is not a book I would turn to saying “Oh good! Today we are reading Judges!” but now that I am into it, I am coming across some gems.

Here, we have Deborah, a prophetess and judge, and Jael, a courageous and determined women, and oh, what a difference their faithfulness makes:

Judges 4:4-23

4 At that time Deborah, a prophetess, wife of Lappidoth, was judging Israel. 5She used to sit under the palm of Deborah between Ramah and Bethel in the hill country of Ephraim; and the Israelites came up to her for judgement. 6 She sent and summoned Barak son of Abinoam from Kedesh in Naphtali, and said to him, ‘The Lord, the God of Israel, commands you, “Go, take position at Mount Tabor, bringing ten thousand from the tribe of Naphtali and the tribe of Zebulun. 7 I will draw out Sisera, the general of Jabin’s army, to meet you by the Wadi Kishon with his chariots and his troops; and I will give him into your hand.” ’

8 Barak said to her, ‘If you will go with me, I will go; but if you will not go with me, I will not go.’

9 And she said, ‘I will surely go with you; nevertheless, the road on which you are going will not lead to your glory, for the Lord will sell Sisera into the hand of a woman.’ Then Deborah got up and went with Barak to Kedesh. 10 Barak summoned Zebulun and Naphtali to Kedesh; and ten thousand warriors went up behind him; and Deborah went up with him.

11 Now Heber the Kenite had separated from the other Kenites,* that is, the descendants of Hobab the father-in-law of Moses, and had encamped as far away as Elon-bezaanannim, which is near Kedesh.

12 When Sisera was told that Barak son of Abinoam had gone up to Mount Tabor, 13 Sisera called out all his chariots, nine hundred chariots of iron, and all the troops who were with him, from Harosheth-ha-goiim to the Wadi Kishon. 14 Then Deborah said to Barak, ‘Up! For this is the day on which the Lord has given Sisera into your hand. The Lord is indeed going out before you.’ So Barak went down from Mount Tabor with ten thousand warriors following him. 15 And the Lord threw Sisera and all his chariots and all his army into a panic* before Barak; Sisera got down from his chariot and fled away on foot, 16 while Barak pursued the chariots and the army to Harosheth-ha-goiim. All the army of Sisera fell by the sword; no one was left.

17 Now Sisera had fled away on foot to the tent of Jael wife of Heber the Kenite; for there was peace between King Jabin of Hazor and the clan of Heber the Kenite. 18 Jael came out to meet Sisera, and said to him, ‘Turn aside, my lord, turn aside to me; have no fear.’ So he turned aside to her into the tent, and she covered him with a rug. 19 Then he said to her, ‘Please give me a little water to drink; for I am thirsty.’ So she opened a skin of milk and gave him a drink and covered him. 20 He said to her, ‘Stand at the entrance of the tent, and if anybody comes and asks you, “Is anyone here?” say, “No.” ’

21 But Jael wife of Heber took a tent-peg, and took a hammer in her hand, and went softly to him and drove the peg into his temple, until it went down into the ground—he was lying fast asleep from weariness—and he died. 22 Then, as Barak came in pursuit of Sisera, Jael went out to meet him, and said to him, ‘Come, and I will show you the man whom you are seeking.’ So he went into her tent; and there was Sisera lying dead, with the tent-peg in his temple.

23 So on that day God subdued King Jabin of Canaan before the Israelites.

July 29, 2010 Posted by | Living Conditions, Poetry/Literature, Spiritual, Women's Issues | 3 Comments

The Bride: To Dance or Not to Dance?

From National Public Radio, where you can listen to the entire story

July 22, 2010

One Sudan Marriage Ritual: An Alluring Nude Dance
by GWEN THOMPKINS

A mating ritual in Northern Sudan is hotter than the Sahara but not for everyone to see.

It has no official name, only a few simple rules apply, and, like all matters of the heart and the loins, the custom is open to interpretation.

In English, people here call it the Bride Dance.

Young brides have been performing the dance on, or near, their wedding nights for thousands of years. Like Sudan, it is both Arab and African. And, like Sudan, it is neither Arab nor African.

It is deeply erotic. The women wear revealing clothes. Not so long ago, in some fleeting instances, they wore no clothes at all. Sometimes, a gathering of sisters, aunts, mothers and friends teaches the steps. Or wealthier brides engage professional instructors. Because rich or poor, urban or rural, every bride knows that doing the dance well takes practice.


(skirt traditionally worn)

The Bride Whisperer

Iman Ali, aka Shengota, is a kind of bride whisperer. She teaches young women how to be one part Salome, one part Beyonce and one part the girl next-door.

But that ain’t easy.

Creating the right effect takes several songs, smart choreography, a custom-built stage and a whole wardrobe of costume changes.

Young brides-to-be practice their steps every day, sometimes for months in advance. The upside, Shengota says, is that the women usually lose several pounds before the wedding. And that makes just about everybody happy.

When the music starts, the bride and groom mount a circular stage. And while the groom stands there snapping his fingers, the bride does her best to make him look like the luckiest man in the room. Never mind that he’s usually the only man in the room. The dance is, more often than not, performed in front of an entirely female audience of cheering family members and friends.

But not everyone here is a fan.

Contradicting The Rules?

The dance predates Islam in Sudan. And it may be one of the few customs on which feminists and Islamic fundamentalists agree.

Nowadays, plenty of Sudanese women say they don’t want to dance, “like monkeys,” half-naked for the crowd. And Sudan’s Islamic fundamentalist government has strict rules on how women should comport themselves in public: conservative attire, head and legs covered, no shimmying.

Fatima Sir El Khatim Hallulah danced when she was a bride at age 14. Now, at age 60, she says she doesn’t want her daughters to dance.

Hallulah says she was an uneducated country girl at 14, marrying a man she had never seen before at the bidding of her parents. But her daughters are university graduates who chose their own husbands. Hallulah says her girls should not be made to debase themselves. Others say they’d hate to see videos of their performances end up on YouTube.

‘Nice To Show Off A Little’

But after a recent dip in general interest in dancing, choreographer Shengota says her phone is now ringing more often. Educated women of Sudan’s economic elite are seeking her services.

Zaeneb El Khamis, a dentist in her late 20s, says the dance gives brides a chance to shake things up a little before settling down to marriage. The lights and the music and the costume changes — including different perfumes and nail polishes for different dances — can be great fun.

She, like many brides, enjoys watching the video of her performance with her family and friends. “It’s nice to show off a little,” El Khamis says. “I was good.”

July 22, 2010 Posted by | Africa, Living Conditions, Mating Behavior, Women's Issues | Leave a comment

Rise in Single Teen Age Mothers in US

Excerpts from new study out from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention found on AOL National News are below. To read the entire article, and for a link to the original report, click on the blue type above.

(June 2) — Attitudes among American teens about birth control, sexual activity and pregnancy have remained largely unchanged since 2002, according to a new federal report.

Stalled progress is bad enough, but some subtle changes also have experts concerned.

Most notably, more teens than ever are using the “rhythm method” to prevent pregnancy, and a growing number of teen girls approve of underage childbirth. . .

After dropping steadily for more than a decade, the teen birth rate in the U.S. rose between 2005 and 2007. Compared with other developed countries, the U.S. posted the remarkably high rate in 2007 of 42 babies per 1,000 teen girls. In Canada, by contrast, only 13 babies are born per 1,000 teen girls. . .

Laura Lindberg, senior research associate at the nonprofit Guttmacher Institute, speculates that the growing number of glamorous celebrities bearing children — especially as single mothers — is having an impact on the attitudes of America’s youth.
(Article contributed to AOL by Katie Drummond)

June 3, 2010 Posted by | Community, Cultural, Family Issues, Health Issues, Living Conditions, Mating Behavior, News, Values, Women's Issues | 4 Comments

Mongolian Porn

Today as I was emptying my spam folder, I glanced through and saw that one encouraged us to visit a site specializing in Mongolian Porn.

Somehow, that totally cracks me up. Porn is pathetic and laughable enough as it is, but . . . Mongolian porn? I cannot imagine . . .

Maybe they yak a lot?

May 27, 2010 Posted by | Humor, Mating Behavior, Social Issues, Spiritual, Women's Issues | 7 Comments

Saudi Woman Attacks Muttawa

I found this on AOL News

“People are fed up with these religious police, and now they have to pay the price for the humiliation they put people through for years and years,” she was quoted as saying. “This is just the beginning and there will be more resistance.”

(May 18) — An angry young Saudi Arabian woman has left her mark on a religious policeman who approached her for illegally socializing with an unmarried young man.

According to the Saudi daily Okaz, the woman strongly objected to the policeman’s interference and repeatedly punched him so hard that he ended up in the hospital with bruises to his face and body.

The couple, believed to be in their 20s, were strolling through an amusement park in the city of Al-Mubarraz when the policeman asked them to confirm their relationship to one another.

Hasan Jamali, AP
In Saudi Arabia, women aren’t allowed to drive or to appear in public without a male guardian.
For unknown reasons, the man collapsed while being questioned, and the woman jumped in with fists flying, Okaz reported, according to arabianbusiness.com.

No statement on the incident has so far been made by the religious police – formally titled the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice – or by the regular police, the Arab site and The Jerusalem Post reported.

If the unidentified woman is charged she could face a long prison term, as well as body lashes.

“To see resistance from a woman means a lot,” Wajiha Al-Huwaidar, a Saudi women’s rights activist, told The Media Line News Agency, The Post reported.

“People are fed up with these religious police, and now they have to pay the price for the humiliation they put people through for years and years,” she was quoted as saying. “This is just the beginning and there will be more resistance.”

“The media and the Internet have given people a lot of power and the freedom to express their anger,” she added. Whatever the religious police do ends up all over the Internet, she said, which gives them “a horrible reputation and gives people power to react.”

Under Saudi law, women are not allowed to drive, be seen in public without a male guardian and socialize with unrelated men.

A decision to open the country’s first co-educational university last year was strongly criticized by a senior Saudi cleric, who was then fired by King Abdullah, The Post reported.

May 18, 2010 Posted by | Bureaucracy, Character, Civility, Community, Crime, Cultural, Family Issues, Friends & Friendship, Living Conditions, Mating Behavior, Relationships, Saudi Arabia, Social Issues, Women's Issues | 9 Comments

Señor Driving

You get a reduction on your insurance rates if you take the safe driving classes for seniors. AdventureMan still isn’t all that comfortable with being a senior, so he calls himself “señor,” which is ‘Mister’ in Spanish. He tells people we are taking “señor” driving classes, and everyone looks at him like he is a little nuts.

Well. . . he is, actually. More than just a little. And now he has the time and energy to be a full time nut, and more power to him.

The “señor” driving classes were actually all right. We learned some things we didn’t know, and we met some interesting people, one, a retired New York fireman, and his wife, a retired nurse. They invited us to go eat seafood after class, and we learned all kinds of things.

On our way back from the ladies room, his wife leaned over to me and whispered “Is he helping you?” I laughed. I knew what she meant. “Yes!” I whispered back, “So far, so good!”

Living in Kuwait and in Qatar, most of the people were younger than us. Countries with all kinds of imported labor put upper limits on workers, so they don’t have a lot of old guys kicking the bucket in their countries. You can get exceptions to the rules in certain jobs, and we had a lot of good friends around our ages, thank God, but here in Pensacola, we feel like YOUNG older people – there are so many older people, and so much to learn. They are all really good about sharing their tricks for survival, and we find that keeping our ears open is a good thing.

April 29, 2010 Posted by | Aging, Cultural, Education, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Friends & Friendship, Kuwait, Law and Order, Living Conditions, Local Lore, Pensacola, Qatar, Social Issues, Women's Issues | 5 Comments

Crabs on Pensacola Beach

We love seafood, and after hiking around on Ft. Pickens, we were ready for a late lunch. We did something we rarely do, we deliberately chose a very touristy restaurant surrounded by people on Spring break, lots of college kids, lots of high school kids, lots of parents with very young kids, maybe the elementary schools are also having Spring Break, but also – it’s Saturday.

And it is gorgeous on Pensacola Beach, temperatures in the low 80’s (F), a nice breeze, some fluffy clouds now and then, and the Crabs looks like just the right place. It is huge. It says it can take ‘large parties’ and it looks like it has seen a large party or two.

They have a huge sign. It says “We’ve got CRABS!”

It is right on the beach. It has several levels, and I am guessing, based solely on my observations of the demographics, that young things in swimming suits, couples, and people with small children get seated on the beach level and people wearing clothes (us) are seated one floor up. That’s fine with us, by the way, we got this gorgeous table with a view that goes on forever, overlooking the entire beach scene.

We also decided we’ve lived in the Middle East too long. We keep thinking those women need to put on some more clothes! And they ask us if we are missionaries! Think maybe my skirts are a little too long?

There was a huge crowd. Service was very friendly, but SLOW. When our food came . . . we were so hungry. I forgot to take photos. We were half way through when I remembered . . . 😦

This is what half of Crabs Shrimp and Fish dish looked like:

This is what AdventureMan’s Southern Mixed Seafood looked like:

We have so much left over that we are having it for dinner tonight!

April 13, 2010 Posted by | Cultural, Customer Service, Eating Out, Entertainment, ExPat Life, Florida, Food, Humor, Living Conditions, Local Lore, Mating Behavior, Pensacola, Values, Women's Issues | 6 Comments

Rapist Given Reduced Sentence

This is from the Gulf Times Court RoundUp

Life sentence commuted

A Doha appeals court has commuted to five-year imprisonment the life sentence given to a local teenager, who was convicted of raping a Sri Lankan housemaid.

Two Sri Lankan men in their late 20s were sentenced in absentia by a Doha court of first instance to 15 years imprisonment for helping the accused to perpetrate the crime.

The court heard that the two Sri Lankan accomplices who worked in a car washing facility told the main accused about the woman.

The rape took place soon after midnight on August 14, 2007.

According to the chargesheet, the main accused impersonated as a policeman and dragged the victim to his car, before they drove to a remote area.

“The two accomplices were paid money for their help and they left the car leaving the teenager with the 25-year old maid alone in a remote area.”

The court heard that the woman was too weak to resist the rapist, which was why no trace of violence was visible on her body.

“I shouted for help but in vain,” she said.

Explaining the commutation of the sentence, the court said that it took into consideration the young age of the convict and his clean record.

OK. So two Sri Lankan men tell a ‘local’ man about an Ethiopian house maid, and they plot to kidnap her, take her far out into the desert and to rape her.

Their plot succeeds, only somehow, they are identified and actually brought to trial.

The two Sri Lankans escape, and are convicted in their absence. The ‘local’ man is given a life time sentence. But wait! His sentence is commuted to five years because of his youth and clean record?

If I were a Qatteri father, I would want to know this man’s name. I would not want a man marrying my daughter who had a history of kidnapping a woman and raping her against her will way out in the desert. This man may be young, but he has already shown himself capable of doing something hugely WRONG, according to his own culture, and the law of the country. He plotted. He went to the trouble of impersonating a policeman to intimidate her into his car. He took her to a place where there would be no help for her, and she endured a terrifying experience, an experience she did not know she would live through, and an experience which will haunt her life and make her feel unsafe forever.

And this unnamed ‘local’ teenager gets five years in prison. Here is a good example of where a female judge might make a substantial difference in delivering justice for the Ethiopian housemaid.

March 14, 2010 Posted by | Crime, Doha, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Financial Issues, Interconnected, Law and Order, Living Conditions, Mating Behavior, Qatar, Women's Issues | 6 Comments