Great Blonde Joke
A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a “handy-woman” and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.
“Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch,” he said, “How much will you charge me?”
The blonde quickly responded, “How about $50?”
The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need was in the garage.
The man’s wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, “Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?”
He responded, “That’s a bit cynical, isn’t it?”
The wife replied, “You’re right. I guess I’m starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes we’ve been getting by e-mail lately.”
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
“You’re finished already?” the husband asked.
“Yes,” the blonde replied, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.”
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her……
“And by the way,” the blonde added, “it’s not a Porch, it’s a Lexus.”
“How’s That Working For You?”
I love watching language shift and segue like the waves at sea. One moment there will be a gust of adjectives (“cool” “hot!” “baaaadddd!” “fly”) and another there will be typhoon of localisms, like the Valley Gal phenomenon, and from time time time, apparently quiet times. If you are watching closely, however, you will see the waters twitch and a new word or phrase surface, create a few ripples, and then most of the time, fade away.
“How’s that working for you?” is a phrase that doesn’t mean what it seems to mean. Yes, it is a very neutral way of asking how a person is doing.
Underneath, however, it implies disbelief.
Language is so subtle. It’s one of the reasons I will never be fluent in French, or German, or Arabic – I can skim the surface, I can even dive beneath the surface, but there are depths that you have to be a native to plumb.
“How’s that working for you?” keeps the conversation going when an addict defends his addiction.
“How’s that working for you?” keeps the door open when your daughter defends an inappropriate relationship.
“How’s that working for you?” is the response to someone with big talk of big dreams who never gets organized enough to put the dreams into action, but wants credit, although nothing was accomplished.
“How’s that working for you?” is a compassionate response to someone who is lying to herself about an important issue and you don’t want to burst her balloon.
Most people ask the question when there are clear signs that it is NOT working. It returns the ball the the court of the person who needs to deal with the problem.
A person who is not willing to face the problem will respond “Great!” The appropriate response to “great” is “Glad to hear it!”
(“Glad to hear it!” used in this context means “I don’t believe a word of it.”)
If someone asks you “how’s that working for you?” they have sent you a signal that it’s time to re-examine what you’re doing.
Catbird Seat
Last week, I wrote a post on Cat’s Paw from A Word a Day, and today they sent me this one. The theme this week is words and phrases which refer to birds, and I have always wondered about the catbird seat. You hear it used in political journals more than anywhere else.
If you subscribe to A Word a Day they send you a fresh word every day, with a definition, they show how it is used in a sentence, and you can click on a link to hear it pronounced. I’ve been a member for over ten years now, and they are still surprising me with new words.
catbird seat (KAT-burd seet) noun
A position of power and advantage.
[A catbird (named after its catlike call) is known to build a pile
of rocks to attract a mate and sit on the highest point around. This
expression was often used by Brooklyn Dodgers baseball commentator
Red Barber and further popularized by the author James Thurber in his
story “The Catbird Seat” where a character often utters trite phrases,
including the expression “sitting in the catbird seat”.]
-Anu Garg (words at wordsmith.org)
“So, Stillking Films seems perched in the catbird seat. ‘Things
are going very well for us at the moment,’ David Minkowski says.”
Steffen Silvis; Stillking is Still King; The Prague Post
(Czech Republic); Apr 5, 2007.
Big Girl Pants
I got an email this morning from a friend who learned I have taken on a leadership challenge.
“I could never do that. . .” she said.
She gave me a good laugh. We organized a group together, starting from scratch, in a previous life, and she was one of the very first to step up to the plate, to volunteer for a job I considered burdensome, but she has done it well for over three years now.
I grew up around the military. There were always these older women around, really together women, women who organized things, women who managed, women who were leaders. They were also totally intimidating women, and behind their backs we called them the “tough old birds,” not without admiration.
The turning point came for me in my early thirties, when I saw a job that needed doing, and I knew I could do it at least as well as it was being done, and probably better. I knew I had a lot of resources available to help me do the job, just needed some organizing. I took the project, did the job, and it all worked out great. I was not yet a tough old bird, but I knew I was now playing with the big girls.
The phrase I keep coming across now is “put on your big girl panties,” some add “and deal with it.” I’ve seen it in a couple ads, and in more than a couple blogs . . . it seems to be a phrase of the day. (Google it – you’ll see what I mean.) It means dealing with an situation that needs to be handled, even if unpleasant, even if you don’t want to. It means taking responsibility. It can mean you’ve taken a hit and have to keep going. Most of all, it means you’re at a higher level of performance than before, and you need to meet a new standard. I think it’s a hoot.
(It originates in toilet training, when a toddler goes from diapers to cloth pants, called “big-boy pants/ big-girl panties” and it means literally, you are now expected not to have any accidents, but to use the facilities just as big boys and big girls do.)
The elastic on my big girl panties is giving out. I’ve been wearing them for a while now. I have probably now reached the age when women are calling me tough old bird behind my back. When did that happen?
To all my faithful friends out there, friends who have been my friends for years and tens of years (you know who you are) I am proud of you, and more thankful for you that I can express. Aren’t there days when we wish we weren’t big girls? Aren’t there days when we just want to run and hide, and not take those responsibilities? Aren’t there times when you want to say “no! I can’t do that!”? You’ve helped me through all those days.
Thanks to your love and support, putting on big-girl panties hasn’t been so bad. And we’ve had a lot of laughs along the way. Thanks for being along for the ride.
Stormy Petrel
The following is from WordaDay, to which I subscribe, and which often delights me with words and meanings I have never known. Today’s is so particularly good, I will share this website again. You can see it on my blogroll to the right, and you can subscribe also by copying and pasting the address from the e-mail below.
Starts here:
Birds get little respect. We tend to look down at non-human animals in
general, but we are particularly unfair when it comes to birds (although
we have to look up at them).
We call a stupid fellow a “bird brain”. Australians call him a galah
(a type of cockatoo). Something useless is said to be “for the birds”. We
name someone vain and self-conscious a peacock. One who is talkative or a
hoarder is labeled a magpie. A cowardly or fearful fellow is a chicken…
the list is endless.
We even kill two birds with one stone. I’d rather the idiom be to feed two
birds with one grain.
This week we feature five terms coined after birds. Catch as many of these
bird words as you can. After all, a word in the head is worth two in the book.
stormy petrel (STOR-mee PE-truhl) noun
1. Any of various small sea birds of the family Hydrobatidae
having dark feathers and lighter underparts, also known as
Mother Carey’s Chicken.
2. One who brings trouble or whose appearance is a sign of coming trouble.
[The birds got the name storm petrel or stormy petrel because old-time
sailors believed their appearance foreshadowed a storm.
It’s not certain why the bird is named petrel. One unsubstantiated theory
is that it is named after St Peter who walked on water in the Gospel of
Matthew. The petrel’s habit of flying low over water with legs extended
gives the appearance that it’s walking on the water.]
Today’s word in Visual Thesaurus: http://visualthesaurus.com/?w1=stormy+petrel
-Anu Garg (words at wordsmith.org)
“A colourful stormy petrel of the Conservative Party, Anthony
Beaumont-Dark frequently found himself at odds with the party
line in the Commons, and was well known for expressing his dissent
in memorably quotable form.”
Obituary: Sir Anthony Beaumont-Dark; The Times (London, UK); Apr 4, 2006.
………………………………………………………………….
In some circumstances, the refusal to be defeated is a refusal to be
educated. -Margaret Halsey, novelist (1910-1997)
Discuss this week’s words on our bulletin board: http://wordsmith.org/board
Remove, change address, gift subs: http://wordsmith.org/awad/subscriber.html
Pronunciation:
http://wordsmith.org/words/stormy_petrel.ram
Qatteri Cat’s Paw
The Qatteri Cat has some desert cat in him, or so the vet says. She says this on the basis of his very very hairy ears, the better to keep sand out, and his very hairy paws. His paws crack me up – desert cats have hairy paws so that they can walk on hot sand without burning their feet.
There is another meaning to cat’s paw than the literal meaning. When a person is referred to as a cat’s paw, it means that person is acting, knowingly or unknowingly, to do the will of another person. Here is what answers.com says about the term cat’s paw:
cat’s-paw also cats·paw (kăts’pô’)
n., pl. cat’s-paws also cats·paws.
A person used by another as a dupe or tool.
A light breeze that ruffles small areas of a water surface.
Nautical. A knot made by twisting a section of rope to form two adjacent eyes through which a hook is passed, used in hoisting.
cat’s paw
A dupe or tool for another, a sucker, as in You always try to make a cat’s paw of me, but I refuse to do any more of your work. This term alludes to a very old tale about a monkey that persuades a cat to pull chestnuts out of the fire so as to avoid burning its own paws. The story dates from the 16th century and versions of it (some with a dog) exist in many languages.
I know that some of you out there in etherworld share my love of words and phrases, and of knowing their origin. This is for you! 🙂
A Beautiful Apology
Gere apologises over Shetty kiss
The kiss:
Actor Richard Gere has apologised for causing offence when he kissed Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty.
The incident, at an Aids awareness event in Delhi, prompted public protests and then an arrest warrant for both stars over the “obscene act”.
Gere, 57, said he had misread Indian customs and that he regretted any problems he had caused Shetty.
You can read the whole story here, at BBC News.
I am guessing both Gere and Shetty got a lot of mileage out of the storm of publicity from his onstage behavior, and now he has graciously and sincerely apologized. Pardon my cynicism, but he has been in India before, I would think he would have been more sensitive.
Nonetheless, he made a beautiful apology. And I wonder why politicians don’t do the same? Why, when you realize you have stepped on someone’s toes, don’t you just make a full and gracious apology? No, it doesn’t change what has happened, but it can sometimes calm the troubled waters.
What if the Danish papers had made a full and gracious apology for publishing the cartoons of the Prophet Mohammed? It would not have changed the fact that they had been published, but it would not have hurt to acknowledge that they had hurt the sensitivities of a large portion of the world, and to apologize for the offence.
Senior Citizens in Kuwait Taking Hospital Beds?
Tacked on to another article in yesterday’s Kuwait Times was this tiny bit of news, with much larger social implications:
“In other news, sources revealed that senior citizens have changed the rooms of public hospitals into old aged homes due to the low fees that are imposed on reserving a room at the hospital.
The rooms at public hospitals are worth KD 1 per day, and if the patient stays for two months, then he will pay only 500 fils per day.
Effective measures must be adopted by the Ministry of Health such as giving a determined time for each patient in order to enable hospitals to receive other patients.”
In a related article several months ago, a article in the same newspaper said that the hospitals were overrun with old people because people couldn’t take care of them at home, and it was much less shameful to say “my Mother is in the hospital” than to say “my mother is in a home for old people.”
It sounds to me like the solution is for the Kuwait government to open a state of the art “hospital” specializing in Gerontology, which in reality would be a retirement center for people unable to take care of their own physical needs, and whose families cannot meet their needs (believe me, after my father’s lengthy and debilitating illness, I know there is only so much a family can do), and they can still say that their parent(s) are in a hospital.
It would meet the need of “hospitalization,” would provide the older people with the intensive and personal services that they need, and would free the beds in traditional hospitals for the seriously ill and damaged citizens.
It’s only words.
Adventure Man’s Blog
“If I had a blog, I’d blog about this!” Adventure Man gasped as I held my hand over my mouth in shock.
That is, between whoops of laughter.
Adventure Man asked me if we were going to be on the flight out of Kuwait on which we had been booked. I had just talked with the KLM office in Dubai, seeking a little wasta, and I had been graciously but firmly turned down.
“We’re forked” I said, using a very vulgar word instead of ‘fork.’
“I thought you gave up saying any of those words for Lent?” he hooted.
“No, my goal was no swearing on the roads!” I countered.
And he just gave me that long look that said it all. It said “hypocrite.” It said “I think you’re missing an important point.” It said “bad words are bad words no matter where you use them.”
Adventure Man can get a lot of meaning into one long look. We’ve been married for a long time. He gets the same look from me now and then, the long look.
He had me; he was right, I was wrong.
I started snickering. He started hooting. I laughed out loud. He laughed louder. Soon I was writhing on the floor and he was gasping for breath. It’s good to laugh like that every now and then.
And he’s right. It’s not just on the road. Bad language is bad language and I want to clean up the entire act. I am really really glad Adventure Man doesn’t have his own blog.
“Woh ist der bahnhof?” Revisited
Today, in the co-op I was looking for toilet paper, because we were perilously low. In the diaper section I found three women workers (when did women start working in the co-ops? I really like it!) who wanted to help.
“Ana ashuf . . .” I started off (I am looking for) but I don’t know how to say toilet paper, so I said “toilet paper”.
Blank faces. I’m trying to think of a way to say it in Arabic, roundabout, but all I can say, weakly is to repeat “toilet paper”.
Blank faces. But kind, patient, so I say it again.
The light goes on.
“Ah! Toi LET paper!” she says, with the accent on the second syllable.
“Yes!” I say, as she leads me there, continuing to correct me: “Toi LET paper, Toi LET paper.”
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