“Mind Your Own Business”
You can be married for a long time and still be surprised. 🙂
I was thinking about other cultures, and then I thought about growing up in Alaska. Alaska is one of those kind of end-of-the-line places. Maybe it’s changed, but except for the native Americans, most people had come from somewhere else. Very few were second generation.
People at end-of-the-line places often have backstories they don’t want to talk about – bad divorces, or worse – bad marriage – Â no divorce, criminal records, or a million other situations they don’t want to talk about. From an early age, you learn not to ask. There were also a lot of laconic Scandinavians around; they talk about fishing and hunting but are seriously tongue-tied if asked a personal question. So again – you learn not to ask.
“Mind your own business,” I can remember my own mother saying, so I thought it was a rule. “Don’t be a Nosey-Parker.”
All my life I thought that was the rule. It was the way I was raised. Every now and then that curtain of pre-conceptions parts and a light gleams through. I was thinking about other cultures and it occurred to me to ask AdventureMan if he grew up with the same rule.
He just laughed. Â He looked at me in utter amazement, and laughed.
“I grew up in a town of 3,000,” he laughed, “and some of those were relatives, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins – everyone knew everything!”
“There’s no such thing as ‘mind your own business’ when your entire life is known by every single person in town!”
He hooted with laughter at the very thought.
“Everyone knew everything!” he repeated.
It’s expat world right here in my own house. This is a whole new way of thinking about things. I’ve always thought personal privacy was sort of universal, but not so.
One of the many times we lived in Germany, we lived in a small village where people told us everything. It was amazing, a whole different world, being on the inside, but not really being a part of it all. People seemed to feel we needed to be filled-in. One family didn’t speak to another family in the village, and it was awkward, because there were only like 300 people in the village, but many years ago someone’s grandmother had a terrible disagreement with the other family’s grandmother and no one in the families speak to one another now, even though no one can remember the reason.
I’ve escaped a lot of that being an expat, not sticking around longer than five years max, not long enough to develop a reputation you can’t shake. 🙂 But it makes me wonder if things are looser these days, if you can grow and change and be allowed to outlive your mistakes in small places where everything is everyone’s business . . .
Where is Umzimvubu, South Africa?
Today we pray for the Diocese of Umzimvubu, in South Africa:
Matthew 5: 44-46
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Where Are Dioceses of Ukwa and Umuahia (Aba, Nigeria)?
Every day our church prays for a different part of the world. Today it is Ukwa and Umuahia in Aba, Nigeria. Â I had to look it up:
A Minor Miracle
A couple years ago, when I was at the dermatologist (and if you have lived under the hot strong sun in the Middle East, you might want to have an annual skin-scan, too) she asked “anything else?” and I wailed “What is happening to my skin??”
I’ve always had good skin. All of a sudden, I felt like the Portrait of Dorian Grey, like all my secret sins were catching up with me and manifesting on my skin. You could see my pores! I was getting little brown spots. I am not an abnormally vain woman, but I will admit that the sight of my skin going bad overnight was a staggering blow.
She laughed. “I have a magic potion that will keep your skin looking pretty good,” she said, and wrote me my first prescription for Retin-A.
It’s not a fountain of youth. It’s not like it gives me the face I had in my twenties and thirties, even into my forties. But it holds those brown spots at bay, gives my skin light and sparkle again, and tightens up those pores. I don’t know how it does it, I don’t care. It’s a little bit of magic and helps me handle the inevitability of the aging process.
She also gave me a coupon that made it less expensive. Still, I gasped the first time I went to buy it, and neither of my health insurances covered it. A little goes a long way, so I’ve only had to renew the prescription twice.
This last time, when I walked in to the pharmacist, I asked the cost first. He told me that for the name brand it would be eight hundred something and for the generic it would be five hundred something.
You could feed an African village for a year with five hundred dollars. I couldn’t do it. I walked away. I spent a week in stunned disbelief, then went online and found a coupon that promised a sizable discount.
When I went back to the pharmacy yesterday, they said the coupon wouldn’t discount much, but this time the girl took the initiative to check my insurance and said “the coupon doesn’t help, but did you know that your insurance will pay for all but $5. if you take the generic?”
“There must be some mistake,” I thought to myself. My insurance has never covered this before.
“Are you sure?” I asked her, not really wanting to, wanting to hand her five dollars and run out the door, but also knowing that if it were a mistake, that the pharmacy would be stuck holding the bag.
“Yes, ” she responded, “I’m sure. Only thing is, you’ll have to come back tomorrow to pick it up, we don’t have it in stock.”
Oh ye of little faith . . .
This morning, still thinking they have made a mistake, I called to ask if it had arrived, not wanting to make a trip in vain. The pharmacist left me on hold a long time and I just knew something was not right. I knew it couldn’t be this good. You don’t get a $500.+ medication for $5.
Then he came back on the line. “It’s in,” he said, “Come and get it!”
I feel so blessed. I’m aging, my skin is aging, and the Lord is merciful on me, a sinner. He allows me a small vanity, caring for my skin, and for only $5. I still can’t figure out if this is the new Obamacare or some Medicare benefit, or a prescription benefit change. I don’t even want to investigate, I am so grateful for this mercy.
And no. I would not have been able to justify it at $800. Or even justify it at $500. There is just so much need in the world for the basics, for food and shelter and clothing for the poor. But $5? For me, it is a minor miracle.
Happy Islamic New Year
My good friend and commenter, Daggero, left this comment for us yesterday announcing the new Islamic year:
For your information yesterday we entered the Islamic year 1435 Hijri ( hijri = immigration ) which marks the year the prophet Muhammad peace be upon him, emigrated after 13 years of calling people to Islam from Mecca to Medina, ( where he is burried in his Mosque , Masjid an Nabawi, the second holliest mosque in Islam after the Mecca )
So total Islam time from begining to now is 1448 years, and on this auspicious occasion i wish you , AdventureMan and your family and the little ones a happy and a blessed New Islamic year.
Â
We wish you the same, Daggero, and I smiled as I read that you discussed the topic we were discussing with your daughter on the drive to school in the morning. I remember those days so well, as young people begin to draw off into their own lives and the time we spend with them in cars can be so precious. Happy New Year to you and your family.
We had a friend from Libya whose family name meant “from Madina;” before we had ever lived in any Middle East country, he had told us a little about Madina, and what a beautiful city it is. The mosque is very beautiful. I think the tradition is that green was the prophet Mohammed’s favorite color?
Happy New Year, too, to all our Moslem friends.
“Another Word for Babies is Insects”
One of the great wonderful things that has happened with living in Pensacola is that I get to spend a lot of time with my two little grandchildren, one of whom is two months old and just loves to be held, and one of whom is three years old and loves to talk.
I adore them both, but the three year old is so much more interesting, as he can talk and express himself and I love the way a three year old thinks.
We talk a lot. The other day we were talking about breaking things like arms – he had just broken his arm in two places and got a 1 (needs improvement) on “uses playground equipment safely” LOL. I had just told him how my sister broke both of her arms, not at the same time, and how we had each broken a leg skiing.
“You know, Shisha, you’re a lot like a boy,” he said to me, and I knew it was a compliment but I couldn’t help laughing.
“Why do you say that?” I asked, and got some evasive answer – even a three year old has a sense of when a thought might be out of the ordinary.
This week, though, he really gave me a good laugh when he came running in and showed me his weekly sheet, with green happy faces (that is a very good thing) and a photo of himself as a baby.
“Another word for babies is ‘insects!'” he announced, and I couldn’t help it, I laughed.
“No! No! It’s ‘infants!'” I said, and made him watch my lips as I said it because it’s one of those words where we kind of cut off the t at the end, and he got it right. I laughed, knowing it must be “I” week at his school and how very cool is it that they are teaching three year olds such words as “infant” and “Insect” and so what if it takes a little while to get them all straight, just hearing them and seeing them applied is such a good thing.
Expat Teacher Murdered In Qatar After Night of Clubbing?
Qatar expats shocked after UK teacher’s suspected murder
By Yolande KnellBBC News, Doha, Qatar
Lauren Patterson had gone to a nightclub with a friend before she went missingThe suspected murder of a young primary school teacher from south-east London has deeply upset British expatriates living in the Gulf state of Qatar.
However, two weeks after Lauren Patterson disappeared following a night out in the capital, Doha, officials have given few details about her disappearance.
DNA tests have been carried out on the remains of a body found in a remote area of desert but the results have not yet been released.
At the Newton British School, where Ms Patterson worked, one mother paid tribute to a talented teacher who she said had been a favourite of her little son.
However, staff refused to comment, saying they had been advised not to.
“We’re a small, close-knit community and we’re all in deep shock,” explained headteacher Katherine Dixon. “We are dealing with small children here.”
Security camerasWhen 24-year-old Ms Patterson went out on 11 October she had just returned from a trip home to the UK for her grandmother’s funeral.
She and a female friend decided to go to Club 7 on the seventh floor of the luxury La Cigale Hotel.
It is a popular venue where all nationalities mingle on the dance floor as DJs play ambient house music.
Groups sip cocktails around low tables decorated with colourful, illuminated ice buckets.
Everyone entering the club has their ID checked and they are watched by burly bouncers and security cameras.
It is believed that in the early hours of the morning, the two women left with two local men they knew who had offered to drive them home.
Ms Patterson’s companion was dropped off safely but she went missing.
The alarm was raised by her friend who called the police the next day.
Arrests
Reports say a falconer found a badly burnt corpse shortly afterwards. Two suspects were detained although no details about them have been confirmed.
Public prosecutor Mohammed Rashed al-Binali says violent crime is “very rare” in QatarThe case has been referred to the attorney general.
“Violent crime is very rare in Qatar,” public prosecutor, Mohammed Rashed al-Binali told me in his smart office surrounded by shining skyscrapers in central Doha.
“We are continuing to investigate the case. We cannot give more details at the moment but the Ministry of Interior did arrest the suspects within 24 hours.”
Alison Patterson has flown to Doha and is awaiting further news about her daughter.
She told the BBC she would only make a statement “when I feel the time is right and I have received all the information concerning Lauren”.
Meanwhile, the British Foreign Office says it is providing the family with consular assistance.
Qatar, which will host the 2022 World Cup, is generally considered one of the safest places in the Middle East for Westerners.
The tiny, but very wealthy Gulf state, which is the biggest exporter of natural gas in the world, relies heavily on its growing foreign workforce.
It now has some 17,500 British residents. Most are attracted by the high living standards and high tax-free salaries.
Yet work permits can be easily revoked and this makes employees from overseas very wary of upsetting the authorities.
While Qatar has recently supported opposition movements pushing for greater freedom across the Arab world, the nation itself remains very conservative and tightly controlled.
Rare Hybrid Eclipse Visible This Weekend
The cosmos have saved a special treat for the final eclipse of 2013.
On Sunday, Nov. 3, a “hybrid” solar eclipse will be visible from the eastern coast of North America to Europe all the way to parts of Africa and the Middle East, according to an EarthSky.com report. The eclipse will begin over North America at sunrise and will move east through sunset on Sunday evening.
This eclipse is known as a hybrid because it will start as an annular eclipse before the Moon’s orbit gets close enough to Earth to become a total eclipse, reports Universe Today. Of the nearly 12,000 solar eclipses that have occurred since 1999 BC, fewer than five percent are hybrid eclipses, the report also states.
You can see an animated image of the eclipse’s shadow below.
Credit: NASA/Goddard Space Flight Center
According to the Washington Post, Washington, D.C. residents can expect to see the annular eclipse begin at 6:38 a.m. and will last for about 30 minutes. Areas to the east can expect the eclipse to last a few more minutes, and they will see slightly more of the sun’s area covered by the annular eclipse.
As for the solar eclipse, only the easternmost points of North America will briefly see it, which excludes all of the United States.
Also, remember to turn back your clocks on Saturday night with Daylight Saving Time ending early Sunday morning, before the eclipse begins, to ensure you don’t miss the celestial event.
This will be 2013’s fifth eclipse overall and the second solar eclipse of the year, Universe Today says.
Saudi Women Drive, No Problem
For your delight of the day, please go to YouTube and watch this hilarious Saudi video, No Woman, No Drive! Click on the blue type above 🙂
From The Guardian:
Dozens of Saudi Arabian women drive cars on day
of protest against ban
-
Staff and agencies
- theguardian.com, Saturday 26 October 2013 12.03 EDT
Activists say at least 60 joined call to allow female drivers – making it country’s biggest ever demonstration against the ban
More than 60 Saudi women got behind the wheels of their cars as part of a protest against a ban on women driving in the kingdom, activists have claimed.
A Saudi professor and campaigner, Aziza Youssef, said the activists have received 13 videos and another 50 phone messages from women showing or claiming they had driven, the Associated Press reported.
She said it had not been not possible to verify all of the messages. But, if the numbers are accurate, they would make Saturday’s demonstration the biggest the country has ever seen against the ban.
Despite warnings by police and ultraconservatives in Saudi Arabia, there have been no reports from those who claimed to have driven of being arrested or ticketed by police.
A video clip of a protest by May al-Sawyan, a 32-year-old economics researcher and mother of two, was uploaded on the YouTube channel of the October 26 driving for women group, along with several other videos of women purportedly driving in defiance of the ban in Riyadh, al-Ahsa and Jeddah. It was not possible to verify when they were filmed. Another video to feature on YouTube was the spoof No Woman, No Drive.
“I am very happy and proud that there was no reaction against me,” she told AP. “There were some cars that drove by. They were surprised, but it was just a glance. It is fine. They are not used to seeing women driving here.”
Sawyan said she had obtained a driver’s licence from abroad. She said she was prepared for the risk of detention if caught but added that she was far enough from a police car that she was not spotted.
“I just took a small loop. I didn’t drive for a long way, but it was fine. I went to the grocery store,” she said.
Her husband and family waited at home and called her when she arrived at the shop to check on her, she said. She drove with a local female television reporter in the car. They were both without male relatives in the vehicle.
“I know of several women who drove earlier today. We will post videos later,” one of the campaign organisers told Reuters.
The Associated Press reported that a security official said authorities did not arrest or fine any female drivers on Saturday.
Youssef said she and four other prominent women activists received phone calls this week from a top official with close links to Interior Minister Prince Mohammed bin Nayef, warning them not to drive on Saturday, the day the campaign set for women’s driving.
She also said that “two suspicious cars” have been following her everywhere all day. “I don’t know from which party they are from. They are not in a government car,” she said.
Activists said they have 16,600 signatures on an online petition calling for change. Efforts to publicise the issue have been described as the best-organised social campaign ever seen in Saudi Arabia, where Twitter has millions of users and is used to circulate information about the monarchy and official corruption.
Previous attempts to promote change fizzled out in arrests for public order offences and demoralisation. In 2011, the activist Manal al-Sharif made a YouTube video urging women to drive their own cars, and was imprisoned for more than a week. But the signs are far more positive now.
Three female members of the shura (advisory) council – among 30 appointed by the 90-year-old King Abdullah – recommended this month that the ban be rescinded, though no debate has yet taken place.
Latifa al-Shaalan, Haya al-Mani and Muna al-Mashit urged the council to “recognise the rights of women to drive a car in accordance with the principles of sharia and traffic laws”.
The three – praised by supporters for “stirring the stagnant water” – framed their argument with careful references to religious edicts banning women from being in the company of an unrelated male driver. Other ideas designed to reassure critics are appointing female traffic police and driving instructors. Cost is another big factor, with families having to employ chauffeurs, as is convenience.
Though no specific Saudi law bans women from driving, women are not issued licenses. They mostly rely on drivers or male relatives to move around.
Powerful clerics who hold far-reaching influence over the monarchy enforce the driving ban, warning that breaking it will spread “licentiousness.” A prominent cleric caused a stir when he said last month that medical studies show that driving a car harms a woman’s ovaries.
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