Here There and Everywhere

Expat wanderer

If I Were . . .

I’m talking here about two subjects, a grammar issue and an emotional issue.

My friends think I am even-tempered and happy all the time. Here is the truth – no one is even-tempered and happy all the time. I am even-tempered and happy MOST of the time – but like everyone else, I have moods.

I have noticed that sometimes drinking too much coffee can set me spinning with anxiety, worrying about things for which there is honestly no substantial reason on earth for me to worry. Sometimes I can feel paranoid, and think maybe my phone isn’t ringing because all my friends are out having fun without me. Sometimes I can be tired, or hungry, or jet lagging, or hormonal. . . there are a million factors that have little to do with facts and reality, and everything to do with emotion.

When I catch myself having persistent, irrational, troublesome thoughts, I do a couple things. You know me, you can guess the first. I pray.

The second thing I do is to play a game with myself – “If I Were. . . ”

If I were normal and serene, how would I behave? What would I be thinking? Sometimes just by acting “as if”, I can break the mood. Putting on Christmas music or old Beatles or Rolling Stones is just about sure-fire. Reading a light-weight mystery can take me away. A hot bath with great smelling bubbles – something like Cinnamon Orange (Occitaine used to make it) or Lavender or even something lemony can cheer me up. Acting as if I were serene can bring me to serenity.

(Here is the second part – does anyone use the subjunctive tense any more? I was taught that if you are talking about something that is not-for-certain true, or doubtful, you use the subjunctive. I hear people saying “If I was” all the time and I think maybe it has become acceptable by common usage.

For example, above, I talk about “If I were serene . . .” meaning, I am NOT feeling serene, but can speculate as to how I would behave if I were serene. Is this tense, the subjunctive, still taught in English classes?)

October 5, 2008 Posted by | Communication, Cross Cultural, Language, Random Musings | , | 4 Comments