“How’s That Working For You?”
I love watching language shift and segue like the waves at sea. One moment there will be a gust of adjectives (“cool” “hot!” “baaaadddd!” “fly”) and another there will be typhoon of localisms, like the Valley Gal phenomenon, and from time time time, apparently quiet times. If you are watching closely, however, you will see the waters twitch and a new word or phrase surface, create a few ripples, and then most of the time, fade away.
“How’s that working for you?” is a phrase that doesn’t mean what it seems to mean. Yes, it is a very neutral way of asking how a person is doing.
Underneath, however, it implies disbelief.
Language is so subtle. It’s one of the reasons I will never be fluent in French, or German, or Arabic – I can skim the surface, I can even dive beneath the surface, but there are depths that you have to be a native to plumb.
“How’s that working for you?” keeps the conversation going when an addict defends his addiction.
“How’s that working for you?” keeps the door open when your daughter defends an inappropriate relationship.
“How’s that working for you?” is the response to someone with big talk of big dreams who never gets organized enough to put the dreams into action, but wants credit, although nothing was accomplished.
“How’s that working for you?” is a compassionate response to someone who is lying to herself about an important issue and you don’t want to burst her balloon.
Most people ask the question when there are clear signs that it is NOT working. It returns the ball the the court of the person who needs to deal with the problem.
A person who is not willing to face the problem will respond “Great!” The appropriate response to “great” is “Glad to hear it!”
(“Glad to hear it!” used in this context means “I don’t believe a word of it.”)
If someone asks you “how’s that working for you?” they have sent you a signal that it’s time to re-examine what you’re doing.
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Here There and Everywhere 
I actually have a very fond memory of this phrase.
Last fall I visited Med in Toronto for a weekend. I know her cat, Fares, very well – in fact, Fares and I were friends before Med and I were.
Fares really, really, really likes to cuddle, and is quite happy to sit ON the laptop on one’s lap. Med and I were sitting on the couch, each nerding away on a laptop, when Fares decided that it was time to snuggle up to my VAIO.
“No, Fares,” I said. “There isn’t enough room.”
Fares ignored me.
I continued to reason with him.
Med looked over, smiled, and asked:
“how’s that working for you?”
😀
interesting 😀
i love language *sighs and hugs her grammar books*
Little Diamond – I love your story! I remember your talking about Fares, and of course the Qatteri Cat asks about you often. I have a similar problem, he likes to curl up as close as he can get while I am typing. . . it’s NOT working for me, but it seems to be working for HIM!
SWAIR – you are welcome, welcome any old time. C’mon overm grab a cup of coffee, and we can debate whether the trend to end sentences with prepositions is a permanent thing or passing, and all kinds of word-nerd things!