Big Girls Don’t Cry?
Listening to SUPERSTATION 99.7 as I am working, I find myself exasperated, from time to time, by the lyrics to some of the songs.
Today, it is Big Girls Don’t Cry. I remember a totally different song with the same name from back a while ago, and actually I like this one better, because she talks about cutting it off and just moving on – and I agree. Sometimes you just have to cut your losses.
But I think big girls – and guys – do cry.
(Picasso’s Weeping Woman)
A researcher actually explored why we cry:
Frey investigated a question his mother had asked him: “Why is it that people cry tears?” He would pursue the answer, alongside his Alzheimer’s work, for many years. He took a scientific approach to her inquiry, and he discovered emotional tears were chemically different from other tears. That research resulted in interviews with People magazine, the Today Show, Good Morning America, and others, as well as a book, Crying: The Mystery of Tears (Harper and Row). “Perhaps the reason people feel better after crying is that they’re removing chemicals that build up during stress,” Frey suggests, adding that the question remains open to further research.
This is from a Washington University Alumni magazine.
I don’t know if there has been any further research on crying, but originally, I remember him stating that emotional tears carried away poisons that stress build in the body. It makes sense to me. I don’t cry all that often, but when I do, when I cry and it’s one of those blow-it-all-out cries, the kind that give you a headache if you carry on for too long – afterwards, you just feel wonderful!
And you wonder why you even let her/him/it assume so much importance in your life?
And you wonder “What was I thinking???”
Sometimes a good cry just puts everything back in proportion and you really CAN move on.
Or that’s how I see it. I don’t mean to go all drama-queen, I am just talking about a good old fashioned lock-yourself-in-the-bedroom-and-cry kind of cry.
But maybe you see it differently. I think big girls DO cry, and for good reasons, and then we move on. But this might be a cultural thing, and I am willing to entertain other ways of looking at it. What do YOU think?
11 Comments »
Leave a reply to noracassandra Cancel reply
Recent Comments
Catherine on Donna Leon Crossing Cultu… intlxpatr on Ignoring the Law thani on Ignoring the Law Anon. on British Soldier Kidnapped, Esc… Reeva Mills on Cahors to Bordeaux, Preparing… Wikipedia Donate Button
Amazina
Early Voting in Florida
Here There and Everywhere 
I totally agree with you, a nice long cry is a great way to vent without breaking vases and/or legs lol
it’s like closure and you get all that anger and frustration out!
i cry much too easily. for me, crying isn’t just because i’m sad; if i’m so angry but i can’t let it out, my tears will start rolling. i don’t mind when i’m crying in private, but i don’t like the fact that i’m so emotional to the point that i find it hard to control myself. i don’t necessarily feel better after crying, but i feel tired enough to sleep and then feel slightly better. 🙂
I don’t cry as often as I wish I do..
I still am an easy crier though (relatively speaking). I hate it when people say that it’s less manly to cry or see crying (for guys that is) as a sign of weakness. I think men should cry more often, less chance of getting a heart attack.
Good morning, Swair! I am betting you are busy setting up your classroom right about now. Have a great week!
Nylusmilk – My friend Skunk wrote a few days ago about the exhiliration of guns. I think a good cry helps keep us from getting out our guns!
You are right, Kinan, it is a very cultural thing, isn’t it? But even for a lot of gals, a good cry is a very private thing.
You know how, in the movies, the weepers always look lovely and romantic? Not me – my eyes get all puffy, my nose gets red, my cheeks look all blotchy – nope! I’ll take my cries in deepest privacy, thank you!
That’s what those giant moth-like sunglasses are for…you can cry all you want to even as you drive down 4th ring road and no one will be any wiser…
Of course the best bawl is in the privacy of one’s own room with no one around. Yes, there one can cry to one’s heart’s content!
Anyway, in the music video of Fergie’s song Big Girls Don’t Cry, the guy is so mamalicious with all those tattoos.
I do love Picasso’s work! He was a genius! Good choice!
About the crying matter! Strange but I cry when I’m so angry and mad and don’t cry easily when sad!
That is what I think they mean by bid girls don’t cry! We learn through out the years how to show that everything is ok even if we have a broken heart! But yes big girls and boys do cry, sometimes not because we want to we just can’t stop those tears! There is nothing wrong with crying! It’s a release of a huge load!
Lady J – Next time I need a good cry, I’m going to the Boudoir and let you show me all those music vids. Haven’t seen the Big Girls one, I’ll have to watch for it!
Noracassandra – I notice reading all the above comments that crying when you’re mad has come up several times.
I do, too!
I wasn’t allowed, ever, to talk back when I was little. So I just cried. I still do – I’m not very good at articulating when I am angry, so I just cry. And then later, I get mad at myself for crying, and not fighting back!
When I’m fighting or really arguing I cry! I hate it! And usually I keep telling the person I’m fighting to ignore the tears! Don’t care about the crying because I’m not! I just can’t do anything to stop the tears! So just be strong and let’s keep the fight! I had done and said that many times to my husband through the years! 😛
Noracassandra, when I was first married, I couldn’t fight, and I would just cry. My husband, thank God, who loved me dearly, would get frustrated and do both sides of the argument. Slowly, slowly, I learned how to argue with him.
Then, one day we had an arguement – maybe we had been married ten years – an I argued and held my own ground. At one point, he STOMPED his foot and said “Intlxpatr, I regret the day I ever taught you how to fight back!” and with that, we both started laughing and boom! The fight was over. Once he can get me laughing, I can’t fight anymore. And really, who wants to fight? I’d rather resolve issues peacefully, and it is usually possible where there is good will. Laughing together reminds us who we are and that we need to solve the problems together.
We hardly ever have fights anymore. 🙂
wow, i thought i’m one of the rare weirdos who cry when i’m mad, it’s nice to hear other people experiencing the same thing and knowing the difference between these cries. noracassandra, i cry when i fight too, which is why i always avoid fights if i can help it. 🙂