Rejected Suitor Rapes Kuwaiti Woman
Al Watan staff
KUWAIT: A young Kuwaiti woman has filed a case against a man who raped her after she rejected his marriage proposal. The woman explained that the young man who asked to marry her had been found out to be a liar. Among other things, he lied about his nationality, claiming to be Kuwaiti when he was not. He also claimed to have huge sums of money when in fact he was not as well off as he initially claimed. After being rejected, the man reportedly waited outside her house and kidnapped her as she walked towards her car. He then drove her to a remote area and raped her.
What incredible courage this young woman has going public. What backing she must have from her family. This is, unfortunately, not a rare occurance. What on earth are these men thinking? Is he trying to ruin her chances of marrying anyone else? Is this rape a punishment?
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I hope he gets Life in prison (NO Parole)! Then hopefully the guys in prison will do the same to him! That would be the perfect punishment… then he can rot in prison!
Don’t jump to conclusion, there might be another story to it.
Error – OK. I am having a hard time believing that, so help me out.
Here is how I see it. In Kuwait, a woman’s honor and a family’s honor places a lot of weight on her virginity. Why on earth would a woman go public, making a case against a man who had violated her honor?
My understanding is that even when you are the victim, there is a cruel streak in Kuwait society that damns HER, and finds her soiled. If that is true, why would she cry rape against a man she has rejected and her family has rejected?
because he is one sick bastard!
Funny I fail to see the word love in this article, what I read is the following:
he lied about his nationality, claiming to be Kuwaiti when he was not! so who gives a rats ass where he is from or love is only based on nationality?
He also claimed to have huge sums of money when in fact he was not as well off? Again whats love got to do with this.
You can not judge people just because she cries rape, until there is a DNA sample as clear evidence for one. As always we Arabs love to lynch people, read your comments send him to jail let him get raped how sick can you people be. lets prove beyond any doubts that he is a rapist. In islam you need 3 witnesses, or alternatively DNA. Other wise any gal can scream rape and the poor man gets his sorry ass in prison or deported.
Monsouli – I am not Kuwaiti, so I only know what my Kuwaiti friends tell me – that marriage is not about love, it is about families arranging mates who will most likely be suitable in terms of creating a family unit together – people from a similar background in terms of income, background and religious practices. When a union is well founded, love is expected to spark and grow – after the wedding. Is that about right as you see it?
So a man/ his family have made a proposal for a woman. They make claims, the family finds the claims fraudulent and rejects him as a suitable suitor. Right so far?
I don’t understand why a woman would claim rape under these circumstances, especially when it will harm her reputation, and force her to face accusations as you have just made.
Revolting.
And how easy many commentarors seem to gloss over the womans pain and suffering and focus on the other , minor, details of this case.
Women who get raped are scarred for life, and the punishment should reflect that suffering.
intlxpatr in regards to your comments “When a union is well founded, love is expected to spark and grow – after the wedding. Is that about right as you see it?” Do you really believe that? with 50% divorce rate in this country, I guess this theory is out of the window. (check danderma blog, beauty and the beast series)http://danderma.wordpress.com/
Again these are all speculations, I agree on why she would go public, maybe there are motives, however as long as there are no compelling evidence, again speculating, we can’t pass verdict, I simply don’t beleive the press here, thats my point.
Aafke, what puzzles me is how reluctant many commenters are to believe it really happened. I have a problem understanding why they think a woman would lie about something so personal, so humiliating, why she would expose herself to their opinions, even?
Monsouli – I am totally addicted to Danderma’s blog. 🙂 She has a way with the details, doesn’t she? I understand Kuwait’s recent divorce rate has jumped, well above 50% now, so yes, I take your point. It is a very small article, God willing, if they are making a case, there is ample evidence.
Even with DNA evidence, however, the man can claim consensual sex, and they often do. And when shown photos of her bruises and scrapes, they say “she likes rough sex.” Yeh. Right.
The 50% divorce rate is wrong and I saw it being addressed on TV a couple of months ago. Please let us not spread wrong information.
wow. the comments. interesting. Yousef’s right the 50% divorce rate is statistically not correct.
Rape isn’t about love or sex, rape is about power. She thought she was too good for him (if that’s the case), now she’s not.
And it goes on, a horrible evil crime has been committed against a woman, and still we get the despicable ”now she’s not good enough anymore”
I’m really fuming here!
No man has the right to violate a woman, no man who violates a woman can ever be better than that woman: such men are the dregs of humanity, and can be shot on sight as far as I am concerned!
This woman has had the courage to speak out she has just proven herself to be 100 times better than 80% of the men walking around on the planet! Sheesh! If men should be better than the women they marry 90% of the men would have to remain single!!!!!!!!
The callousness and disinterest shown here to the suffering of a woman who has been through the most horrible ordeal makes me sick!
You are so without feeling, compassion, empathy, and HONOUR; it makes me sick!
It is clear you have not the slightest idea what rape means to a woman, besides from the disgusting extra suffering society puts onto her! Several women I know have been raped, and not one has not suffered from it for years, if not actually murdered as well. It is high time rape is recognised for the horrible crime against humanity it is and punishment should equal that for murder.
Yousef – I’m sorry to tell you this. Here is from the Kuwait Times 24 Jul 2007. I don’t know where I read recently, but the statistics have soared even higher in the last year, maybe even into the 60%:
Divorce rate increasing in Kuwait
Published Date: July 24, 2007
KUWAIT: A recent report from the Ministry of Planning about divorce rates in Kuwait revealed that the rate of divorce among Kuwaiti citizens had increased up to 187 percent during the last 23 years. The report stressed that in 1982, there were only 994 divorce cases in Kuwait and now in 2005, there are 2,860 cases.
The report also said that the rate of divorce among Kuwaiti women to their foreign husbands had increased by 135 percent while the divorce rate among Kuwaiti husbands to their foreign wives increased only by 15 percent. According to statistics, Kuwait has one of the highest divorce rates in the world.
The report, which was prepared by Ministry of Planning researcher Athari Al-Bareedi, indicated that 60 percent of children of divorced parents suffer from psychological problems and bad childhoods given that they do not receive good care after their parents get divorced. Al-Bareedi also said that divorce was due to several factors such as different lifestyle choices, early marriages and family interference between the husband and wife.
There is a movement to institute a family court to “halve” divorce in Kuwait. How will they do it?
“Al-Mirshid said that there are some impediments to the success of the family courts, including a need to amend the current divorce legislation in order to compel women seeking a divorce to first resort to the reconciliation committee before filing for divorce.”
So compel WOMEN wanting a divorce to seek counseling and reconciliation. Nothing about men who take a second wife without consulting their first wife or getting her consent, nothing about abusive men, or men who gamble the family money in the stock markets, nothing about men who cheat or men who fail to provide.
i find the comments more shocking than the article.
The guy who was on TV addressing these stats said that people and even official newspapers are misinterpreting the stats. When they say it increased by 50% they do not mean to 50%, but “by” 50% in comparison with last year’s rate. The divorce rate may have increased over the last few years, but it’s no where near 50%.
Thats what I understood from that interview.
GE&B – I heard within the last month that there has been a surge in the divorce statistics, higher even than before. I have not seen it in writing, only whispered comments here and there from people who seem to know. I can’t claim to be one of the people who know, only one of the people who listen.
Aafke, WHOA! I understand your rage, but it is misdirected! GE&B was not saying SHE believed that, she was presenting what the man thought – that he would degrade his victim down to beneath his level. She got it right – rape is not about love or sex, it is about power and humiliation.
Skunk, dealing with rape is a mess. In the US, it is the #1 most falsely reported violent crime. Any woman who claims rape but was not raped makes life double difficult for the genuine victims.
Rape is hard to prove. Even with DNA, the prosecutor has to be able to prove non-consent. It’s a despicable crime, and women – and men – have a violently emotional reaction.
And then again, there are those who rape in gangs. They do it for fun. They think it is a joke, and their victims are dehumanized.
Yousef, I think you are right about the 50% and what it actually indicates. Also, how is it measured? The number of people marrying this year against the number of people divorcing this year, or the number of marriages which actually fail over the life of the marriage? How are the marriages which are annulled tabulated? How about the marriages which fail during milcha, and may or may not have been consummated? Tallying exact divorce statistics is tricky.
Oh, oops, sorry.
And the ”you” in my rant was meant plural: it’s aimed at everybody who po-poo’d the idea that this woman was really raped and instead just made it up. Highly unlikely in your part of the world I’d say.
Aafke, one of the worst things about rape cases in Kuwait is that most of them just go away.
Crimes (and statistics) are framed in the most sensational way possible, and the slant is evident in the vocabulary that is used or omitted. Without context, neither the crime nor the statistic is of much value when forming an opinion.
I have been fascinated by the discussion about this case. I think that mostly I am sad…for every woman who finds the courage and support to report a violent assault there are at least another nine who stay silent. At least that’s what we’re told…statistically. I personally think that’s low. Staying silent means just that and I wonder how many wounded people, both men and women, carry around the scars of this incredible violation of their humanity?
You are right, DaisyMae. Often, it is not the victim who talks, but the grieving Mom, confiding in a friend. A victim may find, years later, that she – or he – needs to talk about and can, finally. What impressed me the most, working with rape victims, was how STRONG they were. Strangely, they were less violated than you might think – the rape wasn’t usually as scary as the violence involved, and the not knowing if you were going to live. Women, in particular, were very smart about keeping their head, memorizing details and collecting evidence, even as they appeared to comply. Working with them – I felt honored, many times, at the courage and strength of character I saw.
Aafke ,
the laws in kuwait carries the death penalty for Rape
and here is what the American law says :
“Today the United States Supreme Court issued the long awaited decision in the Kennedy v. Louisiana death penalty case discussed earlier this year. The Court held that the Eighth Amendment bars Louisiana from imposing the death penalty for the rape of a child where the crime did not result, and was not intended to result, in the victim’s death.”
Daggero, we have a problem in the US, as probably in other countries, that some times the wrong man is convicted of the rape, and often that man is black, so there is a racist element involved, too.
In this case, however, there is no problem identifying the man involved.
RAPE at any level is simple WRONG , respect for both sexes must be there from a moral perspective and religious ASPECT . Problem is arab men still hold onto their heritage and tribal beliefs before islam fell upon them , hey treat a women as a second class citizen not all but 80% accross all arab countries more so in what we call gulf countries because their still 100 years behind in mental development ignore the buildings and cars thats simply a shell their upbringing and society is what defines their character in adulthood .
They simple don’t know how to interact accordingly with women , yes their must be of similar backgrounds but love is important understanding etc a common element between both not simple an arrangement between families based on materialism .Divorce rate in q8 is at 60% .
ARABS ARE SIMPLE HAVE DOUBLE STANDARDS AND THEY CERTAINLY PICK FROM RELIGION AND SOCIETY WHAT CHOOSES THEM BEST FOR THAT TIME AND 9/10 ITS FOR THE WRONG REASONS – They will be the ones that will be judged the most at the end of the world because they should of known better according to the teaching of islam. I mean look they treat maids etc with upmost disrespect simply say thank you , men dont carry the shopping they make a small female carry heavy goods and wash cars there a week society thats why iraq invaded within 24 hrs everyone ran away .
In most rape cases, a women or man in that case would show signs of physical assult. DNA proves the source of the individual who engaged in sex with another partner, but doesn’t constitute a rape case.
I believe that wether in Kuwait or any other country, bringing such an accusation on someone and exposing what’s personal can harm, but if one was raped, I feel, the hell with what people think and bring the perpetrator to justice.
So, with that being said, if this woman was infact raped by her rejected suitor, I would hope that she attempted to put up a fight; in that case she would have bruising and possible scrapings that also leave DNA, beside the sperm.
RAPE VICTIMS : DON’T WAIT, go right to the police, not your family, you may be wiping off evidence that would prove your case!!!
In responce to MR X, I agree with all that you said, but please explain to me how the invasion of Iragi troops is relevant to this matter. From what I understand, and I hope you didn’t overlook the fact that a woman was accusing a man of rape. Are you implying that because the average arabic male is apparently unaware of the proper way to treat a woman, then it is fair for another arabic country to invade it all together. What does this really teach us.
I will hope that after reading this you will reevaluate your way of thinking and the hurtful comment that you imposed on the Kuwaiti people; whom of which aren’t ignorant on the values of a woman.
Must I remind you of your first sentence, RAPE at any level is simply WRONG, and that was sure abundant during the invasion,
sincerly your,
AN OFFENDED KUWAITI CITIZEN
iamai – There is one point on which I disagree with you – and that is that a woman MUST report a rape. I’ve worked with a lot of rape victims. Some of them had no problem going public, and others – even in the US and Germany – chose not to.
When the very most private choice of all is taken from you by force, the last thing you need is having people tell you that you must go public; going public takes enormous courage and there are often good reasons not to, especially in a country where – even though it is not logical – it can be food for the most malicious, destructive kinds of gossip.
In this case, I think the woman was very courageous. I applaud her courage, and her family for backing her up. In all our countries, rape laws are changing very slowly, and people with the courage to step forward hasten the day when good laws will be written and enforced, and God willing, rape will decrease.
Thank you for your comment. You know what, you’re absolutly right. It is a rape victims choice on whether or not to come forward, and as much as I wish they all would, it’s not in my hands.
I pray for victims of all kinds of malicious acts, and hope that God grant them the courage to speak out against their accusors. To be an optimist, hoping with the more they speak out, the more these things may decrease in occurances.
I agree with you iamai. Across the board, we need to pray for victims, and to pray for ourselves, that at a critical moment, we will have the courage to say “this is wrong” or to lend a helping hand to a person who is down. We need to stand against bullies, and those who think inflicting harm is funny. Bullies thrive on intimidation, they thrive on their victim’s silence. We all have to speak out against wrongful behavior against the weak and powerless. We have to pray we have the courage when the right moment appears.