Rising Dowries in Kuwait an Obstacle to Marriage
From today’s <a href="“> Arab Times
Rising dowries key problem in failed marriages – survey
KUWAIT, Jan 17, (KUNA): Kuwaiti youth oppose vehemently the extremely high dowries and wedding expenses amid an economic and social downturn in the society due to the current economic crisis, according to a recent academic survey. Dowry is always a bone of contention among the families of bride and bridegroom, said the survey, carried out by the Kuwait University.
Young men are more critical of rising dowries than girls, the study entitled “Social Value of Dowries in Kuwaiti Society”, showed. It highlighted the reality of dowries in Kuwait and their relative significance and social impacts, calling for taking into consideration gender differences and social and cultural changes. The survey involved a sample of 700 men and women aged between 20 and 56 from different areas in the six Kuwaiti governorates. It showed that 78 percent of the sample viewed dowries as exorbitantly high, 82.4 percent considered dowry as the key problem in surging wedding expenses, while 28.1 percent believed that Kuwaiti girls pay too much heed to dowry. The respondents are mostly dissatisfied with dowries, with 85.7 percent of the sampled men and 70 percent of the sampled women believing that dowries are too high.
Sometimes, it is the dowry which determines whether marriage can be completed due to familial hard-mindedness and intransigence, it said. The survey attributed surging dowries to women’s employment, education, lack of acquaintance and girls’ young age. It indicated common gender social awareness of social reflections of uncontrollably rising dowries on the entire Kuwaiti society. For instance, young men are now reluctant to marry Kuwaiti girls, resorting to non-Kuwaiti females, spinsterhood is growing and secret and unofficial marriage cases are mounting, it said. In conclusion, the survey recommended that the culture of moderation, especially regarding dowries, should be disseminated pursuant to the Islamic Sharia’ or Law in bid to alleviate the negative social effects of mounting dowries in the Kuwaiti society.
Young Kuwaiti men have told me that Kuwaiti women “cost too much”, that they would rather marry a hard-working Philipina girl, or a western woman, who will work and help with household expenses, than to borrow the money required to support a Kuwaiti woman.
A young Kuwaiti woman told me it is a growing problem for them, too, as they find themselves facing a dwindling pool of eligible bachelors, and that while the men are supposed to be able to support them in a style the same as they are supported by their father’s household, it doesn’t take into account that their fathers also did not always have so much money. It seems to be that both sexes have a clear idea of what the obstacles and problems are, but no one seems to know what to do about it.
Watch Out! Roads Closing for Summit
This is from Al Watan ; I am guessing they meant to say January 19 + 20:
Roads to close 9 hours for summit
KUWAIT: The Ministry of Interior on Saturday called all citizens and residents to cooperate with the security personnel to ensure the smooth flow of traffic everyone”s safety.
The Interior Ministry”s Assistant Undersecretary and Director General of the General Traffic Department Major General Mahmoud AlـDowseri told reporters that certain roads will be closed from 10:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. and from 3:00 to 9:00 p.m. during the Arab Economic and Social Development Summit that is scheduled to be held in Kuwait from Jan. 19ـ20.
He added that checkpoints will be set up on some roads to ease traffic for all those participating in the event who will be provided with special stickers on their vehicles to allow them to have access to those roads.
All those who try to illegally jump the checkpoints will endanger themselves as they will be prevented from doing so by the security forces and will be prosecuted accordingly, he warned. ـKUNA
Last updated on Sunday 18/1/2009
Clouds, No Rain
It was DARK when we got up at our normal time, and I was wondering “where is the sun?” When I looked out, the answer was clear – it was going to be a dark and cloudy day; the sun couldn’t break through.
I was wrong, so wrong. A mere two hours later, the clouds, while present, are mere wisps and the sun is shining through. It is another sunshiny, glorious day in the winter of Kuwait.
We badly need rain. You can see on the chart below – January is supposed to be the peak month for rain in Kuwait, one inch average. So far this January – nothing. People are shaking their heads, brows furrowed with concern.
Have a great day, Kuwait. 🙂
Chinese Astrological Calculations
I’ve never really been sure what my Chinese birth year was. For a long time I thought I was one thing, then another long time I thought I was another, and it turns out it is more complicated than I thought. I am between a solar year and a lunar month – or was it a lunar year and a solar month?
Here is my picture:
I am like a white metal chicken.
Way more complicated than I knew!
If you would like to find out who you are according to Chinese astrology, there is a wonderful website where you enter your birthdate and they can tell you what you are – and who you should be friends with and who you should marry.
You can click on Chinese Fortune Calendar and find out all about yourself.
Year of the Ox Starts 26 January!
(The US Postal Service has issued a Year of the Ox postal stamp, above)
To our great surprise, there are several very good Chinese restaurants in Kuwait – if you don’t think so, check out the number of Chinese people eating in a place, and eat what they eat. Several Chinese restaurants in Kuwait even have honest-to-God Chinese cooks!
Chinese New Year’s is a great excuse for a party, and wearing your favorite red dress. 🙂 It’s almost here – January 26th.
Chinese New Year
The Year of the Ox
by Holly Hartman
from InfoPlease website on Chinese New Year
4707 (or 2009) is the year of the ox
Chinese New Year is the longest and most important celebration in the Chinese calendar. The Chinese year 4707 begins on Jan. 26, 2009.
Chinese months are reckoned by the lunar calendar, with each month beginning on the darkest day. New Year festivities traditionally start on the first day of the month and continue until the fifteenth, when the moon is brightest. In China, people may take weeks of holiday from work to prepare for and celebrate the New Year.
An Obstinate Year
Legend has it that in ancient times, Buddha asked all the animals to meet him on Chinese New Year. Twelve came, and Buddha named a year after each one. He announced that the people born in each animal’s year would have some of that animal’s personality. Those born in ox years tend to be painters, engineers, and architects. They are stable, fearless, obstinate, hard-working and friendly. Jack Nicholson, Jane Fonda, Walt Disney, and Anthony Hopkins were all born in the year of the ox.
Fireworks and Family Feasts
At Chinese New Year celebrations people wear red clothes, decorate with poems on red paper, and give children “lucky money” in red envelopes. Red symbolizes fire, which according to legend can drive away bad luck. The fireworks that shower the festivities are rooted in a similar ancient custom. Long ago, people in China lit bamboo stalks, believing that the crackling flames would frighten evil spirits.
The Lantern Festival
In China, the New Year is a time of family reunion. Family members gather at each other’s homes for visits and shared meals, most significantly a feast on New Year’s Eve. In the United States, however, many early Chinese immigrants arrived without their families, and found a sense of community through neighborhood associations instead. Today, many Chinese-American neighborhood associations host banquets and other New Year events.
The lantern festival is held on the fifteenth day of the first lunar month. Some of the lanterns may be works of art, painted with birds, animals, flowers, zodiac signs, and scenes from legend and history. People hang glowing lanterns in temples, and carry lanterns to an evening parade under the light of the full moon.
In many areas the highlight of the lantern festival is the dragon dance. The dragon—which might stretch a hundred feet long—is typically made of silk, paper, and bamboo. Traditionally the dragon is held aloft by young men who dance as they guide the colorful beast through the streets. In the United States, where the New Year is celebrated with a shortened schedule, the dragon dance always takes place on a weekend. In addition, many Chinese-American communities have added American parade elements such as marching bands and floats.
We heard in church a couple weeks ago that the Chinese labor force is the fastest growing segment of the expat labor force in Kuwait, did you know that? The come in, they focus, they work hard, they produce what they have promised and then – they go back to China. They bid competitively on the contracts, they speak English fairly well, and they get the job done, with none of this human rights baggage that many of the Western countries carry around. Nope. No problem, says the Chinese embassy.
Days of January Glory
“Come! Come look! It is a gorgeous sunrise!” AdventureMan calls as I step out of the shower, drying my hair. It is a rare day when he spots the sunrise instead of me, and he is right, it is a beautiful sunrise – the clouds give it depth and dimension.
Although we both have full days ahead, we take a moment to appreciate the sunrise together. Then, off in our separate directions, sometimes shouting from various parts of the house as we are getting ready but still trying to communicate before we go our separate ways.
The Qatteri Cat has found a place to enjoy the morning sunshine. It still feels cold this morning – and it is:
It is getting seriously warmer starting tomorrow, and I wonder if today will be the last real sweater day. I found this last week, it was constantly shifting from jacket and scarf and sweater to sweater and scarf, to sweater, and then back depending on whether we were in the car (hot hot hot) or walking where there was a stiff breeze or shade (jacket, scarf and sweater) or whether we were having a cup of coffee in the peak of the afternoon sitting outside in the sunshine (scarf and sweater). Life has become very fiddly with all this clothing.
Already, we are preparing for the warmer temperatures around the corner – February is paradise in Kuwait, with mild temperatures and sunshine every day.
Now – on! On! We have a busy day and need to get going! Have a great day, Kuwait!
“Mister, Take Picture!”
My friend, Q8Dutchie asked if we were truly allowed to take photos in the souks, and I answered “Carefully.” I added that if you are photographing a person, to ask, and especially if it is a woman. There is usually no problem photographing vegetables, fruits, hardware. clothing, food, etc. If I have any doubt, I ask, and if they say “no,” I don’t photograph.
Yousef, from Some Contrast answered slightly differently, saying most of the people working in the souks are not Kuwaiti, and most don’t mind a photo.
Actually, we often have the experience that when people in the souks see my camera, they say “Mister! Mister! Take photo!” (yes, they call me mister sometimes, mostly madame, but sometimes they get confused.)
Here are some recent examples:
Have fun, Q8Dutchie!
Fighting Pornography
For the last week, I have been beset by some of the filthiest spam I have seen in a long time. Most of it goes straight to spam, thanks to WordPress’s effective filters, but occasionally, one passes. I think there is a major effort going on to test the filters and see what can get through. It puts pressure on me to check the blog frequently and eliminate anything I see that is inappropriate.
Most of this spam takes you to pornographic sites. I hate porn. It degrades those who indulge. It gives people an unrealistic idea of what sex is all about. It infects normal relations with unrealistic images and expectations. And those images are engraved on your brain, spoiling what is good and beautiful, smearing it with what you have taken in on those sleazy websites.
I have said it before and I will say it again – those women and men are PAID. They are doing those things because they were PAID. The animals are doing it because they are forced – as are some of the humans. It is like prostitution – no, yours is NOT the biggest they have ever seen, they are saying that because you are PAYING them.
That is fantasy. If you get your head straight, reality is 100 times better than this degradation can ever be.
You have a choice. Please choose NOT to support these websites, which are trying to appeal to the very weakest parts of your character. These websites are not just a crime against women and children – they are a weapon against the goodness of your own character.
I am now spraying this blog against filth. You are warned.
Sunrise, Friday 16 January 2009
The sun is up, the tide is low, the fish are running and it is another beautiful day in Kuwait. Because this is Friday, for our non-Kuwaiti readers, it is a lazy morning. Traffic is light, the weather is chilly, and people are sleeping in this morning. A little later, we will go to church (Friday is our Sunday) and maybe go somewhere where we can sit outside in the sunshine – it is usually warm enough by noon that we can do that.
The sunrise this morning was glorious! Not a cloud in the sky!
At 7:30, the temperature has actually fallen one full degree C. from where it was at 6:30 – no kidding!
It is going to be significantly warmer for the rest of the week:
Ok To Marry 10 Year Old Girls – Saudi Arabia
This is just sad. I’m sorry, a ten year old girl is that – a girl. Any father knows that. She is precious and innocent, and still playing dolls and make believe. Few girls are even menstruating at 10. No girl, at 10, has the emotional and physical maturity to enter into a marriage. And this is the SENIOR Saudi Arabian cleric speaking? I’m sorry, this makes me sick to my stomach. It’s just wrong.
You don’t leave a ten year old alone – you get a babysitter. A ten year old belongs in school, a ten year old belongs with her mother.
This is from today’s Al Watan, right on the front page.
RIYADH: Saudi Arabia”s most senior cleric was quoted Wednesday as saying it is permissible for 10ـyearـold girls to marry and those who think they’re too young are doing the girls an injustice.
The mufti”s comments showed the conservative clergy’s opposition to a drive by Saudi rights groups, including government ones, to define the age of marriage and put an end to the phenomenon of child marriages.
“It is wrong to say it’s not permitted to marry off girls who are 15 and younger,” Sheik AbdulـAziz AlـSheikh, the country”s grand mufti, was quoted as saying.
“A female who is 10 or 12 is marriageable and those who think she’s too young are wrong and are being unfair to her,” he said during a Monday lecture, according to the panـArab AlـHayat newspaper.
AlـSheikh”s comments come at a time when Saudi human rights groups have been pushing the government to put an end to marriages involving the very young and to define a minimum age for marriage. In the past few months, Saudi newspapers have highlighted several cases in which young girls were married off to much older men or very young boys.
Though the mufti’s pronouncements are respected and provide guidance, the government is not legally bound by them.
On Sunday, the governmentـrun Human Rights Commission condemned marriages of minor girls, saying such marriages are an “inhumane violation” and rob children of their rights.
The commission’s statement followed a ruling by a court in Oneiza in central Saudi Arabia last month that dismissed a divorce petition by the mother of an eightـyearـold girl whose father married her off to a man in his 50s.
Newspaper reports said the court argued that the mother did not have the right to file such a case on behalf of her daughter and said that the petition should be filed by the girl when she reaches puberty.
Responding to a question about parents who force their underage daughters to marry, the mufti said: “We hear a lot about the marriage of underage girls in the media, and we should know that Islamic law has not brought injustice to women.”
The mufti said a good upbringing will make a girl capable of carrying out her duties as a wife and that those who say women should not marry before the age of 25 are following a “bad path.”
“Our mothers and before them, our grandmothers, married when they were barely 12,” said AlـSheikh, according to AlـHayat.
There are no statistics to show how many marriages involving children are performed in Saudi Arabia every year. And it’s also not clear whether these unions are on the rise or whether people are hearing about them more now because of the prevalence of media outlets and easy access to the Internet.
Activists say the girls are given away in return for hefty dowries or as a result of longـstanding custom in which a father promises his infant daughters and sons to cousins out of a belief that marriage will protect them from illicit relationships. ـAP
Last updated on Thursday 15/1/2009
I have a friend who says the mufti needs to come back in his next life as a young girl in Saudi Arabia. I think it might give his thought processes some clarity.
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