Here There and Everywhere

Expat wanderer

Truths For Mature Humans

The woman who forwarded these ‘truths’ to me is ageless. She never hesitated to master the newest technology and the newest systems if it would make her more efficient. She never complains about aging and still has a great sense of humor. 🙂

Truths For Mature Humans

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my
collection…again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Bud Light than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

24. The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

October 5, 2010 - Posted by | Aging, Humor, Jordan

4 Comments »

  1. #2 – I once had someone tell me I hated it when someone else was right. I corrected them, “That’s not true. I don’t mind at all when someone else is right – but I really hate being wrong!”

    #6 – Actually, I’ve seen recent news articles advocating cursive no longer be taught; no one actually writes exactly like it’s taught, it doesn’t provide any discernible difference in speed, and most adults have a hard time reading their own scrawling much less from someone else. My wife (a teacher) refuses to teach third grade just because that’s the grade level in which cursive is taught.

    #22 – I haven’t worn a watch in almost two years and I still look at my wrist to see what time it is!

    Comment by Ken | October 5, 2010 | Reply

  2. LOL, I like #14 🙂

    Comment by intlxpatr | October 5, 2010 | Reply

  3. #18 was written about me, but the last one made me laugh the longest:)

    Comment by patzee | October 5, 2010 | Reply

  4. #5 has always given me fits but #24 is the biggest truism-LOL!

    Comment by momcat | October 5, 2010 | Reply


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