In Honor of the Instruction Challenged
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) —
‘Do not turn upside down.’
On Sainsbury’s peanuts —
‘Warning: contains nuts.’
On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine —
‘Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.’
On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding —
‘Product will be hot after heating.’
(…and you thought????…)
On a Sears hairdryer —
Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos —
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap —
‘Directions: Use like regular soap.’
On some Swanson frozen dinners —
‘Serving suggestion: Defrost.’
On packaging for a Rowenta iron —
‘Do not iron clothes on body.’
On Nytol Sleep Aid —
‘Warning: May cause drowsiness.’
On most brands of Christmas lights —
‘For indoor or outdoor use only.’
On a Japanese food processor —
‘Not to be used for the other use.’
On an American Airlines packet of nuts —
‘Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.’
On a child’s Superman costume —
‘Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.’
(I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw —
‘Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.’
****Blessed are the cracked: for it is they who let in the light*****
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Rowenta iron instruction does make sense , People shouldnt iron clothes while on body even if they are in a hurry .
American Airlines must think of their passengers as having IQs less than a monkey ,by feeding the passengers peanuts and giving them instructions how to .
Indeed, men do feel macho with brass balls when they have a chainsaw in hand , but even so ,they shouldnt use them to stop the chain from rotating .
Most of the instructions, I think, are to protect against legal actions. I have heard of people taking Preparation H internally, and wondering why it didn’t work 😦 I do iron sheets on the bed, when guests are coming, it’s faster!