Here There and Everywhere

Expat wanderer

Oh! Didn’t It Rain!

I love it that this YouTube version of Mahalia Jackson’s rendition of “Oh Didn’t It Rain!” starts out with photos in Wadi Rum in Jordan, a couple peeks at Petra, and as the camera backs off, the effects of wind and rain on the topography of the Wadi Rum area. We camped there for three nights, lo, these many years ago, going on camelback into the deeper parts of the canyon. It was unforgettable.

My trip back into Doha last night was unforgettable.

In what is usually the most mundane of flights, we found ourselves bumping up and down with lightning striking all around us, from about the halfway point all the way into Doha. I’ve never had a lot of faith in the aerodynamics that keeps airplanes up in the air, and seeing flashes of lightning all around me was a genuinely religious experience, LOL.

(From article on lightning strikes plane in Japan: According to a Scientific American article about lightning strikes and aircraft, its is “estimated that on average, each airplane in the U.S. commercial fleet is struck lightly by lightning more than once each year”. However, the article notes that the last crash directly attributed to a lightning strike occurred back in 1967 when the fuel tank exploded.)

At the airport, all the baggage handlers actually had on rain-gear, and on the way home, there were deep pools where drains have clogged. And, as AdventureMan said, when you live at sea level, just where is the water going to drain?

I am so thankful to be home. Home for the next scant three weeks, anyway, as I pack up all those boxes once again for what we think will be (one of) our last moves. Sorting, giving away, “can I live without this if I leave it behind?” “Will I regret it forever if I leave this behind?” “Is there someone who could give this a good home?”

I have two great avenues of disposal; my own church, where incoming church personnel can make use of household goods and not have to buy everything new, and my housekeeper’s church, where they cherish anything they get.

March 2, 2010 Posted by | Adventure, Charity, Doha, ExPat Life, Florida, Jordan, Living Conditions, Qatar, Technical Issue, Weather | 4 Comments

Waterfront Mission Pensacola

LOL, this is what a mother-son outing looks like in our family. Our son volunteered to take me shopping at the Waterfront Mission, a store like Goodwill or the Salvation Army or St. Vincent de Paul, second hand stores run by churches. I love these stores (and I donate to these stores!) because I can find treasures here to make new and usable once again, and when I spend my money here, I know it will go to help the homeless, help feed the poor, help heat a house for a person without the money for electricity, etc. These are worthy organizations, providing a great service to the community.

People get rid of perfectly good, usable furniture, because they want something fresh and new. This is good news for people like me – I took a class in furniture upholstery and discovered that it is something I love doing. Tearing off the old fabric and stuffing is GREAT therapy when you are annoyed or anxious about something, and good prayer time, too. Putting it all back together is just good fun. Many times there are pieces of wood that need to be stripped and/or refinished; at least in the pieces I like to renovate.

Wait! I’ll show you some of the potential treasures I found! I didn’t buy anything; haven’t got the house yet, but this field trip gave me inspiration for the future:

See what I mean? These pieces have potential!

For AdventureMan:

Here is a detail – how cool is that?

If you want your own massage table:

Someone spray painted this daybed a verdigris sort of green. It could be rescued, but it would be a lot of trouble . . .

For your outdoor patio, there are two marble topped tables:

And for my collector friends, a real treasure – a SINGER treadle!

There were exquisite wedding dresses for sale – makes you wonder what happened to the marriage, that a bride would part with her wedding dress. Most of these are custom made; they are available at prices that would make them worth buying just to re-use the fabrics in a quilt or cushion or Christmas stocking:

There are things I would never buy used – like a mattress. But many pieces of furniture from older times are 100% solid wood, and better made than some of the furniture you find in stores, even expensive stores, worth the effort to rescue and rehabilitate. And, for people like me, the rehabilitation is part of the fun. 🙂 Thanks be to God for a husband and son and daughter (in-law) who support my peculiar habits!

March 1, 2010 Posted by | Adventure, Arts & Handicrafts, Biography, Charity, Community, Cross Cultural, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Florida, Interconnected, Living Conditions, Shopping | 6 Comments

Americans Sing for the Liberation of Kuwait

My sweet Kuwait friend sent me this today. It made me cry.

We all have memories of the invasion. I remember it well. We had just moved to Tampa, AdventureMan was working with CENTCOM. He had just brought his very old grandmother to visit with us, and the next day, Iraq invaded, and his grandmother and I didn’t see him again!

We have had a long history with Kuwait, longer than our time living there. Kuwait matters to us. This song makes me cry; the effects of this invasion linger on, resonating and affecting so many lives:

March 1, 2010 Posted by | Adventure, Biography, Community, Counter-terrorism, Cross Cultural, Events, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Friends & Friendship, Interconnected, Kuwait, Living Conditions, Middle East, Political Issues, Social Issues | 5 Comments

Grabbing a Half Day

While most of my time has been spent joyfully grandmama-ing, I was feeling increasing anxiety about one thing. I am flying back to Doha to pack, and then I am flying back to Pensacola to close on the house, and wait for AdventureMan to join me, and then all our furniture and household goods that have been in storage a lifetime – twelve years – will arrive.

Oh oh. Where do we sleep until our bed arrives? We COULD invade our dear son and his sweet wife once again, but don’t you think enough is enough? Would you want your parents and in-laws living with you, week after week, with all our well-intentioned advice, and stories about our son when he was young?

No? LLOOLLL, me neither!

So yesterday, I took an afternoon to myself.

First, I had learned that the Pensacola Quilter’s Guild was having their bienniel (once every TWO years) show this weekend, Friday and Saturday. There is little that can take this adoring grandmama away from her most adorable brand-new grandson, but I will admit it – a quilt show – that is beyond temptation. I had to go, even just for an hour. I went, joined the guild, hurried through the exhibit, which was GLORIOUS! and then I went furniture shopping.

Furniture shopping is not what it used to be. I have some lovely furniture in storage, but not a huge amount of it. Some of it we sent off with Law and Order Man when he went off to law school and needed some basics. Some of it is just outdated – like televisions from the 90’s! I figured I would just look for the basics – bed, mattress and table and chair. We will have a place to sit when we are not sleeping, and we can buy the TV’s together, later, with our son’s help. We need the help of the high-tech-savvy to get us up to speed on what we will be needing, phones, TV’s, cable connections, phone plans, internet connections, oh, it is as bad as buying a new car!

When we were still in the military, we found a dining room table and chairs, gorgeous, at an auction, for $169. We found marble topped antique oak nightstands, gorgeous, at the flea market in Metz, and paid $60 for the pair. We found a gorgeous buffet/credenza in a used furniture shop in Leavenworth, KS for $50 + $10 for delivery, all these are furniture pieces we still treasure. I am telling you this so you will understand what sticker shock I get when I go to look at new furniture.

I am quick and clear about what I want and need, but the prices require me to summon all the courage I can summon when I go to write the checks. I am good at saving. Letting that money go is so HARD. It took me the entire afternoon to find pieces I knew would work for us.

Here is where you will sleep, the guest room bed, when you come to stay with us:

It was on sale. I love it because, with the inlay, it sort of reminds me of the Middle East, of Damascus:

I also bought mattresses. It was difficult, too, because I don’t like these pillow tops. We like a good, firm bed, and I like to sleep cool, I can’t get to sleep if I am too warm, and these pillow tops are too warm. It took me a long time to find a good, firm mattress set for the bed.

Then I went looking for a table and chairs for the family room/ casual dining area. I knew what I wanted. My long-time Chinese friend told me the best table for families is the round table, no one sits at the head, everyone is equal. My sister Big Diamond (Little Diamond’s and Sporty Diamond’s Mom) has a HUGE, gorgeous round table, and I have seen how people love to gather there. So I knew I wanted a round table that would be inviting and comfortable, but not so grand as my sister’s. I have been looking online, checking out a lot of models. When I found one here in Pensacola, at a reasonable price, I was hooked. It is light teak – light in color, heavy in weight. OOps. Then she reminded me I would need chairs. Aaarrgh.

There weren’t any other customers in the shop at the time, so we took our time. As I learned from you, my Middle Eastern friends, we dickered a little, comfortably and amiably – and she gave me a discount, and free delivery.

The chairs are amazing. You would not believe wood could feel so comfortable. The table and chairs together remind me so much of all our times camping and in lodges in Africa, in Zanzibar, in Zambia, in Botswana, where the furniture is both comfortable and well made. But I almost choked, writing the check. Some things are just worth buying new; sturdy, comfortable furniture is one of them.

Here is the guest bathroom:

It has a spa tub and a walk in shower. 🙂

Last but not least, I found some farewell gifts for friends I have had in Doha for a long long time, and a bolt of muslin for a friend who knows I am coming back with suitcases almost empty. 🙂 It was a long day, and a fruitful day, and I am resting easier knowing all these little details are coming together.

Today, however, my son and his wife are taking me to the kinds of places I LOVE buying furniture! The Waterfront Mission Store and Loaves and Fishes! Wooo HOOOOO!

February 28, 2010 Posted by | Adventure, Cross Cultural, Cultural, Doha, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Financial Issues, Kuwait, Living Conditions, Local Lore, Relationships, Shopping, Values, Zambia, Zanzibar | 6 Comments

Thing Younger, Act Younger, BE Younger

A couple of my friends and I were trying to figure out why we were friends. What goes into making friendships? One thing that surprised us was that we tended to choose people with some risk-taking behaviors – people who look ‘normal’ and conservative on the outside, but are thinking outside-the-box on the inside. They are thinking all the time, observing and analyzing and making choices that set them aside from others. For one thing, here we are, all living in Qatar – and that is a choice. Our lifestyles are a choice.

Most of my friends are a lot of fun – you would like them. And it might take you a while to figure out we are all total nerds, very uncool people. One of the very coolest sent me this. On the inside, this woman is into EVERYTHING! On the outside, she obeys the conventions. On the inside, she is thinking all the time. 🙂

This study, from BBC News Magazine is amazing. But don’t believe me! Listen to the broadcast! See the movie! Imagine yourself 20 years younger (please! not those of you in your 20’s!) and start acting YOUNGER!

In 1979 psychologist Ellen Langer carried out an experiment to find if changing thought patterns could slow ageing. But the full story of the extraordinary experiment has been hidden until now.

How much control do you have over how you will age?

Many people would laugh at the idea that people could influence the state of their health in old age by positive thinking. A way of mitigating ageing is a holy grail for the pharmaceutical and cosmetics industry, but an experiment by Harvard psychologist Ellen Langer three decades ago could hold significant clues.

Prof Langer has spent her entire career investigating the power our mind has over our health. Conventional medicine is frequently accused of treating them as separate entities.

“Everybody knows in some way that our minds affect our physical being, but I don’t think people are aware of just how profound the effect actually is,” she says.
In 1979, Prof Langer conducted a ground-breaking experiment – the results of which are only now being fully revealed.

Prof Langer recruited a group of elderly men all in their late 70s or 80s for what she described as a “week of reminiscence”. They were not told they were taking part in a study into ageing, an experiment that would transport them 20 years back in time.

The psychologist wanted to know if she could put the mind back 20 years would the body show any changes.

The men were split into two groups. They would both be spending a week at a retreat outside of Boston.

Ellen Langer in 1979 and today
But while the first group, the control, really would be reminiscing about life in the 50s, the other half would be in a timewarp. Surrounded by props from the 50s the experimental group would be asked to act as if it was actually 1959.

They watched films, listened to music from the time and had discussions about Castro marching on Havana and the latest Nasa satellite launch – all in the present tense.

Dr Langer believed she could reconnect their minds with their younger and more vigorous selves by placing them in an environment connected with their own past lives.

And she was determined to remove any prompt for them to behave as anything but healthy individuals. The retreat was not equipped with rails or any gadgets that would help older people. Right from the off she was determined to ensure they looked after themselves.

One man discarded his walking stick

When they got off the bus at the retreat, Prof Langer did not help the men carry their suitcases in. “I told them they could move them an inch at a time, they could unpack them right at the bus and take up a shirt at a time.”

The men were entirely immersed in an era when they were 20 years younger.

Understandably, Prof Langer herself had doubts. “You have to understand, when these people came to see if they could be in the study and they were walking down the hall to get to my office, they looked like they were on their last legs, so much so that I said to my students ‘why are we doing this? It’s too risky’.”

But soon the men were making their own meals. They were making their own choices. They weren’t being treated as incompetent or sick.

Pretty soon she could see a difference. Over the days, Prof Langer began to notice that they were walking faster and their confidence had improved. By the final morning one man had even decided he could do without his walking stick.

As they waited for the bus to return them to Boston, Prof Langer asked one of the men if he would like to play a game of catch, within a few minutes it had turned into an impromptu game of “touch” American football.

The experiment took the men back to 1959

Obviously this kind of anecdotal evidence does not count for much in a study.

But Prof Langer took physiological measurements both before and after the week and found the men improved across the board. Their gait, dexterity, arthritis, speed of movement, cognitive abilities and their memory was all measurably improved.

Their blood pressure dropped and, even more surprisingly, their eyesight and hearing got better. Both groups showed improvements, but the experimental group improved the most.

Think younger, feel younger?
Prof Langer believes that by encouraging the men’s minds to think younger their bodies followed and actually became “younger”.

She first published the scientific data in 1981 but she left out many of the more colourful stories. As a young academic, she feared this might taint the experiment and affect the acceptance of the results.

Now after over 30 years of research into the connection between the mind and the body and with the confidence and conviction of a Harvard professor, she feels she has a fuller story to tell.

“My own view of ageing is that one can, not the rare person but the average person, live a very full life, without infirmity, without loss of memory that is debilitating, without many of the things we fear.”

Richard Wiseman, professor of public understanding of psychology at the University of Hertfordshire, thinks the results of Prof Langer’s experiments are fascinating but the big question is what’s causing them. “I think there could be multiple things going on here and the question is which explanations really hold water.

Why some people age faster than others is mysterious
“Part of it could be self perception, for example if you get people to smile they feel happier. The same could be going on here, by getting people to act younger they feel younger.”

Prof Weisman believes another factor could be motivational, the men are simply trying harder by the end of the week, or it could be similar to hypnotism, where people do better on memory tests because they are told they have a better memory.

Whatever the cause he believes there is a place for the type of positive thinking shown in the study.

“If you take something like heart disease positive thinking can have a role, because while it won’t heal your heart on its own, positive thinking will feed into positive actions like healthy eating or exercise which will help.”

In any event there is likely to be more interest in the 1979 experiment. The retelling of the study has been snapped up by Jennifer Aniston’s new production company, with Aniston tipped to play Prof Langer.

(FIND OUT MORE
Horizon: Don’t Grow Old is available via iPlayer and will be repeated at 0250GMT on BBC One on Tuesday 9 February)

February 27, 2010 Posted by | Adventure, Aging, Character, Doha, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Friends & Friendship, Generational, Health Issues, Interconnected, Kuwait, Living Conditions, Qatar, Relationships, Social Issues, Statistics | 3 Comments

The Most Beautiful Baby Ever (Photographer makes the difference!)

There is a woman in Pensacola who has studied how to photograph babies. The photos she did of our grandbaby made tears come to my eyes:

She takes wonderful, joyous photographs of babies and families. She welcomes your visits and comments to her blog:

Arielle Langhorn’s Photography Blog

February 27, 2010 Posted by | Adventure, Blogging, Community, Cultural, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Living Conditions, Local Lore, Photos, Technical Issue | 19 Comments

Change of Plans

When we were planning this trip, it all sounded so simple . . . greet the grandbaby, buy a house, quick, fly to Seattle, fly back to Pensacola, kiss the grandbaby and fly to Doha to pack.

Not quite the way it turned out. When we got here, the grandbaby was 11 days overdue. We got to be here for the birth. While our son and his wife labored, we went out with the world’s most wonderful real estate lady and actually, we did find a house.

Three years ago, we found a house. When I talked with the mortgage people, I said “We just finished paying off a mortgage with you; isn’t there some kind of short-cut you could do with me?” and they did something called “fast track” with me, and it was so easy I can’t even remember the paperwork; I think I filled it out on my computer – online – and that was it. My son handled the closing. It was so easy.

Things have really changed. This will be our third mortgage with the same company, but you would think we are potential deadbeats. We have high credit scores, an impeccable payment record – I would think they would want to have us as customers! It’s like pulling teeth. Papers don’t get to us. Additional verifications are required. Appraisers actually enter the house and verify square footage.

Between chasing paper and soothing the newborn, my life has been very full. It doesn’t sound very exciting, when I tell you about it, but here is the truth – I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now. It’s an amazing feeling.

Today, I spent a lot of time with the baby. At some point, I realized I wasn’t going to make it to Seattle this trip, and it’s OK. I can go to Seattle later. For right now, I have enough on my plate.

I had forgotten, too, how chaotic life with a newborn can be. His needs take precedence, and sometimes we all run around trying to guess what those needs might be, simple as they are . . . clean diaper? swaddling / soothing to sleep? Mother’s milk? Today was a really good day, where he took the diaper changes with grace, dropped right off to sleep after every meal, and was keenly alert for maybe a half hour after feeding before napping. He loves patterns and fabrics. I am having SO MUCH FUN!

A part of our life is ending, the nomadic part. AdventureMan and I have had a lot of fun, once our son got through college and law school, we were on our own again, living in Europe, living in Saudi Arabia, Kuwait and Qatar – we have had a great adventure. We travelled to Botswana, Namibia, Zambia (several times), South Africa, Kenya, Tanzania and spent a wonderful week on Mnemba Island off the coast of Zanzibar. We have wonderful friends, mostly from churches and interest groups. I would think, knowing us, that we would be sad leaving all this, but instead, we are racing toward our new future, being more settled, being near our son and his family, and his wife’s great big family. 🙂

For one thing, the world has changed. With e-mail and VOIP phones and people who jump on a plane at the drop of a hat, we expect to stay in touch with those we love and treasure. We expect they will come see us. It’s kind of fun settling in a place with white sandy beaches that everyone wants to come visit. 🙂 Cooler than Kuwait and Qatar in the summer time, too! Nice warm winters, well, not this winter, brrrrrrrrrrrr!

Thought you might want to see a photo of my little darling grandson:

February 25, 2010 Posted by | Adventure, Africa, Aging, Community, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Florida, France, Friends & Friendship, Generational, Geography / Maps, Germany, Kenya, Kuwait, Living Conditions, Marriage, Moving, Qatar, Relationships, Saudi Arabia, Seattle, Travel | 7 Comments

Warrior Woman Does Not Buy a New Car

It’s a beautiful day in Pensacola, I had baby duty all morning, but the afternoon is mine. I’ve been wanting to buy a new car; I could buy it and have it waiting for me when I come back. I know the car I want, the model, the color, everything I want – and do not want. The only thing that holds me back is that I hate the whole car buying process. I remember Saturn – nice car, pretty colors, drove well and you walk in and there is one price, and that is the price for everyone. I don’t know what happened. They stopped making Saturns.

So first, I just decided to see if I could find the place. I found it. Then I decided to drive around the lot and see what they had. I did that. Then I decided just to walk into the lobby and see if they had anything like price sheets there, although I had already done my research online. There was a nice young man waiting outside just for me, and he took me on a test drive. Here is what is really cool. Have you ever driven a car so new that it had one mile on the odometer?

I love the car. I had one like it before. This particular car had some features I didn’t care about and don’t want to pay for.

I know what I want. I know what I want to pay. He showed me figures. I told him what I wanted and what I was willing to pay. He printed out a bunch of stuff so he could explain to me why the car he wanted to sell me was going to cost more. I told him what I wanted and what I was willing to pay for it. He had to go talk to his manager. He came back with more figures. I told him what I wanted and what I was willing to pay for it. He went to get his manager.

I told him what I wanted and what I was willing to pay for it. He said he couldn’t sell me the car at that price, so I smiled and shook everybody’s hands and thanked them for their time and I left, after more discussion. I think they were shocked I walked out. I was shocked too.

And delighted.

“But you still don’t have the car!” my son reminded me.

I know I don’t have the car. It’s OK. I have time. I don’t know if this makes sense to you, but I just feel so good! I didn’t buy a car I didn’t want! I stuck by my guns! I know what I want (and what I don’t want and don’t want to pay for) and what I am willing to pay, and I believe with all my heart I am going to find my car at my price (it’s a reasonable price.) I am so proud of myself for not being talked into buying the car I didn’t want at the price I didn’t want to pay!

February 24, 2010 Posted by | Adventure, Aging, Communication, Customer Service, Family Issues, Financial Issues, Florida, Humor, Living Conditions, Marketing, Shopping | 6 Comments

Who Will be my Friends?

This will be my 31st move.

When I moved back to Doha, as I sighed and packed boxes, I took a few minutes to sit down and count them up. 31 moves. A lifetime of changing houses . . .

Until I get to the new location, I am caught up in the crushing details of moving – decisions on what to take, what to leave and to whom, closing accounts, opening accounts, blah blah blah. It can be overwhelming. I always think about that old joke about “how do you eat an elephant?” and the answer is “one bite at a time.” It’s the same with moving. Don’t look at the big picture, just keep moving, one detail at a time, and it all works out.

But when I get there, I wonder who will be my friends? It can be a lonely 6 months to a year while waiting for the right friends to come along. I make friends easily, but the ones who are going to stick, those tried and true friends – it takes a while to figure out who those are going to be.

We are lucky this time, we have family waiting for us. Our son is already educating us on how to pronounce local streets and areas (No, Mom, not “Sehr-vahn’-teys” as the Spanish would say it, but “Sir-van’tees”, not “Tex’-are” but “Te-har”, LOL) and what attitudes and perceptions we might best keep to ourselves if we want to get along.

We want to get along. Ironically, moving back to our own country is more daunting than moving to another expat community. The expat communities are relatively open and fluid, people coming and going all the time, willing to accept new members and welcome them in. This move is going to be to a very different life and a very different community from that in which we have lived the last thirty something years . . . God always sends me good friends. I just wonder who those friends will be?

February 19, 2010 Posted by | Adventure, Aging, Communication, Community, Cross Cultural, ExPat Life, Florida, Humor, Interconnected, Living Conditions, Random Musings | 8 Comments

Anxiety and Me

Anxiety and me – we go a long way back.

I am greatly familiar with anxiety . . . it is almost genetic. Maybe I was born of a family of worriers, people who looked for all the worst possibilities, and then ruined a perfectly good day by focusing on things that might – or might not – ever happen.

Today’s reading from Forward Day by Day was just what I needed now, with a tiny newborn grandson who is coughing, and a house inspection which shows some things that need to be done, and a moving process about to take place, and an earth-shaking retirement . . . if you are the praying kind, I would ask for your prayers for peace of mind, strength in service and courage in the face of adversities and challenges.

FRIDAY, February 19
Philippians 4:1-9. Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanks-giving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing…if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Anxiety is a kind of fear–not of God, but of the unknown future. It is unreality. We draw the unreal future into the present and proceed to stab ourselves with it.

How passionately Jesus strove to overcome our delusion of crossing bridges before we come to them! Imagine an able and loving father whose children ran about in panic lest next year they might not have food to eat or clothes to wear.

Anxiety is a symptom. The disease is mis¬trust of our heavenly Father. The cure is to look around and see what he has done for us already and to thank him for it. How many lovely things, how much to praise him for! If anything is needed, ask: and then leave it to God. If he doesn’t give it, so much the better. It wasn’t needed. What God always will give–if we trust him–is his peace, the best gift. (1946)

PRAY for the Diocese of Bath and Wells (Canterbury, England)

Ps 95 & 31 * 35; Ezekiel 18:1-4, 25-32; John 17:9-19

February 19, 2010 Posted by | Adventure, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Financial Issues, Generational, Health Issues, Humor, Living Conditions, Moving, Spiritual | 3 Comments