Here There and Everywhere

Expat wanderer

Business Bad Surprise

A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

“Listen,” said the CEO, “this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work?”

“Certainly,” said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

“Excellent, excellent!” said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine.
“I just need one copy.”

October 6, 2007 Posted by | Bureaucracy, Communication, Humor, Joke | 8 Comments

Feast of St. Francis of Assisi

This morning, I was reminded, in the most wonderful way, that today is the Feast of St. Francis of Assisi. A friend who is a priest blessed the Qatteri Cat. It is a tradition on the Feast of St. Francis in some churches to have a blessing of the animals. It delighted my heart to have the Qatteri Cat blessed today!

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St. Francis of Assisi was a controversial person. As a young man, upon hearing the voice of God, he sold off a bolt of silk from his father’s family warehouse to repair a church that had fallen into disrepair. His father was very angry and disowned him publicly. When he did, Francis took off all his clothes, left them for his father and walked away naked, or so the legend goes. He considered himself “wed to Lady Poverty” and preached simplicity in life and worship. This was not always popular with the Catholic Church.

This is called “The Prayer of St. Francis:”

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

You can read more on the official church legend of St. Francis here, although it does not go into detail about the simple way he lived his life, preached poverty, and loved all animals.

Reading through the above, I learned something. Here is an excerpt:

In 1219, Francis went to the Holy Land to preach to the moslems. He was given a pass through the enemy lines, and spoke to the Sultan, Melek-al-Kamil. Francis proclaimed the Gospel to the Sultan, who replied that he had his own beliefs, and that moslems were as firmly convinced of the truth of Islam as Francis was of the truth of Christianity. Francis proposed that a fire be built, and that he and a moslem volunteer would walk side by side into the fire to show whose faith was stronger. The Sultan said he was not sure that a moslem volunteer could be found. Francis then offered to walk into the fire alone. The Sultan who was deeply impressed but remained unconverted. Francis proposed an armistice between the two warring sides, and drew up terms for one; the Sultan agreed, but, to Francis’s deep disappointment, the Christian leaders would not. Francis returned to Italy, but a permanent result was that the Franciscans were given custody of the Christian shrines then in moslem hands.

The wonderful Giotto painting of St. Francis and the birds shown above I found at St. Francis Feeds the Birds. If you like art, you will love this link, which takes separate elements of the painting and helps you see what the artist may be saying. Even the way fingers are arranged has meanting.

On the Sunday in the United States when the priest blesses the animals, people bring dogs on leashes, cats in cages, bunnies, iguanas, even guinea pigs and parakeets. Every pet is welcome. It’s one of the sweetest Sundays of the year.

October 4, 2007 Posted by | Arts & Handicrafts, Bureaucracy, Community, Family Issues, Friends & Friendship, Pets, Spiritual | 7 Comments

“Could be Very Fatal”

Last year, six officials resigned from Kuwait Air when an assistant pilot without proper credentials was promoted to pilot in spite of having failed the qualifying test. I wrote about it HERE.

This is from yesterday’s (1 october 2007) Kuwait Times. No, it was not in the crime section.

Assistant Pilot Promoted Without Proper Qualifications

KUWAIT: An assistant pilot at Kuwait Airways was recently promoted to become a captain pilot despite the fact that he had failed the tests qualifying him for the promotion for the maximum times allowed. Informed sources stressed that such a mistake of having incompetent and inexperienced pilots fly civilian flights could be very fatal.

The sources noted that his promotion could cost lives of at least the 300 passengers all because of this man has an influential wasta (backer). The sources explained that this particular promotion had been tried upon several times and that it only got through during the transitory period after the resignation of the previous board of directors and before appointing the new board.

“This inexperienced pilot has already started flying to various destinations,” warned the sources expressing astonishment of the approval of the Civil Aviation Authority of such a promotion, particularly since it was the highest control over following safety precautions by various carriers.

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Last night, over dinner, Adventure Man looked at me sadly. We were discussing my blog, and I had asked him if he had any concerns. He said his only concern was for my safety. I asked him if he saw anything that made him uncomfortable. He said that he worries about my quoting newspaper articles, he has a concern in could get me in trouble.

I have promised I would not comment directly on the articles.

I am willing to bet that there is a possibility that there are unqualified pilots flying for other national airlines, in countries with less of a free press than Kuwait has. The difference in Kuwait is that the newspaper can report this and maybe the person writing it will not be fired for holding the airlines ACCOUNTABLE for providing safe flights for their customers.

October 2, 2007 Posted by | Adventure, Blogging, Bureaucracy, Community, Crime, Cultural, Customer Service, ExPat Life, Free Speech, Kuwait, Living Conditions, Social Issues, Technical Issue | 8 Comments

Kuwait Public Transportation

There were two influences that came together for this post. First, a show on BBC about green taxes supporting green initiatives, like public transportation. Second, last night I saw a Kuwait public bus.

Does it seem to you that the buses in Kuwait are looking cleaner than a couple years ago? The one I saw looked new, was undefaced, looked modern, and the passengers on it looked orderly, cool and happy. There were no women.

So here is my question to you – what would it take to get you to use public transportation rather than driving your own car every day?

I have a shameful confession. I didn’t even learn to drive until I was 25. I didn’t need to. I was in Germany when I hit the driving age, and there was public transportation at reasonable prices nearly everywhere I needed to go. And it was trolleys; trolleys are a lot of fun. When I went off to university, I ended up in Seattle, which also had excellent public transportaton – in Seattle, public transportation is all integrated and includes buses, trolleys and ferries across the Sound.

The buses ran on time. Occasionally, I would hate the walk to the bus stop on a cold rainy day with a driving wind (hard on the hairstyle), but for the most part, the buses ran on time, and I could read or plan my work day on the way to work. I didn’t mind not driving, at least not much. When I did, I learned to drive.

What are the barriers to public transportation in Kuwait? What would it take to make me want to use public transportation?

First, due to the extreme weather, I would want almost door-to-door transportation. This could be done with a train/trolley system where you drive to a Park and Ride spot in your air conditioned car and then jump on an air conditioned trolley or bus. The bus or trolley would need to transit in an air conditioned facility, where we could switch to a mini bus which would drop us within half a block of our destination, i.e. frequent stops.

The system would have to have a schedule, to which it kept rigorously and reliably.

The system would have to have redundancies and back-ups, because mechanical failures and equipment failures happen.

The system would have to have well trained, knowledgable bus drivers who spoke some few words in multiple languages.

The system would have to have protected, non-damagable cameras on every trolley and bus, and would have to commit to prosecuting vandals and people who could not behave themselves on the bus.

It might have to have separate seating for unaccompanied women. *Sigh* It seems to be a fact of life here that women are fair game for harassment. I am thinking there could be advertisements along the upper over-window area, like in London and Germany, and some qur’anic inscriptions about respect for women. And maybe also the environment. Every vehicle would need to have at least one trashcan.

To have a usuable transportation system would require, also, a nationwide campaign for respecting the law, and rules. It would also need a nationwide public-stewardship educational program, “this is your country, keep it clean, no littering, etc.”

And it would need methodical, impartial enforcement of the laws. That would be a whole separate campaign, educating the public to respect the law enforcement officers (in the last two weeks, there have been multiple reports of police officers being beaten by citizens, police officers! Unthinkable!) And there would need to be a parallel educational campaign for law-enforcement, training on what the law is (i.e. a police officer is not “insulted” by being passed by a taxi that is under the speed limit) and their mission – and I think policework is a holy mission – to see that power is not abused, the weak are protected against the bullies, and that the laws are enforced gently and impartially.

Let’s face it, driving in Kuwait can be a real drag. Many times of the day you are caught in gridlock, there are yahoos on the road totally lacking in brains, there are drunks and druggies on the road – and parking is a nightmare. Public transportation could be a godsend.

And just to show we are serious, let’s make it FREE! How is that for an incentive?

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When I was going to live in Saudi Arabia, my primary concern was not being able to drive. I quickly learned it wasn’t so bad. There was a well stocked small store on our beautiful compound, and you saw all your friends there, and there was a message board, and a video store, a laundry, and most of the basics. There was a shopping bus that ran twice a day, and a group that met once a month to set up the shopping bus schedule, so it went where people wanted to go.

In addition, when you needed a car and driver, the compound had a few available, you could reserve them for a very reasonable fee.

It worked beautifully.

There is potential in Kuwait for a visionary transportation system. What would make it work for YOU?

October 1, 2007 Posted by | Bureaucracy, Community, Cultural, Customer Service, ExPat Life, Experiment, Financial Issues, Kuwait, Leadership, Living Conditions, Social Issues, Weather | 7 Comments

Phone Fees to be Lowered

(for my non-Kuwait readers, Kuwait has a monopoly on all the communications in the country, and the phone rates are the highest I have experienced anywhere in the world. Most people who can subscribe to internet phone service providers like Skype, Vonage, etc. and use the internet connections to stay connected with family, friends, and to do personal financial transactions by phone. Kuwait claims they are losing millions of dinars in revenue, and continually tries to monitor and crack-down on illegal internet telephony.)

This is another tiny article from the Kuwait Times, September 26th.

Kuwait: Undersecretary for International Services at the Ministry of Communication Engineer Hameed Al-Qattan said that the ministry will offer outstanding call service fees over the Internet in order to stop the theft of international calls. Al-Qattan said that the announcement of this service will be in October and it will lead to a 50% reduction of international call fees from it’s present price.

I don’t have the figures. But I believe that most of the internet call services are charging between $16 (around 4KD) to $30 (around 8KD) per MONTH depending on the number of minutes you sign up for. Most of the calls to the US / Canada are free up to X number of minutes. Calls to foreign countries cost pennies per minute. They are charged to your credit card monthly, and the cost is a pittance. It’s laughable.

The call quality is not always so great, but hey, it’s a connection, right? And you are not paying an arm and a leg.

So Kuwait is going into competition with all the international internet call companies?

They will provide “outstanding” call service fees?

How cheap do those call service fees have to be in order to be competitive with the providers people are already using?

Will they also provide “outstanding” connections, better than the current internet connections we are dealing with?

Stay tuned!

September 27, 2007 Posted by | Bureaucracy, Communication, Customer Service, ExPat Life, Kuwait, Living Conditions, News, Technical Issue | 3 Comments

Ride the S.L.U.T.

You’d have to know the humor. Every country, every tribe, has their own unique way of handling situations, and in Seattle, humor often beats anger, any day. When city officials asked a low-income area of Seattle how they could help, the people said “affordable housing.” The city officials responded with “How about a trolley?”

“What? ? ? ?” you might ask. Sounds like this might have been about a trolley all along, don’t you think?

So the South Lake Union residents played the humor card. You can read the full article at CNN Travel,

SEATTLE, Washington (AP) — Officially, it’s the South Lake Union Streetcar. But in the neighborhood where the new line runs, it’s called the South Lake Union Trolley — or, the SLUT.

At Kapow! Coffee, a shop in the old Cascade neighborhood, 100 T-shirts bearing the words “Ride the SLUT” sold out in days, and another 100 are on order.

“We’re welcoming the SLUT into the neighborhood,” said Jerry Johnson, 29, a part-time barista.

Some claim — incorrectly, according to representatives of Vulcan Inc., the company that is developing the area — that South Lake Union Trolley was the original name and that it was changed when officials belatedly realized the acronym.

The $50.5 million project should be completed with streetcars running in December. Underlying the lighthearted opposition, however, is resentment over changes in the old working-class neighborhood.

“There was a meeting with representatives from the city several years ago,” Johnson recalled.

“They asked us, ‘What we could do for you?’ Most people raised their hands and said, ‘Affordable housing,”‘ he said. “Then the people from the city huddled together — ‘whisper, whisper, whisper,’ — and they said, ‘How about a trolley?

The neighborhood has sold out of the “Ride the S.L.U.T.” T-shirts. You can see the video if you go to the CNN website. Just a little grin to start your day, and a little insight into the Seattle way of doing things. Seattle people do not have a great fondness for bureaucrats and politicians.

September 26, 2007 Posted by | Bureaucracy, Communication, Community, Cultural, Humor, Kuwait, Language, Living Conditions, News, Seattle | 5 Comments

We Share the Road

Look closely. Look at the third set of wheels back, second set from the right. I know, I know, it is very difficult to see the tread. That’s because there is NO tread left on this tire.

Other tires on this truck were already shredding. Look, the one just in front of the bare-tread tire had some kind of exterior coating kind of thing on it, like a whole tire patch of some kind, also shredding. He is carrying a heavy load load. This is a disaster waiting to happen.

To my left is a police car.

I can’t remember? Is Kuwait the #1 most dangerous country for driving in the world, or the #2?

September 24, 2007 Posted by | Bureaucracy, Crime, ExPat Life, Health Issues, Kuwait, Living Conditions, Political Issues, Social Issues, Technical Issue | 6 Comments

A Thousand Splendid Suns

Once I picked up Khaled Hosseini’s A Thousand Splendid Suns, I barely put it down again until I was finished. I found myself thoroughly involved in the lives of Mariam and Leila, unwilling even to stop to fix dinner! The author of Kiterunner has hit another home run.

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There was a time when we would listen to older state department types talk – with enormous longing – about their tours of duty in Afghanistan, pre-Soviet invasion, pre-Taliban, pre-American occupation. Have you ever read James Michener’s Caravan? There are two countries I long to vist, but the countries they are now are not the countries I heard people talk about – Afghanistan and Ethiopia. Our friends loved their times in these two countries.

A Thousand Splendid Suns opens in a small village outside Herat, and then takes us to Kabul. Mariam is born harami, a bastard, of a village cleaning woman in the house of a very wealthy man. Her father builds a small hut for her mother and herself in a remote part of the small village, and visits Mariam every week. Life is simple, and difficult, but also full of kind people who visit and who are concerned with Mariam’s welfare.

After marrying, Mariam goes to Kabul and learns a new way of life with her husband, Rasheed. What fascinates me with Hosseini is that while Rashid is one of the villians of this novel, he is just a man, doing the best he can given his own upbringing and limitations. In a sense, he is “everyman”, the strutting, domineering, sometimes brutal and abusive husband we find in every culture. But Hosseini also gives him transient bouts of kindness which blow through a little less often than the transient bouts of cruelty.

He also gives us good men, in this book, in the person of Jalil, the father of Mariam, who steps up to the plate in acknowledging Mariam and supporting her and her mother, but fails to nurture in the very real way women need nurturing from their fathers in order to reach their full potential in life. Hosseini also gives us a very strong man in the book, Tariq, who, although he has only one leg, is more wholly a man than any other man in the book. I imagine that this is not unintentional. (How Kissingerian is that for a double negative?!)

Written almost entirely in the Afghan world of women, we see through the eyes of Mariam, and later Leila, the transitions in Afghanistan and their impacts on daily life. We experience happiness with them, and peaceful scenes in quiet moments, raising the children, stepping outside into the garden at night to share a cup of tea and a shared bowl of halwa.

Between the moments of peacefulness, we also experience incoming morter rounds, explosions, marauding bands of warlords, and starvation. We go into a women’s hospital under Taliban control, where there are no medications, no running water, no instruments, and an Afghani female doctor does a C-section with no anaesthesia and is required to keep her burqa on. We watch a mother abandon her role and take to her bed when her two sons are killed fighting the Soviets, we experience betrayal and we experience helplessness, and we experience a Kabul women’s prison. A Thousand Splendid Suns is a rich feast of experiences, juxtaposing the everyday chores of women around the world – cooking, raising children, laundry – with events on the world stage.

(Available from Amazon for $14.27 plus shipping.)

September 20, 2007 Posted by | Adventure, Books, Bureaucracy, Community, Cross Cultural, Family Issues, Fiction, Friends & Friendship, Living Conditions, Marriage, Poetry/Literature, Political Issues, Relationships, Social Issues, Women's Issues | 21 Comments

OJ Simpson Charged Again

And speaking of idiots, if you’ve committed a double murder and gotten away with it, why would you be so arrogant as to keep having run-ins with the cops? No matter how good the lawyers are that you hire, one day your luck runs out. With all my heart, I am hoping that this is the day for OJ Simpson.

God willing, your criminal arrogance will trip you.

The following is from CNN News, where you can read the entire story.

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LAS VEGAS, Nevada (CNN) — Prosecutors on Tuesday filed numerous criminal charges against former NFL star O.J. Simpson and three other men in connection with an alleged armed robbery at a Las Vegas hotel last week.

The 11 charges include two counts of first-degree kidnapping with use of a deadly weapon; two counts of robbery with a deadly weapon; and two counts of assault with a deadly weapon.

Prosecutors say Simpson and his co-defendants — Walter Alexander, Clarence Stewart and Michael McClinton — committed kidnapping because they intended to hold or detain the two alleged victims using a weapon.

September 19, 2007 Posted by | Bureaucracy, Community, Crime, Locard Exchange Principal, News, Rants, Relationships | 6 Comments

Improvements in Hell

(Our son hates lawyer jokes. Skip this one, Law N Order Man!)

An engineer died and ended up in Hell. He was not pleased with the level of comfort in Hell, and began to redesign and build improvements. After awhile, they had toilets that flush, air conditioning, and escalators. Everyone grew very fond of him.

One day God called to Satan to mock him, “So, how’s it going down there in Hell?”

Satan replied, “Hey, things are great. We’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there’s no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next.” God was surprised, “What? You’ve got an engineer? That’s a mistake. He should never have gotten down there in the first place. Send him back up here.”

“No way,” replied Satan. “I like having an engineer, and I’m keeping him.”

God threatened, “Send him back up here now or I’ll sue!”

Satan laughed and answered, “Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?”

September 19, 2007 Posted by | Bureaucracy, Humor, Joke, Living Conditions | 6 Comments