Helping Others, Help Yourself
I found this article this morning in an e-mail from Bottom Line, and it rings true to me. When AdventureMan was in the military, there were social events I was obligated to attend. I often felt so much reluctance I just wanted to go to bed; just the thought of the events made me tired. Then I discovered a secret – when I got there, to look for someone shy, and to go over and talk with them. There was always someone, and it made all the difference – to me!
It feels good to be a Good Samaritan, of course. But there’s more to the story—because science reveals that being of service to others brings numerous health benefits. Maria E. Pagano, PhD, an associate professor of psychiatry at Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine in Cleveland, has investigated the helper therapy principle (HTP), which is based on the concept that when people help others, they are also helping themselves—particularly when the helper and the recipient of that help share a common malady. Alcoholism Treatment Quarterly published her recent review article on the topic. Among the evidence cited were studies showing that…
- People with chronic pain who counseled other pain patients reported a significant decrease in their own symptoms of pain and depression.
- Multiple sclerosis (MS) patients who were trained to have monthly 15-minute supportive phone conversations with other MS sufferers showed improvement in self-confidence and self-esteem as well as reduced depression.
- Alcoholics who helped other alcoholics were almost twice as likely to stay sober in the year following treatment…had lowered levels of depression in the three months after they started helping other alcoholics…and had significantly improved self-image. Dr. Pagano explained, “Helping others with a desire to live sober transforms the helper’s dark past and pain to greater good and enables him or her to be uniquely helpful to a fellow sufferer.”
While service to fellow sufferers is a cornerstone of 12-step programs of recovery, such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Dr. Pagano noted that it is not necessary to share a common health problem in order to benefit from doing good. For instance, helping others in general has been linked with longer life, less depression, higher self-esteem and greater life satisfaction.
Bottom line: For a “helper’s high” and a significant health boost, lend a helping hand to someone in need.
Maria E. Pagano, PhD, is a psychologist and an associate professor of psychiatry at Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine in Cleveland. She also is a recipient of a career development award funded by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. www.HelpingOthersLiveSober.org
US Navy Rescues Iranian Fishermen from Somali Pirates
I love this story. I found it on AOL News / Huffington Post; it’s an Associated Press Story.:
WASHINGTON — The political tensions between the U.S. and Iran over transit in and around the Persian Gulf gave way Friday to photos of rescued Iranian fisherman happily wearing American Navy ball caps.
The fishermen were rescued by a U.S. Navy destroyer Thursday, more than 40 days after their boat was commandeered by suspected Somali pirates in the northern Arabian Sea. The rescue came just days after Tehran warned the U.S. to keep its warships out of the Persian Gulf – an irony not lost on U.S. officials who trumpeted the news on Friday.
“We think it’s very doubtful that the Iranians or the pirates were aware of recent events of the last couple days,” Rear Adm. Craig S. Faller, commander of the U.S. Navy Carrier Strike Group involved in the rescue, told reporters by phone Friday. “Once we released them (the fishermen) today they went on their way very happily, I might add, waving to us wearing USS Kidd Navy ball caps.”
Faller, speaking from the aircraft carrier USS John C. Stennis in the Arabian Sea, said the fishermen, who had been living off the fish they could catch, expressed their thanks and are believed to be headed back to their homeport in Iran.
The rescue was carried out by American forces flying off the guided-missile destroyer USS Kidd, after crew on the Iranian fishing vessel, the Al Molai, made it clear they were in trouble.
The USS Kidd, part of the Stennis carrier group, was sailing in the Arabian Sea, after leaving the Persian Gulf, when it came to the sailors’ aid. It was alerted to the hostage situation when the captain of the fishing boat spoke by radio to the Americans in Urdu – a Pakistani dialect that he hoped the pirates near him would not understand – and managed to convey that he needed help.
A U.S. Navy team helicoptered to the ship, boarded it without any resistance, and detained 15 suspected Somali pirates. They had been holding the 13-member Iranian crew hostage and were using the boat as a “mother ship” for pirating operations in the Persian Gulf.
“They were scared,” U.S. Navy Cmdr. Jennifer L. Ellinger, commander of the USS Kidd, said of the Iranians. “They pleaded with us to come over and board their vessel, invited us to come over. And we reassured them that we would be on our way.”
Amid escalating tensions with Tehran, the Obama administration reveled in delivering the news.
“This is an incredible story. This is a great story,” State Department spokeswoman Victoria Nuland said, explaining that the very same American ships the Islamic republic protested for recently traveling through the Strait of Hormuz were responsible for the Iranian vessel’s recovery.
“They were obviously very grateful to be rescued from these pirates,” Nuland said.
The episode occurred after a week of hostile rhetoric from Iranian leaders, including a statement by Iran’s Army chief that American vessels are no longer welcome in the Gulf. Iran also warned it could block the Strait of Hormuz, the strategic waterway that carries to market much of the oil pumped in the Middle East.
The Iranian threats, which were brushed aside by the Obama administration, were in response to strong economic sanctions against Iran over its disputed nuclear enrichment program. Last week, President Barack Obama signed into law new sanctions targeting Iran’s Central Bank and its ability to sell petroleum abroad.
According to Faller and Ellinger, the incident began Thursday morning when the Navy got a distress call from a Bahamian-flagged ship, and saw six individuals in a small boat next to it, throwing what appeared to be weapons into the water. They checked but found no evidence of piracy, so they released the small boat, but followed it by helicopter.
The small boat headed back to the Iranian-flagged ship, where U.S. Navy officials said it looked like there were both Middle Eastern and Somali on board.
The radio conversation with the Iranian captain made it clear his crew was under duress, so the USS Kidd launched a Navy search and seizure team. The suspected pirates hid on the ship, but the Iranian crew told the team where they were, Ellinger said, adding that the pirates surrendered quickly.
“The Al Molai had been taken over by pirates for roughly the last 40-45 days,” said Josh Schminsky, a Navy Criminal Investigative Service agent aboard the Kidd. “They were held hostage, with limited rations, and we believe were forced against their will to assist the pirates with other piracy operations.”
Schminsky said the Iranian boat’s captain thanked the U.S. for assistance. “He was afraid that without our help, they could have been there for months,” Schminsky said in a prepared release.
The U.S. team gave the crew food, water and medical care, and on Friday morning they moved the captured pirates to the Stennis. They will remain there while the U.S. considers options for prosecution and consults with other nations that have joined forces against piracy.
“Sadly, this is not a new thing,” Nuland told reporters, citing more than 1,000 pirates picked up at sea who are under prosecution in some 20 countries. “So this is always a question of where to send them and who will do the prosecution.”
Asked if the rescue mission could provide a chance for a thaw in relations with Iran, Nuland declined to comment. She said the Navy had made a “humanitarian gesture” to take the Iranians onboard, feed them and ensure they were in good health before setting them off. She said the U.S. and Iranian governments have had no direct contact over the incident.
Defense Secretary Leon Panetta called Faller on Friday to congratulate him on the rescue, adding that, “When we get a distress signal, we’re going to respond. That’s the nature of what our country is all about.”
Insecure
How can I be this ripe old age and still suffer from insecurity? Thanks be to God, it isn’t often, actually only a couple situations. I always joke that when I visit my Mom, I gain ten pounds on the way, and feel huge as I waddle off the plane. Flying back home, those new pounds miraculously disappear. I know it is all in my imagination, and knowing that doesn’t help.
There is a competition coming up, a quilt show, and I am trying to get a couple entries ready. One design I knew would be a snap, I’ve done all the various parts a hundred times before (well, many times anyway) but this time I am painfully aware if points don’t match up or placement is not perfect. It is costing me time, crucial time for the preparations, as I rip out and re-do, sigh, rip out again and re-do. Just when I think I have it licked, I see something else that needs a re-do.
I know that the problem is that I am looking with a critical eye of the most critical judge. Most of the time my quilts are for babies, or friends, or family, and while they may be flawed, my family and friends love me and love my quilts, and they live happily ever after. It’s only when I know the quilts will be compared to other quilts, other, more painstaking and meticulous quilters, that I start to quail and flounder.
When I teach, I tell my students “this is supposed to be fun! Have fun with it! If you struggle too long, set it aside and come back; a solution will appear.” I teach tricks to cover flaws, I build their self-confidence, I show them how to attain ‘good enough’.
I am my own worst critic. I just have to fight discouragement and defeat at the hands of my inner critic.
(The quilt at the top is not one of the entries; it is a quilt I did for an earlier competition.)
Adult Bullies: They’re Everywhere
How to Deal With Adult Bullies
From bulldozer bosses to pushy neighbors, bullying continues long beyond the playground years. Here’s how to recognize a full-blown, fully-grown bully – and what to do about it.
When you hear the world “bully,” what comes to mind — a pre-teen ruffian who’s constantly picking on the neighborhood wimp?
Actually, bullying lasts well into adulthood — and instead of the playground, the abuse is most likely to occur in the workplace. A recent survey of American workers found that more than 41 percent of them had experienced some form of bullying at work in the past year; 13 percent of them were bullied on a weekly basis. “Often, adult bullying occurs between bosses and employees,” explains Irina Firstein, LCSW, a relationship counselor in New York City.
But that’s not all: Many adults find themselves emotionally tormented by fellow employees, nasty neighbors, aggressive friends, and even their spouse, says Firstein.
No matter who’s doing the antagonizing, the effects of bullying can be extremely damaging psychologically. Here’s what you should know about adult bullies.
How to Spot a Grownup Bully
A recent Iowa State University study found that childhood bullies may very well grow into adult bullies. Of the participants, those with a history of childhood bullying were six times more likely to get in a fight and two and a half times more likely to threaten someone than those without a bullying past.
“Adult bullies tend to be opinionated, judgmental, and coercive,” says Katherine Krefft, PhD, a practicing psychologist in Buzzards Bay, Mass. “If a person repeatedly makes you feel intimidated or humiliated, you are probably dealing with a bully.”
These people tend to:
- Abuse a position of power.
- Repeatedly give undeserved criticism.
- Use verbal or physical abuse.
- Have excessive and unrealistic expectations.
- Repeat insults or threats.
- Abuse the rights and dignity of others.
The Toll Bullying Takes on the Victim
“Repeated bullying — whether it occurs between bosses and employees, between spouses, or in any adult relationship — is a form of traumatic stress that is toxic to one’s emotional health,” says Firstein. In fact, the effects of bullying have been linked to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), a trauma-induced anxiety disorder.
In addition, bullying victims may experience:
- Anxiety and depression
- Loss of self-confidence or self-esteem
- Fearfulness
- Financial losses from missed work
- Sleep disturbance
- Aches and pains
- Digestive disturbances
How to Put an End to the Abuse
The worst thing you can do if you’re being bullied? Ignore it.
“The reason child bullies grow up to be adult bullies is because the behavior is repeated and reinforced,” warns Krefft. If not confronted, a bully will likely continue his antagonizing ways.
Here’s what you can do:
- Recognize that being bullied is something no one deserves.
- Document the bullying behavior as well as you can.
- Try to have witnesses to support you.
- Seek help from an appropriate authority.
Never try to retaliate directly, says Krefft. The proper authority will depend on the situation: If at work, your employee handbook or HR department may identify the right person in your workplace to talk to. If you have been physically threatened or attacked, you may want to go to the police.
Could You Be the Bully?
What if you’re the browbeater? In a national survey on bullying, 6 percent of adults admitted to picking on others.
If you’re constantly taunting others, enjoying other people’s discomfort, have trouble controlling destructive behavior, take out your anger on others, or have threatened other people, you could have a bullying problem. Other warnings signs include frequent lying and fighting.
Whether you are the bully or the bullied, it is important to recognize it and take steps to stop it. If not, it could continue on a destructive path, affecting the emotional health of everyone it touches.
From AOL Health News
Teach Your Teen to Negotiate
I found this article on the National Public Radio Health Page; with the title Why a Teen Who Talks Back may have a Bright Future. It has to do with teaching your teen to talk problems through confidently; researchers found teens who could express themselves confidently had a greater likelihood of turning down offers of illegal drugs or behaviors.
It is interesting to me, too, that the Dutch who had the courage to shelter the Jews during the Holocaust were those who had learned to think independently as teenagers.
If you’re the parent of a teenager, you likely find yourself routinely embroiled in disputes with your child. Those disputes are the symbol of teen developmental separation from parents.
It’s a vital part of growing up, but it can be extraordinarily wearing on parents. Now researchers suggest that those spats can be tamed and, in the process, provide a lifelong benefit to children.
Researchers from the University of Virginia recently published their findings in the journal Child Development. Psychologist Joseph P. Allen headed the study.
Allen says almost all parents and teenagers argue. But it’s the quality of the arguments that makes all the difference.
“We tell parents to think of those arguments not as nuisance but as a critical training ground,” he says. Such arguments, he says, are actually mini life lessons in how to disagree — a necessary skill later on in life with partners, friends and colleagues on the job.
Teens should be rewarded when arguing calmly and persuasively and not when they indulge in yelling, whining, threats or insults, he says.
In Allen’s study, 157 13-year-olds were videotaped describing their biggest disagreement with their parents. The most common arguments were over grades, chores, money and friends. The tape was then played for both parent and teen.
“Parents reacted in a whole variety of ways. Some of them laughed uncomfortably; some rolled their eyes; and a number of them dove right in and said, ‘OK, let’s talk about this,'” he says.
It was the parents who said wanted to talk who were on the right track, says Allen. “We found that what a teen learned in handling these kinds of disagreements with their parents was exactly what they took into their peer world,” with all its pressures to conform to risky behavior like drugs and alcohol.
Allen interviewed the teens again at ages 15 and 16. “The teens who learned to be calm and confident and persuasive with their parents acted the same way when they were with their peers,” he says. They were able to confidently disagree, saying ‘no’ when offered alcohol or drugs. In fact, they were 40 percent more likely to say ‘no’ than kids who didn’t argue with their parents.
For other kids, it was an entirely different story. “They would back down right away,” says Allen, saying they felt it pointless to argue with their parents. This kind of passivity was taken directly into peer groups, where these teens were more likely to acquiesce when offered drugs or alcohol. “These were the teens we worried about,” he says.
Bottom line: Effective arguing acted as something of an inoculation against negative peer pressure. Kids who felt confident to express themselves to their parents also felt confident being honest with their friends.
So, ironically the best thing parents can do is help their teenager argue more effectively. For this, Allen offers one word: listen.
In the study, when parents listened to their kids, their kids listened back. They didn’t necessarily always agree, he says. But if one or the other made a good point, they would acknowledge that point. “They weren’t just trying to fight each other at every step and wear each other down. They were really trying to persuade the other person.”
Acceptable argument might go something like this: ‘How about if my curfew’s a half hour later but I agree that I’ll text you or I’ll agree that I’ll stay in certain places and you’ll know where I’ll be; or how about I prove to you I can handle it for three weeks before we make a final decision about it.”
Again, parents won’t necessarily agree. But “they’ll get across the message that they take their kids point of view seriously and honestly consider what they have to say,” Allen says.
Child psychologist Richard Weissbourd says the findings bolster earlier research that finds that “parents who really respect their kids’ thinking and their kids’ input are much more likely to have kids who end up being independent thinkers and who are able to resist peer groups.”
Weissbourd points to one dramatic study that analyzed parental relationships of Dutch citizens who ended up protecting Jews during World War II. They were parents who encouraged independent thinking, even if it differed from their own.
So the next time your teenager huffs and puffs and starts to argue, you might just step back for a minute, take a breath yourself, and try to listen. It may be one of the best lessons you teach your child.
The Tourist; Olen Steinhauer
Haven’t I read this book before? Or didn’t I see a movie, The American, with George Clooney? You know, depressed assassin? Thinking about suicide? In some villa along the Mediterranean or is it the Adriatic? Some enigmatic handler, and who do you trust? And then The Tourist swerves off in another direction and while this particular thread of plot is new, it still seems vintage LeCarre, only maybe a little less solid information. Lots of jumping from place to place with little motivation, lots of shifts in trust, and betrayals.
While I like books where reality keeps shifting, this one had a few too many shifts for me. I have a feeling that spying is a lot less about fast cars and shooting someone so they won’t give away a secret, and lot more about the dull, painstaking work of stitching together swatches of information in ways that form a meaningful pattern, trying hard not to create patterns that don’t exist. I imagine that there is a big problem today with the huge volume of information, sifting through to figure out what matters, and what is mere distraction.
This book is a good airplane read, holds the interest, but give me LeCarre for the grim grey world of spies and their work any day.
Kisses From Katie by Katie Davis
This is a photo from Katie’s blog: Kisses From Katie.
Do you believe in God? Do you believe that God believes in you? Then how do you live your life? Do you commit 100% to God and trust him to provide as you leave all your riches behind and follow him, serving the poorest of the poor, speaking for those who have no voices?
I will warn you, this unforgettable book has a lot of talk about God in it. A part of me watches in horror, wondering how long Katie can continue to serve God with all her heart, with all her soul, and with all her mind? How long she can work against all odds, trusting in God to lift her and provide for her and her children. This is a true story, an ongoing life. A part of me fears a terrible crash, but the greater part of me prays for Katie, and stands in awe of her courage and her commitment.
I don’t know who told me about Kisses for Katie, the blog. As soon as I started reading it, I was addicted.
Now for the shocker: Katie is only 23 years old. A year before she graduated from high school, she felt an undeniable call to do a 6 week mission teaching in a school in one of the poorest parts of Uganda. At the end of her six weeks, she couldn’t bear to leave. She returned, finished out her senior year in high school (HIGH SCHOOL!) but she never felt entirely ‘home,’ her heart was with the children of Uganda, the poorest of the poor.
Although her parents had her doubts, the strength and consistency of Katie’s belief that she was called to serve in Africa brought them around, and they agreed she could go work for a year in this small, poor village, before starting university. At eighteen, Katie was teaching, raising money for food, tuition and uniforms for over 100 children, and working to prepare all the meals, bathe all the children, and teach them about the love of Jesus.
When I saw, a month ago, that Katie had a book published, I had to buy it. Kisses from Katie is inspirational and unforgettable. Her story continues on her blog, but the book lays all the groundwork, the heartaches and the joys, the delights of her 13 adopted daughters, the horrors of the Ugandan bureaucracy, Katie’s dogged day-by-day fight to claim and save lives. She is a remarkable young woman, powered by an awesome God.
If Katie were going to burn out, I think it would have happened earlier, as she suffered terrible disappointments, and made truly amazing sacrifices to raise her girls, to be their “mommy” and to insure the educations of over a hundred children. With a growing foundation, Amazina, and a growing group of contributors, she carries on, and the miracle of this book is that she doesn’t seem to sense the amazing woman that she is at all, she seems to believe that she is a simple woman following God’s will for her life, and reveling in it, joyfully surrounded by her 13 adopted daughters and frequent foster babies. She feels blessed to have the life that God created her to live.
I stand in awe.
You can order this book from Amazon.com for $12.49 plus shipping. It might even change your life, or how you view your life. Yes, I own stock in Amazon.com. No, I make no money from recommending this book. 🙂
Who Gets Into Heaven?
Today at Christ Church in Pensacola, when Father Neal Goldsborough gave the sermon, I had a very un-churchlike urge to get up and dance for joy. He was preaching on Matthew 25: 31 – 46, where Christ the King sits in majesty and judges who will have the kingdom of heaven, and who will burn in the lake of fire.
Here was today’s reading:
Matthew 25:31-46
New International Version (NIV)
The Sheep and the Goats
31 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.
34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’
44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’
45 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’
46 “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”
When he started out, I was a little nervous, because I was afraid he was going to talk about the fat sheep and the thin sheep, but that was the reading from Ezekiel:
(Ezekiel 34:11-16
New International Version (NIV)
11 “‘For this is what the Sovereign LORD says: I myself will search for my sheep and look after them. 12 As a shepherd looks after his scattered flock when he is with them, so will I look after my sheep. I will rescue them from all the places where they were scattered on a day of clouds and darkness. 13 I will bring them out from the nations and gather them from the countries, and I will bring them into their own land. I will pasture them on the mountains of Israel, in the ravines and in all the settlements in the land. 14 I will tend them in a good pasture, and the mountain heights of Israel will be their grazing land. There they will lie down in good grazing land, and there they will feed in a rich pasture on the mountains of Israel. 15 I myself will tend my sheep and have them lie down, declares the Sovereign LORD. 16 I will search for the lost and bring back the strays. I will bind up the injured and strengthen the weak, but the sleek and the strong I will destroy. I will shepherd the flock with justice.
20 “‘Therefore this is what the Sovereign LORD says to them: See, I myself will judge between the fat sheep and the lean sheep. 21 Because you shove with flank and shoulder, butting all the weak sheep with your horns until you have driven them away, 22 I will save my flock, and they will no longer be plundered. I will judge between one sheep and another. 23 I will place over them one shepherd, my servant David, and he will tend them; he will tend them and be their shepherd. 24 I the LORD will be their God, and my servant David will be prince among them. I the LORD have spoken.
Since I might be mistaken for one of the fatter sheep, you can understand why I was a little nervous. Also, I had a huge “AHA!” moment living in Jordan, as the shepherd and his sheep and goats passed by my house daily. The sheep were incredibly stupid, but they trusted their shepherd, and the shepherd took good care of them. While they were excavating channels to put in underground pipes in our area, I watched the shepherd carry each sheep across the little wooden walk way, because they were too afraid to do it on their own. The goats would do it, but I still wouldn’t want to be a goat. I don’t really want to be a sheep either.
And I digress.
Here’s what Father Neal said about our gospel reading. He said Jesus doesn’t say you have to have invited him into your heart. He said that if you feed the hungry, give some water to the thirsty, welcome the stranger, clothe the needy, look after the sick and visit those in prison, ypu’re in. You’re righteous.
It’s exactly what I’ve been looking for, something scriptural to support what my heart knows – that there are those who are not Christians who are going to be in the kingdom of heaven, too. It’s not a matter of saying these words or those words, or believing exactly as “they” tell us we must believe, it is a matter of serving the king by tending to and serving his sheep. He LOVES the least of these. It gives me hope; even I might have a chance of inclusion.
Jesus Loves the Little Children
There are many times Jesus speaks obliquely, using an analogy to convey the message, and his disciples have trouble understanding. This time, Jesus speaks very clearly, telling his disciples that the most humble child will enter heaven, and that anyone who causes that child to lose innocence and belief is in big trouble.
I think of my little grandson. Since he was born, I have been singing to him a song I learned in my childhood, “Jesus Loves the Little Children, all the little children of the world, red and yellow, black and white, we are precious in his sight, Jesus loves the little children of the world.”
Matthew 18:1-9
18 At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, ‘Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?’ 2 He called a child, whom he put among them, 3 and said, ‘Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5 Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.
6 ‘If any of you put a stumbling-block before one of these little ones who believe in me, it would be better for you if a great millstone were fastened around your neck and you were drowned in the depth of the sea. 7 Woe to the world because of stumbling-blocks! Occasions for stumbling are bound to come, but woe to the one by whom the stumbling-block comes!
8 ‘If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away; it is better for you to enter life maimed or lame than to have two hands or two feet and to be thrown into the eternal fire. 9 And if your eye causes you to stumble, tear it out and throw it away; it is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and to be thrown into the hell of fire.
Law and Order SVU: How Did They Know and When Did They Know It?
What a tragedy. Joe Paterno, fired in disgrace. Joe Paterno, the much admired, the Penn State football coach who embodied integrity, fired, disgraced. “What did he know and when did he know it?” people ask.
What astonishes me is that the situation almost exactly parallels a recent episode of Law and Order SVU about which I recently blogged, in September.
In that episode, a much-admired football coach is reported to be preying on young men in his foundation, young men for whom he gave an opportunity to ‘be someone;’ he trained them, gave them motivation and the possibility of a lot of money, fame and good things for their very poor families. His victims were burdened by a debt of gratitude, combined with the shame of male-on-male sex, which they did not want to become public knowledge. The combination of gratitude and shame kept them silent, until one spoke out. It took a lot of courage, but finally, a big star who had come through this depraved coach’s program went public, appeared before the grand jury, and set the example.
The similarities are eerie. In Law and Order, however, the coach who had preyed on young players in the showers and locker rooms did not bring down a highly regarded top-ranking program director, and a university president.
Joe, we are so sorry this has happened to you, and we hope that posterity will recognize that one poor decision is counter-balanced by a lifetime of integrity. We pray that young men victimized by Defensive Coach Jerry Sandusky will come forward, have their voices heard, and be able to move on with their lives, knowing that Sandusky will be punished. We pray for their families, who had no idea what was happening in their sons’ lives. It’s a sad time all the way around.
And thanks be to God, we live in a society where the trustees made the right decision, they fired the men who looked the other way as Sandusky victimized his young men. Thank God, this dirty laundry was not buried away to be forgotten, but brought forward, the perpetrator arrested and shamed publicly. There are times, in this world, when in the interest of the God of football, or the respect of position, when a scandal victimizing the poor and voiceless is shoved under the table, ignored, the victims sent the message that they don’t matter. As bitter as this pill is, I thank God for it, and for the increasing transparency in our society which begins to equalize justice for rich and poor.
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