Here There and Everywhere

Expat wanderer

Qatteri Cat in the Pensacola Sunshine

Haven’t done a shot of the Qatteri Cat for a while, and I am always getting requests. He is sleeping with his Dad (AdventureMan) right now, keeping him company while he takes his JetLag Nap.

Here’s a shot from earlier in the day. We get the early morning sunshine, and the QC takes his morning sunbath, watching the world go by:

He is losing a little weight, slowly, the way the vet recommended. When you know how many people in the world are going hungry, it is obscene what a Diet Cat food costs. 😦 The QC now weighs under 20 lbs; this is a good thing.

This is a tiny little Qatteri street cat, found wandering, cold and hungry, with an eye infection, on the Corniche in Qatar about 7 years ago. We have promised him no more long airplane trips; it was just too traumatic for him. But – that was yesterday. As long as the sun is shining and the Qatteri Cat is warm, hey, life is good. 🙂

April 13, 2010 Posted by | Aging, Character, Diet / Weight Loss, Doha, ExPat Life, Florida, Food, Pets, Qatar, Qatteri Cat | 5 Comments

Tampa Grapples with Dog Poo

When former suburbanites move back to the city, they bring their dogs with them. The city of Tampa is having to re-educate dog owners to clean up after their pets.

“It’s the LAW!” LLOOLL

I’ve lived in communities where Dog Poo has been a problem. It helps to know your neighbors. When you know your neighbors you are more considerate. There needs to be a downtown Tampa Neighborhood Association that helps people do the right thing because they want to get along with their neighbors. 🙂

From AOL Housing Watch

When the housing market finally improves in this country, is a lot more poo in the streets all we really have to look forward to?

That particular reward came along with a booming housing market in downtown Tampa, Florida. Buyers have snatched up condos and rental units in recent months, after prices were pummeled by the housing market collapse. The area’s population has zipped from almost zero to some 3,000 residents, Paul Ayres, the director of marketing for the Tampa Downtown Partnership, tells a local website.

It turns out that a lot of these new downtown residents have brought their pets with them — along with a pretty inconsiderate attitude toward their new neighbors. Now, Tampa is grappling with a virtual explosion of dog poo.
It’s a nuisance for residents who must dodge errant dog poo like landmines. But it’s also a health issue, since the feces can end up being washed down storm sewers and into water systems without being treated, as a recent Tampa Tribune article points out.

To combat the problem, new Pooch Stations — plastic bag dispensers and bins where pet owners can dispose of the package — are being set up in downtown Tampa. Postcards are also being handed out to remind folks to pick up after their animals. “When your pet has finished its business, do yours by cleaning it up! It’s the law!” scold the cards.

Of course, there are fines of $150 for not cleaning up after your pet, but they are rarely enforced.

In some cases, downtown property managers have started issuing fines to to tenants in the their buildings who refuse to pick up their dog’s droppings, according to the Tampa Tribune.

Lynda Remund, director of district operations at the Tampa Downtown Partnership, told the paper, “We’ve have guides who have witnessed this happening and told the owner to clean it up, only to be told that, ‘It’s your job to clean it up!'”

“Well,” replies Remund, “guess what? It’s not!”

Somehow, as the nation struggles to heal its housing market, I find it difficult to think that the folks at Treasury or FHA or the too-big-to-fail banks are giving much thought to the potential poo problem that has arisen in downtown Tampa. Maybe they should. Who better than our government officials and esteemed CEOs to deal with poo?

Charles Feldman is a journalist, media consultant and co-author of the book, “No Time To Think-The Menace of Media Speed and the 24-hour News Cycle.” He has written about real -estate related issues for several years. This is his very first post about poo!

April 2, 2010 Posted by | Character, Civility, Community, Cultural, Florida, Interconnected, Living Conditions, Values | Leave a comment

The Kindness of Strangers

Things have started off well in Pensacola. My second day in town, I made it to church, and discovered that the church is involved with gathering food for the poor, something I like doing, too. They are also celebrating the church in Jerusalem and the Middle East on Palm Sunday, which I find a sort of fortuitous omen, since here I am, coming in from the Middle East.

Monday, we bought the house. We really did buy it, even though it was me signing the papers. Now that I think of it, that’s the way it has been with just about every house we have bought – I have gone ahead to sign the papers and AdventureMan has followed later . . .

The previous owner of the house did some really kind, really generous things. He left a screen for the fireplace that is sort of Art Nouveau, my favorite period, and I really like it. It sounds like a small thing, but he put a full roll of toilet paper in every bathroom. He left all the instruction manuals for all the appliances, and left notes on the remotes, explaining which was which. I found all of this very kind, unexpectedly kind, and generous of spirit.

The contractors who are going to rewire and then restore the house are contractor nerds. You do know how much I like nerds, don’t you? Nerds are people who are probably ‘uncool’ because they have a fascination with something, and don’t care what you think about it. One of these guys is an electrician nerd, and the other is a general contractor nerd, and once they start talking, I (the customer) am almost irrelevant. These guys have listened to what I want, they know what I need, they have asked all the right questions, and then the two of them start talking in their own language (contractor language; it’s English but barely intelligible to folk like me) and they are trying as hard as they can to get AdventureMan and Qatteri Cat and me into the house as soon as possible. These are honest guys, who love the work they are doing, and I feel so blessed to have them in my life.

In fact, I met my realtor because she is married to the contractor guy. I found him on the internet when I needed some work done on my other Pensacola house. He had a valid license, and no complaints. When I interviewed him, my son and husband were also present, and we all agreed, some how we had lucked out. This man was straight forward, and honest. When he told us how much it would cost, we gulped, but he got all the work done on time, and on budget. How cool is that?

His wife spent hours and days and weeks with us, showing us huge numbers of houses, from the amazing to the disgusting. She said she would find the right house for us, and – she did! It is close to our son and his wife without being too close, it is close to church, close to shopping and not far at all from the glorious Pensacola beaches. Woo HOOO on her!

Yesterday, I bought the Rav4. It was so boring, so uneventful, I totally loved it. Who needs new car drama? The car is enough, I don’t want drama! These people were so good to me – they arranged for me to drop my car off near their dealership, which is about an hour from Pensacola (YES! YES, I would drive an hour for the kind of service I got – I got the car I wanted at almost the exact price I was willing to pay) and they picked me up, went through all the formalities, did not try to stick me with any extra charges, in fact I ended up paying $6 less than I thought. They demo’d the new features, handed me the keys and sent me off with a full tank of gas. It was a great way to buy a car, and I love my new car.

Today, I needed to buy book cases. The one rule of moving in is that it goes smoothly IF you have places to put things, which in our case means book cases. I use them for books, yes, but also for fabric storage, sometimes to display photos, sometimes to divide rooms, or to store sweaters and underclothes and things I want to be able to see where they are.

I knew where I had seem book cases at an amazing price, but they didn’t have six in the finish (maple) that I wanted, so a kind woman working there checked local inventories and sent me off to the next store, where they found the six, loaded them on a trolley and a strong young man loaded them into my car. When I tried to tip him, he gasped and pulled back and said “No! No! I’m not allowed to accept tips! I could get FIRED if I took a tip!”

This is not what I am used to!

All in all, people have been amazingly kind, and it seems to happen a lot.

There is one very funny thing I notice about myself, now four days in Pensacola. That is, I cannot go into a grocery store and come out with just what I went in for. The prices here are so GOOD! I keep thinking in Kuwaiti Dinars, or Qatari Riyals, and I think “I might never see tuna fish at that price again!” or “Look at the price on those eggs!” and even though the RATIONAL part of my brain keeps saying “Wait! Wait! You’re in the United States now!” the reality has not yet permeated my buying mode enough to restrain me. I have zero sales resistance. I really just need to stay out of the stores until I can build some resistance up.

At the end of every day I get to come home to my son and his wife and their little baby son, and life is sweet, except that we all wish AdventureMan would hurry and come and join us. And bring the Qateri Cat!

March 24, 2010 Posted by | Adventure, Bureaucracy, Character, Civility, Community, Cross Cultural, Customer Service, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Financial Issues, Florida, Food, Generational, Living Conditions, Marriage, Qatteri Cat, Shopping, Social Issues, Values, Work Related Issues | 5 Comments

Who Is the Terrorist?

Sent by my Kuwaiti friend; I almost died laughing and I hope you will, too:

March 21, 2010 Posted by | Bureaucracy, Character, Communication, Counter-terrorism, Cross Cultural, Customer Service, Humor | 2 Comments

Nujood, Age 10 and Divorced, Supporting Family with Book Proceeds

This tiny little 10 year old girl, who knew she didn’t want to be married, and stuck to her guns, has had a life-long effect, changing the laws in Yemen so that a woman must now be 18 to marry. On the other hand, if the legal age before was age 15, how on earth was she allowed to marry at age 10?

Divorced Before Puberty: Former Child Bride
New Book
by Amy Hatch (Subscribe to Amy Hatch’s posts) Mar 5th 2010 10:30AM

From AOL News: Parenting

Divorced at age 10. Credit: Amazon
Nujood Ali walked into a Yemeni courtroom and asked to see a judge, because she wanted a divorce. This may seem like a common tale of marital dissolution, but Nujood Ali was just 10 years old when she defied the cultural traditions and walked out on the husband who was more than 20 years her senior.

Nujood, now 12, chronicles her journey from child bride to celebrated hero in her new autobiography, “I Am Nujood, Age 10 and Divorced.” Ghostwritten by French newspaper reporter Delphine Minoui, the book details how the young girl shocked citizens of her native Yemen after she walked out on her arranged marriage to a motorcycle delivery man. Nujood’s father married her off to the man for a dowry of $250, and for two months she begged her husband every day to return her to her family.

He refused, and so Nujood decided to take action. One afternoon, when her mother sent her on an errand, Nujood took a bus into the crowded capital city of Sanaa. She then hailed a taxi to the courthouse. Not knowing what else to do, she sat on a bench outside a courtroom all day, until a judge noticed her lingering in the empty hallway. He asked what she needed, and the girl said simply, “I came for a divorce.”

Now, two years later, the girl tells Nicholas D. Kristof of The New York Times that she is back in her home land and is supporting her family with the royalties from her book, which spent five weeks at the top of the bestseller list in France. Her brothers, who once criticized her for shaming their family, seem to have no problem with their sister now that Nujood is the family breadwinner, Kristof writes.

“They’re very nice to her now,” Khadija al-Salami, a filmmaker who mentors Nujood, tells the Times. “They treat her like a queen.”

Nujood’s story isn’t just one in which a single child takes a stand and changes her life. The preteen’s courage set off a domino effect in Yemen, where very young girls are routinely sold into marriage. Following Nujood’s successful divorce petition, two girls, ages 9 and 12, also filed to legally end their marriages. Her ordeal also prompted Yemen’s lawmakers to increase the age of consent for marriage from 15 to 18.

Nujood has been honored and feted by journalists in many countries, and, on a visit to Paris last year, even met with France’s Human Rights Minister, Rama Yada, and Urban Affairs Minister Fadela Amara, with whom she discussed the problem of child marriage.

What are Nujood’s feelings on marriage now? She tells Time magazine she “no longer thinks about marriage.”

March 8, 2010 Posted by | Biography, Books, Character, Cultural, Family Issues, Living Conditions, Marriage, Women's Issues | | 6 Comments

Keep Another’s Confidence

This is from a wonderful website by by Rick Warren, who writes about the Purpose Driven Life and who sends out daily inspirational messages. I love this one.

Connect be keeping someone’s confidence
by Rick Warren
“A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.” Proverbs 11:13 (NIV)

If relationships are going to work, we have to be confidential with information.
Are you the kind of person that someone can trust with confidential information? We tend to think of gossip as one of those little sins, a misdemeanor sin. But when God talks about gossip, He puts it on a list with things like sexual immorality and murder.

Why? Because it is incredibly destructive to relationships.

What is gossip? Gossip is talking about a situation with somebody who is neither a part of the solution nor a part of the problem. And if we’re honest with ourselves, what we’re doing is making ourselves feel a little more important at somebody else’s expense. We’re talking about their hurts and their problems, but in a way that makes us feel a little bit superior to them. That’s the danger and the hurt of gossip.

There’s a story in the Old Testament about a family that struggled with gossip. Moses had a sister name Miriam who one day got caught up in gossiping about Moses amidst the rest of the people. God called them together – Moses and Miriam. He spoke with Miriam and told her what she’d done wrong and immediately He gave her leprosy.

But look at what God did next; he invited Moses to pray for Miriam’s healing – to pray for the one who gossiped against him.

Some of you have been deeply hurt by gossip. The story of Moses and Miriam suggests God would say to you, “Pray for that person’s healing, the one who gossiped against you. That way you can be released from the hurt that’s come into your life.”

Perhaps you’re the one whose been gossiping. You’ve been the one talking about other people. This story is in the Old Testament to remind us how serious gossip is, how hurtful it can be to people no matter what side of the situation you’re on.

The truth is, when you keep confidences it makes your relationships healthier. It enables you to keep connecting with others in positive and genuine way.

What is so interesting to me is that Islam has the same prohibitions against gossip, called back-biting, and puts a high level of prohibition against it. The prophet Mohammed warned against it repeatedly.

I love it that Rick Warren puts it into context by warning that it destroys relationships.

February 28, 2010 Posted by | Character, Charity, Civility, Communication, Community, Cross Cultural, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Friends & Friendship, Health Issues, Interconnected, Living Conditions, Random Musings, Spiritual | Leave a comment

Thing Younger, Act Younger, BE Younger

A couple of my friends and I were trying to figure out why we were friends. What goes into making friendships? One thing that surprised us was that we tended to choose people with some risk-taking behaviors – people who look ‘normal’ and conservative on the outside, but are thinking outside-the-box on the inside. They are thinking all the time, observing and analyzing and making choices that set them aside from others. For one thing, here we are, all living in Qatar – and that is a choice. Our lifestyles are a choice.

Most of my friends are a lot of fun – you would like them. And it might take you a while to figure out we are all total nerds, very uncool people. One of the very coolest sent me this. On the inside, this woman is into EVERYTHING! On the outside, she obeys the conventions. On the inside, she is thinking all the time. 🙂

This study, from BBC News Magazine is amazing. But don’t believe me! Listen to the broadcast! See the movie! Imagine yourself 20 years younger (please! not those of you in your 20’s!) and start acting YOUNGER!

In 1979 psychologist Ellen Langer carried out an experiment to find if changing thought patterns could slow ageing. But the full story of the extraordinary experiment has been hidden until now.

How much control do you have over how you will age?

Many people would laugh at the idea that people could influence the state of their health in old age by positive thinking. A way of mitigating ageing is a holy grail for the pharmaceutical and cosmetics industry, but an experiment by Harvard psychologist Ellen Langer three decades ago could hold significant clues.

Prof Langer has spent her entire career investigating the power our mind has over our health. Conventional medicine is frequently accused of treating them as separate entities.

“Everybody knows in some way that our minds affect our physical being, but I don’t think people are aware of just how profound the effect actually is,” she says.
In 1979, Prof Langer conducted a ground-breaking experiment – the results of which are only now being fully revealed.

Prof Langer recruited a group of elderly men all in their late 70s or 80s for what she described as a “week of reminiscence”. They were not told they were taking part in a study into ageing, an experiment that would transport them 20 years back in time.

The psychologist wanted to know if she could put the mind back 20 years would the body show any changes.

The men were split into two groups. They would both be spending a week at a retreat outside of Boston.

Ellen Langer in 1979 and today
But while the first group, the control, really would be reminiscing about life in the 50s, the other half would be in a timewarp. Surrounded by props from the 50s the experimental group would be asked to act as if it was actually 1959.

They watched films, listened to music from the time and had discussions about Castro marching on Havana and the latest Nasa satellite launch – all in the present tense.

Dr Langer believed she could reconnect their minds with their younger and more vigorous selves by placing them in an environment connected with their own past lives.

And she was determined to remove any prompt for them to behave as anything but healthy individuals. The retreat was not equipped with rails or any gadgets that would help older people. Right from the off she was determined to ensure they looked after themselves.

One man discarded his walking stick

When they got off the bus at the retreat, Prof Langer did not help the men carry their suitcases in. “I told them they could move them an inch at a time, they could unpack them right at the bus and take up a shirt at a time.”

The men were entirely immersed in an era when they were 20 years younger.

Understandably, Prof Langer herself had doubts. “You have to understand, when these people came to see if they could be in the study and they were walking down the hall to get to my office, they looked like they were on their last legs, so much so that I said to my students ‘why are we doing this? It’s too risky’.”

But soon the men were making their own meals. They were making their own choices. They weren’t being treated as incompetent or sick.

Pretty soon she could see a difference. Over the days, Prof Langer began to notice that they were walking faster and their confidence had improved. By the final morning one man had even decided he could do without his walking stick.

As they waited for the bus to return them to Boston, Prof Langer asked one of the men if he would like to play a game of catch, within a few minutes it had turned into an impromptu game of “touch” American football.

The experiment took the men back to 1959

Obviously this kind of anecdotal evidence does not count for much in a study.

But Prof Langer took physiological measurements both before and after the week and found the men improved across the board. Their gait, dexterity, arthritis, speed of movement, cognitive abilities and their memory was all measurably improved.

Their blood pressure dropped and, even more surprisingly, their eyesight and hearing got better. Both groups showed improvements, but the experimental group improved the most.

Think younger, feel younger?
Prof Langer believes that by encouraging the men’s minds to think younger their bodies followed and actually became “younger”.

She first published the scientific data in 1981 but she left out many of the more colourful stories. As a young academic, she feared this might taint the experiment and affect the acceptance of the results.

Now after over 30 years of research into the connection between the mind and the body and with the confidence and conviction of a Harvard professor, she feels she has a fuller story to tell.

“My own view of ageing is that one can, not the rare person but the average person, live a very full life, without infirmity, without loss of memory that is debilitating, without many of the things we fear.”

Richard Wiseman, professor of public understanding of psychology at the University of Hertfordshire, thinks the results of Prof Langer’s experiments are fascinating but the big question is what’s causing them. “I think there could be multiple things going on here and the question is which explanations really hold water.

Why some people age faster than others is mysterious
“Part of it could be self perception, for example if you get people to smile they feel happier. The same could be going on here, by getting people to act younger they feel younger.”

Prof Weisman believes another factor could be motivational, the men are simply trying harder by the end of the week, or it could be similar to hypnotism, where people do better on memory tests because they are told they have a better memory.

Whatever the cause he believes there is a place for the type of positive thinking shown in the study.

“If you take something like heart disease positive thinking can have a role, because while it won’t heal your heart on its own, positive thinking will feed into positive actions like healthy eating or exercise which will help.”

In any event there is likely to be more interest in the 1979 experiment. The retelling of the study has been snapped up by Jennifer Aniston’s new production company, with Aniston tipped to play Prof Langer.

(FIND OUT MORE
Horizon: Don’t Grow Old is available via iPlayer and will be repeated at 0250GMT on BBC One on Tuesday 9 February)

February 27, 2010 Posted by | Adventure, Aging, Character, Doha, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Friends & Friendship, Generational, Health Issues, Interconnected, Kuwait, Living Conditions, Qatar, Relationships, Social Issues, Statistics | 3 Comments

Kisses From Katie

There are so many blogs out there, it’s hard to keep up even with very good ones, blogs which really stand out, blogs which are extraordinary.

My nephew, Earthling’s wife wrote to me about a blog, Kisses from Katie, and urged me to take a look.

This blog is so unusual, so unforgettable for any person who tries to follow God’s purpose for his or her life. This woman walked away from EVERYTHING to serve God’s will, and ended up with 12 children and a grandmother, in Africa.

It’s not like she is a saint. She struggles. She hurts. She works hard with children who are dying, abandoned women, the poorest of the poor. She faces the challenge of raising 12 daughters and all their needs, and special needs. She celebrates their triumphs. She walks her life in utter faith.

I challenge you to read her blog. I challenge you to try to tell me you are not moved. This woman is an inspiration.

Katie works for a group called Amazina and you can learn more about them and their work with orphans and God’s love by clicking on the blue type above.

Thank you, Silver!

February 20, 2010 Posted by | Africa, Beauty, Biography, Blogging, Character, Charity, Community, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Food, Interconnected, Living Conditions, Spiritual, Work Related Issues | 1 Comment

First Things First

“I have some WONDERFUL news for you!” I gushed to AdventureMan when he picked up the call, “I found a third of the last fruitcake in the refrigerator!” I knew he thought he has finished off the fruit cake and that we didn’t have any more.

Pause. Pause. Pause.

“Hello? Hello? Are you there, AdventureMan.”

AdventureMan comes on, his work-a-day brisk, official self.

“When you start a conversation with ‘I have some wonderful news for you'” he says, “the next words out of your mouth really need to be that I am a grandfather.”

LLLLLLOOOOOLLLLLL.

I can’t make that happen any faster than it is going to happen. Baby grandson is now almost a week overdue, and we are waiting, waiting, waiting for him to show up. This is an eagerly awaited arrival.

I guess he is also happy about the fruitcake, but he really wants a grandson! 🙂

February 3, 2010 Posted by | Aging, Biography, Character, Communication, Community, Cultural, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Florida, Generational, Interconnected, Living Conditions, Marriage, Relationships | 3 Comments

Qatteri Cat – ReVisit

So all the way home, I am thinking “I have to be fair.”

It’s one thing to write a post when you are all hurt or annoyed by something, and then another to have to go back and give an update which is more . . . ummm. . .. . balanced.

The Qatteri Cat went back to the vet today for a re-check. He is fine. He didn’t want to go, and told me so all the way there.

The “mean” animal handler was there when I came in. She asked who was coming, and I told her, and she came over and called him a “sweetie,” and was genuinely nice to him, and caring.

When it came time to visit the vet, the QC stepped out of his cage all by himself, and behaved himself like a perfect gentleman. . . err, gentlecat.

I can tell you it is a lot harder to write a post about nothing happening and everyone being nice, than it is to write an emotional post. All the way home, I had to think about what I was going to write, and what came to me was that while I was making excuses for the Qatteri Cat being foul tempered (hungry, hurting, scared) I wasn’t making any allowances for the humans, who have to deal with sick, hungry, hurting, scared animals every day, who have to watch them suffer, and die, and who might be hungry, or tired, or in physical or emotional pain themselves. So . . . for all my own crabbiness, I apologize.

Today was a new day. QC is a well cat, and AdventureMan and I are still waiting for the magic phone call.

February 3, 2010 Posted by | Character, Charity, Civility, Community, Doha, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Interconnected, Living Conditions, Pets, Qatar, Qatteri Cat, Relationships, Work Related Issues | 7 Comments