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Expat wanderer

Thing Younger, Act Younger, BE Younger

A couple of my friends and I were trying to figure out why we were friends. What goes into making friendships? One thing that surprised us was that we tended to choose people with some risk-taking behaviors – people who look ‘normal’ and conservative on the outside, but are thinking outside-the-box on the inside. They are thinking all the time, observing and analyzing and making choices that set them aside from others. For one thing, here we are, all living in Qatar – and that is a choice. Our lifestyles are a choice.

Most of my friends are a lot of fun – you would like them. And it might take you a while to figure out we are all total nerds, very uncool people. One of the very coolest sent me this. On the inside, this woman is into EVERYTHING! On the outside, she obeys the conventions. On the inside, she is thinking all the time. 🙂

This study, from BBC News Magazine is amazing. But don’t believe me! Listen to the broadcast! See the movie! Imagine yourself 20 years younger (please! not those of you in your 20’s!) and start acting YOUNGER!

In 1979 psychologist Ellen Langer carried out an experiment to find if changing thought patterns could slow ageing. But the full story of the extraordinary experiment has been hidden until now.

How much control do you have over how you will age?

Many people would laugh at the idea that people could influence the state of their health in old age by positive thinking. A way of mitigating ageing is a holy grail for the pharmaceutical and cosmetics industry, but an experiment by Harvard psychologist Ellen Langer three decades ago could hold significant clues.

Prof Langer has spent her entire career investigating the power our mind has over our health. Conventional medicine is frequently accused of treating them as separate entities.

“Everybody knows in some way that our minds affect our physical being, but I don’t think people are aware of just how profound the effect actually is,” she says.
In 1979, Prof Langer conducted a ground-breaking experiment – the results of which are only now being fully revealed.

Prof Langer recruited a group of elderly men all in their late 70s or 80s for what she described as a “week of reminiscence”. They were not told they were taking part in a study into ageing, an experiment that would transport them 20 years back in time.

The psychologist wanted to know if she could put the mind back 20 years would the body show any changes.

The men were split into two groups. They would both be spending a week at a retreat outside of Boston.

Ellen Langer in 1979 and today
But while the first group, the control, really would be reminiscing about life in the 50s, the other half would be in a timewarp. Surrounded by props from the 50s the experimental group would be asked to act as if it was actually 1959.

They watched films, listened to music from the time and had discussions about Castro marching on Havana and the latest Nasa satellite launch – all in the present tense.

Dr Langer believed she could reconnect their minds with their younger and more vigorous selves by placing them in an environment connected with their own past lives.

And she was determined to remove any prompt for them to behave as anything but healthy individuals. The retreat was not equipped with rails or any gadgets that would help older people. Right from the off she was determined to ensure they looked after themselves.

One man discarded his walking stick

When they got off the bus at the retreat, Prof Langer did not help the men carry their suitcases in. “I told them they could move them an inch at a time, they could unpack them right at the bus and take up a shirt at a time.”

The men were entirely immersed in an era when they were 20 years younger.

Understandably, Prof Langer herself had doubts. “You have to understand, when these people came to see if they could be in the study and they were walking down the hall to get to my office, they looked like they were on their last legs, so much so that I said to my students ‘why are we doing this? It’s too risky’.”

But soon the men were making their own meals. They were making their own choices. They weren’t being treated as incompetent or sick.

Pretty soon she could see a difference. Over the days, Prof Langer began to notice that they were walking faster and their confidence had improved. By the final morning one man had even decided he could do without his walking stick.

As they waited for the bus to return them to Boston, Prof Langer asked one of the men if he would like to play a game of catch, within a few minutes it had turned into an impromptu game of “touch” American football.

The experiment took the men back to 1959

Obviously this kind of anecdotal evidence does not count for much in a study.

But Prof Langer took physiological measurements both before and after the week and found the men improved across the board. Their gait, dexterity, arthritis, speed of movement, cognitive abilities and their memory was all measurably improved.

Their blood pressure dropped and, even more surprisingly, their eyesight and hearing got better. Both groups showed improvements, but the experimental group improved the most.

Think younger, feel younger?
Prof Langer believes that by encouraging the men’s minds to think younger their bodies followed and actually became “younger”.

She first published the scientific data in 1981 but she left out many of the more colourful stories. As a young academic, she feared this might taint the experiment and affect the acceptance of the results.

Now after over 30 years of research into the connection between the mind and the body and with the confidence and conviction of a Harvard professor, she feels she has a fuller story to tell.

“My own view of ageing is that one can, not the rare person but the average person, live a very full life, without infirmity, without loss of memory that is debilitating, without many of the things we fear.”

Richard Wiseman, professor of public understanding of psychology at the University of Hertfordshire, thinks the results of Prof Langer’s experiments are fascinating but the big question is what’s causing them. “I think there could be multiple things going on here and the question is which explanations really hold water.

Why some people age faster than others is mysterious
“Part of it could be self perception, for example if you get people to smile they feel happier. The same could be going on here, by getting people to act younger they feel younger.”

Prof Weisman believes another factor could be motivational, the men are simply trying harder by the end of the week, or it could be similar to hypnotism, where people do better on memory tests because they are told they have a better memory.

Whatever the cause he believes there is a place for the type of positive thinking shown in the study.

“If you take something like heart disease positive thinking can have a role, because while it won’t heal your heart on its own, positive thinking will feed into positive actions like healthy eating or exercise which will help.”

In any event there is likely to be more interest in the 1979 experiment. The retelling of the study has been snapped up by Jennifer Aniston’s new production company, with Aniston tipped to play Prof Langer.

(FIND OUT MORE
Horizon: Don’t Grow Old is available via iPlayer and will be repeated at 0250GMT on BBC One on Tuesday 9 February)

February 27, 2010 Posted by | Adventure, Aging, Character, Doha, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Friends & Friendship, Generational, Health Issues, Interconnected, Kuwait, Living Conditions, Qatar, Relationships, Social Issues, Statistics | 3 Comments

Kisses From Katie

There are so many blogs out there, it’s hard to keep up even with very good ones, blogs which really stand out, blogs which are extraordinary.

My nephew, Earthling’s wife wrote to me about a blog, Kisses from Katie, and urged me to take a look.

This blog is so unusual, so unforgettable for any person who tries to follow God’s purpose for his or her life. This woman walked away from EVERYTHING to serve God’s will, and ended up with 12 children and a grandmother, in Africa.

It’s not like she is a saint. She struggles. She hurts. She works hard with children who are dying, abandoned women, the poorest of the poor. She faces the challenge of raising 12 daughters and all their needs, and special needs. She celebrates their triumphs. She walks her life in utter faith.

I challenge you to read her blog. I challenge you to try to tell me you are not moved. This woman is an inspiration.

Katie works for a group called Amazina and you can learn more about them and their work with orphans and God’s love by clicking on the blue type above.

Thank you, Silver!

February 20, 2010 Posted by | Africa, Beauty, Biography, Blogging, Character, Charity, Community, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Food, Interconnected, Living Conditions, Spiritual, Work Related Issues | 1 Comment

First Things First

“I have some WONDERFUL news for you!” I gushed to AdventureMan when he picked up the call, “I found a third of the last fruitcake in the refrigerator!” I knew he thought he has finished off the fruit cake and that we didn’t have any more.

Pause. Pause. Pause.

“Hello? Hello? Are you there, AdventureMan.”

AdventureMan comes on, his work-a-day brisk, official self.

“When you start a conversation with ‘I have some wonderful news for you'” he says, “the next words out of your mouth really need to be that I am a grandfather.”

LLLLLLOOOOOLLLLLL.

I can’t make that happen any faster than it is going to happen. Baby grandson is now almost a week overdue, and we are waiting, waiting, waiting for him to show up. This is an eagerly awaited arrival.

I guess he is also happy about the fruitcake, but he really wants a grandson! 🙂

February 3, 2010 Posted by | Aging, Biography, Character, Communication, Community, Cultural, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Florida, Generational, Interconnected, Living Conditions, Marriage, Relationships | 3 Comments

Qatteri Cat – ReVisit

So all the way home, I am thinking “I have to be fair.”

It’s one thing to write a post when you are all hurt or annoyed by something, and then another to have to go back and give an update which is more . . . ummm. . .. . balanced.

The Qatteri Cat went back to the vet today for a re-check. He is fine. He didn’t want to go, and told me so all the way there.

The “mean” animal handler was there when I came in. She asked who was coming, and I told her, and she came over and called him a “sweetie,” and was genuinely nice to him, and caring.

When it came time to visit the vet, the QC stepped out of his cage all by himself, and behaved himself like a perfect gentleman. . . err, gentlecat.

I can tell you it is a lot harder to write a post about nothing happening and everyone being nice, than it is to write an emotional post. All the way home, I had to think about what I was going to write, and what came to me was that while I was making excuses for the Qatteri Cat being foul tempered (hungry, hurting, scared) I wasn’t making any allowances for the humans, who have to deal with sick, hungry, hurting, scared animals every day, who have to watch them suffer, and die, and who might be hungry, or tired, or in physical or emotional pain themselves. So . . . for all my own crabbiness, I apologize.

Today was a new day. QC is a well cat, and AdventureMan and I are still waiting for the magic phone call.

February 3, 2010 Posted by | Character, Charity, Civility, Community, Doha, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Interconnected, Living Conditions, Pets, Qatar, Qatteri Cat, Relationships, Work Related Issues | 7 Comments

Qatar’s ‘Manly Women’

Thank you, Little Diamond, who sent this article from The Economist as an update to blog entry on cross dressing based on a tiny article in the Gulf Times

CROSS-DRESSING is on the rise among young Qataris. The local press says that more tradition-minded locals are upset by the growing number of young women affecting a masculine style of dress, baggy trousers, short hair and deep voices. These women, who call themselves boyat, which translates as both tomboy and transsexual (and is derived from the English word boy), are being seen in schools and on university campuses where some are said to harass their straiter-laced sisters.

In an episode of a talk show on Qatari television, called Lakom al Karar (The Decision is Yours), a leading academic said that the “manly women” phenomenon was part of a “foreign trend” brought into Qatar and the Gulf by globalisation. Foreign teachers, the internet and satellite television have been blamed. So have foreign housemaids, for badly influencing children in their care.

The studio audience was divided over how to respond. Some called for the death penalty for cross-dressers, while others favoured medical treatment. A rehabilitation centre for Qatari boyat has been set up, but a local report says that as many as 70% of them refuse to give up their “abnormal behaviour”.

It is not just Qataris who are rattled. A year ago the ministry of social affairs in the United Arab Emirates (UAE) launched a campaign against “masculine women”. The project, entitled “Excuse me, I’m a girl”, involved workshops, lectures and television programmes, stressing the virtues of femininity and raising awareness of the presumed dangers of women looking like men. An emirates’ foundation is helping to fund a research project on “gender identity disorder among Emirati youth”.

One official describes the “deviant behaviour” of the boyat as a “menace” to society. But others sound less fazed. An American university lecturer in the region says the short hair and gym shoes worn by these young women would look perfectly normal on an American campus. That is just what unnerves the traditionalists.

Why do you think these girls dress and act like men? Why would a girl do that?

I think girls do that – in any country – for a reason. If privileges and freedoms are heavily weighted in favor of males, perhaps there is no great mystery as to why some females would prefer to be males. It makes sense to me. Girls aren’t stupid. They can see who is getting all the goodies. My guess it is less a gender issue than a values issue.

On the other hand, when – and if – things are more equal, there is less motivation to be other than what we were created to be.

I had some young local friends who told me that they were taking Tai Kwan Do, but quit when a neighbor told their mother that it might threaten their virginity. It broke my heart. The martial arts give grace and confidence to young women. There are a lot of ways a hymen can be broken; I have never heard of it happening while training in Tai Kwan Do. These young, vibrant girls have fewer and fewer activities that they are encouraged to do, and end up staying home or strolling endlessly at the local malls. Aaarrgh!

Dads – teach your daughters to hunt! Teach them to fish! Teach them to swim, to throw a softball, to kick a football. Take them camping in the desert, and let them run freely. Teach them chess, and how to win. Give them the gift of physical and intellectual activity, give them the understanding that sports, employment and power are equally accessible for all sexes, and you won’t be having problems with girls who yearn for the freedoms and privileges of being male.

January 30, 2010 Posted by | Character, Cross Cultural, Doha, Education, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Generational, Living Conditions, Qatar, Social Issues, Values, Women's Issues | 12 Comments

Qattari Cat Goes Wild

It was like the ninth circle in Hell. We had been told this was the best clinic in town, so when we thought the Qatteri Cat was having a problem, we made an appointment, and braved the Doha drive-time traffic to get there, only to discover that there were like 25 people milling around the waiting room, most holding animals loose in their arms, and a feeling of desperation in the air.

The customer service was shocking. I watched one man, big guy, football-player type, sway and his knees nearly buckle as the curt woman behind the desk said in her loud voice “Oh! Your cat didn’t make it! Your’s was the little grey cat, right?” He was devastated. I was horrified that the news could be delivered so callously, and so loudly.

Many of the people without appointments had kittens bought at the Souq al Waqif. You know I love the Souk al Waqif, but if you buy an animal there, you are buying an animal who already has strikes against it, and people who breed them just for sale, with no regard for ethical treatment of another living creature. You are buying trouble, and big veterinarian bills. It’s gotten so bad for me, I can’t even walk through the bird/animal area anymore. I can’t bear to see the way the animals are treated.

We got to see the vet over an hour later. He was nice, very professional, very knowledgeable, and I cannot imagine what it is like having to run a veterinary service under these hellish conditions.

One of his handlers walked in, looked at me coldly and said “Is this your cat?” I said yes, and she continued on “this is the worst cat I have ever handled. He is EVIL! He is VICIOUS! He is the cat from hell. Is he like this at home?”

Imagine saying something like that to a customer!

I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. The Qatteri Cat had a rough beginning in life. I met his first owners, and the women in the family didn’t like him. When he came to live with us, he loved – and trusted – AdventureMan from the beginning, but it took me a long while to win his trust. He was skinny and always watching my feet and hands; he would flinch if I moved too quickly. He had been mistreated.

He has bitten me twice, in his seven years living with us, both times when other cats were around and he was scared. When he is scared, or when he is in pain, all his natural instincts kick in. I give him a short time-out in a confined environment (the bathroom!), and everything is fine. He’s a cat. No, he is not vicious at home. He is a SWEET cat!

He has never misbehaved at a vet clinic, never. At the clinic in Kuwait, he couldn’t wait to get out of the cage; the female Italian vet told him what a handsome big boy he was and he was putty in her hands. I have to admit it, I felt a twinge of jealousy. He had eyes only for her!

The Qattari Cat is a cat who wants to co-operate. It doesn’t matter how good the vet is, if the staff is unprofessional, discourteous to the point of rudeness, and ignorant about handling animals, we won’t go back. We won’t risk him being handled cruelly. I cannot imagine why they keep this woman on their staff.

But I couldn’t resist taking a flash photo of QC to illustrate this post, with demonic, gleaming eyes, LLOOOLLLL!

January 28, 2010 Posted by | Bureaucracy, Character, Civility, Communication, Customer Service, Doha, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Kuwait, Leadership, Living Conditions, Pets, Qatar, Qatteri Cat, Rants | 13 Comments

The Law of the Harvest

A small group was huddled, talking about volunteer work, and how people are afraid to commit, when the duties are actually very light, and easily accomplished, then we drifted into giving generously . . .

“It’s called The Law of the Harvest” one of my favorite women popped in as I was trying to explain that when you give, open-handedly, give with your heart, it all comes back to you multiplied.

We all turned to her. “Remember the seeds? You sow the seeds and then it is multiplied?”

Of course! It’s so simple! Why didn’t I think of that?

January 28, 2010 Posted by | Character, Charity, Civility, Community, ExPat Life, Leadership, Relationships, Spiritual | 11 Comments

Handbook for 2010

Thank you, Dear Friend, who sent this to me this morning 🙂

HANDBOOK 2010

Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2.. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants….
4. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy.
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games.
7. Read more books than you did in 2009.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minute walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:
11. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12 Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don’t over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake..
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
18. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
32.. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. God heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change..
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up..
37. The best is yet to come.
38. When you awake alive in the morning, be thankful for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy..

Last but not the least:
40. Please Forward this to everyone you care about, I just did..

January 24, 2010 Posted by | Adventure, Aging, Beauty, Books, Character, Community, Exercise, Friends & Friendship, Health Issues | 4 Comments

Grace Gets an Upgrade

I have the most wonderful housekeeper who helps me out a couple days a week, and other occasions. She is a woman I greatly admire; she works hard to provide education for her children, and she is also a strong voice in her community, giving sound advice to younger women and organizing people for positive change.

Today I asked her if she had taken the bag I had made for her when she went home for a recent visit.

Here eyes gleamed.

‘Oh YES!’ she said, her smile so large it was like the sun rising over the Gulf. ‘It was the only thing I carried! And on my way home, I was waiting for my plane and the desk attendant approached me and asked where I was going. I said ‘Abu Dhabi and Doha’ and he asked if I minded if they upgraded me to Business Class’

We both danced for joy. Manila to Abu Dhabi in business class. Wooooo HOOOO! That’s a LONG flight.

‘Did you sleep?’ I asked.

‘At first, no, because I didn’t know how to operate the seats.’ she responded.

‘And then?’ I prompted

‘I figured it out,’ she grinned.

She thinks it was the bag I made for her. I think God just knew Grace needed a little grace. 🙂

January 23, 2010 Posted by | Adventure, Bureaucracy, Character, ExPat Life, Interconnected, Relationships, Travel, Work Related Issues | 3 Comments

3 Months for Killing, One Year for Stealing

These articles are in today’s Gulf Times, under Court Roundup.

Jail term, fine for death crash
A local motorist has been sentenced to three-month’s imprisonment for reckless driving that led to the death of a 56-year-Pakistani pedestrian.

The Doha court of first instance imposed on the 26-year-old motorist a fine of QR20,000.
The fatal accident took place in the Old Airport area on September 27, 2008. According to the traffic report, “the accident occurred because the motorist was speeding.”

A traffic official told the court that the motorist was driving at 80kmph on a busy street.
Family members of the deceased can claim blood money in a civil court.

Man sentenced for stealing

A Sri Lankan driver has been sentenced to a year-imprisonment for stealing items including two gas cylinders and a vacuum cleaner from the labour camp of a private company. Four of the co-accused were sentenced in absentia to five years in jail.

The theft took place on July 21, 2008 in New Rayan area, the charge-sheet said.

Two Egyptians, who witnessed the incident, testified that they saw five men loading the items, estimated to cost QR4,000, on to a pickup from a store inside the camp.
The Egyptians said they captured three of the workers while the others drove away in the pick-up.

The police arrested all the accused and four of them were deported on an administrative order before the commencement of the trial.

January 11, 2010 Posted by | Bureaucracy, Character, Crime, Cultural, Doha, ExPat Life, Financial Issues, Interconnected, Law and Order, Qatar, Values | Leave a comment