Family Crisis
The Gospel reading for today details a family crisis. We grow up with these words, we know them by heart, but it is only living in the countries near where Jesus was actually born that I have come to ponder these words in my heart, and try to imagine what it meant in Mary’s time.
Matthew 1:18-25
18 Now the birth of Jesus the Messiah* took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. 19 Her husband Joseph, being a righteous man and unwilling to expose her to public disgrace, planned to dismiss her quietly. 20 But just when he had resolved to do this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, ‘Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. 21 She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.’ 22 All this took place to fulfil what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet:
23 ‘Look, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son,
and they shall name him Emmanuel’,
which means, ‘God is with us.’ 24 When Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him; he took her as his wife, 25 but had no marital relations with her until she had borne a son;* and he named him Jesus.
Living in Jordan, living in the Gulf has helped me so much to understand the context in which this birth took place. In America today, it is still hoped for that women will be married when they have children, but it is not taken for granted. No one goes out and kills a daughter or sister who has had sexual relations with a man before she is married. Parents don’t disown daughters who conceive before the vows are publicly exchanged.
Even now, in the Middle East, most expect women to be virgin at marriage, and to conceive only after the formalities of marriage. There are steep penalties to be paid for varying from that route. Banishment. Death. Dishonor. A bastard child, if she lives that long. These are all things Mary was facing as she entered her earliest months of pregnancy. Joseph had decided to set her aside – not to marry her. He was a decent man, but a man of the times, he didn’t want a pregnant bride. The angel comes – he tells Joseph that this baby is special, conceived of the Holy Spirit, that Mary remains virgin. And miracle of miracles . . . Joseph listens.
What a courageous woman. What a courageous man.
Vigilante Volunteers
“Helping out the Ministry of Interior”
From today’s Kuwait Times
Kuwaiti activist establishes voluntary religious police
Published Date: December 27, 2008
KUWAIT: Islamist activist Mubarak Al-Bathali announced that he has established a voluntary Kuwaiti Committee for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice, like the Saudi Mutaween or religious police.
Al-Bathali said the Kuwait committee would begin its religious tasks in the Sulaibikhat area before spreading to other areas of the country. He explained that he was inspired to adopt the idea after a number of devout young people complained to him about seeing inappropriate and immoral behavior in Kuwait’s streets.
He emphasized that the committee members would focus only on advising people to avoid irreligious and immoral behavior and would never implement harsh or violent treatment on anyone.
Among the types of treatment which Al-Bathali protested against was the alleged drinking of alcohol, banned in Kuwait, at Christmas parties in the country. He reiterated that those who wished to drink alcohol should go outside Kuwait to do so.
Al-Bathali emphasized that the committee’s work would not conflict with the Ministry of Interior’s, saying that on the contrary it would help the MoI to uphold public morality and values.
From today’s Arab Times:
WE DON’T WANT YOUR HELP GUARDING PUBLIC MORALITY! responds MOI
Interior Ministry hits out at new ‘guardians of freedom’
KUWAIT, Dec 26, (KUNA): “Kuwait is an institutional state governed by law”, a statement by the Ministry of Interior said on Friday. The statement came in response to a press statement published on the front page of a local daily earlier today. The press statement talked about a group that allocated itself as “guardian” of people’s personal freedoms guaranteed by law, the ministry statement noted. The statement stressed that the ministry was the only directorate tasked with implementing and preserving the law in the country through imposing security and order, as well as safeguarding public morals. “The Kuwaiti society is a conservative, Arab and Muslim one that maintains refined morals and abides by its customs and traditions,” it pointed out.
“The ministry will counter such ‘radical’ calls with firmness,” the statement said, adding that the ministry would not allow anyone, whether individuals or groups, to interfere in the public’s personal freedoms, describing the calls as a “loud” infringement of the law as it also defied the state’s constitutional institutions. The statement concluded by saying that the ministry would take needed legal and security procedures to counter these calls and maintain the nation’s safety under the leadership of His Highness the Amir Sheikh Sabah Al-Ahmad Al-Jaber Al-Sabah.
Meanwhile, the Citizenship and Passport Affairs Department at the Ministry of Interior has announced that citizenship will not be granted to Kuwaiti children born abroad, if they hold any other nationality, reports Al-Rai daily. The department said since Kuwait doesn’t accept dual citizenship, children born abroad, especially in western countries where citizenship is given on birth, will not be granted Kuwaiti citizenship if they accept another country’s citizenship. It applies even on children of diplomats and “the department will not grant citizenship to such children unless they give up their previous citizenship.”
It is easy to discover nationality from birth certificates, say sources. In another development, Iraqi authorities have extended invitation to Kuwait officials to visit Baghdad to locate the whereabouts of their compatriots captured during the August 1990 Iraqi invasion, reports Arrouaih daily quoting reliable Kuwaiti Foreign Ministry sources as saying. Sources added the step demonstrates the serious determination of Iraqis to see to an amicable resolution of the issues and to put to end the lingering suffering of many families who lost their loved ones during the war.
PS. I don’t want your help, either, morality volunteers, guarding my morality. My morality is between me and God. I obey the laws of the country I live in – the laws of the country, not your idea of what the laws should be. “Volunteers” guarding morality are vigilantes, pure and simple.
Qatteri Cat Says “Whaaaaaat?”
Those little eyes look SO innocent, don’t they?
Don’t believe it for a moment!
Every morning, I have to gather up ornaments that have been knocked off. I have to glue them back together (I don’t hang anything very valuable on the lower branches, but it is annoying to have to glue things back all the time.)
He had his eye on one ornament and I said his name. He looked at me. His eyes said “Whaaaaaaat” you know, that three syllable what that means “why do you think I would do something like that” when you are thinking of doing something like that.
You don’t fool me one bit, Qattari Cat.
Night Flight
Arriving at the next airport, we find our flight is delayed, while a seat is found for every single passenger. As I look around, I feel dismay – this flight is like 3/4 college students. We thought with Eid having ended, the plane would be half empty – NOT so! The lounge is packed with twenty-somethings headed home to Kuwait on Christmas break from their universities in the USA.
I used to be one of those. My parents lived in Germany; my sister and I would travel home. One difference, we were flying military planes, so they would wait until a whole planeload of college students had gathered and then send us all off to Frankfurt on one plane. It was party party party, card games, laughing, talking, catching up with friends from all over Europe, some flying on to bases in north Africa and Greece . . . I don’t think we had any bases in the Middle East at that time (It was a LONG time ago!)
But payback is hell. Now I am about to board a flight full of young people like I used to be. I can kiss a good night’s sleep goodbye! Every single seat on the plane is taken, and it is a BIG plane. I prepare for the worst. I remember those days . . .
Here is what really happened: this was the nicest, most polite group of college age students I have ever met. When they gathered at the food places, they talked quietly. Most of them slept or quietly watched movies the entire flight. The flight was one of the quietest I have ever been on. The bathrooms stayed relatively clean. I was so totally impressed.
If there are Kuwaiti parents reading this blog whose college students are flying home around now, you can pat yourselves on the back. You raised young people with excellent manners. 🙂
An Eye for an Eye – Does Revenge Change Anything?
I have been following my own post with interest. The truth is, there is a huge part of me that agrees with you, agrees with Ameneh, who wants her attacker to suffer as she has suffered, to pay for the life he has stolen from her.
I used to be a lot more idealistic than I am now. I can remember the two times in my life I came face-to-face with who I am, viscerally, in my gut.
The first time, I was living in Jordan, and I awoke in the middle of the night. I heard gunfire. My husband was out of town – that happened a lot. Things like cars breaking down, heaters going out in the dead of winter, ants attacking (don’t even ask), those things always waited for my husband to be out of town. Now gunfire.
I finally called my British neighbors, who called their Security office, who said it was probably just the police shooting packs of dogs who attacked the sheep at night.
I knew, though, that night, that if I had a gun in the house, I would shoot anyone who came through the front door to protect my son. I had never thought of myself that way. I had never considered myself a killer. And I knew I could kill, without a second thought, to protect my son.
We all have times when we find out who we are, what we are made of. Men who go off to war and kill for a living have to live with their actions for the rest of their lives. Many, many live with regrets.
People who lived through the Invasion of Kuwait endured and suffered unimaginable horrors. Many won’t even talk about the things they saw or had to do.
Here is my problem with revenge – you have to live with the consequences.
If I had shot an intruder, even thinking it was a criminal, I would have to live with that the rest of my life. Even NOT shooting an intruder, I have to live with the thought that I would have, that I was fully prepared to kill. It still haunts me, even though I didn’t do anything, even though I just thought about it.
I like what This Lady said. I want this man punished, but if we choose to inflict the same punishment on him, don’t we lower ourselves to his level? I think life imprisonment would be worse. On another blog, dealing with the same topic, one Iranian woman wrote that if this man is blinded, some female in his family will be chosen to take care of him for the rest of his life, feeding him, preparing his meals. She, too, will be sacrificed, lose her own life to the obligation of taking care of this blinded villain for the rest of his life. Wouldn’t we all be better off if he were locked away, never to be free again?
I published the photo with the original article because I was shocked and intrigued by it. In spite of her blindness and disfigurement, this woman is laughing, and her mother is hugging her. In many ways, her life is blessed. Because God works in amazing and wonderful ways, we know that he can use this terrible act to do great things in her life, bring her peace, bring her new understanding . . . we don’t know what he can do, but we can trust that her life is not over, that he can still use her to fulfill his purpose in this world.
Reading your comments, trying to find my own response has been a challenge. As I said – if it were me, if it were my sister, God forbid – I know I would want revenge. I know that fiery outrage lives in all our hearts; the desire to take an eye for an eye. I know that dragon in my own heart.
And yet . . . I am left with this very uneasy feeling that revenge and retribution are neither deterrent, nor satisfying. I trust that if this sentence is carried out, God can even do great things with this violent assailant, that he can work in his heart and give him a new way of seeing, he can bring him to repentance, he can do great works, even in the heart of this sinner.
My greatest, gravest concern is for Ameneh. She seems to be a very stable, courageous woman. I fear that revenge can act as a poison in her soul, that the punishment, if inflicted, will eat away at all the goodness of her life. I fear for any of us who become obsessed with revenge at the cost of who we were created to be.
You have been very forceful in your expression of belief that the sentence should be imposed. Don’t you harbor any misgivings about this, no matter how small?
An Eye for an Eye in Iran – Penalty for Acid Disfigurement?
I found this today in the Washington Post
Woman Blinded by Spurned Man Invokes Islamic Retribution
By Thomas Erdbrink
Washington Post Foreign Service
Sunday, December 14, 2008; Page A01
TEHRAN — Ameneh Bahrami once enjoyed photography and mountain vistas. Her work for a medical equipment company gave her financial independence. Several men had asked for her hand in marriage, but the hazel-eyed electrical technician had refused them all. “I wanted to get married, but only to the man I really loved,” she said.
Four years ago, a spurned suitor poured a bucket of sulfuric acid over her head, leaving her blind and disfigured.
Late last month, an Iranian court ordered that five drops of the same chemical be placed in each of her attacker’s eyes, acceding to Bahrami’s demand that he be punished according to a principle in Islamic jurisprudence that allows a victim to seek retribution for a crime. The sentence has not yet been carried out.
You can read the rest of the article Here.
You may think you know how I feel about this. The man stole from this woman. He violated her very life. He stole her ability to see, her ability to support herself, he disfigured her for life and stole the likelihood of the love match she was holding out for. He treated her like property – if he can’t have her, then he will have revenge.
She fought – and won – for him to be blinded with the same acid she has been blinded with. She doesn’t ask that he be disfigured, only blinded. The court in Iran agreed. The sentence has not yet been carried out.
I’m interested in what YOU think. I feel sympathy for the woman, Ahmena Bahrami. I love the way she went after her attacker in the courts. I love it that she didn’t just collapse and be a victim.
On the other hand, I wish she had gone after something different. The thought of purposely blinding someone is SO repugnant to me, I can’t support it. I wish she had gone after his money, forcing him to support her at the level she was earning, for the rest of her life – and his. I find myself thinking – what good does it do to blind him?
He committed a heinous act. Hideous, unthinkable. And yet I find the punishment equally hideous, and unthinkable. I worry that in the future, she will regret having enforced this upon her assailant. I think that revenge, getting revenge, can extract it’s own price from our character. Do you think she will feel better? Do you think she will be happier knowing he was blinded in retrubution? I kinda sorta doubt it.
What do you think?
Criminal Justice
One of the great thrills in life is for a moment when you see that your life has had meaning – and many of those come when your children turn out OK. My husband and I wept together at our son’s graduation from high school – not that there was ever any doubt, but it just felt like maybe we had done something right.
Then came graduation from college, and later from law school. We wept for joy. We didn’t weep at all when he chose a sweet, thoughtful and beautiful bride – we danced for joy, and we are still dancing.
We had another of those life moments when we were able to observe our son in court, functioning as a responsible adult. What a thrill.
At the same time, I realized I have never been in a court before. It was sentencing day, and an entire parade of sad sacks paraded before us. These were men who have done bad things – sometimes violent things. None of them looked evil; they all looks shrunken and pathetic in their prison jumpsuits and chained feet. Each one had to answer to the judge – he had already been tried and convicted, and this was the day the prisoner would find out what the penalty would be.
The judge took his time, and also spent time educating those in the courtroom. One question he asked over and over – under what circumstances were you arrested for this crime?
Every prisoner was arrested when being stopped for some traffic infraction. When a crime is committed, even after a sentence is served, many times the prisoners are on probation. If they live without any violations for the probation time, they are free and clear. If they disregard some rule of probation, then the probation is withdrawn, and they have to go back to jail. A warrant is issued for their arrest. The warrant is entered into a computer, and, when the system works, every state in the United States has a record of that warrant.
Each and every prisoner was caught breaking another law, and then imprisoned on earlier violations when run through the computer. Each one had a history of making bad decisions. Not evil decisions – just momentary bad decisions – running red lights, speeding, weaving, having fake license plates on the car . . . each one had a pattern of living as if the laws of the land pertained to everyone else – but not to him.
One man, who was going back to prison because while on probation he had used drugs again, had his wife testify on his behalf. She cried, and said it was her fault, that they had a fight and because of the fight, he had used again. The judge was furious, said that unless she held a gun at his head and forced him to use, it had been his choice and his alone. He would serve his full sentence. This judge is big on personal responsibility, personal accountability.
Some of them were going away (going to prison) for a long time. In the midst of the joy of seeing our son doing good work was a lot of sadness at the waste of lives, as people are warehoused in prison.
But what else can you do with people who persist in breaking the law? How many times can you give them the benefit of the doubt? How many times can you show mercy before they do something truly awful? Is there any alternative to prison that can truly help people to learn to make better decisions and choices?
At one time, as part of my work, I had to go into prisons and deal with prisoners. Many of the people I dealt with were pretty scary. One had stabbed his wife’s girlfriend – like 97 times. I will never forget, at this time of year, hearing the prisoners singing Christmas carols, punctuated by the sound of the heavy gates crashing shut.
It still gives me shivers.
The Feast of St. Andrew
This is the Feast of Saint Andrew, one of my favorite of all the Saint’s Days, and the Saint’s feast closest to my very favorite season of the church or all – Advent, during which we prepare our hearts for the arrival of the little baby Jesus.
I learned things I never knew, reading James Kiefer’s write up for The Lectionary including that Andrew is known for bringing others to Christ. He was one of two of the very first Apostles, and while not often mentioned individually, is mentioned as one who brings others to the knowledge of Christ.
ANDREW THE APOSTLE
(30 NOV NT)
Most references to Andrew in the New Testament simply include him on a list of the Twelve Apostles, or group him with his brother, Simon Peter. But he appears acting as an individual three times in the Gospel of John. When a number of Greeks (perhaps simply Greek-speaking Jews) wish to speak with Jesus, they approach Philip, who tells Andrew, and the two of them tell Jesus (Jn 12:20-22). (It may be relevant here that both “Philip” and “Andrew” are Greek names.) Before Jesus feeds the Five Thousand, it is Andrew who says, “Here is a lad with five barley loaves and two fish.” (Jn 6:8f) And the first two disciples whom John reports as attaching themselves to Jesus (Jn 1:35-42) are Andrew and another disciple (whom John does not name, but who is commonly supposed to be John himself — John never mentions himself by name, a widespread literary convention). Having met Jesus, Andrew then finds his brother Simon and brings him to Jesus. Thus, on each occasion when he is mentioned as an individual, it is because he is instrumental in bringing others to meet the Saviour. In the Episcopal Church, the Fellowship of Saint Andrew is devoted to encouraging personal evangelism, and the bringing of one’s friends and colleagues to a knowledge of the Gospel of Christ.
Just as Andrew was the first of the Apostles, so his feast is taken in the West to be the beginning of the Church Year. (Eastern Christians begin their Church Year on 1 September.) The First Sunday of Advent is defined to be the Sunday on or nearest his feast (although it could equivalently be defined as the fourth Sunday before Christmas Day).
Several centuries after the death of Andrew, some of his relics were brought by a missionary named Rule to Scotland, to a place then known as Fife, but now known as St. Andrew’s, and best known as the site of a world-famous golf course and club. For this reason, Andrew is the patron of Scotland.
When the Emperor Constantine established the city of Byzantium, or Constantinople, as the new capital of the Roman Empire, replacing Rome, the bishop of Byzantium became very prominent. Five sees (bishoprics) came to be known as patriarchates: Rome, Alexandria, Antioch, Jerusalem, and Byzantium. Now, the congregation at Rome claimed the two most famous apostles, Peter and Paul, as founders. Antioch could also claim both Peter and Paul, on the explicit testimony of Scripture, and of course Jerusalem had all the apostles. Alexandria claimed that Mark, who had been Peter’s “interpreter” and assistant, and had written down the Gospel of Mark on the basis of what he had heard from Peter, had after Peter’s death gone to Alexandria and founded the church there. Byzantium was scorned by the other patriarchates as a new-comer, a church with the political prestige of being located at the capital of the Empire, but with no apostles in its history. Byzantium responded with the claim that its founder and first bishop had been Andrew the brother of Peter. They pointed out that Andrew had been the first of all the apostles to follow Jesus (John 1:40-41), and that he had brought his brother to Jesus. Andrew was thus, in the words of John Chrysostom, “the Peter before Peter.” As Russia was Christianized by missionaries from Byzantium, Andrew became the patron not only of Byzantium but also of Russia.
Andrew is the national saint of Scotland. George (23 Apr) is the national saint of England, Patrick (17 Mar) of Ireland, and Dewi = David (1 Mar) of Wales. George, who was a soldier, is customarily pictured as a knight with a shield that bears a red cross on a white background. This design is therefore the national flag of England. It is said that Andrew was crucified on a Cross Saltire — an ‘X’ -shaped cross. His symbol is a Cross Saltire, white on a blue background. This is accordingly the national flag of Scotland. A symbol of Patrick is a red cross saltire on a white background. The crosses of George and Andrew were combined to form the Union Jack, or flag of Great Britain, and later the cross of Patrick was added to form the present Union Jack. Wales does not appear as such (sorry!). Whether there is a design known as the cross of David, I have no idea.
by James Kiefer
Southern Thanksgiving Photos
First, apologies – No matter how many photos I take, you can’t begin to imagine the scope of this event. Three sisters, out of a family of ten brothers and sisters, gather the clan and provide a truly old fashioned Southern Thanksgiving on a large country estate. While the photos are mostly of food, the most important element of the gathering is the love that brings and binds this family together.
The weather was magnificent, allowing people to be inside and out, the kids out playing chase, football, exploring the grounds, sitting on the old swing, etc. Out in the way-back, men started shucking oysters for the pre-meal appetizers around 9 in the morning.
While the three sisters are pulling together all the last minute details, there is already an abundance of food to keep people nibbling while anticipating the main meal, served around 1:00 in the afternoon.
As people arrive, they bring more food – mashed potatoes, sweet potato casseroles, green beans, turnip greens, collard greens, creamed corn, creamed onions, all in slow cookers to keep them warm until dinner-time.
Meanwhile, things are heating up in the command center (kitchen) as time nears to get the food on the groaning tables:
Frying up turkey breast meat:
Usually, the men carve the turkeys – this year, a smoked turkey and a deep fried turkey:
Getting close to dinner time, people start gathering closer to the house:
Just before the dinner is served, the organizers thank the guests for coming and the food is blessed. Now here is where I really need to apologize – there are no dessert photos, and the desserts were magnificent. But once you have filled your place with turkey, dressing, vegetables, salads – and you have to take a little bit of everything so you don’t hurt anyone’s feelings – then you need to sit a while before you think about dessert. Actually, I didn’t even have any room for dessert! So I missed out on taking dessert photos, and for that, I totally apologize.
Then, about an hour after dessert, the family photos are taken. First, all the surviving and attending brothers and sisters, then each family, with various children and their families attending. This tradition is a lot of fun, but takes another hour or so. At the very end, we take photos of the three sisters who spend weeks and hours organizing the annual event, coordinating all the food, cooking for days and cleaning up afterwards. These women are my heroes – it is an unbelievable amount of work, and they do it out of love for their family:
Thank You Every Day Heroes
You know how I feel – the firefighters and the police risk their lives every day to keep us safe. And you know I love I Can Has Cheezburger.com – so this is the best of both those worlds:
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