Here There and Everywhere

Expat wanderer

270,000 KD for What?

I found this in today’s Kuwait Times. I think maybe I am out of touch . . . I haven’t heard of anyone sending or receiving a telegram for a long time. I don’t believe my husband’s office even uses a telex anymore? Am I missing something?

Kuwait Times: 20 January 2008

Telegram, Telex services
Kuwait: The Ministry of Communication is planning to create a new telegram and telex service system. The system will cost KD 270,000 and will be using modern equipment and up to date methods. A contract for creating the system was first given to a Bahraini company, but then the ministry decided to create the system themselves. The ministry will start working on creating the system two weeks from now.

Anyone? Anyone?

January 20, 2008 Posted by | Bureaucracy, Communication, Customer Service, Kuwait, Leadership, News, Political Issues, Technical Issue | 13 Comments

Inheritance of Loss

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Most of the time, if I don’t like a book, I won’t even bother telling you about it. This book, The Inheritance of Loss, by Kiran Desai, is an exception for one reason – it IS worth reading.

Inheiritance of Loss showed up on the book club reading list for the year, and I ordered it. I read the cover when the book came, and it didn’t sound that good to me, so I read other books instead. The next time it came to mind was when a friend, reading the book, said she was having trouble with it, and asked me if I had started it. This friend is a READER, and a thinker. It caught my attention that she would have problems reading a book, so I decided to give it a try.

This is a very uncomfortable book. The characters live in the shadow of the Himalayan mountains. The most sympathetic character is a young orphaned girl, sent to live with her grandfather. With each chapter, we learn more about all the characters, how they came to be here, what they think, what their lives have looked like.

The author of this book has a very sour look on life. She has snotty things to say about every character. You can almost feel her peering around the corner, eyes slit with evil intent. She is that vicious neighbor who comes by and never says anything nice about anybody, and when you see her talking with your neighbor, you get the uneasy feeling she could be saying something mean about you, and she probably is.

The book covers a wide range of topics – Indian politics, Ghurka revolts, English colonization, Indian emigration to the US and UK, everyday vanities and pride in petty things, how people destroy their own lives, how people can be cruel to one another, oh it’s a great read (yes, that is sarcasm).

At the same time, this vicious unwelcome neighbor has a sharp eye for detail. You may not like what she is telling you, but you keep listening, because you can learn important tidbits of information from her. In my case, I learned a lot about how life is lived in a small mountain village in India, the struggles of illegals in America and how class lines are drawn, ever so finely, when people live together. I learned a lot about the legacy of colonialism, and the creep of globalization. This unwelcome neighbor has a sharp tongue, always complaining, and yet . . . some of her complaints have merit.

I don’t believe there was a single redeeming episode in the book. There was not a paragraph to feel good about. I am glad to be finished with the book – but, yes, I finished it, I didn’t just set it aside in disgust, or give it away without finishing.

Here is the reason I am telling you about this book – as uncomfortable as this book is to read, I have the feeling, upon finishing, that ideas and images from this book will stick with me for a long time. I have the feeling that it contributes to my greater understanding of how things work, how people think differently from other people, and on what levels we are very much the same.

Here is an excerpt from the book, at a time during which the Judge is a young Indian, studying in England:

The new boarding house boasted several rooms for rent, and here, among the other lodgers, he was to find his only friend in England: Bose.

They had similar inadequate clothes, similar forlornly empty rooms, similar poor native’s trunks. A look of recognition had passed between them at first sight, but also the assurance that they wouldn’t reveal one another’s secrets, not even to each other.

. . . Together they punted clumsily down the glaceed river to Grantchester and had tea among the jam sozzled wasps just as you were supposed to, enjoying themselves (but not really) as the heavy wasps fell from flight into their laps with a low battery buzz.

They had better luck in London, where they watched the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace, avoided the other Indian students at Veeraswamy’s, ate shepherd’s pie instead, and agreed on the train home that Trafalgar Square was not quite up to British standards of hygiene – all those defecating pigeons, one of which had done a masala-colored doodle on Bose. It was Bose who showed Jemubhai what records to buy for his new gramophone: Caruso and Gigli. He also corrected his pronunciation: Jheelee, not Giggly. . . .

This it was that the judge eventually took revenge on his early confusions, his embarrassments gloved in something called “keeping up standards,” his accent behind a mask of a quiet. He found he began to be mistaken for something he wasn’t – a man of dignity. This accidental poise became more important than any other thing. He envied the English. He loathed Indians. He worked at being English with the passion of hatred and for what he would become, he would be despised by absolutely everyone, English and Indians both.

I consider this a review, and not particularly a recommendation. I read the book, I finished the book and I learned from the book. I didn’t like the book. I recommend it only as a challenge, for people who like to read and stretch their minds in new directions.

January 13, 2008 Posted by | Books, Bureaucracy, Communication, Community, Cooking, Cross Cultural, Fiction, Financial Issues, Friends & Friendship, Generational, Hygiene, India, Living Conditions, Local Lore, Marriage, Mating Behavior, Poetry/Literature, Political Issues, Relationships, Social Issues, Women's Issues | 10 Comments

Naughty or Nice?

Blogger N. at One or the Other asks readers and visitors to vote on whether they are naughty or Nice? Blogger Fourme, rightly comments that we don’t have any definition of naughty or nice by which to define ourselves and that she will refrain from voting.

Most of the voters are naughty, by the way.

It gave me a big grin.

Isn’t “naughty” or “nice” greatly in the mind of the beholder?

Once, when I was the young wife of a young army officer, I got up my courage and wrote a letter to the editor. It turned out to be a controversial letter; I got one very sarcastic response from the authority I questioned, and then, a week later, all hell broke loose as readers from all over Europe bombed the one who replied. I felt scared, but a little proud to have raised the issue.

I was working in the library. THE COLONEL’S WIFE (that is how we thought of her) walked in and said to me “we don’t get our names in newspapers. It isn’t done.” And then she walked out.

Then I really felt scared. And I really felt naughty. And at the same time, I wouldn’t change a thing.

Sometimes, don’t you have to say something? When you see something that is not right? And is that really naughty?

January 10, 2008 Posted by | Adventure, Biography, Bureaucracy, Communication, Community, Cultural, ExPat Life, Generational, Germany, Relationships, Social Issues, Women's Issues | , , | 5 Comments

But / And

Several years ago I was working for a charismatic leader. He was amazing, he built something out of nothing, and changed countless lives. I felt very privileged to be a part of his team.

I managed a particular program for him, and I raised money for college scholarships so that poor kids, who were smart but had very small chance of going on to university without outside help, would have the promise of a full-tuition paid scholarship if they kept their grades up, stayed drug free, attended cultural events for which we provided free tickets, donated by our very generous sponsors (museums! baseball games! fishing trips! opera! symphony! our sponsors were SO generous!)

From this leader I learned many things, and one sticks with me in my daily life – using “and” instead of “but.”

Here is what he explained to me – when you reply with “but”, you are negating what the previous speaker – or even you, yourself – said. When you use “and” instead of “but”, you open up the possibility of two different things co-existing.

I challenge you to try it.

It will change your life.

Eliminate “but” from your vocabulary. Replace it with “and.” It opens an amazing new world.

Here is an example:

“She wants to go to the mall, but I want to go to the movies.” (Implies that these things are mutually exclusive)
“She wants to go to the mall, and I want to go to the movies.” (Implies we can do both!)

“And” gives room for negotiation, for finding a bigger frame that includes all the wants and needs, with a little co-operation.

I challenge YOU to give it a try. Give it a try for just one day – see how it works. Come back here and tell us how it worked for you.

December 27, 2007 Posted by | Communication, Community, Family Issues, Language, Living Conditions, Relationships, Spiritual, Words | 9 Comments

End of Year Musings

Hello, friends, I am back. We had the most amazing and wonderful adventure, and we are refreshed and happy to be back sleeping in our own bed again.

So of course, one of the first things I do when I get back is go through all my e-mail and then take a quick look at the blog. Even in my absence, the stats stayed high – until Christmas Day, when they dropped to about half. . . and there they stay. (Big grin) If this hadn’t happened last year, too, I would be shocked, but remember last year when I published all those great Thanksgiving and Christmas recipes? Those are what has pumped up the statistics. Most days in November and December, the Christmas Punch – Rum, and Rumless and the Christmas Divinity Candy have pumped those stats up above the thousand visitors / day mark several times.

Last year, it took me until September to match my December statistics. I wonder if I will ever match this December’s?

Like many bloggers, I write this blog for the sheer joy of writing. I don’t want to be a person who watches my stats, and at the same time, it interests me what interests YOU, the reader. What interests me also is that many times the most visited entries keep getting visits months later, even over a year later, and from time to time these earlier entries get a comment. I have seen the same thing on Jewaira’s blog, and although we are very different bloggers, she is still my primary blog-role-model. She is a blogger who, through sheer imagination and good writing has kept a loyal and enthusiastic readership. . . I want to be Jewaira when I grow up, bloggily speaking.

Don’t we all do a little personal inventory as the old year ends and the new year is about to begin? I’m not big on resolutions, but I am big on behavioral changes, and this week is a good week to muse, to ruminate, to think about what I want the future year to look like.

Is there some area YOU would like to explore in the new year? Some aspect of your character you would like to develop? Some talent you would like to give an opportunity to grow?

December 27, 2007 Posted by | Blogging, Communication, Community, Friends & Friendship, Kuwait, Random Musings, Relationships | 16 Comments

Pathetic and Divorce

When I saw this cartoon in the New Yorker, I laughed out loud. I have a friend whose husband is leaving her. No, that is not a laughing matter. He wants to be young again, he seeks (to no avail) younger girlfriends, and she has discovered he has a page on MySpace where he tries to make himself younger and cooler than he really is.

He is about to be wifeless, desperate to regain his lost youth, and pathetically eager to attract young women who really prefer hot young men. The “EEEEEEWWWWWWWWW Factor” is just too horrendous to contemplate.

He also has two teen aged sons. I can’t imagine how they must feel when they see Dad is leaving Mom, and has his own MySpace page.

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Ya gotta love the The New Yorker.

December 17, 2007 Posted by | Communication, Community, Cultural, Family Issues, Friends & Friendship, Humor, Mating Behavior, Relationships, Social Issues | 7 Comments

“Marionette . . . or Moron?”

This was sent by a good friend, 8 minutes by Keith Olbermann, ending with “Mr. Bush, you are a bold-faced liar.” This is from his December 6th broadcast.

December 16, 2007 Posted by | Bureaucracy, Communication, Crime, Cross Cultural, Customer Service, Financial Issues, Language, Leadership, Political Issues, Relationships | 1 Comment

Magnificent Concert

There isn’t much I ask of AdventureMan, he is busy supporting us and feathering our nest for retirement. When I ask, he is such a sweetie. I had asked about last night – there was a very special concert I wanted to hear. He took me, even though he had an early flight out this morning and hadn’t packed, hadn’t even picked up his shirts from the cleaners.

It was so totally worth it.

The Al Ahmadi singers did their “Holiday” concert at the SAS/ Al Hashemi Ballroom. It was wonderul, and moving, and a great way to get into the spirit of the Christmas season. I love that ballroom, it has so much character, even though the outer reception area smells a little moldy – what can you expect, right on the sea like that? The place is clean, and has an amazingly elegant feel, with it’s fabulously intricate wood parquet floors, it’s ship-light inspired chandeliers, it’s coffered ceilings, it’s heavy wood staircases to the upper deck/balcony. It has a great ambience.

Thanks be to God, in Kuwait, the Al Ahmadi singers can even sing excerpts from The Messiah, have readings about the meaning of Christmas, and celebrate the birth of the tiny baby Jesus. Can you see my great big grin? Even the memory makes me happy.

The orchestra supporting the chorus, under the direction of Joanna Kowalla, was also amazing. Very very good. Lucky Al Ahmadi singers, with such a great director, Richard L. Bushman. The soprano soloist, Vernica Grmusa, took our breath away with her excellence. The alto soloist, Jessica Olson, had a couple of really fun numbers, composed by the concert conductor’s wife, Harriet Petherick Bushman.

It was just the evening I needed, exquisite music, performed with spirit and excellence, in an atmosphere of joy. It was a total wow.

Just a couple reminders to people who may not have a lot of experience with attending concerts:

1) Turn off your cell phone. It is selfish and rude for you to be talking on your phone. I don’t care if your friend is lost, I don’t care. The conductor is making the SECOND announcement now about turning off cell phones; he means YOU. Everyone around you is glaring – can’t you see? Turn off your cell phone.

2) If you are late, and if they allow you in anyway (in most places you have to wait until an intermission or pause) enter discretely and find seats quickly and SIT DOWN. The key word here is discrete. Most of us are excited about the concert and eager to hear the music. Your grand entrance is lost on us. We don’t care how good you look, we just want you to sit down. Waving to all your friends, attracting attention to yourself makes us want to kill something – watch out. It might be YOU.

In spite of my complaints, above, the concert was so overwhelmingly good that even these minor rudenesses didn’t spoil the overall joy of an evening particularly well spent. Bravo, Brava, Al Ahmadi Singers, orchestra and soloists!
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December 15, 2007 Posted by | Arts & Handicrafts, Christmas, Communication, Community, Cross Cultural, Entertainment, Events, ExPat Life, Friends & Friendship, Kuwait, Music, Spiritual | 3 Comments

The Big Fight

AdventureMan and I had a big fight last night; I made it worse because I wouldn’t fight. It only made him angrier that I laughed and walked away.

Too much information? Sometimes, most of the time, a fight isn’t about what it seems to be about. When you have been married a LOOOONNNNGGGG time, you learn, thanks be to God.

AdventureMan is jet lagging, and working too hard. He takes all his responsibilities so seriously. He needed to go to sleep. And that is exactly what he did. Right after dinner, he fell asleep. The Qatteri Cat (he told me this morning) knew something was up and took two of his babies in to AdventureMan to make things better.

We were both up early this morning, laughing. He came up with a wonderful idea for date-night tonight, one of my favorite restaurants, and then . . . (if we can stay awake) we are going to watch this:

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I know ya’ll have seen it, but we haven’t, and it just came out on DVD last week in the US.

December 14, 2007 Posted by | Adventure, Communication, Cross Cultural, Cultural, Eating Out, Entertainment, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Kuwait, Living Conditions, Marriage, Relationships | 4 Comments

Bloggers Changing the Face of News in the Middle East

“So are the “new media” – blogs, websites, chatrooms – now becoming the only truly independent media in the Arab world?”

This article is from today’s BBC News in Depth:

New media dodge Mid-East censors
By Robin Lustig
BBC radio presenter

It’s never easy writing about media freedom.

Even in countries where there is no official censorship, all reporters know there will always be some restraints on what they can say – editors need to be persuaded, owners need to be kept happy, the law has to be obeyed.

Where there is official censorship – where, for example, it is a crime to “bring the government into disrepute” or to publish material which “insults the dignity of the head of state” – the problems are all the greater.

No freedom is absolute, yet some media are a great deal freer than others.

In the Arab world, in general, the media have been heavily politicised.

Governments have tended to control the main media outlets – the main daily newspaper, the main TV and radio networks – and where independent media have been allowed, they have often been owned by opposition parties or by businesspeople with clear links to political organisations. (The establishment of the Qatar-based al-Jazeera TV news station was a rare special case.)

But then, one day, along came the internet. And it was as if someone had blown open a few million doors.

Egyptian successes

Now, everyone can write – weblogs, or blogs, were born, giving everyone with access to the internet exactly the same opportunity to write and publish as the most powerful media tycoon.

You can read the rest of this article by clicking here, on BBC News.

December 12, 2007 Posted by | Africa, Blogging, Bureaucracy, Communication, ExPat Life, Free Speech, Kuwait, Middle East, News, Political Issues, Social Issues | 16 Comments