Today’s Grin: We are Forbidden to Report the Following Story
Todays Kuwait Times bottom left corner:
Information Gags Press
Kuwait: The Ministry of Information issued a gag order to all local media over reporting the tussle between two leading Kuwait companies over the September takeover of a KSE-listed firm. A copy of the court order ordering the ban was attatched to the ministry’s letter to all local dailies and media. The following is a translation of the accompanying Arabic letter (shown on the front page):
From the Ministry of Information, To the Editor-in-Chief, Kuwait Times. With reference to case number 900/2006 filed by Mohammed Abdul Mohsen Al-Kharafi Holding Co and Mohammed Abdul Mohsen Al-Khorafi & Sons for General Trading and Contracting against the Minister of Commerce and Industry as the supreme chairman of the Kuwait Stock Exchange (KSE), a court order has been issued pertaining to the banning of the publication of any news concerning the subject of the contestation (number 2/2006) till a verdict is issued concerning the nondisclosure violations. Therefore, please be advised to stop any publication till the case is over.
So the Kuwait Times reports that it cannot report the story. Brilliant.
Bahrain Censors Google Earth
This morning my nephew from GE sent me an e-mail with an article from the Financial Times on Mahmoud’s Den and Google Earth in Bahrain. When Google Earth upgraded the resolution on Bahrain, Bahrainis started recording the discrepancy in properties, and circulating copies of residencies, luxury cars, boats, etc. in contrast to the poor, crowded villages. The Bahraini government banned the use of Google Earth in Bahrain. You can guess what happened next – downloads shot through the roof. It’s just human nature.
The article in Financial Times gives more information.
When are governments going to figure out that when you ban a technology, you only make it more attractive? Google Earth downloads for free, it is available to everyone with a computer and adequate bandwidth. No matter what safeguards you put in, there are ways around it. That’s just the nature of technology.
Mahmoud’s Den sports a button that says “No Sunni, No Shiia, Just Bahraini”.
Humor For Word Lovers
Humor for word lovers…
A fellow word lover passed along these selections from the Washington Post:
These are creative and funny…
Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
The winners are:
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
The Washington Post’s Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are this year’s winners:
1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer
10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you’re eating.
And the pick of the literature:
16. Ignoranus (n): A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
Little Diamond
My neice is blogging! She started just as I did, without telling anyone. When I saw her on Friday, she very casually mentioned it in passing. Woooo Hoooooo! She is beautiful, and articulate, and always full of amazing information, and a lot of fun. Her website is A Diamond in Sunlight.
Fundamentally Green
Yesterday on National Public Radio, they did a segment on evangelical churches going “green”, i.e. environmentally conscious, and the problems it was causing the Republican party, who count on fundamental support.
Many of the churches are focusing on our stewardship of the environment, and setting up all kinds of recycle programs, calling in their “environmental tithe: (10% of your income.)
The problem is, the Democratic party is the party focused on the environment. So with the November elections coming up, NPR was examining how the shift in thinking will influence the voting.
There are other issues on which Democrats and Republicans differ – my guess is that those issues will have more influence on how people vote. But it is interesting that the “green” issue was raised – it could be a growing influence. The baby-boom generation are still a big voting bloc, and things may shift as they near retirement, and focus differently.
National Public Radio
I like BBC, but most of the time I find I don’t like listening twice to the same program. When you get tired of BBC, here is an alternative: National Public Radio.
You can stream National Public Radio through your computer, and listen to All Things Considered, The Beat . . . all kinds of things you never knew existed. National Public Radio was the only local American station to broadcast Ramadan and Eid greetings, and carried a lot of coverage of the season – objective and factual.
One of my favorite shows is “Wait! Wait! Don’t Tell Me!” which is a cafe-style conversation between very witty people discussing the news of the week. They really skewer politicians who have said stupid things, sing funny songs parodying events, and you just can’t help but laugh out loud when you listen.
“Trending” toward Democrat
I love to watch language change and evolve, and it’s happening all the time. Today on NPR the announcer was talking about the upcoming mid-term elections in the US in November, and he was talking about states that are “trending towards Democrats”. I haven’t heard “trend” used as a verb before, but why not? I “google”, and been googled. I blog! All kinds of words are transitioning from noun to verb. I wonder if the same thing is happening in Arabic?
Clash in the Work Place
Forbes has an article on the newest clash of generational working styles. More traditional bosses and managers still prefer a lot of face-to-face contact for creating and solidifying deals, and are mystified by the “Gen Y” tendency to sit in a cubicle and communicate by SMS.
An excerpt:
“The recent crop of grads, those born in the early 1980s, aka Generation Y, has marched boldly into the workforce over the past four years. They’ve brought with them a set of technological tools that makes fax machines, voice mail and spreadsheet software look positively quaint. They’ve grown up with scanning, text messaging and Googling, and they’re not about to stop once they’ve hit the working world.
Nor should they. Those skills are big assets when it comes to multi-tasking and productivity. But they’re also a nightmare for many of their bosses, those over 35 who understand that while technology is a useful tool, it doesn’t replace in-person interaction as a primary means of doing business. Today’s bosses can’t understand why their young recruits, for all their brains and technical acumen, hardly ever come over and actually talk to them.
“I hear from clients that [young professionals’] first instinct is to IM rather than walk over to their boss’ office. That can be OK for a quick question, but when you’re planning something, you need to talk face-to-face,” says Steven Rothberg, founder of Collegerecruiter.com, who places recent graduates into corporate jobs.
The tech disparity between 20-somethings and 40-somethings is far greater today than it was 20 years ago, when today’s 40-somethings were the young turks. Over 17 percent of today’s workforce is between the ages of 25 and 34, while another 28 percent is made up of employees 55 and over, Bureau of Labor Statistics numbers show.
That breakdown is not much different than in many past years. But what is different is the speed of technological progress since the mid-1990s, from the Internet and e-mail to cell phones and instant messaging. A recent survey by outplacement firm Lee Hecht Harrison shows that 60 percent of U.S. corporations acknowledge having workplace tensions among generations.”
Gripes of a Native English Speaker
OK, you are right, this is very picky. I like language – I love a good word in the right place. There are some things you can read that make my heart flutter, they are so elegant, so eloquent.
It doesn’t have to be a big word, or a fancy word – it has to be a word that grabs your attention because of it’s . . . fitness, it’s rightness in the context.
So here are my two gripes. And these are words used and abused by native English speakers!
Anxious – Eager
People use anxious all the time when they mean eager. I am anxious to see you. I anxiously await your letter. Anxious has an undertone of concern. If you are anxious, you are a little worried about something.
While eager is 100%, no-stopping, no holding back, happy anticipation. I am EAGER to see you again. I am EAGER to get your letter (and I expect only good things).
Don’t worry. You will see it used wrongly all the time, and you will hear it all the time. I know I am writing this for nothing, I am just getting it on paper because it drives me wild. I am sharing the agony – you will start hearing it, too, and I hope it will drive you wild.
Decimate – Devastate
You would think newscasters would know better, but they use decimate all the time, when they mean devastate. Decimate has a very strict meaning – when Roman troops would decimate, every tenth soldier would fall out. A division would be decimated – it’s strength would fall by 10%.
Devastate, on the other hand, implies utter distruction. Hurricane Katrina devastated New Orleans. The huge Tsunami devastated Indonesia and Thailand. An earthquake devastated villages in Pakistan – destroyed, destroyed utterly.
I feel so much better 🙂
Learning Opportunities
“Oh! I am so sorry!” I exclaimed. I caught them grinning as we worked on a project, and remembered the article I had read that morning in the Gulf Times.
“Sorry?” they looked puzzled. “Why khalti?”
“I’m humming! I’m so sorry! You are fobidden to hear music during Ramadan!” I apologized.
“No, khalti! Where did you get that idea?”
“In today’s Gulf Times” I replied, and went to get the morning paper. The three of us read through the article, on the religion page, together. It was in English, and I secretly rejoiced – a perfect opportunity!
I hate classroom teaching. I trained as a teacher, and actually, I loved my students, but oh, the classroom just overwhelms me. For one thing, I must be a little ADD (attention deficit disorder) because when the bell rings, and I know I have fifty five minutes in the classroom, I feel TRAPPED. I bet you didn’t know that some teachers feel that way, too!
What I like is living learning, and that is why I think those who are home schooling are enjoying so much success – really small classes, individual attention, and hands-on examples to illustrate what is being taught.
“We have to check with our Mom and Dad, they can tell us why, but we don’t believe this” they said, as we finished reading the article. (Teacher secretly dances for joy! They are reading in English with full comprehension!)
Later they came back to me and explained – in English – that while some believers felt that all music was forbidden at ALL times, not only during Ramadan, other believers felt that it was not forbidden, as long as it did not deal with forbidden things, like sex. This time, I really did dance. They could explain a complex subject to me in English, and I learned something too. This is the best kind of teaching, when the teacher also gets to learn from her students.
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Early Voting in Florida
