Here There and Everywhere

Expat wanderer

Best Mother’s Day Story

In honor of the upcoming American Mother’s Day (I don’t know why we have it on a different day from the rest of the world) a friend sent this hysterical story, which I am sharing with you.

So, we had this great 10 year old cat named Jack who just recently
died. Jack was a great cat and the kids would carry him around and sit on
him and nothing ever bothered him. He used to hang out and nap all day long
on this mat in our bathroom.

Well we have 3 kids and at the time of this story they were 4 years
old, 3 years old and 1 year old. The middle one is Eli. Eli really loves
chapstick. LOVES it. He kept asking to use my chapstick and then losing
it. So finally one day I showed him where in the bathroom I keep my
chapstick and how he could use it whenever he wanted to but he needed to put
it right back in the drawer when he was done.

Last year on Mother’s Day, we were having the typical rush around
and try to get ready for Church with everyone crying and carrying on. My
two boys are fighting over the toy in the cereal box. I am trying to nurse
my little one at the same time I am putting on my make-up. Everything is a
mess and everyone has long forgotten that this is a wonderful day to honor
me and the amazing job that is motherhood.

We finally have the older one and and the baby loaded in the car and
I am looking for Eli. I have searched everywhere and I finally round the
corner to go into the bathroom. And there was Eli. He was applying my
chapstick very carefully to Jack’s . . . rear end. Eli looked right into my
eyes and said “chapped.” Now if you have a cat, you know that he is
right–their little butts do look pretty chapped. And, frankly, Jack didn’t
seem to mind.

And the only question to really ask at that point was whether it
was the FIRST time Eli had done that to the cat’s behind or the hundredth.

And THAT is my favorite Mother’s Day moment ever because it reminds
us that no matter how hard we try to civilize these glorious little
creatures, there will always be that day when you realize they’ve been using
your chapstick on the cat’s butt.

May 8, 2007 Posted by | Family Issues, Holiday, Humor, Hygiene, Living Conditions, Pets, Relationships, Women's Issues | Leave a comment

Labyrinth by Kate Mosse

When I saw this book at the Barnes and Noble, I thought “isn’t Kate Moss a fashion model?” but that is a different Kate Moss, a Moss without the ‘e’ at the end.

This book was a New York Times bestseller, but then so was the Da Vinci Code, which I thought badly written and sometimes incoherent. The premise was interesting, but it was done years ago by French authors Michael Baigent, Richard Leigh and Henry Lincoln. Holy Blood, Holy Grail hypothesizes (and pulls together a load of hypothetical evidence to support) that the mystical grail is really a symbolic representation of the blood of Christ, that Jesus was not crucified but instead left Jerusalem with his wife Mary Magdeleine and went to France, and started a family there which eventually became the early French royal line.

I remember telling my son this story, as we travelled through the southern areas of France, and him saying in his smart-mouth-teenager way “only the French would be so arrogant as to believe the blood of God was flowing in their veins!”

We spent a lot of time travelling in France. We love France. So when I discovered that Labyrinth was about the beginning of the French crusade against the Cathars, I was delighted. We know this history. We know this area – it is one of the most beautiful areas of France. We know Carcassone, which in its renovation by Viollet-le-Duc is like Disney-does-fortified-city. It’s formidable, but it’s not entirely authentic.

Who are the Cathars? The Cathars were a break-away sect who were called by others ‘bons hommes’ or ‘bons Chretiens’ (good-Christians), but, pre-Luther, they saw many flaws in the way the Catholic church has become more political than spiritual.

They valued inner faith above outward display. They needed no consecrated buildings, no superstitious rituals, no humiliating obeisance designed to keep ordinary men apart from God. They did not worship images, nor prostrate themselves before idols or instruments of torture. For the ‘Bons Chretiens’ the power of God lay in the word. They needed only books and prayers, words spoken and read aloud. Salvations was nothing to do with alms or relics or Sabbath prayers spoken in a language only the priests understood. . . In their eyes, all were equal in the Grace of the Holy Father – Jew or Saracen, man and woman, the beasts of the fields and the birds of the air. There would be no hell, no final day of judgement, because through God’s grace all would be saved, although many would be destined to live life many times over before they regained God’s kingdom.

They believed the earth was created as a trap, by Satan, and that our lives here keep us apart from the glory of God. They believed we keep coming back, until we purify ourselves spiritually, and that in the end, if we get it right, we end up back where we came from, with God. And they believed we all have the right to read the bible, and to talk directly with God, without the necessity of a priest to interpret or to direct.

But this Crusade, the Fourth Crusade, is little known. This Crusade, declared by the Pope to wipe out the Cathar heresy (sometimes known as Bogomilism or Albigencian heresy) was really the tool of the nobility that was then France, less than half of the France of today, to grab the rich, lush southern lands of the Pays d’Oc. The Fourth Crusade was an opportunity for knights to increase their holdings. And it doubled the size of France.

The Labyrinth takes you inside the walls. The main character is not Cathar, but it didn’t matter – this war wasn’t really about wiping out the Cathars as much as subjugating an independant land and making it part of France. You may have heard one famous quote from this Crusade – as the Crusaders were attacking Besiers, the Abbot of Citeaux was asked how the soldiers could tell the good Catholics from the heritics. “Tuez-les tous. Dieu reconnaitra les sien,” he replied – Kill them all. God will know his own.

The book is lightweight, an easy read. The heroine, Alice, seems to have lived before, as Alais, and has memories she has never lived. You jump back and forth between today, and the time of the Crusade, in the early 1200s. Some of the plot mechanisms don’t make a lot of sense, but you do get a real sense of life in a fortified town during the 1200’s, and of the injustice done to this beautiful area in France. For a book I am lukewarm about in retrospect, I read it avidly, and enjoyed the read.

What I like about this book is that it brings to life a time in history that few pay any attention to. Somewhere in the book, it says that “history is written by the victors.” We see France today, and we know little about the struggle that united these diverse areas into one nation. This book illuminates a slice of time, a grave injustice, and a sense that religion is too often a tool for political ends.

Like the heroine, the big church in Carcassone, where the trials and tortures of the ‘heretics’ took place sends a cold chill up my spine, I can hear the screams of the tortured. I love churches, and I can’t go into this one. It feels unholy. Did you know that the origination of the Inquisition was not in Spain, as most people believe, but in this area of France? And it was aimed, first, at the Cathars.

All in all, not a bad book. Though light in plot, it is heavy in content, a book you will remember and think about in terms of issues, if not the main characters.

May 7, 2007 Posted by | Books, Bureaucracy, Communication, Community, Crime, Family Issues, France, Living Conditions, Marriage, Poetry/Literature, Political Issues, Social Issues, Spiritual | 4 Comments

“Who Am I?”

As DNA testing becomes more and more common, surprises are popping up everywhere. This article from BBC is about two Englishwomen who discover they have Native American blood when they send their DNA in for testing.

It’s fascinating to think that migration and trade has left it’s traces generations later. I love the work that is being done with bloodlines these days.

Native American DNA found in UK

DNA testing has uncovered British descendents of Native Americans brought to the UK centuries ago as slaves, translators or tribal representatives.

Genetic analysis turned up two white British women with a DNA signature characteristic of American Indians.

An Oxford scientist said it was extremely unusual to find these DNA lineages in Britons with no previous knowledge of Native American ancestry.

Indigenous Americans were brought over to the UK as early as the 1500s.

It rocked me completely. It made think: who am I?
Doreen Isherwood

Many were brought over as curiosities; but others travelled here in delegations during the 18th Century to petition the British imperial government over trade or protection from other tribes.

Experts say it is probable that some stayed in Britain and married into local communities.

Doreen Isherwood, 64, from Putney, and Anne Hall, 53, of Huddersfield, only found out about their New World heritage after paying for commercial DNA ancestry tests.

Mrs Isherwood told BBC News: “I was expecting the results to say I belonged to one of the common European tribes, but when I got them back, my first thought was that they were a mistake.

“It rocked me completely. It made think: who am I?”

You can read the rest of the article at BBC Science/Nature News, here.

May 7, 2007 Posted by | Community, Cross Cultural, Experiment, Family Issues, Geography / Maps, Health Issues, Mating Behavior, Relationships, Social Issues, Statistics, Technical Issue | 5 Comments

Dark, Disturbing Road

Do you remember the happy books you read? Those that are light and breezy? Those with happy-ever-after endings? Most of the time, my bet would be you don’t. You read them, and they’re gone.

Not this book, The Road, by Cormac McCarthy. I found myself hesitating to even review this book, it is so disturbing to me. The prose is simple, even stark. The atmosphere is relentlessly bleak. The main character, whose name we never know, spends most of the book foraging and scavenging to feed himself and his starving son. The cover says it takes place in America, but it could be anywhere.

It is post-apocalyptic literature at it’s bleakest. All we know is that there were huge balls of light and then everything burned, and kept burning. It is still burning, in some places, during the time span of this novel. It rains or snows most of the time, and the rain is grey and the snow is grey. It is bone-chilling cold, and gathering wood for a fire to keep warm is a constant task.There is never a clear sunny day, only lighter or darker shades of grey. The nights are dark, no moon, no stars, just blackness.

It’s another one of those books I grabbed on the way to the airport without looking too carefully. I saw this was an Oprah Book Club choice and didn’t even read the cover. These books I just grabbed have grabbed me in return – I have read five in a row, books I have to talk over with my husband while I am reading them, they are so full of ideas I need to explore, unsettling settings, shaking to insecurity all that we take for granted.

This one, though, is seriously dark. I read until past midnight last night, adrenaline pumping through my system, as the man and his son evade marauders, thieves, and cannibals. I needed the human warmth of my husband’s body next to mine to drive away the alienation of this book. Even safe in my own bed, though, my sleep is troubled and I wake feeling scared and depressed. As you read The Road, you realize how very thin the veneer of civilization is that holds us together in community, and how that veneer rips when there is no longer law holding back the more powerful, those with weapons, those with more resources. When food becomes scarce, when people become very hungry . . . the rules break down, in serious and unthinkable ways.

If one book can have such an impact on my emotions and feelings of security, I can’t help but think how the trauma of the Iraqi invasion must still be resonating, invisible, below the surface, but an uninvited guest in the daily lives of those who experienced those horrors and trauma in Kuwait. You wonder if you will ever trust in “normal” again?

When your world suddenly shifts in a heartbeat, when your wealth disappears, when you suddenly have only your wits to survive on, how will YOU do?

As the Father and Son travel The Road seeking a warmer climate, and “the good guys”, goodness is remarked by its absence. Our protagonist refuses to help a lost child, a cellar full of people being kept as a food supply, and a couple of men along the road whose situation is even worse than their own. His son, born just after the event which forever changes the world, begs his Dad to share, but the Dad, knowing how spare the food supply is, refuses.

Beyond a crossroads in that wilderness they began to come upon the possessions of travelers abandoned in the road years ago. Boxes and Bags. Everything melted and black. Old suitcases curled shapeless in the heat. Here and there the imprint of things wrested out of the tar by scavengers. A mile on and they began to come upon the dead. Figures half mired in the blacktop, clutching themselves, mouths howling. He put his hand across the boy’s shoulder. Take my hand, he said. I don’t think you should see this.

Yes.
It’s OK Papa.
It’s OK?
They’re already there.
I don’t want you to look.
They’ll still be there.
He stopped and leaned on the cart. He looked down at the road and he looked at the boy. So strangely untroubled.
Why don’t we just go on, the boy said.
Yes. Okay.
They were trying to get away, weren’t they Papa?
Yes. They were.
Why didn’t they leave the road?
They couldn’t. Everything was on fire.

I dropped other things I really needed to do so that I could finish The Road. I can’t spend another night wondering how I would survive in this dog-eat-dog world. I need to move on with my life. I need to shift my focus.

And yet . . . I recommend McCarthy’s The Road to you. It is dark, it is brutal, it is relentlessly bleak, but still there is a thin golden thread of the father and son relationship weaving through the tapestry of despair, which redeems the book. You can’t help but admire the determination to persist, when the signs are all around you that nothing is going to get better. Somehow, in spite of all the despair, there is redemption, and even hope.

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May 6, 2007 Posted by | Adventure, Books, Community, Family Issues, Generational, Living Conditions, Poetry/Literature, Relationships | 5 Comments

MOC Bans Porno Film Sites

Today’s Kuwait Times:

Internet Porno Film Sites
The Ministry of Communication has closed down all new sites that advertise pornographic films. The ministry of Communication represented by Undersecretary Eng. Abdulaziz Al-Osaimi and his counterpart at the Ministry of Information achieved this new step. This move was done in order to have control over the sites, which are being followed by the Ministry of Information. Al-Osaimi has assigned administration director Nassar Al-Kandari to work on closing those sites from the Internet and ensuring that companies do not use other systems to re-open it. The ministry succeeded in coordinating with local internet companies to close all porno sites, but lately the ministry realized that there are new sites marketing through drama films to porno films.

My comments:

I truly hate porn. I hate it because it creates a fantasy world that real women can barely compete with. I bet if men spent half the time and attention on their wives and families that they spend on porn, there wouldn’t be so much divorce. And guys – those women are PAID. They’re ACTING. Most of them would rather be doing anything but what they are doing, but they do it for the MONEY. It’s about as real as the World Wide Wrestling Federation Matches, it’s all staging and airbrushing and making money off YOUR fantasies.

Rant over – reality strikes. How do you ban pornography?

First, how do you define pornography? When I was a student in political science, we spent a week of class time trying to come up with a definition that everyone could buy into. We never succeeded.

There is some pretty powerful erotic literature, erotic art out there, stuff I don’t find pornographic in the least. So what are the guidelines?

Second, WHO defines pornography?

Third, how on earth will the Ministry of Communication and the Ministry of Information keep up with all the new porn sites that keep popping up? These sites make people a LOT of money, they have the money to pay ingenious high tech guys to keep devising new ways to get their product to market.

And last, who is the poor porno-guy who has to watch all this garbage and enforce the ban?

And – is your internet phone still working? 😉

May 5, 2007 Posted by | Bureaucracy, Communication, Community, Cultural, Customer Service, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Kuwait, Living Conditions, Middle East, News, Poetry/Literature, Political Issues, Rants, Relationships, Social Issues, Spiritual, Technical Issue, Women's Issues | 10 Comments

The Truth about Angels

A friend sent me this piece in the morning e-mail. I hadn’t seen it before, and I loved it. Hope you do, too.
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I only know the names of two angels. Hark and Harold.
Gregory, 5

Everybody’s got it all wrong. Angels don’t wear halos anymore. I
forget why, but scientists are working on it.
Olive, 9

It’s not easy to become an angel! First, you die. Then you go to
heaven, then there’s still the flight training to go through. And
then you got to agree to wear those angel clothes.
Matthew, 9

Angels work for God and watch over kids when God has to go do
something else.
Mitchell, 7

My guardian angel helps me with math, but he’s not much good for
science.
Henry, 8

Angels don’t eat, but they drink milk from holy cows.
Jack, 6

Angels talk all the way while they’re flying you up to heaven. The
basic message is where you went wrong before you got dead.
Daniel, 9

When an angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and counts to ten. And
when he lets out his breath, somewhere there’s a tornado.
Reagan, 10

Angels have a lot to do and they keep very busy. If you lose a tooth,
an angel comes in through your window and leaves money under your
pillow. Then when it gets cold, angels go north for the winter.
Sara, 6

Angels live in cloud houses made by God and his son, who’s a very
good carpenter.
Jared , 8

All angels are girls because they gotta wear dresses and boys didn’t
go for it.
Antonio, 9

My angel is my grandma who died last year. She got a big head start
on helping me while she was still down here on earth.
Katelynn, 9

Some of the angels are in charge of helping heal sick animals and
pets. And if they don’t make the animals get better, they help the
kid get over it.
Vicki, 8

What I don’t get about angels is why, when someone is in love, they
shoot arrows at them.
Sarah, 7

(Image courtesy fotosearch.

May 5, 2007 Posted by | Cultural, Family Issues, Humor, Spiritual | 4 Comments

Sparkle Plenty Jumps In

Sparkle Plenty has always loved good jewelry. She is on first name terms with the major jeweler in our home town, and they always grin when she walks in. Her blogging name is well chosen!
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She is my sister, although almost of another generation. She is the youngest aunt, the “fun” aunt. Everyone likes hanging around Sparkle Plenty’s house – and all the cousins gather there around the pool – or the pool table. Sparkle Plenty and her husband have all the fun toys, the fun gatherings and her house is full of laughter.

Her house is also full of pets. She and her husband, Mariner Man, have a soft spot for anything lost or injured or abandoned. One by one, they have gathered a menagerie of cats, dogs and birds who are all grateful not to be out on the streets. They take the ones who limp, the ones no-one else wants. Sparkle Plenty and Mariner Man are all about heart.

After a couple months of commenting, now she had jumped in to the blogging party, and her theme, Flashes of Light that catch the eye, the mind and the heart is perfectly expressive of her goodness and her compassion and her yearning to be a force for good in the universe. Welcome Sparkle Plenty, and may the force of good be with you!

Please visit Sparkle Plenty and welcome her to our virtual community.

May 4, 2007 Posted by | Adventure, Blogging, Books, Communication, Community, Family Issues, Friends & Friendship, Generational, Living Conditions, Relationships, Seattle, Social Issues | 4 Comments

“We Think We Are SO Hot”

The scene: Gulf Road, night, and these two “hotties” are weaving in and out, going through the red lights and busy looking everywhere but where they are going, checking to see if everyone can see how very cool they are. Oh – under the left arm of the guy in back is his helmet. The guy in front has his between his legs. How cool is that?

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The tires on this very tired motorbike have no tread left. These two young men have no protective clothing on. They are hopped up on adreneline and eager to see and be seen.

May 3, 2007 Posted by | Adventure, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Health Issues, Kuwait, Mating Behavior, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Welcome, Earthling!

The commenter on this blog known as Earthling, now has his own blog under his own name. A geographer with GoogleEarth, he has frequently given info and tips on Google Earth which I have passed along to you.

His blog is a hoot. Matt is a picky eater, surrounded at Google by free, high quality food in huge abundance and variety, and that is what he is blogging about. Maybe he will also show their on-site laundry and gym facilities 😉

In spite of his self-proclaimed picky eating habits, Matt is a very good cook, a creative cook, and I always loved it when I could hear him puttering around in the kitchen because something good was going to come out of it all. His one food addiction is hot peppery sauces, and his Jambalaya is so fiery I can’t eat but a bite or two.

Here is a Matt story (every family has these stories):

One day Matt’s Mom was making dinner when Matt, about fifteen at the time, walked in and asked “what’s for dinner?” She told him. Twenty minutes later the delivery man from a local restaurant pulled up and rang the doorbell – Matt’s dinner had arrived. Matt’s Mom was dumbfounded, and then laid down the law – if she was going to all the trouble of fixing dinner, her family would eat it! No delivery!

You can find him HERE at Google-Food-Spot.

Check in and give him a big welcome, please.

May 3, 2007 Posted by | Blogging, Communication, Community, Cooking, Diet / Weight Loss, Eating Out, Family Issues, Generational, Geography / Maps, GoogleEarth, Living Conditions | 6 Comments

Readings for Today

You will notice to the right, in my Blogroll, is an entry for The Lectionary. The Lectionary readings are scheduled so that every three years you read completely through the Bible. Actually, my sect, which is Episcopalian (the American version of Anglican, although the two have been closer at some times than others) shares the same readings with many other Christians, we also have some books/chapters in our Bible that most of the main-line Protestant bibles don’t have.

Today’s gospel reading is one of the hardest ones. You look at it and you read it and it SOUNDS so simple:

Luke 6:27-38

27 ‘But I say to you that listen, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,
28bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.
29If anyone strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also; and from anyone who takes away your coat do not withhold even your shirt.
30Give to everyone who begs from you; and if anyone takes away your goods, do not ask for them again.
31Do to others as you would have them do to you.

32 ‘If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them.
33If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same.
34If you lend to those from whom you hope to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to receive as much again.
35But love your enemies, do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return.* Your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High; for he is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked. 36Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

37 ‘Do not judge, and you will not be judged; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven;
38give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap; for the measure you give will be the measure you get back.’

There is nothing easy about loving your enemy. One priest, as I was anguishing through this passage, told me “You don’t have to LIKE them, but you MUST love them.” That helped, but still, loving your enemy is probably the hardest thing on earth to do. And “Do not judge”????? Holy smokes, we judge one another on a daily basis, and usually not to their credit.

Give, even if you think the begger may be lying?

And then, the hardest one of all – “Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” So like, if I don’t forgive . . . I don’t get forgiveness? Like I have to give up my grudges, the chip on my shoulder? I have to forgive the unforgivable, the personal insults, the slights, the jerk who cuts me off on the road? I have to forgive my neighbor? I have to forgive my friend? My husband? George Bush? Osama bin Laden? I have to forgive to receive forgiveness??

But, at the last, the reward – that no matter how hard it is, if you follow these rules, abundant life will be poured in your lap.

You can follow the daily readings by clicking on the Lectionary, in the blogroll, and scrolling down to the current week. Click on the week and it will take you to the daily readings, which include the Psalms, the Old Testament, the New Testament and the Gospel. The reading above, from Luke, is today’s Gospel reading.

May 2, 2007 Posted by | Blogroll, Cultural, Family Issues, Random Musings, Relationships, Social Issues, Spiritual | 4 Comments