Alphabet Tag! You’re It!
A: Available or single — Definitely taken.
B: Best Friend — My college buddy, Alison, through thick and thin. But there are a whole band of good buddies out there. You know who you are.
C: Cake or pie —Pie, Rhubarb or Blueberry
D: Dance or exercise — Either, as long as there is laughing.
E: Essential Item — My laptop
F: Favorite color — Blue / Purple
G: Gummy bears or worms — Gummy Bears, red ones.
H: Home town — Kuwait and Seattle.
I: Indulgence — I still date my husband.
J: January or February — Both! Two of my favorite months in Kuwait
K: Kids — The hope of the future. I love their questions.
L: Life — God willing, we get the life we were created to live.
M: Marriage — Partnership
N: Number of siblings —2
O: Oranges or apples — Apples fresh from the tree, or refrigerated, cold and crispy
P: Phobias — Zombies, wild bear, things that would kill me without thinking twice about it.
Q: Quote: Of all God’s creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with a cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat. Mark Twain
R: Reasons to smile — 180 degrees of Gulf view
S: Season — Autumn – love the coolness, the hint of cold to come, the freshness and new beginnings (school starts).
T: Tag 3 people: No surprises: Skunk, Zin/1001 Nights and Little Diamond
U: Unknown fact about me — My niece thinks I am an artist; I think I just have a craft.
V/W: Worst habit —I am very focused and I really really like being alone.
X/Y: Your favorite Food — Pacific Northwest Bouillabaisse, but fish soup in almost every culture.
Z: Zodiac —Aquarius – that’s why Elijah and I tag each other.
Real Simple
It’s a quiet Friday morning and we have time to loll around before we have to get ready for church. I am focused on writing a tough entry for my blog and Adventure Man is on the couch, paging through a magazine, Real Simple.
He starts reading from an article called “Is he driving you crazy?” which lists the top five complaints of women, and then men:
Women:
He’s not affectionate enough.
He doesn’t listen to me.
He doesn’t help around the house.
He raises his voice when we argue.
He never talks about tough issues.
Men:
She’s trying to control me.
She objects when I need time alone.
We don’t have enough sex.
She criticizes me.
She treats me like an idiot.
The whole article, with all the expert solutions, is available HERE.
Two of them cracked us up.
Her Complaint: He’s not affectionate enough
Expert: Even though your partner loves you, he might express his feelings differently. Generally speaking, “men feel closer when there’s sex. For women to feel affectionate, there has to be talk.”
His complaint: We don’t have enough sex
Expert: The impulse to get romantic declines for most couples but “men are more likely to feel an urge for sex,” says (expert). “Once women get going, they enjoy it but often they don’t have the same initial urge they might have had as teenagers.” So if he’s rushing you to bed, let him know that you’d like to cuddle and talk a bit first . . . If your needs are truly mis-matched, talk about how many “relations” you’ll have in your relationship. Ask “What’s your ideal range of frequency per week? If he says three to five, and you say one to three, then aim for an average of about three times.”
Here is what got us rolling with laughter – my husband is a consumate negotiator. It doesn’t matter what the reality would be, he would up the figure. So like he might say “30 times a week” knowing that half that would be twice a day. It wouldn’t matter that he really doesn’t want sex twice a day, he would have sealed a deal that guaranteed him sex twice a day IF he wanted it.
But he knows my tricks, too, and moments later he is showered, shaved, he smells wonderful AND . . . he is making the bed! He totally knows how to get what he wants.
Kuwait Machine Gun?
From yesterday’s Kuwait Times.
Three Shot at by Teenagers
Two Kuwaiti citizens and a bedoon man were transferred to Jahra hospital after three teenagers shot them using a machine gun and ran away. The victims stressed they did not know why the assailants, who were travelling in a Japanese car, shot at them. The case is under investigation.
My comment: My husband, when I told him about this story, says that most people don’t know the difference between a machine gun and an automatic weapon, which can fire a series of shots in rapid succession. Somehow, the distinction fails to reassure me. Teenagers – children – with automatic weapons?? Where are these weapons coming from? How did they get their hands on them?
There has been a big to-do over Muna Al-Fuzai’s tongue-in-cheek article about Kuwait and subsequent defense of what she said.
Guys: Stop talking and listen for a change. Yes, Kuwait is a wonderful place, she is not saying differently. She is Kuwaiti and she loves Kuwait. She has a right to say what she sees and hears, and she has taken a courageous and controversial stand. You don’t have to agree with her, and she still has a right to her opinion. Did you notice? Her column is OPINION.
You are also entitled to your opinion.
First – Take a deep breath. Ask your mother, your wife, your sister, your maid – how safe she feels taking a taxi alone at night – if that is even an option. Ask her if she is careful where she walks. Ask her about her experiences with the police. Ask her if she will go to any ATM, or only “safe” ones.
As I see it, Kuwait has a huge bachelor population, and few options for these bachelors. Women here know to travel in groups, to be watchful, and to be wary. There is a problem.
And it’s not women, it is also children. It’s unthinkable.
Couple this with weak regard for the law and weak enforcement of the law, and you will see that there is a problem.
And where did these kids get automatic weapons? ? ? These problems are all connected to weak law enforcement, lack of respect for the law and a sense of entitlement. Entitled to take an automatic and shoot people? ? Entitled to TAKE sex from someone smaller and weaker than you? ?
It’s not just lack of respect for the law, it’s the law of the jungle.
Marriage – A Great Adventure
I remember the day we looked at each other in astonishment, the day we realized we had lived with each other longer than we had lived with our own parents. We think of family cultures as the culture we grew up in, but in our years together, we have created our own family culture, haven’t we?
We chose one another, in itself, a great adventure. We chose a life full of change and risk. We stacked the obstacles against our survival as a couple, and yet we prevailed, by the grace of God.
We laugh at how young we were to have made such a lifelong commitment. We laugh at how we walked into parenthood – no, RAN into parenthood, joyfully, with no clues as to the huge responsibilities, the agonies as well as the intense delights.
Happy Anniversary, Adventure Man. I thank God for our marriage, and our partnership.
These are for you.
Morning in the bush
Picnic Stop
The thrill of the chase
The Great Migration
Zanzibar
Exercise After Eating
From BBC Health News:
Exercising after meals can help promote weight loss by boosting hormones that suppress appetite, say UK scientists.
Thanks to these hormones, active people feel less hungry immediately after exercise, and this carries through to their next meal, experiments suggest.
Even when their meals were bigger, sporty people gained fewer calories overall because they burned off more.
The Surrey University and Imperial College London work is published in the Journal of Endocrinology.
Exercise may alter people’s appetite to help them lose weight
Twelve volunteers were fed the same breakfast.
An hour later, half of them worked out for an hour on an exercise bike while the other half sat quietly.
Both groups were left for another hour and then allowed to eat as much as they liked.
Unsurprisingly, people who exercised burned more calories than those who sat quietly, 492 kcal compared to 197 kcal.
And when given the chance to eat afterwards, people who had exercised tended to eat more, 913 kcal versus to 762 kcal.
However, when the amount of energy burned during exercise was taken into account, the sporty people took in fewer calories overall – 421 kcal compared to 565 kcal for the inactive group.
And levels of hormones called PYY, GLP-1 and PP, which tell the brain when the stomach is full, increased during and immediately after exercise.
Volunteers also said they felt less hungry during this time.
Researcher Dr Denise Robertson said: “In the past we have been concerned that, although exercise burns energy, people subsequently ate more after working out. This would cancel out any possible weight reduction effects of exercise.
“But our research shows that exercise may alter people’s appetite to help them lose weight and prevent further weight gain as part of a healthy, balanced lifestyle.”
My comment: We keep hoping we can lose the weight with no sweat, but it seems like everywhere we turn, the secret seems to be . . . eat less . . . exercise more. You can read the rest of the story HERE.
Spoiler
We were having a big film fest in Pensacola, and five minutes into The Prestige my son asked me if I knew how it was going to end.
This started a long time ago. They think I am amazing. Most of the time, I get it right. Sometimes, with Law and Order, or CSI, there is a twist I hadn’t thought of. I read a lot of mysteries and . . . there is a secret.
Don’t go any further if you like NOT knowing how a show is going to end.
Here is the secret. A movie or a TV show only has a limited amount of time to tell the story. You can figure that most of the information they give you is significant. Like in Law and Order, a lot of times it’s one of the people they originally interview, even if they came off well in the interview. (Those guys have gotten more and more tricky, though, and it gets harder to figure out all the time.) Listen for something that could be a lie.
The Prestige suffered a little from it’s own arrogance. They TELL us right at the beginning what the story will be, what the twist is, and how it will be accomplished, if you are watching closely and thinking “why might this be important?”
My son had already seen it. I told him “this, this and this” and he didn’t say anything, just said I had to see if I was right. Hee Hee heee . . . I was. And he was so poker faced I didn’t know how blown away he was that I had figured it out.
You can, too.
And if you haven’t seen The Prestige, it is a very good movie. It appears to be coming to Super Movies sometime soon.
Some Misery Unavoidable
Accepting the bad times could make for a happy marriage
From BBC Health News
The key to a happy relationship could be accepting that some miserable times are unavoidable, experts say.
Therapists from California State University, Northridge and Virginia Tech say accepting these problems is better than striving for perfection.
And they blame cultural fairytales and modern love stories for perpetuating the myth that enjoying a perfect relationship is possible.
The report was published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy.
The authors, Dr Diane Gehart and Dr Eric McCollum say it is a “myth that, with enough effort we can achieve a state without suffering.”
And they say healthcare professionals may not be helping the situation.
“The field of mental health perpetuates this myth with the very concept of “mental health,” which implies a state without suffering,” they say.
Potentially damaging
But this belief can eventually cause people to believe that with enough effort they can eliminate suffering.
And experts say this is an unrealistic aim in relationships, and striving to achieve it can lead people to feel they have failed.
Jan Parker of the Association of Family Therapy said: “The authors are right to point out that the pursuit of relationship nirvana can be potentially damaging.”
She said it was important to explore what people mean by a happy and healthy relationship, because nobody’s life or relationship can be in a permanent state of happiness – there will always be more difficult times.
She said couples need to build strengths, such as understanding, in their relationships to help them cope in these hard times and appreciate the good times.
Mrs Nadine Field, a consultant psychologist, said it was a “fantasy” that any relationship could be perfect and that striving for such an impossible state could lead to bitter disappointment.
She said this disappointment could then cause people to focus on the negative aspects of a relationship, and lead to more disappointment and resentment.
She said: “People need to try to understand their partners through communication, rather than demanding perfection of them.”
Read the rest of the article here.
Google Street View Peeping?
I found this article on AOL, but it is from the New York Times originally.
Google Zooms In Too Close for Some
By MIGUEL HELFT, The New York Times
The New York Times
OAKLAND, Calif. (June 2) – For Mary Kalin-Casey, it was never about her cat.
Google said it takes privacy seriously and considered the implications of its service before it was introduced. “Street View only features imagery taken on public property,” it said.
Ms. Kalin-Casey, who manages an apartment building here with her husband, John Casey, was a bit shaken when she tried a new feature in Google’s map service called Street View. She typed in her address and the screen showed a street-level view of her building. As she zoomed in, she could see Monty, her cat, sitting on a perch in the living room window of her second-floor apartment.
“The issue that I have ultimately is about where you draw the line between taking public photos and zooming in on people’s lives,” Ms. Kalin-Casey said in an interview Thursday on the front steps of the building. “The next step might be seeing books on my shelf. If the government was doing this, people would be outraged.”
Her husband quickly added, “It’s like peeping.”
Ms. Kalin-Casey first shared her concerns about the service in an e-mail message to the blog Boing Boing on Wednesday. Since then, the Web has been buzzing about the privacy implications of Street View — with varying degrees of seriousness. Several sites have been asking users to submit interesting images captured by the Google service, which offers panoramic views of miles of streets around San Francisco, New York, Las Vegas, Miami and Denver.
On a Wired magazine blog, for instance, readers can vote on the “Best Urban Images” that others find in Street View. On Thursday afternoon, a picture of two young women sunbathing in their bikinis on the Stanford campus in Palo Alto, Calif., ranked near the top. Another showed a man scaling the front gate of an apartment building in San Francisco. The caption read, “Is he breaking in or has he just locked himself out?”
Google said in a statement that it takes privacy seriously and considered the privacy implications of its service before it was introduced on Tuesday. “Street View only features imagery taken on public property,” the company said. “This imagery is no different from what any person can readily capture or see walking down the street.”
You can read the rest of the article on AOL MOney News by clicking here.
My comment: I am a huge fan of transparency, so you might think this new ability wouldn’t bother me. But the transparency I favor is transparency of business and government transactions, not people taking in my behavior in my own house! I am also a huge fan of personal privacy, and while a street view that just shows my cat in the window wouldn’t be alarming, it tells me that photos shot at night, which would show the interior of my residence, are also possible, and that thought troubles me very much.
Our homes are our castles! If my husband wants to walk around in his underwear (or less 😉 ) and I want to wear my nightgown all day when I am working on a special project, honestly, it is not YOUR business, nor anyone else on the internet! Do you want photos published, taken of you unaware in your own house? This capability is terrifying!
Competitive Family Values
Even within national cultures, there are family cultures. You don’t really think about it when you are a kid, you think all families are like your family. It isn’t until you get older that you understand just how unique – even quirky – your own family is.
In our family, we were bred to be competitive. We started early, with simple card games and board games. We swam on swimming teams, we competed for grades. Doing well, doing our best was expected of us.
And then, we turned around and did it to our own children!
We used to have big family reunions in a small town along the Oregon beach. We stayed in an old complex, where there were two large units that shared a deck, and then several small cabins. The very social parts of the family shared the two large units – my mom and dad, and her brother and his wife – and the rest of us had the cabins, one to each family, althought the kids roamed from cabin to cabin – our children have always had the freedom of belonging to one great tribe!
Daytimes would be full of adventures – not everyone doing the same thing, but smaller groups having dodge-boat competitions, groups going on shopping expeditions to nearby towns, hiking in the parks, having some beach time – jumping the amazingly high waves in the amazingly cold Pacific ocean.
Around 5, people would start to gather on the big deck in preparation for dinner. Dinner might come out of the kitchens, or we might order food in, but once dinner was out of the way, the BIG competitions would begin.
Every year there was a huge hearts tournament, and a Liar’s Dice tournement. The family took these very seriously, from oldest to youngest, everyone entered, everyone competed. We took it so seriously that we had trophies that would be engraved with the winner’s names and passed along from year to year. We took it so seriously that sometimes there would be injured feelings when someone lost. Everyone wanted to be the winner, and in a family full of people used to winning, feelings ran high.
Giving up needing to win all the time has been seriously hard. There are still times when I am in a situation where I feel the adrenelin start pumping and I have to stop myself and say “Do you want to win this battle or do you want to win the war?” i.e., like chess, sometimes you have to sacrifice a pawn to achieve a greater victory down the road. Do I need to win every arguement at the cost of losing a friend? Do I need to win at the cost of my community?
I also think needing to win takes its toll in one’s health – when I allow myself NOT to need to win all the time, I feel calmer, more serene, and happier. I can’t help but think that being calm, serene and happy are probably good things to be in terms of health. Competition gets your heart beating faster, pumping through the veins, but can also take it’s toll in bad eating, bad sleeping and bad exercise habits.
My parents did a good thing encouraging us to be our best, to seek personal excellence and to strive for personal achievements; I honor them for that. When it comes to winning, however, I want to stop and count the cost before I proceed full steam ahead.
What does your family value? What attributes did they encourage you to develop?
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Early Voting in Florida
Here There and Everywhere 