Thank You, Montana
A moment of clarity and good will brought to us by one of the manliest, reddest states in the
USA. Every family has individuals with gender issues. We’ve learned not to demonize our brothers and sisters, not to punish them for the way they are wired. Thank you, Montana for a breath of fresh air and good sense. Thank you, Washington Post, for a lucid exposition of the actions taken.
With GOP help, Montana lawmakers vote down transgender bathroom rule
The measure would have barred Rep. Zooey Zephyr from using women’s bathrooms near the House and Senate chambers.
Montana state Rep. Zooey Zephyr (D) stands in protest on the House floor on April 24, 2023 at the state Capitol in Helena. (Thom Bridge/Independent Record/AP)
Several Montana Republicans joined Democrats on Tuesday to block a measure that would have barred transgender lawmakers from using the state Capitol bathrooms that aligned with their gender identities.
The proposed measure would have banned Rep. Zooey Zephyr, a transgender Democratic lawmaker who was reelected in November, from using the women’s bathroom outside Montana’s House and Senate chambers. Last year, Zephyr was silenced in the House after speaking out against her Republican colleagues for their support of a ban on gender-affirming care for transgender children.
Weeks ahead of her return to the House floor, Zephyr’s colleagues in the chamber rejected the bathroom measure in a 12-10 vote. Three Republicans joined Democrats in voting against it, characterizing it as a rule that would not add value to their work while also noting they didn’t necessarily disagree with the ideology driving it.
Zephyr told The Washington Post on Wednesday that she was grateful to her GOP colleagues who voted “no.” She said she has a “good working relationship” with them, adding that their votes against the measure showed they were “able to recognize this for the distraction that it is.”
(Created with Datawrapper/The Washington Post)
Anti-trans bills have doubled since 2022. Our map shows where states stand.
“I hope that it serves as a signal to other Republicans across the country that there are more important things that governments should be focusing on besides targeting transgender people,” Zephyr said.
Montana’s measure paralleled a resolution introduced by Rep. Nancy Mace (R-South Carolina) last month that proposed changing House rules to ban trans lawmakers and visitors to the U.S. Capitol from using bathrooms associated with their gender identity. Mace’s resolution came two weeks after Sarah McBride, a Democrat from Delaware, became the first openly trans person elected to Congress.
Ahead of Tuesday’s vote, state Rep. David Bedey (R) said he would “reluctantly” cast a “no” vote, describing the measure as “a distraction.” Bedey, though, also made clear that he still had his “own opinion” on gender dysphoria, which he said was a “scientific issue actually that needs to be resolved.”
“This particular action will have the effect of making people famous in the national news and will not contribute to the effective conduct of our business,” Bedey said.
The Montana legislature made headlines across the country in April 2023, when the House was discussing four anti-trans bills — one of them a ban on gender-affirming care for trans children.
During an April 18 debate on the House floor, Zephyr said restricting access to care for trans minors was “tantamount to torture.”
“This body should be ashamed,” she said.
Later on in her remarks, addressing colleagues supporting the ban, Zephyr said: “I hope the next time there’s an invocation, when you bow your heads in prayer, you see the blood on your hands.”
Afterward, GOP leaders in the House silenced Zephyr, declining to recognize her during debate for days. Protests ensued, and about one week later, Zephyr’s Republican colleagues voted to formally punish her, saying that her comments were derogatory and that she had violated decorum in the legislature.
Zephyr was no longer allowed to debate and could only vote remotely.
Montana’s legislature did not meet this year, meaning Zephyr’s reelection last month opened the door for her to return to the House floor in January for the first time in 19 months.
On Tuesday, the Joint Rules Committee met to discuss amending rules ahead of the new legislative session, including the bathroom measure.
State Rep. Jerry Schillinger opened the discussion by saying that the proposal put forth a “relatively simple rule change.”
“It says what probably shouldn’t need to be said and puts into rules what probably shouldn’t need to be put into rules,” Schillinger said.
Multiple Republicans agreed with him.
State Rep. Jedediah Hinkle (R) said he knew multiple lawmakers who did not use the women’s bathroom outside the House and Senate chambers, adding that they walked across the Capitol to use a different one because they were uncomfortable “being in the same bathroom with a man,” an apparentreference to Zephyr.
He urged his colleagues to help Montana set an early precedent as lawmakers around the country are beginning to confront the same issue in legislative buildings.
Hinkle did not call out Zephyr by name but indirectly referenced her in his argument supporting the measure.
“We have one representative right now, but in the future, we could have many,” Hinkle said. “This could be an ongoing thing, and I think it’s time that this body addresses this issue now, as they are addressing it nationally.”
During the last legislative session, Hinkle said, lawmakers had installed locks on the doors leading into multi-stall bathrooms to permit individual legislators to use them alone if they desired.But that accommodation did not work, he said, adding that it kept lawmakers from their duties. Bedey, one of the Republicans who voted against the measure, later countered Hinkle’s point, saying that there was no evidence that lawmakers had missed votes.
Otherwise, Bedey said, he “might have a different opinion.” Following about 12 minutes of discussion, the measure passed in the Senate committee, 11-7. But the House voted it down, aided by the Republican votes. Zephyr commended her GOP colleagues who voted against it.
“I think those Republicans are likely talking to people in their district who are also saying, ‘Listen, people of Montana are struggling right now,’” Zephyr told The Post.
She said Wednesday that there were issues — including housing and health care — to address in the months to come, and a measure about the Montana Capitol bathrooms “is not helpful for the work that we were sent here to do.”
What Love Looks Like at 76
I’m on my way down to restock the Little Free Library and pass AdventureMan, who always asks me why I love him. It’s hard to keep it fresh. It’s hard to find new answers to that question, but this time, it’s right there in front of me.
“Who likes to clean out the litter box?” I ask. He looks puzzled.
“No-one!” I answer my own question, but I continue “I love you because you clean out the litter box in hot humid weather, even when you don’t want to, and give the cats a nice clean place to poop! I love you because you do it faithfully, and I don’t have to do it! It’s not romantic, but I consider it TRUE LOVE!”
It makes him laugh. I am not the romantic young bride he met in Heidelberg and married six weeks later. I am pragmatic and grounded. I know what matters.
We have always had cats. I used to do the litter boxes, and when I got pregnant, he took it over because pregnant women can get a disease that can infect the baby. Around when our son turned 18 he had a perplexed look on his face and asked me “just how long after the baby is born can you scoop litter again?” and we both laughed.
True love is bigger than diamonds or white roses or wonderful perfume. True love is scooping the cat litter and cleaning out the litter boxes. Thank you, AdventureMan.
“We Call Her Meanie”
We are sitting in our backyard with our neighbor, Marvin’s person, and I asked her if she had ever had any other cats, or knew of any other cats in our neighborhood, who were neutered and microchipped but didn’t seem to belong to anyone. I had my reasons.
She named a couple – Cindy Clawford, and one we call Fuzzy Tail, and Goblin. And then she says
“And there was one, we call her Meanie, who used to hang around, but I haven’t seen her for a long time.”
I didn’t say anything. “Meanie” is likely the cat who bit my hand the first time I fed her, she was so hungry and had no manners. I had to have antibiotics for the first time in 30 years, and a shot of some kind. She wanted to live with us but she was too feral. She lived outside for a year.
It was a very very hot summer, and she had a thick fur coat. When Goblin or another cat would go after her, she would run to the drain in the street and hide inside. We were terrified we would find her body in the street one day. And it was hot, too hot for her to live on our porch living in a fur coat. AdventureMan wanted to bring her in. She adored him.
A friend helped us trap her to get her neutered – and we discovered she was already neutered and chipped, but had no registered owner.
“Meanie” was a scary cat. You couldn’t move too fast or she would hiss, and occasionally lash out with her sharp claws, or even bite. We have to keep the door closed between the front and back areas of our house so she won’t attack our two very domestic male cats. Slowly, slowly, we have gained her trust and she is learning manners which are more suitable for living with people. We have taught her to cuddle, by moving slowly with her. She no longer bites. She no longer uses her sharp claws, except to knead when she is cuddling, purring and happy. (Ouch!)
We call her Zenobia, after the warrior queen of the Syrian desert, who ruled in Palmyra.
Ghosted – A Happy Ending
Our housekeeper, staying in our house as we travel, sent this photo to us the day after we left Pensacola. This old, wobbly, emaciated cat showed up hungry! She fed him and asked me what we wanted to do.
We’ve never seen this cat before. We have a flock of known outdoor cats we help, and this isn’t one of them. This cat appears wretched. We asked that she continue to feed him, and add some beef broth to make sure he gets enough hydration. She checks with a mutual friend, a cat consultant with Everett Animal Welfare group, who gives us advice.
When we return, he is still alive, and looking a little better, we think. We take him to the vet; the vet requires a name and we decide to call him Sunny, for his always loving and uncomplaining personality.
The vet has sad news. He runs all the tests, the cat is negative for feline AIDS, and other diseases, but his thyroid is shot and his kidneys are on their last legs. He is not microchipped. There is nothing the vet can do, and he tells us to make Sunny comfortable and enjoy these last weeks of his life.
Sunny can barely walk, but he doesn’t know he is sick. He bleeds from the mouth, his teeth hurt him so we buy him special food. He never tucks right into his food, he always politely demands we pet him around the head and scratch under his chin. He rolls on the ground and fondles our shoes. Then he eats. And eats. And eats. He also drinks, but because he is so arthritic, we provide a bucket for him so he doesn’t have to bend down. We are happy, because while he is not strong, he does not appear terminal, and he does not appear to have pain, other than he can barely walk.
And then, last night, he disappeared.
From the day he came, he has not moved around too much, other than to be a little private in his eliminations. When we leave, we always check to see where he is and run for the car. Sometimes, if he is under AdventureMan’s car, we take my car. He is always there, and rises to greet us when we return. He greeted us when we returned from lunch yesterday. I saw him sleeping around 3. And then, we never saw him again.
He didn’t show up for his dinner (!!!) and he wasn’t helping AdventureMan with watering the plants. He was gone, as mysteriously as he had appeared. Ghosted.
He broke AdventureMan’s heart, who had quickly bonded with Sunny. He was up and down all night, checking hopefully to see if he had returned. I was sure he would show up this morning, hungry for breakfast, but no Sunny.
I was just putting away the ironing board when AdventureMan came running out this morning saying “You are NOT going to believe this.” He had his phone in his hand, but I thought maybe he had seen Sunny outside. No, he hadn’t. But he had sent a text to our up-the-hill neighbor, asking her to keep an eye out for this emaciated old cat we had been taking care of.
Her response was astonishing. “That’s Marvin!” she texted. He had disappeared when we left for Paris, and they had been looking for him. Then they got really sick with COVID and had to take care of themselves and lost hope of ever seeing Marvin again. And Marvin returned home yesterday!
I remembered Marvin – a big, fat, fluffy cat who ran around their yard in the company of their ancient aunt, who adored him. That this tiny (maybe 3 – 4 pounds) cat could be Marvin was a shocker, but happy news.
This Sunny, who turns out to be Marvin, is safely home. No wonder he is such a happy cat – he is 18 years old and has been loved all his life. His appearance at our house was a mystery – how could such a weak cat get to our house? Could he have been dumped? The mystery is solved, our neighbor is ecstatic, and we are happy to know that Sonny/Marvin will live and end his life in comfort and a loving environment. She’s glad he was taken care of during the weeks of is absence. I call that a happy ending.
Tauck Ms. Sapphire: En Route to Versailles
As we are packing, we keep the curtains – and our eyes – open. We are watching for La Roche-Guyon, an ancient castle confiscated by Rommel to be used as his headquarters. I know this because AdventureMan tells me. Several times. He is excited. When we passed it the last time, he was asleep. This time, we will see it.
But first, there is a youth competition we have to see. Kamel, the Cruise Director, is hilarious. He has rules, but they are his rules, and while mostly fair, the outcome seems to benefit the maximum number of people possible, and this is truly a gift.
Todays competitions are hilarious! A race with an egg in a spoon held in your mouth! Successfully hoola-hooping, and racing around the lounge. Stacking your team shoes. Who can wrap the best mummy? The youth go at it with focused enthusiasm – they want to win! Kamel expertly corrals the excited, yelling, screaming parents.
Balloon Volley Ball
And he got the youth to clean up the mess!
Passing fascinating scenes
La Roche-Guyon!
And we go through the locks. It is a tight fit!
Free at last!
Tauck Seine: Les Andelys and Chateau Gaillard
You can see the Seine twist and turn as it flows from Paris to Vernon (and Giverny) and to Chateau Gaillard.
We dock in Les Andelys to hike up to Chateau Gaillard, a castle built by Richard the Lionheart in record time, and later used by King Philip the Fair to jail his adulterous daughters-in-law.
The Church, Notre Dame, shows signs of needing repair, but the French government is currently strapped for cash. In front of the church, the guide pointed to a statue, and said “This is Jesus.”
You can see signs of water damage on the walls. I can’t imagine what it would take to fix that and make it waterproof.
We have little sprinkles of rain, the first we have seen, and fortunately it is a rare occurrence on this trip.
Tauck Museum Day and Sail Away
We have a good friend who once grumbled “Here we are on a sea day, paying $1000 a day to sit and read!” He made us laugh, we are heavy into itineraries, and we also appreciate a day to kick back.
Today, once again, Tauck has a full itinerary for us; an early-morning Tauck guest-only visit to the Marmottan, the Monet museum not too far from our ship, then a walking tour of the Montmartre, lunch in Montmartre, and then an afternoon at the Musee’ D’Orsay. It sounds wonderful, and I wave my family off, I’ve done all three before and I am feeling tired and dehydrated – it’s been so hot, and we’ve been on the move. I want a quiet day.
AdventureMan and Q have their own goal to accomplish today, a visit to the Invalides, Napoleon’s tomb and the French Army Museum. They are gamers, and they love to have “feet on the ground” with military history.
They take the train, get there early and make their rounds before the crowds arrive. They are back on the boat by lunch time.
That look in his eye: “I’m taller than you are!”
The passengers return, people settle in on the upper deck, and we sail away!
The sail-away is so much fun. Most of the passengers are all up on the top deck, and the ship first goes toward Paris, toward the statue of Liberty copy and the Eifel Tower, and hangs out for about fifteen minutes, changing positions, so that every family can get their photo taken with the statue and/or the tower in the background.
Mostly we just chill.
It’s a total accident that my grandson has a balloon coming out of his head.
I think this was also the night of the first youth dinner, in the aft restaurant, while the grown-ups ate together in the more formal restaurant. What I found really wonderful was that all the young people who had been so eager to be off and catching up with their new friends during family-style dinners were popping in just to check in, kind of like they were worried we were having too much fun without them!
Another wonderful thing happened. As we sailed down the twisty curvy Seine towards Giverney, the temperatures began dropping. What a wonderful relief!
Tauck Treats: A Day of Amazement in Paris
Sunrise over the Seine, and yes, that is the Eifel Tower and it is another glorious (and hot) day. We are still jet lagging, which means getting up early is easy.
It is wonderful to have a grandson who has a good eye with a camera.
The area where we are docked is modern, with businesses, apartment blocks, a little industrial, and – we are right by a beautiful park with an air balloon, convenient to a train station just steps away on a major line that can take us anywhere we want to go (K discovered this yesterday and shares with us) and we are sleeping on the Seine with a view of the Eifel tower. For me, it just never fails to thrill.
Tauck Treats. Today is a day like no other, for me. Today, I just do what I’m told, go where I am taken and I don’t have to make things happen, just be fully present. I love it. Tauck doesn’t tell you everything you’re going to do; it is a mystery, a treat when it happens. One of today’s treats is that they are giving us Euros to find where we want to eat. The amount is generous, and some are choosing to eat street food and spend the rest on souvenirs.
One surprise is that we are on a smaller, private Bateau Mouche. This is really fun! We are doing the same trip, only one way; we board right next to our ship and will get off at Ile de la Cite’.
I love his bird’s eye view – I wonder if he has to walk up all those flights carrying his groceries? Maybe they have retrofitted an elevator?
We arrive; the normal toilets are blocked off with the upcoming Olympics, so Tauck makes a deal with a local store to let us use their restroom – a familiar store on the Left Bank (Subway.)
It’s a long line, but serendipitous – we start to meet our cruising mates. Here is one of the unexpected blessings. The cruise is full of families of all shapes and kinds. Some are celebrating, and some are grieving and overcoming losses. Some are traditional and some are not. The families are formulated all different ways with one thing in common – they love their children and grandchildren, and the trip is a wonderful way to spend time together. We all have a lot in common, no matter what our differences might be.
We are in the group that starts with the Citroyen Tour, and we have to be a party of three so we ask to take N with us – she is a lot of fun.
We arrived back at the meeting point to discover our other three family members had not been able to go, they were one car short! We agreed to take N on the next activity, and then split up for lunch, agreeing to meet in an hour.
We walked a short way into the Left Bank and found a place to eat that sang to our souls.
Our time in Paris is short; we are happy to make the most of it!
Pork with sauce, frites, and salad
Steak frites and salad
I forgot to take pictures of the chocolate mousse!
Across the street was a very beautiful small church, Sainte Severin. As we stood outside looking at it, the waiter ran after us carrying my husband’s “go bag” with our maps and water jugs. He was so kind and went to a lot of trouble to catch us.
We meet up with our family, grab N and head for our group meet-up.
We love Paris. We’ve spent a lot of time in Paris. AdventureMan and I agree that our next experience blows us out of the water. It is thrilling, and it brings history to life in an intense way – you are a participant!
It is called Eternelle Notre Dame.
If someone told you that you would experience the history of Notre Dame Cathedral, you might go ho-hum. I did.
We were guided downstairs to what I am told used to be an underground parking lot, now a museum and virtual reality area. N went with a couple of her friends, and we were right behind her. You only “see” the persons in your group, but others appear, and we always know which one was N, so we felt comfortable that she was safe.
We were suited up with a backpack thing and helmet, including goggles that covered our entire upper faces. It felt a little creepy but I was curious enough to endure it.
And then the adventure begins! Your medieval guide appears and gives you instructions. You see a path and you follow it, or if you do not, you wait for instruction. Sounds simple enough, right? At the beginning, it is.
You are surrounded by medieval Paris. You meet the craftsmen and watch them work. They are just beginning to build the cathedral.
Now I will stop telling you about the experience or I may tell you too much. Perhaps I am too suggestible. My husband said I nearly gripped his hand off! There were times I could NOT move forward, I was so afraid. I knew this was make-believe, but my lying eyes told me otherwise. Once, I groaned aloud!
It was one of the most memorable, intense Paris experiences I have ever had, and I feel like I was there, all the many years they spent building the cathedral. I had no idea! When I can re-visit the real Notre Dame of Paris, it will be with new eyes and new appreciation!
(I screenshotted these images off TripAdvisor, which sells tickets for this visit.)
N had a great time, too. We met up with her parents and then parted company. Here is the truth – sometimes we are bad examples to our grandchildren. We skipped the walk. We told the guide we knew how to return to the ship, and we went to a cafe to sit and talk about our Eternelle Notre Dame experience. What was really fun was that the walking group went by and we waved at our family from our cafe’ table.
We had an iced lemon drink, leisurely found our way to the metro/train station, and caught the train to Javel. It was a short walk to the ship, where we met up for a lively dinner.
Boarding the Ms. Sapphire
The ride to the pier took us through a part of town we hadn’t visited this trip, and in no time we were boarding the Ms. Sapphire. While we settled in, K took off to do some quick shopping; she is familiar with Paris and it was smart of her to grab some time where she could find it. Orientation would be at 5 and dinner at 6, so we unpacked and explored our new surroundings.
The curtains are closed because we are tied up next to another ship, AND because it is still really hot in Paris. And yes, it is temporarily chaotic while we get our clothes hung in the closet and our bags stowed, have a little patience!
We had packed just enough to get us through the trip; we had so much more space than we needed. In this bathroom, every mirror has a cupboard behind it, and there are additional electrical sockets in the little cupboards. The shower is luxuriously spacious.
We all got oriented, heard the plan for the next day (Classic Citroen Car Tour, a virtual tour through the ages of Notre Dame under construction, and a walking tour of the Left Bank, whew, and lunch on the Left Bank, yay!) and sat down to dinner. We were ushered to a lovely table for six, and spent most of the trip sitting at that table.
It takes a special crew to be so good with a wide range of ages. The waitstaff was excellent. Our primary waiter, Peter, was good at explaining how things worked and helping us find our way through it. No, they made explicit, French law would not allow serving wine to anyone under 18. You could order a starter, a main course, and a dessert, or three starters, or just a main course or even just dessert, which is up to you. They had wonderful desserts, and an ice cream stand in the back where any combination of ice cream and sauces was possible. Just how good can it get? They kept adult wine glasses filled unless you firmly said no.
It’s a new culture, new foods, and also familiar foods, up to you. The young people learned customs and etiquette very quickly. Yes, you can get your Caesar salad WITHOUT anchovies. (I love anchovies, and it’s how Caesar salads come in France, wooo hooo!) There are several choices at each meal and at least two soups from which to choose. Portions are normal-sized, and you can get more if you need (lots of teenage boys on board.) There is also a buffet with lots of favorites for American young people.
Just after dinner, our son’s family took off for the Eifel Tower to take one last stab at going up.
Success! Although it is close to 10:00 at night, there remains enough daylight to climb up and enjoy the view!
Bravo to parents who help their children achieve their goals!
Climb the Arch, Lunch at Cafe de Paris
This is a really fun day. We gather in the dining room for breakfast, and all around us we can see other families gathering. I wonder who is on the trip with us?
After breakfast, AdventureMan takes Q and N on a great adventure, climbing to the top of the Arch of Triumph.
Direct quote from Baba (aka AdventureMan)”Made it, calves burning, heart racing.”
Their view from the Arch:
Everyone arrives back at the hotel around the same time. Mom and Dad have not had any luck with tickets, but they have a plan. We decide to have a nice lunch in Paris before we board the bus to take us to the ship. The bags have gone ahead and we will see them again on board the Ms. Sapphire.
Lunch at the Cafe de Paris was great. The waiters were wonderful with the children, explaining everything. Yes, N could have her Ceasar salad WITHOUT the anchovies. Yes, the steak frites came with fries. Yes to everything – what is not to love?
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