The YaYas
I see them everywhere. Small groups of women, usually three or four, sitting in church together, heads together over lunch, power walking down the boulevard, at coffee after their tennis matches. You can see the intimacy, the trust – these are women who have grown together over time. They share their secrets. They prop each other up in the bad times. They laugh over their faux-pas.
No, I don’t envy them, nor do I want to become a part of their group. I know my own YaYas will build, and I will have women I love sharing my life here. Meanwhile, I miss my old YaYa’s.
I’ve been here a year now. The one year point, for me, is usually when things start happening. The real friends come along. I start committing and getting involved in my new community. When I think of all the details we have overcome in one year, all the anxieties I had, all the details over which I agonized, I thank God for his mercy and for the peace of mind we have now. Truly, he answered every prayer, and brought us to a good and spacious place.
Lunch in Paris (A Love Story With Recipes) by Elizabeth Bond
I just finished this book, and I need to review it so that I can pass it along to my daughter-in-law, who sees France, as I do, through eyes of love. Americans either love France or hate it, for some reason France evokes strong emotions one way or the other.
This author is a New Yorker, and her experiences are not my experiences, because her culture is not my culture. New York is a culture all its own. On the other hand, her experiences as an expat are universal, and her insecurity with the language, the culture and the customs are magnified by her commitment to marrying a French man and living in France for the rest of her life.
For the record, I really loved this book.
Can you read a recipe and have a pretty good idea what it is going to look like and how it will taste? In my family, we read cook books for fun. The recipes Elizabeth Bond has included are great recipes, a great start on French cooking the simple and fresh way. Even someone who has never cooked French food can make most of the dishes she creates in this book. In my very favorite chapter, A New Year’s Feast, there are several recipes for North African dishes I have eaten and loved – and oh, I am eager to try these! Chicken Tajine with Two Kinds of Lemon! Tajine with Meatballs and Spiced Apricots! Oh, YUMMMM!
In one part of the book, the author talks about some very basic differences between how Americans approach life and how the French view life:
I watched the couples walking around the lake. “Maybe it’s the New Yorker in me. I’m too used to rushing around. But everyone here is so relaxed, it’s like they’re moving in slow motion.”
“Why should they rush? They’re not going to get anywhere.”
Sometimes I really have no idea what he is taling about.
“You will never understand. You come from a place where everything is possible.” We lay side by side on the grass, our eyes half closed.
“It’s Henry Miller that said, ‘In America, every man is potentially a president. Here, every man is potentially a zero.’ ”
And then he told me a story.
“When I was sixteen it was time to decide what kind of studies I would pursue. I was the best in the class in Math and Physics, but also the best in Literature. I went to the school library and the woman behind the desk gave me a book. It was called All the Jobs in the World. I looked through it. I found two things I liked: scientific researcher and film director. I brought the book to the front and showed her my choices. ‘Ah non,’ she said, ‘You forgot to look at the key.’ And she pointed to the top of the page. Next to each job were the dollar signs – three dollar signs if the job paid a lot of money, one dollar sign if it paid very little. Next to the dollar sign was a door. If the door was wide open it was very easy to tet this job, if the door was open just a little bit, it was very hard. ‘Regard,‘ she said, ‘You have picked only jobs with no dollar signs and a closed door. Tu n’y arriveras jamais. You will never get there.”
‘You should become an engineer,’ she said. My parents never met anyone who did these other things. We don’t come from that world. They had no friends they could call to get me a job. They were afraid I would fail and they couldn’t help me. They were afraid I would have no place in the society. And I didn’t have the force to do it myself. I didn’t want to disappoint them. So I became an engineer.”
“It’s just like that here. If you want to do something different, if you head sticks up just a little, they cut it off. It’s been like that since the Revolution. You know the saying, Liberte,’ Egalite,’ Fraternite,’ equality is right in the middle. Everyone has got to be the same.
Of all the stories Gwendal has told me, before or since, this one shocked me the most. Never in my life, not once, had anyone ever told me there was something I couldn’t do, couldn’t be.
Have you ever known an expat wife (a woman who has married a man of another culture and lived in his country)? Expat wives are some of the bravest women I have ever met. No matter how long you have been married to a man of another culture, you can still be surprised.
The expat wives I have known have been smart, gifted people, woman who have been blessed to see the world through the eyes of more than one culture, and it changes everything. Their children are amazing – most will speak – and think – in more than one language. They have a sort of international fluidity, as well as intercultural fluency. It isn’t everyone’s choice, but those who chose it often live lives you and I can only begin to imagine. Elizabeth Bond has opened the door a little, and shared some of those experiences with us.
The book I bought has Reader’s Groups questions in the back, and they are good questions. Read the questions first; it gives you food for thought as you read through her experiences.
Groupon Takes Us on a Dolphin Cruise in Destin
Do you know about Groupons? If you click on the blue type, it will take you to the groupon site for Pensacola, but they have special deals in many cities. You sign up. It’s FREE. You get notices for the cities you sign up for, like I get notices for both Pensacola and Seattle. Every day, Groupon sends you an offer – like for $5 you get $10 worth of food at some restaurant, or for $25 you get $50 worth of entertainment at Waterville (I made that name up) or some discount at a specialty boutique or local spa. I have found them amazingly helpful; many of them are for places we love to go anyway, whether we have a ‘groupon’ or not.
You pay with PayPal or Visa, and then they tell you you can print your groupon. Usually you have to wait a day before you can use it, but that is never a problem for us.
So with houseguests coming, when I saw the Groupon for Dolphin Cruises out of Destin with Olin Marler Charters (a short drive from Pensacola), I bought four Groupons; two adult and two seniors. It was a great discount. Our friends are always ready to do something fun, so we made a day out of it.
Sometimes I am having so much fun I forget to take enough photos, like lunch, but I did get the ice cream break. This was a fabulous dessert, a berry sorbet with whole blueberries, currants, raspberries, etc inside – it was SO good. So GOOD!
We hit the SanDestin Outlet Malls, big mistake, they had hoardes of shoppers and people lining up with numbers to get into some of the most popular shops (shudder!) so we toodled around and got back to the dock in time for the sunset cruise. The boat had a good load, but was not too crowded, and we had perfect, beautiful weather. Here are some photos:
I don’t get cold easily, in fact I am sort of famous for not feeling cold much at all. I always joke and say it’s because I was born in Alaska, and I am an Eskimo, but after three hours out on the Gulf, coming back into port, I got a little cold. Well, actually, I was pretty cold. So cold that when we went to the nearby BBQ place, The Shed, I did not take a single picture. I really was cold! They had really good BBQ and great blues music.
US Highway Deaths Lowest Since 1949
The major reason? 84% US drivers use seat belts. You can read the entire article at AOL News
WASHINGTON — Highway deaths have plummeted to their lowest levels in more than 60 years, helped by more people wearing seat belts, better safety equipment in cars and efforts to curb drunken driving.
The Transportation Department estimated Friday that 32,788 people were killed on U.S. roads in 2010, a decrease of about 3 percent from 2009. It’s the fewest number of deaths since 1949 — during the presidency of Harry Truman — when more than 30,000 people were killed.
The Pacific Northwest region, which includes Washington state, Oregon, Idaho, Montana and Alaska, saw fatalities fall 12 percent. Western states including Arizona, California and Hawaii also posted large declines.
Government officials said the number of deaths was still significant but credited efforts on multiple fronts to make roadways safer.
“Too many of our friends and neighbors are killed in preventable roadway tragedies every day,” said Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood. “We will continue doing everything possible to make cars safer, increase seat belt use, put a stop to drunk driving and distracted driving and encourage drivers to put safety first.”
Red Laser
I waited and waited for the Verizon iPhone to come out, and while I waited, I met an app I loved. When we were out buying for the Salvation Army Angel program, one of my friends would read the bar code on a product and instantly, it would show where the product was also available (and how far, in miles) and would also show mail-order prices online. So if we found a bike, it would tell us where it was cheaper, and by how much. Oh! I wanted that app.
So when I got my new phone, it was one of the first apps I downloaded (after amazon.com) and it was FREE!
It is so much fun. You press the Red Laser icon, the program opens. To scan a barcode, you press the lightning bolt at the bottom of the screen, get the bar code within the block shown on your screen, and it does all the rest, seconds later you have all your comparison costs.
Wow. It is a frugal shopper’s delight.
So if you have favorite things, and you are running low, you can scan them in your own home and your phone will tell you where the best prices are. I love this app.
What I can’t figure out is how do they make money on this when they give it to you for free?
Outrageous Mortgage “Servicing”
We have had our most recent mortgage with PHH, thanks to AdventureMan’s hard work, and this morning, my husband is on the phone with their bureaucratic, less-than-helpful customer service agent.
I hate them. I know it is a sin. I hate these practices.
AdventureMan sent them a check with more than enough to pay off the mortgage. When we checked the status online, we still owed a small amount. Then we saw that although the check was clearly marked “principal only,” PHH had applied part of it to another monthly payment, and then the rest to the principal. (Sleaze bag practice to prolong payment periods.)
“You cannot pay off the loan with a personal check,” the customer service representative says.
“You sent the check to the wrong address; that address is for principal only,” she says, and you can tell she is reading off a script.
AdventureMan asks to speak to her supervisor. She says that is not possible.
This is just an outrage. Every day they can postpone the final payment, they get interest from us. When we have sent more than enough money to cover the principal and all the escrow payments, we get this brick wall.
Personal check? They’ve already cashed the personal check! They have the money! This is outrageous!
We had to deal with the company once before, with another mortgage. Their practices are disgusting. God willing, we will never have to deal with them again.
King Abdulla Returns to Saudi Arabia, Announces Benefits
Sometimes, there is little to say, the news says it all. Ghadaffi calling his own Libyans “rats” “cockroaches” “cowards” “traitors”, aging, long term leaders announcing increased benefits for citizens . . . These are interesting times. The winds of change are blowing, and no one can tell where those changes will take us . . .
From todays BBC World News:
Saudi King offers benefits as he returns from treatment
The king was greeted by hundreds of well-wishers on his arrival at Riyadh airport
Continue reading the main story
Saudi Arabia’s King Abdullah has announced increased benefits for his citizens, as he returned after months abroad getting medical treatment.
There will be extra funds for housing, studying abroad and social security, according to state television.
King Abdullah has been away from the country for three months, during which time mass protests have changed the political landscape of the Middle East.
There have been few demonstrations in Saudi Arabia.
You can read more at BBC World News/Middle East
Good Night, Kuwait
It’s been a great day in Kuwait.
I needed to go into Fehaheel this morning. Why Fehaheel? I know Fehaheel, and Fehaheel is so much more manageable, to me, than driving downtown to find what I need, and I always have a list. Feheheel is more concentrated, and, if you can find what you need, the prices are often better.
All my secret parking spots are already taken, and it is not even ten o’clock. People! What is going on here?
After circling several times, I found a spot and headed to a shop where there is my kind of guy. He lit up when he saw my camera, and not only did he have the card reader I needed – for less than I would pay in the US – he also had a card with DOUBLE the amount of space on it. Well, I don’t even use all the space on the cards I use, but I appreciated his enthusiasm, and that he keeps up with all the latest advances in photo technology.
So I asked him where he changes his money, and he gave me directions, AND he told me not to take less than 27.700 – 27.750 per dollar, that it holds fairly steady.
As you might have figured out by now, I am a western woman, so the first price I get is often not the same price my Kuwait or Indian friends might get. Armored with the quote my photo-nerd friend gave me, I fought the good fight, when the money-changer would look at me and say 27.500, I knew better! I would just laugh and tell him I am going next door. Finally, when I said that, one guy said OK, OK, 27.900, and I didn’t blink an eye, just changed my money, WOOO HOOOO. I know, I know, it is a primitive response, the hunter-gatherer still present in my lizard-ego, but I love not getting taken.
I found all kinds of wonderful things to take back today, including a Kuwait flag that I can fly on Liberation Day, and when Kuwait friends come to visit. 🙂 I had one when I lived here before, but it was windy, and it blew away!
And here is a final photo for today – today’s sun going down into an Ethel tree. (When I was a kid, there was a gas called Ethel; I think it was special, but I never hear anyone talk about ethel anymore. I can’t imagine Ethel-the-gas and Ethel-the-tree are related.)
Car Rental Fees Update
So here is how my car rental looked:
The ACTUAL charge was like $142 for the week. “Fees” and taxes came to an additional $76.85. It is SO misleading when you are quoted a car rental price and it doesn’t include those charges until the final tally. It’s OK for me, it’s just what I have to do, but I remember being young, and when an extra almost $77 might have been a really bad surprise.
The check-in person asked me how I liked the car – a Ford Focus. I told her I hated it. I know it’s being advertised as ‘better than Toyota’ but it isn’t. It drives like a boat. It is clunky feeling, and it doesn’t get great pick-up. When I first got in, I had to drive those extra narrow, extra fast lanes on Seattle’s crowded I-5 going North, and it was raining and water is swooshing off the tops of trucks (who were passing me) and I just hated the car.
Toyotas are more nimble. Toyotas have better pick-up. You know, I would rather like to buy American, but first the automakers have to show me that they have a car that makes you happy to be driving.
People kid me about my Rav4, that it’s a young people’s car, but you know, I love the way it drives, I love the way it grips the road and goes anywhere, and still remains small enough and nimble enough to park in a tiny little spot. It has a much bigger feel, and is so comfortable. The Ford Focus is just clunky.
BTW, I asked the check in person if it was legal for me to rent a car for a week to get the better rate and then to turn it in early. She just laughed and said “It’s not illegal; it’s SMART!”
. . . And He Doesn’t Even Know My Name . . .
Barrister Peter Williams wants to send me all this money . . . and he doesn’t even know my name???
ATTENTION BENEFICIARY,
WE THE MONEY GRAM URGENT REMMITTING OFFICE HAVE SENT YOUR FULL COMPENSATION PAYMENT OF 900.000.00 USD TO YOU THROUGH MONEY GRAM YOU WILL BE RECEIVING 10.000.00 USD PER DAY. NOW WE HAVE SEND THE FIRST PAYMENT TO YOU. SO CONTACT OUR DIRECTOR Dr.Robert Nnamdi AND ASK HIM TO GIVE YOU THE MONEY GRAM PAYMENT INFORMATION SO THAT YOU CAN BE ABLE TO PICK UP YOUR FUNDS THROUGH MONEY GRAM WITHOUT ANY PROBLEM.
HERE IS THE CONTACT INFORMATION OF MONEY GRAM
DIRECTOR GENERAL…Dr.Robert Nnamdi
EMAIL ADRESS … (money.gram2@globomail.com)
PHONE NUMBER +229-989-178-09
THEN CONTACT HIM WITH YOUR FULL INFORMATION.
YOURE NAME: _____________________
YOURE COUNTRY: ______________________
YOURE PHONE NUMBER: ____________________
YOURE ADDRESS: _____________________________
YOURE CITY: _____________________________________
YOURE AGE: _________________________________________
YOURE SEX: ______________________________________________
CALL OR EMAIL HIM NOW SO THAT HE CAN PROVIDE THE MONEY GRAM INFORMATION TO YOU AS URGENT AS YOU CAN.
THANKS AND GOD
Barr. Peter Williams
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