“Something More Serious”
I remember clearly the first time I ever felt old.
I had discovered a Lancome product, Renergie, that I loved. I have always been good at trying to keep my face “moisturized,” and had graduated up to Lancome from good old Oil of Olay. We were living in Germany once more, our son was about eight years old, and I think they formulate Oil of Olay differently for different customer bases; the smell was different in Germany (and even more different in Qatar! I think it has a sort of cumin undertone!) but I had found this Renergie stuff that glided on and smelled good and wasn’t oily or sticky, so I liked it. It was expensive, but we had a little more money now and I felt it was a splurge.
My Renergie was running out; I needed a replacement. I happened to stop by the Lancome counter at a time when there was a Lancome representative there who asked what I needed. I told her I was looking for the Renergie that I loved.
Simple question, right?
The Lancome representive stops, and looks at me closely. There is this long, uncomfortable pause as she continues to look at me. I’m frankly annoyed.
“My dear,” she starts, “You need something more serious.”
Something more serious? I’m thirty-five years old! I have not yet got any wrinkles to speak of! My skin is in great shape!
All these thoughts rush into my head as the saleslady continues to look at me seriously, and to move toward some heavier creams, which I HATE. I’m still dealing with that one word – “serious.”
I need something “serious.”
It was so devastating to me that my reaction was almost physical revulsion. I think my legs went week and shakey. Looking back, I suspect that it is part of a sales pitch, a script devised to move the customer up the scale to more and more expensive products. I think I even sensed it then, but the truth is, when someone says something like that to you, it damages a vanity that you didn’t even know you had.
I don’t think I bought anything that day. I think I stumbled out of the store and went to pick up my son from his karate lesson and sneaked back at a time when there was no Lancome lady there and bought what I really wanted – the Renergie.
But the damage had been done. Now, when I put the cream on my face I was looking in the mirror for whatever the saleslady had seen that indicated I needed something more “serious.”
It wasn’t long before I humbled myself and went back and asked what the representative thought I really needed, and we agreed on the light form – the lotion – which also went on nicely and smelled good, because how it smells really matters to me. I don’t care how good it is; if it doesn’t smell good – to me – I can’t wear it.
She moved me up to Primordiale, which I wore for years until the next Lancome representative looked at me and said brightly “I bet you would love Absolue! It will get rid of those little crow’s feet in no time!”
We all have weak spots that we don’t even know we have. If you are a man and you have read this far, you will laugh in your superior way, thinking this is just a piece of fluff. To you I say wait until your son beats you in those family wrestling matches for the first time, beats you fairly. When our son would wrestle with his Dad, I would say “I hear the antlers clanging in the forest!” as they fought for who would be the king. To you I say that the sad day will come when you are no longer the biggest bull moose in the forest, and you, too, will have that sad, humbled feeling I got when I was told I needed something more “serious.”
The advertisers of this world know our weaknesses. I am willing to bet the Lancome ladies have a script they use, to press our buttons, to expose weaknesses we don’t even know we have. My husband brings home a Men’s Health occasionally – have you ever noticed, every one of them is the same? There are articles about making your abs flat, taking vitamins and reviving your sex life – in every issue! They know where we feel bad about ourselves before we even know it, and they are making a lot of money off of our inadequacies!
And no, my friends, I don’t have any answers. Even while I know that these things are the vain, inconsequential things of this world, even while I know that this is all passing vanity, even while I try to resist, I succumb. Sometimes the temptations is too great and my spirit is too weak to stand up to their insistence that I need something “more serious.” This blog entry is merely my meager attempt to fight back.
Ramadan Supplies
Oh! It’s a perfect day to be out shopping. Stores are putting out all the special Ramadan things – and now is the time you can find all the things that have been missing all summer. It’s a lush, wealthy time, anticipating the joys of the coming month of Ramadan.
And look what I found! Straight from the Street of Lanterns?
No! Made in China!
Kuwait For Kuwaitis
Today, two Indian gentlemen passed me on the Gulf Road and ended up in front of me at the next stoplight. They gave me a good laugh:
“I Miss Hamad. . . “
Talk was desultory as the book club broke up, several women had already left when Hannah hit us with this bombshell. It was a most puzzling statement. We had all passed Hamad in the hallway on our way to bookclub. He would greet us gruffly, but not really look at us as we buzzed into the women’s diwaniyya.
“What are you talking about?” popped up Lena, never at a loss for words. “How can you miss Hamad? He’s right here!”
Hannah exchanged glances with Diana, also married to a Kuwaiti. They grinned, ruefully.
“You’ve only been back a week,” Diana said.
“Yes, but I MISS that sweet, loving husband. When we are away, he turns back into the delightful, charming man I married! He holds my hand, he takes me out for dinner, it’s like when we first met! He’s a different man! Oh, how I miss him! And we’ve only been back a week.” She echoed Diana.
Diana sighed.
“And is he playing the ‘ayb’ card?” she asked? “‘Ayb’ how you walk around the house, ‘ayb’ how you smile too much, ‘ayb’ here, ‘ayb’ there, ‘ayb ayb’ everywhere?”
They started giggling. Others joined in, their giggles were so infectious. Soon, the seven women remaining from the book club meeting were gasping for air, they were laughing so hard.
“I’ve stopped changing!” Hannah hooted! “Every time I changed what he asked, he found something new!”
And the laughter started again – it’s an international group, and the critical husband thing is something that is easily understood by women of all nations.
“I want him back!” Hannah moaned, weak from laughter. “I want my Hamad back!”
I Thought I’d Never See You Again
I thought I saw you from across the room. My heart leapt into my throat – I didn’t dare believe my eyes.
I thought I would never see you again. When you disappeared from my life, life lost a little of it’s savor. I looked for you, I searched for you, always disappointed. I had become so addicted, without even knowing it. You made such a difference in my life. Without you, there is only darkness.
I woke up each morning yearning for you, and sad because of your absence. Oh yes, I moved on, I found others, but I was never satisfied. I never found a substitute for you.
So you understand why I appeared so wild-eyed with happiness? Why I grabbed at you so greedily? I want you in my life! Please, don’t desert me again!
Grach
Maybe he uses his grach for barking?
If I were looking for a place to live, this ad would have served it’s purpose. It’s got incredible placement, along Gulf Road, and it is clear what it is advertising, and the phone numbers are nice and big, big enough to write down while you wait at the spotlight. (ooops, stoplight.)
Maybe the “grach” was intentional?
And the the flat has three flowers?
It made me smile. It made me pray to have enough time to grab my camera so I could share the grin with you.
Bottom line, if he paid someone to make this sign, he should get some of his money back. On the other hand, it DOES get your attention.
Catching Up
I’m trying to catch up on all the magazines that arrived while I was gone. This was a cover on one of my New Yorker magazines, and it gave me a big grin. Hope it makes you grin, too.
Urge for Sex in Mornings?
I am always fascinated by what brings people to my blog. I take a look from time to time at the Search Engine Terms – I love it that WordPress gives us so much information. But today I was baffled – most of these, I can understand, I have blogged on many of these subjects.
I have never blogged on the urge for sex in mornings.
It gives me a big giggle to think so many strange phrases and questions lead to my blog, but I laugh because I can’t think of any serious reason why it works that way. Sometimes life is just weird.
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French Chocolate Ice Cream
Perfect for beating the summer heat! This ice cream is so rich, so creamy, and so chocolat-ey that it makes you forget your worries.
French Chocolate Ice Cream
This takes a little time – and an ice cream churn – but oh, is it so worth it.
2 teaspoons vanilla flavoring
2 cups milk
6 egg yolks
1 cup sugar
1 Tablespoon cornstarch
1/4 teaspoon salt
6 squares unsweetened chocolate
3 cups heavy cream
Heat milk in small saucepan just until bubbles begin to appear around edge of pan.
Beat egg yolks in large bowl with sugar, cornstarch and salt.
Slowly add hot milk into egg yolk mixture, stirring constantly.
Return all to saucepan and heat slowly , stirring constantly, over medium heat until mixture thickens and just comes to a boil.
Remove from heat and add two teaspoons vanilla and chocolate squares, and continue stirring until the chocolate is melted.
Stir in cream.
Cool completely.
Strain into a four quart freezer can of ice cream maker.
Freeze according to manufacturers directions. Serve immediately, or spoon into freezer container and place in freezer. This won’t last long – it is SO good!
Note:
One time I was making this ice cream for guests. My small son, who loved this ice cream, kept asking if it was cool enough to churn yet. I told him one thing: Don’t touch the ice cream container.
He couldn’t help it. He had to see if it was cool enough to churn. Unfortunately, the refrigerator-slick canister slid through his hands, and as he struggled to catch it, he somehow hit it up, and put some spin on it. As I prepared to welcome guests, the gooey, thick, chocolate mixture twirled up, up and out of the canister, spinning ALL OVER THE KITCHEN and all over my small son.
He looked so horrified as he stood there, rooted to the floor, covered by his chocolaty guilt. He looked at me with terror in his eyes. He had disobeyed, and he feared the consequences.
I struggled really really hard not to laugh, and I looked at him very crossly and told him he had to stand there, covered with chocolate, until I had cleaned up the rest of the mess. Then I cleaned him up, and started another batch of the mixture. Just in time, I popped him into the bathtub as the guests arrived. The mixture was cool enough by the time I served dinner, and churned as we ate. It was ready just in time for dessert.
To this day, I think of my son with a big grin every time I see this recipe.
Holy Cow! It’s Hard to Explain.
As I was leaving the Apple Market, I saw this display:
which totally cracked me up.
EnviroGirl told me there are all kinds of displays for all kinds of life events – birthdays, new babies, anniversaries, promotions, graduations – if you can think it up, this company will put it out there. Tombstones for a 40th birthday, storks for babies, and this one – Holy Cow! for a birthday.
I don’t know how I would like to get to work and find one of these displays outside on my birthday – I prefer to celebrate quietly, without a lot of fanfare. But every time I see these, I have to grin, so I guess it isn’t all that bad.
What also gives me a grin, however, is how very American this tradition is. I cannot imagine it at all in Kuwait. I can’t imagine it in Germany. Somehow, I just don’t think it would be so funny in any other country, except maybe South Africa, or Australia . . . countries where people don’t take themselves too seriously, and the loss of dignity would not be too severe. It’s just a joke, something a good friend might do.
What do you think? Do you think it is too undignified? Does it invade privacy? Do you think it is funny?
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