Manly Cosmetics
I vacated my bathroom for houseguests recently, and as I was moving my toiletries back in, with wry amusement I noticed how many face creams I have. Creams for eyes, creams for lips, creams for night, creams for going out into the sun, creams for after having gone out into the sun, creams for day, creams for “noticable reductions in wrinkles in 7 days or less.”
(The problem is, seven days later when I am looking for a noticable reduction, I can’t really tell if it is working or not. I look, but I am wondering what I might have looked like if I HADN’T used the cream? I don’t know!)
And I was thinking about men, who have skin, too. Particularly I was thinking about Adventure Man, and what would it take for him to feel comfortable using a skin cream?
First – it would have to have a very manly name. None of this Homme stuff, it would have to imply that this is a product a RUGGED man would use. Like Manly Lather. “Lather” is a word that goes with men, like barbers lather up your face before they shave you. Women use foam, men use LATHER.
Another name I thought might work would be Extreme Unction because manly men like flying near that edge of the envelope, it’s a testosterone thing, and unction means anointing, like with an oil. If you are Catholic, you receive extreme unction just before dying, or before people think you are about to die, so even unction has an extreme connotation.
Maybe Braveheart? Maybe Rock?
Help me out here.
If you are a guy, (please, keep it clean) what kind of names would allow you to use a face cream with dignity?
If you are a gal (and rolling on the floor laughing) what names can you think of that would encourage a guy to actually USE a face cream?
Have fun with this!
Laughter is the Best Weapon
I just heard this quote on Good Morning America as they are discussing how Hilary Clinton laughs to disarm her critics and opponents:
The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter. Mark Twain.
Good old Mark Twain! That cagey old cynic said some great things. I found this wonderful web page: Brainy Quotes: Mark Twain
Here are some that I just love. Take a look and see what YOU like.
Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.
What a wee little part of a person’s life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.
We have the best government that money can buy.
To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.
There is no distinctly American criminal class – except Congress.
There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.
The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.
Man was made at the end of the week’s work when God was tired.
It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
At Iftaar
You are breaking your fast, and we are king of the road! What’s not to love about Ramadan? You get all the spiritual rewards of fasting and praying, you get friends and family. We get the brief miracle of clear roads, available parking spaces and uncrowded malls. What’s not to love about this arrangement?
This is the road in front of us just as you are sitting down for Futoor:
Qatteri Cat Wants a Drink of Water
The Qatteri Cat loves FRESH water. (We know we spoil him.) This is how he tells us he wants it FRESH.
Lexiograms
My friend KitKat is on a roll. She knows how much I love words and puns and groaners (jokes so bad they make you groan because you don’t see ’em coming). Thank you, KitKat!
Lexiograms
1. A bicycle can’t stand alone because it is two-tired.
2. What’s the definition of a will? It’s a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
4. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
5. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
6. If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
7. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
8. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
9. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
10. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
11. He often broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
12. A lot of money is tainted. ‘Taint yours and ‘taint mine.
13. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
14. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
15. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
16. When you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
17. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
18. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.
19. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
20. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
Motherhood in 2:55
I saw this on Good Morning America, and then my oldest, dearest friend sent me the same in an e-mail. Motherhood condensed into 2 minutes and 55 seconds. Very original.
Every time I listened to it I understood it better! Adventure Man is rolling on the floor!
Understanding Engineers
Thank you, KitKat, for sending me these. Nice to start the day with a grin! 🙂
One:
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said,
“Where did you get such a great bike?”
The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday
minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike.
She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said,
“Take what you want.”
The second engineer nodded approvingly, “Good choice; the clothes
probably wouldn’t have fit.”
Understanding Engineers – Take Two:
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is
half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to
be.
Understanding Engineers – Take Three:
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, “What’s with
these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!”
The doctor chimed in, “I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such
ineptitude!”
The pastor said, “Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let’s have a word
with him.” [dramatic pause] “Hi George, say, what’s with that group
ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?”
The greens keeper replied, “Oh, yes, that’s a group of blind
firefighters lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last
year, so we always let them play for free anytime.”
The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, “That’s so sad. I
think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.”
The doctor said, “Good idea. And I’m going to contact my
ophthalmologist buddy and see if there’s anything he can do for them.”
The engineer said, “Why can’t these guys play at night?”
Understanding Engineers – Take Four:
There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things
mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he
happily retired. Several years later the company contacted him regarding
a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their
multimillion dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone
else to get the machine to work but to no avail. In desperation, they
called on the retired engineer who had solved so
many of their problems in the past.
The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying
the huge machine. At the end of the day, he marked a small “x” in chalk
on a particular component of the machine and stated, “This is where your
problem is.” The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly
again.
The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his
service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges.
The engineer responded briefly: “One chalk mark, $1.00. Knowing where
to put it $49, 999.00.”
It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.
Understanding Engineers – Take Five:
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil
Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons. Civil Engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers – Take Six:
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the
possible designers of the human body. One said, “It was a mechanical
engineer. Just look at all the joints. ”
Another said, “No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system
has many thousands of electrical connections.”
The last said, “Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a
toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?”
Understanding Engineers – Take Seven:
Normal people believe that …if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
Engineers believe that: “…if it ain’t broke, it doesn’t have enough
features yet.”-Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle
Understanding Engineers – Take Eight:
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was
better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he
enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring
relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the
passion and mystery he found there.
The engineer said, “I like both.”
The others: “Both?”
Engineer: “Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each
assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the
lab and get some work done.”
Understanding Engineers – Take Nine:
An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him
and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent
over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up
again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful
princess, I will stay with you for one week.” The engineer took the frog
out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog
then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll
stay with you and do ANYTHING you want.” Again the engineer took the
frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the
frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess,
that I’ll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won’t
you kiss me?”
The engineer said, “Look I’m an engineer. I don’t have time for a
girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that’s cool.”
Where’s QC?
This is one of his favorite games: Where is the Qatteri Cat? But if you put your finger too close to that little paw, you may have a painful surprise – he is very very fast and those sharp little claws can do some serious damage in a matter of seconds. Better to use a feather duster!
On the Horizon
Just another beautiful Kuwait sunrise – oh wait! What is that deep colored band on the horizon? And is anyone else having terrible allergy problems these days?
Recent Comments
intlxpatr on British Soldier Kidnapped, Esc… John on British Soldier Kidnapped, Esc… intlxpatr on British Soldier Kidnapped, Esc… John Smith on British Soldier Kidnapped, Esc… tigerbutterya0c5ff1d… on “Who Would Do Such a… Wikipedia Donate Button
Amazina
Early Voting in Florida
Here There and Everywhere 